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NOTE
I changed the name of Joohyuk into Heeseung ( Jungkook's brother ). Hope you won't get confused! Imagine him as Lee Heeseung from Enhypen.
Enjoy!
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< play fine line ☝🏻 >
As the day gradually warms up, the gentle touch of sunlight spills through the windows of the café, filling me up with the sense of security and warmth. Yet, amidst this coziness, it feels as though heavy boulders are resting on my chest. Opening up with someone is not an easy task, its's like you let them see how lonely and scarred you are inside, that's how I feel in this moment. How much can you open up to a person?
The minute I saw Taehyung's eyes halting from shock, a small part of me felt ashamed, as if whatever I had shared should have been kept locked away in a box of secrets. In his warm, brown coffee eyes, I could witness the rapid waves of emotions shifting in mere seconds – hurt, shock, helplessness all together.
"Nina, I'm so sorry" he said. It hurt; he didn't have to be sorry. The only person who truly needed to apologize was my dad.
"It's okay, it cannot be helped" I replied. His eyes widened even more than before, and my gaze shifted to the coffee in front of me.
"The intention of hurting you is bad enough!"
I wanted to tell him to keep his voice down, but he wasn't really being loud. I was the anxious one. I was falling apart. I was ashamed, and I didn't understand why. Maybe just because everyone saw and thought of my dad as a respectable cop back in the old days, it left me with an impression of forever being perfect, even if it wasn't like that.
My Father always used to say that my family's dirt was my dirt too. With Taehyung, my best friend, I could lower my guard, reassured that there was no need for shame. Yet, anxiety gripped me tightly-fear of being seen as rotten or just broken. It wasn't about what he thought of me; Taehyung didn't care. He only wanted to keep me safe. The way his eyes were holding me felt like my inner child being cradled in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
Silence filled the air between us, he was waiting for my response, but I found myself unable to utter a single word. A deep sigh escaped my lips, and I ran my hands through my hair, searching for the right words.
"I honestly don't know; I'll do my best not to be a burden to you," my answer sounded like a whisper. In that moment, reality slapped me across the face. Staying with him was the issue.
"Burden? Are you serious right now?" he responded, disappointment coloring his voice, as if he thought, "Is this how you know me?"
No.
"I'm sorry, it's just-" He raised his hand to stop me. "It's all good, really" he reassured me with a smile, but his expression turned serious in a matter of seconds. I could feel the energy thickening between us; he was getting furious, a familiar look when he wanted to protect me.
"Why did you act like everything was fine with you?"
Not gonna lie, I've never seen Taehyung this serious, even though we've been friends for a long time; this was the first time.
"I wasn't ready to dump all of my problems on you."
He looked dissatisfied with my answer, more like it made him angrier. Honestly, I don't know why I hid it from him. Maybe, for once, I wanted to pretend that I was fine. Taehyung's eyes narrowed, and he furrowed his eyebrows.
"You know I could help," he asserted, his tone was a mix of frustration and genuine care. As the words left his lips, there was a fleeting moment of his gaze softening. But still, I couldn't shake the knowing of how I just hurt him with keeping him in the dark.
"I should've told you way before; I'm sorry." Even though I apologized multiple times, it felt like it wasn't enough. Telling him everything beforehand would have made a big difference. But now that I've shared it with Taehyung, the weight that was pulling me down all along has been lifted from my chest.
"We should get your stuff, or else you'll rot in those clothes," he attempted to inject a bit of humor and lighten the mood, pointing at my clothes from yesterday.
"Yeah, you're right," I replied, resting my head in my hands. Something was holding me back, once again. I didn't want to go back there, not ever, because I knew memories would hit me like a truck. In the past, I used to care about others' opinions of me, but now I really don't mind whether they see me as a runaway "kid" or not. Even though I can run but never hide from my family line, because I still carry the same pair of his eyes. I do find it strange, only thing we share is a one last name.
"I know you don't want to go back there, but we have to." It was like he read my mind, and he was right. At least I wouldn't be alone, right?
I nodded in agreement, and as we settled the bill for our coffee, we exited the café. I can't help but think I should return; perhaps it's the comforting ambiance of this place or simply the presence of Taehyung.
*After car ride*
At first glance, it may appear to be an ordinary house, where a small family resides but, in my eyes, it radiates a sense of loneliness. I guess he's not home, as is often the case. Hope he won't show up, and I can handle everything without him causing another scene. It stings a little that he didn't try to find me; he simply let me go. Does he still hold any love for me? I doubt it now; he's become an entirely different person.
"You alright? we've been standing here for about 5 minutes" Taehyung whined.
"Yeah, right. Sorry, let's go." Returning to reality, I finally opened the door. It creaked, and the sound echoed through the empty house. As expected, it was empty, and a wave of relief washed over me as we walked into the living room.
"I'll go upstairs; can you wait here?" I looked at him with pleading eyes, knowing Taehyung; he would follow.
"Don't you need help for packing?" he still asked.
"I'll manage the packing; I'll call you for help later" I assured, leaving him in the living room.
Walking into my room, my go-to place for some alone time, a mix of emotions hit me. The familiar space, usually comforting, now triggered a hint of tears. I took a deep breath, trying to push away the overwhelming feelings, and began sorting through my drawers.
As I packed, each item held memories that weighed a bit heavy, but I kept going until I came across my old diary.
Flipping through the pages, memories from my past days came rushing back. The words I wrote when I was younger captured my dreams, fears, and moments I had almost forgotten. Each page held a piece of who I used to be, and as I read, it hurts even more. It felt as though I had been raising myself all along, never experiencing a mother's touch or love, nor a father's. Even the school years seemed like one extended journey; the friends I made there vanished after graduation, leaving me alone until I met Taehyung in college.
Finishing up my packing in the room, I felt a mix of relief and sadness. Looking around, it seemed even emptier now. Memories hung in the air, and the quiet felt heavier. Giving it one last glance, I closed the door behind me.
"Taehyung?!" I gasped, not expecting him to be there.
"What? I couldn't just sit there, so I was going to check up on you." He flashed a goofy smile and promptly took the bags from my hands.
I returned the weak smile, trailing behind him as we came downstairs, stealing one last glance at everything around me. Leaving the place, I grew up in wasn't easy, but at least for a while, I wanted to.
As Taehyung loaded everything into the car, I lingered inside. Something on the floor grabbed my attention, triggering memories of the night when my dad was in a rage, tossing things around. It seemed he hadn't bothered to clean up some of the aftermath. A bitter laugh escaped me. Once, this house was filled with warm nights, but now, it's as if those moments never happened.
"Aren't you coming?" he called out from outside.
"Yeah, yeah, coming!" I quickened my pace, finally locking the door as it was when I arrived, and hopped into Taehyung's car.
"You be zoning out like there is no tomorrow, Nina," Taehyung, being Taehyung, kept teasing me.
"I wonder why" I teased back.
"Don't worry, you'll be safe with me" he reassured me, not breaking his gaze from the road.
I wanted to say something, but the ringing of the phone stopped me in my tracks; it was Taehyung's phone. As he answered, his expression shifted into a frown. The only sentence he said was, "okay, got it." I hoped everything was alright with him. Before I could even ask, he turned his face toward me, and it still showed discomfort.
"It was my friend," he paused, still searching for words. "We planned this for a long time, and finally, we got the chance to do it."
"Taehyung, can you get straight to the point?" I chuckled, seeing him try to explain things without being too direct.
"We planned to go camping for a couple of days," he finally spilled the beans. I raised my eyebrow, teasing him and pretending to be mad for a moment.
"You should've seen your face just now," I said, lightly hitting his arm.
"It's not funny, Nina. I don't want to leave you alone right now." he made a frowning face again, giving me a side-eye, which only made me laugh even more.
"Hey! It's alright, okay? I won't be completely alone?" I tried to assure him.
"Yeah, but still," he mused, still overthinking whether he would go or not, I didn't want to hold him back just because I was going through something right now.
"Give me your room then," I teased.
"It was yours all along," he rolled his eyes.
We spent the entire car ride teasing and joking with each other, which bought the memories from our earlier college days.
The first time I met Taehyung was in the first year of college. He stood out as a popular guy, known for his good sense of fashion and lots of friends. His alluring and charming aura drew the attention of everyone, particularly the girls. I always assumed he was a bit arrogant, given all the attention he received. That's why I never actively sought to cross paths with him until the universe decided a group project was the perfect excuse to bring us together.
Initially, I didn't pay that much of an attention to him—not because I was trying to catch his eye or anything of the sort. It was more about the impression I had of him. At first, he seemed like a very private person. However, my assumption that he was arrogant due to his popularity turned out to be untrue.
I got to know him better when others decided to ditch us for no reason, leaving us to do everything on our own. But with the project looming, I took the initiative, trying to break the ice and get him to open up a bit. That's when I discovered a little more about him. Turns out, Taehyung was just like any other regular student at the university.
Despite being overall intelligent, it was clear that university wasn't his true passion, it bore him. While he maintained decent grades, he wasn't struggling academically. Instead, he simply desired to experience life outside of university. That's when I really connected with him because same. It seemed like I had to do all this academic stuff because I was obligated to, but thanks to him, it didn't feel as burdensome, especially now that we're in our last semester.
***
With bags scattered across the floor, I caught Heeseung looking at us, his eyes widening in a surprise. I think he didn't know much since he randomly met me last night. Taehyung mentioned him just once, saying he was getting a roommate, so it was my first time seeing him too.
Everything happened so fast that we couldn't introduce ourselves normally. He scratched the back of his head, attempting to say something. I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea, thinking I'm one of Taehyung's girls or something, not sure if they're close enough to share things like this.
"Taehyung what are those?" he finally asked, his eyes shifting to Taehyung.
"Uh, she will stay here with us for a while, if you don't mind" he grinned, taking my bags into his room.
"I couldn't introduce myself normally yesterday, I'm Nina" I said with an awkward smile, "Taehyung's close friend" I added.
"Yeah, it was kinda messy yesterday" he quipped, "Nice to officially meet you, Nina."
"Hoping I won't be too much of a bother for you," I attempted to strike up a conversation with him. After all, I had to spend some time with him.
He shook his head with a smile, signaling a "no." I just noticed he looked a lot like his brother but had a completely different vibe. Heeseung seemed like a chill and friendly guy, and he also appeared to be younger than his brother.
Then what was he doing here? Is he also a college student? He didn't seem like one. All these questions popped up in my head. Why do I suddenly seem so interested?
"All set, you can use my room however you want," Taehyung's sudden voice brought me back to reality.
"Are you going somewhere?" Heeseung chimed in.
"Yeah, I'll tell you later," Taehyung signaled for me to go into his room. I nodded and left them in the living room.
Entering his room, I suddenly realized how tired I was from everything today. The jumble of emotions had worn me out, and all I wanted was to sleep for hours. Unfortunately, sleep wouldn't unpack my bags. It was almost 6 p.m., so I had to pull myself together.
After unpacking some of my clothes, I changed into grey sweatpants and a green hoodie, instantly feeling much more comfortable than before.
"Can I come in?" I heard Taehyung's muffled voice behind the closed door.
"Of course, you can. It's your room, dummy." I wondered why, after all this time, he was still single. He would be the perfect boyfriend for any girl. He always respected me, one of the traits I adore in him.
"So, I'll grab some things, and I need to head out already," he said, his face adopting a sad expression.
"Hey, you're worried again?" I crossed my arms, scanning his face.
"Promise I'll be back soon," he remarked, starting to roam around his room to gather his stuff for camping and pack everything together.
"Taehyung, it's not like you're leaving for years, chill," I teased. "I'll be alright."
"You better?!" he pointed a finger at me, raising one of his eyebrows.
"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes as I sat down on his bed, watching him get ready.
"I'm done," he turned around, showing me his backpack, which was already packed up.
***
Slowly opening my eyes, realization dawned that I had fallen asleep after Taehyung left. In that moment, a sense of loneliness washed all over me, again; he wasn't here. The idea of leaving his room felt little awkward with his roommate, even though we were the same age. However, I can't stay here forever, right?
Getting up slowly, I felt my stomach grumble. "Damn, I've been hungry the whole day," realization hit me as I mumbled to myself.
After turning on the lights, I took a moment to check myself in the mirror. My hair was all over the place, and my eyes seemed a bit puffy from the nap. I fixed myself up a bit by brushing my hair and tying it up. Glancing around, I noticed the room was still a mess with bags and clothes scattered randomly. Deciding it was time for a little cleanup, I tidied up a bit before leaving the room to grab something to eat.
Exiting the room with a yawn, I saw Heeseung sitting on the couch, engrossed in a game on his phone, completely unaware of my presence. Clearing my throat slightly to grab his attention, he finally looks up.
"Oh, you're awake" he greeted.
"How long have I been out?" I asked, still feeling a bit disoriented.
"Hmm, about 2 hours?" he replied, sounding a bit unsure.
"Damn, I must've been really tired...aren't you hungry?" He hummed in response, lost in thought, and then his eyes lit up with a sudden idea.
"Actually, instead of eating, why don't we go out?" Heeseung was looking at me as if he wanted me to say yes already without asking questions, but I still did.
"Right now? I don't think I can manage" I started to slowly reject his offer, because all I wanted was to eat - no time for drinking since I'm guessing he meant drinking somewhere.
"C'mon couple of drinks won't hurt...also college break is ending soon" he whined as he kept persuading me.
"Nah, not really in the mood for drinking," I shake my head as a sign of refusal.
Heeseung frowned, getting up and pushing me toward Taehyung's room. "YOU WILL COME! Go get ready," leaving me with no choice. I had to.
As I stood there, I couldn't help but think that night out wouldn't hurt. Letting myself get loose sounded appealing, but thought of getting ready made me sigh.
"Move your ass Nina, you need this!" I motivate myself, trying to find something to wear suddenly, I came across a black long-sleeved dress, and the back of it was quite revealing. It was simple yet pretty and not too extravagant, just how I wanted.
As for accessories, I paired some silver jewelry with a black bag. For makeup, I decided to go with my usual glam look—brown lipliner and lip-gloss combo, along with some mascara and eyeliner. For final touches, loose waves cascaded over my half-naked shoulders, and I slipped into sleek black leather knee-high boots.
In the middle of May, the weather wasn't too cold, but I opted for a baggy leather jacket before finally leaving the room. Heeseung was already ready waiting for me, not going to lie he was really good looking.
"What a glow-up from the hoodies and sweats," he joked, as he was checking my outfit.
"Are we going or should I change my mind?" rolling my eyes at his comment, I ended up teasing him in the end.
"I'm just teasing. Ready for a night out?" he chuckled, and I trailed behind him as we headed for the exit of the apartment.
***
To my surprise, we ended up at the same bar where I was two days ago, "Glisten Grove." This time, a different kind of music filled the bar, and every kind of people surrounded it, talking and smoking outside. I even felt some eyes on me, but I didn't pay too much attention as I followed Heeseung.
His eyes darted around the bar, searching for someone, and finally, he stopped. Following his gaze, I noticed the same blonde-haired bartender mixing up some drinks. Heeseung's eyes changed, revealing admiration as he watched her.
Looks like someone has a crush.
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Hey guys !!
Sorry if it took me a while to update, i will try my best to update once or twice in a week :)
Leave comments i really wanna know if you're enjoying it so far <33
-sinfulkth