*edited*
It had only been a few minutes. Although it's felt like hours. The doors were blown open. A rush of red threw each of them back. Lilith walked in going straight for Magnus.
"No," I muttered.
"You," She held her hand up to me. Her other went to Magnus as he lifted off the floor choked by her power.
"Kill me, but spare the others," He grimaced. I moved closer to her the glamour on my weapons unveiling themselves.
"Lena, stop moving," She muttered and I did. "If I didn't fear starting a war with your father I would kill you. No one is going to stop me from bringing my son back." She let him go. Magnus's body fell to the ground and he passed out.
"You." She came closer and closer to me until we were face to face. Her eyes moved up and down my body. "I can sense you know the feeling of loss. Loss of those you care for. Loss of your child." She touched my cheek as I clenched my jaw. "I just want my boy back. I am his protector. He was just a boy. A boy with no protector until he found me." She smiled. "I will do anything to bring him back. I need Jace."
"Just take me instead. Let Jace go," I muttered. She tapped my cheek with her long fingernail.
"I would, but I can't. Jace is the reason he is dead. He must suffer. He is also quite the efficient owl. Out of love and respect for my boy, I will not touch you." She stepped back as she destroyed the chains on Jace's wrists.
"You have power, Lena. Use it. Don't let it go. Everything has been taken from you since you were young. I can help protect you. You can finally be protected." She reached her hand out to me.
My eyes moved to Alec and Isabelle. They wanted Jace back. Alec was going to do anything to get him back. Isabelle would sacrifice herself to get Jace back. I took her hand as we went back to her townhouse. She rested Jace's head on the pillow as she turned to look at me with a smile.
"We will be a happy family, Lena. You will see." She stood up and came close to me embracing me. "You are similar you and I." She ran her fingers through my hair. "Relax my dear."
"Jonathan," I said. "Does he care for Clary in the same way he cares for me?" She clasped her hands in front of her stomach as she blinked.
"No," She admitted.
Then she walked away into the other room seeing Jace still passed out on the couch. I stood above him with my arms crossed.
"Jace Herondale if you hear me," I whispered. "I swear I will get you out. You won't suffer forever. I'm here with you."
***
Jace had killed the group members that had taken Simon's sire. I was behind on a lot of things apparently. Like the rogue fledgling. Also a new downworld order or something. Simon had a new roommate named, Kyle, maybe? I didn't know.
I was wandering around Lilith's building. She wouldn't tell me where Jonathan was, but I didn't ask either. I wouldn't ask. She follows me and if it's not her she sends Ollie to stalk me as I move around the building.
"Lilith?" I came out onto the balcony. She looked at me. Her face relaxed. "Why does it hurt you to touch me?" She stood up tall and turned to me.
"Why do you want to know?"
"I'm curious," I looked down at the cars far below us. "I've never really understood what I was or who I was my entire life. I've always been told. I was an addict, I was a demon, I was a hunter, I was a tool, I was a monster, a murderer. I've never truly known what I was."
"For that, I am sorry my child," She gave me a tight smile. Her hands reached forward as she touched my face. "You are special." I could feel the heat between our skin. "Your father made you a demon, but you were born a saint." I stared at her. Poetic, again. "You have the blood of the angels. That is what makes you special."
"Yes, but so does Jace and Clary," I explained. "Jace died that day at Lake Lynn as well, why am I not affected like him?"
"The angels raised you both," Lilith explained as she took her hand back rubbing her fingertips against her palm. "You've always had a strong connection to them."
"But why?"
"They pity you," She muttered. "They see that even being in this realm you will never get the same amount of love you pour out to everyone else. You are the first to give yourself up and you will be the last anyone tries to save." The words buried themselves in my bones.
"A few would."
I don't know why I was trying to defend them. I knew she was right and that's okay. I'm not an easy person to love, I never have been and I never will be.
"Your sister brought Jace back instead of you," She said. "What kind of a family is that?" I looked back down at the ground. The rush of leaning over the edge tore into my stomach.
"He's the love of her life," I breathed.
"Are you saying you would have done the same thing?" I let out a long breath.
"I wouldn't have brought anyone I cared for," I admitted. "No one would have been in that situation."
"That's because you refuse to let anyone else get hurt for you, to get hurt trying to save you," She reasoned. "And that is why they've pitied you."
"Must be a lot of pity if they've allowed me back twice," I shook my head.
"That boy," She muttered. "Alec. You love him?" I didn't answer her. "You love them all and that is your downfall."
"You love Jonathan," I shot back. She nodded.
"He is the one thing I never thought I would have. A child. A son," She looked out at the city as well. "Thanks to your father and his mischievous little mind I was able to have one. Jonathan. My precious boy," She looked down at the rings on her fingers. "He's the person I would sacrifice the world for. Is there one single person that you would sacrifice the world for?" She met my eyes.
"I can think of a few." Alec. Magnus. Isabelle. Clary. Luke. Jace. She nodded her head.
"The more you care for the more you are in danger of becoming something they will despise. Love is what turns people into monsters good or bad." She explained. "I learned that from my ex-husband." She pushed off the balcony and moved back inside.
"Where are we going?" Jonathan pulled my hand.
"Keep moving. I want to show you something," He gripped it tighter as I started to fall behind. We got to a tree in the woods and he started to climb. I stared at him from the bottom.
"Come on Sissy." He laughed. I smiled and moved after him.
My hands were rough and calloused from the weapons I'd mastered in the last few months. Well not mastered. I was able to use them efficiently. I climbed up after him making sure my footing was secure. We were getting higher and higher until the tree was so thin it swayed as we gripped the trunk.
"Look," He pointed.
I looked to my left seeing we were above the canopy of the woods. I could see out far. I could see the hills and the different green of the trees. The break in the trees. The buildings were out in the far distance.
"Wow," I smiled as I leaned forward.
The tree dipping slightly made my stomach drop, but I just laughed and looked down. We were extremely high up. If I fell it would hurt. Kill me even if I landed right. The adrenaline rushed through me as it pounded in my head.
"I love heights," Jonathan admitted. I looked over seeing him look out at the world that he hadn't gotten to see.
I moved back inside seeing Ollie standing near the door as she watched me. Her eyes were always wide. Even when she was normal her eyes were wide like she was constantly taking everything in.
"Lena." Clary?
"Clary," I said. Jocelyn came in behind her. A hand on her little shoulder. Magnus stood behind me as we both stared at one another. We were both older. I was ten now. I'd been away from both of them for a few years.
"Lena," Clary's chin wobbled as she looked at me. She went to move forward, but Jocelyn held her still.
"Magnus," Jocelyn warned. "Has she been showing any signs?"
"No," Magnus assured her. "Bean has been perfection this entire time. I told you that already."
"I still want their memories wiped. She can't know those things and Clary is seeing more and more every day. I can't let him have her," Jocelyn put her other hand on Clary's shoulder as we both stared at one another.
She was my twin, but we were strangers. I didn't know who was standing in front of me. Her red hair was lighter than before. She had freckles on her face. Her little sunburned cheeks.
"He won't find them. Jocelyn, you made sure of that when you—." Magnus stopped talking as his hand tightened on my shoulder. "Let's leave the twins for a moment. So we can talk privately."
"I can't leave Clary with it," She muttered. Her eyes were glossy as she glanced down at me.
"She is your daughter, Jocelyn," Magnus said.
"She was my daughter, whatever Valentine did to her killed my little girl."
"Mom," Clary sobbed. "It's Lena. It's Lena."
"Jocelyn, please," Magnus walked into another room. Clary came forward touching my hair first.
"Your hair," She breathed. It was darker than hers. She grabbed my wrist her little hands wrapping around it. "Lena, where have you been? Mom said you went somewhere."
"I did," I nodded. She gave me a big hug.
"I didn't know if I would be able to see you again," She sobbed. I could feel my shirt get damp from her tears. I didn't cry. I couldn't. He told me not to cry. "I'm so happy you're okay."
"I'm happy to see you too Clary," I hugged her back. I'd hoped for a moment like this for days, weeks, months. "I missed my twin."
"My other half," Clary said. I took a deep breath smelling her strawberry shampoo. She still used the same one as the day I left. "I'm so sorry."
"Me too."
Jocelyn was yelling from the other room. Her muffled words still make it to my ears. She didn't trust me anymore. I wasn't her daughter anymore.
I pulled my stele from my pocket walking back out onto the balcony and I sent Alec a fire message. 'I can save him. He'll be back to you soon, trust me.'
***
"I've sent Jace out on a certain mission," Lilith added.
"The final preparation for raising Jonathan?" I asked. She turned around giving me a small smile.
"Yes," She said. "Yes. It's going to be a wonderful time. You will see, it's justice." She reached forward tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
"Do you know when he will be back?" I asked. She walked past the others as they all watched me.
"In due time, Lena. Go lay down. I can tell you're tired," She said. I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head.
"I'm not," I lied.
I have been using my stamina rune to keep myself awake. I was afraid that if I fell asleep she would be able to get into my head before I was able to save Jace.
"Lena, come with me. I want to introduce you to some of my friends," Clary grabbed my hand as we moved onto the playground.
It was two girls and three boys. They were sitting around with their lunches out. Clary sat down next to them. A few said hello to her as I sat behind her a little bit.
"This is my twin sister, Lena," Clary introduced. The girls gave me a tight smile.
"Why does she look like that?" One of the boys laughed.
"Sam," Clary snapped. They all just laughed and leaned together muttering something about me. "Stop! Be nice."
"If this is your twin sister, then where has she been?" One of the girls asked as I stared at each of them.
"She's been with relatives," Clary explained.
Jocelyn and Magnus told us to tell people that so that. It wasn't a lie, but it was. I wasn't sent there. Well, technically I was. From what I've heard Mom say to Magnus at least and Dot. The new warlock that she had with her. Dot didn't like me very much.
"In where, Alaska?" One of the boys laughed.
"Jake that's enough, seriously stop," Clary defended. I was happy my sister was sticking up for me.
"Or what your going to kick me Fray, you aren't going to do anything." He rolled his eyes.
I watched Clary look down at her food clearly upset with his words. I stood up next to the group of boys they all laughed.
"Oh, the twins gonna do something," One of them laughed.
I gave them a tight smile as I grabbed the boy closest to me and punched him. Once. twice. I heard the crack of his nose as it started gushing blood. Screaming that's what I heard.
From the girls. Screaming coming from Clary. From the other boys. I grabbed the other's ankles yanking him back to me as he screamed.
"No! Help me!"
"Never speak to my sister like that," I twisted his arm popping it out of socket as he cried. I could hear yelling all around me. Everywhere. They didn't understand.
"Lena!" I was yanked back. The red on my hands and the boy's face drew my attention.
A woman's face appeared in front of mine. Her mouth moved, but I couldn't hear. They grabbed my arm dragging me back toward the school. As I was being moved I saw a glimpse of Clary with the others.
She was crying and when I looked at her she hid with her friends. She was scared of me. Maybe even ashamed. I did this for her. I was protecting her.
"Here he comes," Lilith smiled.
She walked through locked doors where I saw the coffin that Jonathan had been lying in. It seemed like a small greenhouse. He was burned and covered in blood.
"My precious boy." She ran her hand along the edge. There was movement from the other side as Jace shoved Clary into the room.
"Lena?" She said. She was wearing a red jumpsuit. I looked at Jace confused as to why he was in gear too.
"You went to Alicante?" I asked and Jace gave a tight nod.
"The prodigal sister has arrived," Lilith turned to Clary. "The family resemblance is striking." She looked from me to Jonathan and to Clary.
"To tell the truth, I just don't see it." Clary gave her a smirk.
"You're a sassy one, aren't you?" Lilith said.
"Sorry for the delay, my queen," Jace bowed his head moving his hands forward. "Valentine essence." He offered her a small jar.
"All that matters is that we have everything necessary to begin," Lilith grabbed the jar from Jace's hands and sprinkled it on top of the blood. It stayed and then slowly sank down taking its place in the vat of blood.
"My owl is going to need his energy." She turned around slowly walking to Jace as she kissed him. The two of them made out as she passed demonic energy to him. Clary looked at them disgusted and then looked at me.
"Thank you, my queen," Jace said. His expression was blank.
"Leave," She turned around facing Jonathan once more. I went to go with him, but she grabbed my arm.
"You may not leave, Lena. I want you to see this." She faced Clary. "Anger isn't a good look on you. Neither are those clothes," She raised her hand as one of her servants came forward. "Get her cleaned up and into a change of clothes for her brother's rebirth." She instructed. "Perhaps something blue." Clary furrowed her brows.
"That's what your kind wear when something lost returns, right?" Clary or Jace. Clary or Jace. This was my decision now. I could save Jace, but I didn't know what she was going to do to Clary. Clary came back in with a blue top on.
"Raising Jonathan from the dead. Is he really worth all this murder?" Clary asked. I stared at the floor. She should already know the answer.
"The things we do for our children. Besides, the mundanes killed by my disciples will do far more in death than they ever would do in life." Lilith moved toward her.
"And yet, you need me alive?" Clary asked. Her eyes going to me. "How does that work? You can't exactly just borrow my heart."
"Oh, I'm afraid that is exactly what it's like. But the heart isn't what you think," Lilith smiled as she reached out for Clary's hair. "Jonathan needs to share your life force in order to breathe. So I might hold him once more"
"Why didn't you choose me for that?" I asked. She looked at me over her shoulder.
"I was considering binding my two children, but it risks you both being murdered by the others." She pressed her hand to her chest. "Losing Jonathan. Hearing him call for me with his final breath, was the single most painful moment of my very long life."
"You say that like you loved him," Clary said.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Demons aren't capable of love," Clary justified. I looked past her seeing Jace standing stiffly his hand behind his back waiting for instruction.
"A failing of frail human imagination. Demons live. We die. We feed. We lay. Why wouldn't we love like you?" Lilith slowly walked around Clary. "I need to care for Jonathan like you and your father never did."
"If there is one thing that Valentine and I can agree on, it's the fact that the world would be a much better place with a monster like Jonathan dead and buried," Clary got closer to Lilith.
Too close. She was getting cocky. Lilith slapped her. Her other hand flew toward the fireplace as the fire pokers wrapped around Clary's wrists and ankles.
"My son is not a monster," Lilith seethed. She walked into the other room her hand caressing the stone.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Clary asked. I looked at her.
"Just shut up and stop being sassy," I said. The elevator opened and Ollie walked in with a little more pace than usual.
"The fire alarm was triggered downstairs. The mundanes are evacuating the building."
"There is no fire," Jace muttered.
"Luke Garaway is leading a strike team from the institution," Ollie added.
"Is the day lighter with them?" Lilith asked. She came forward quickly. She was worried about Simon. The day lighter. She feared him.
"Why do you care about Simon?" Clary asked.
"Keep them away from my boy. Stay away from the vampire, and kill the rest." Lilith instructed. I watched as everyone left the room. Lilith moved into the other room. I had a bad feeling about this. I moved closer to Clary.
"I think I can save Jace," I said. She stared at me for a long moment.
"Go." She mouthed.
I looked back at Lilith before moving out with the others. I didn't know where Jace went, but when I stepped into the hall I realized. The shattered glass was a dead giveaway. I leaned out seeing two bodies on the ground.
Jace's blonde hair was the only thing visible to me. I jumped feeling the air whip around me as I landed groaning at the shock through my body. Jace looked back at me. He moved off the body.
"Alec." An arrow stuck out of his chest. He was breathing, but starting to struggle.
"What are you doing?" Jace snapped. I moved forward without hesitation as she came toward me swinging. I evaded him until I grabbed his face as he let out a scream. His skin sizzled under my touch. "Get off!"
"Jace," I watched his eyes turn white. "You've gotta come back, Jace. You have to fight through Lilith."
We both fell back. I kept my grip on his face feeling his grip on my arms loosen as his body relaxed. His veins glowed brightly under his skin as a black ooze started to come from his mouth and nose as he coughed. Jace turned over and vomited up the black ooze. It disappears into the air. He faded in and out between the owl and Jace. He screamed as he fought through it.
"Alec!" I ran toward him. He was struggling to breathe. His hands were on the wound. "Hey. Hey." My eyes watered. "Stay with me. Stay with me." His body was blurry until I blinked. The tears fell as he grabbed my hand. His body shuddered as he coughed a little. "You're okay. You're okay."
"I knew you had it under control," He smiled. I touched his face trying not to cry as I smiled.
"Yeah, maybe you should trust me a little bit more," I smiled. The tears made it hard to see. This wasn't happening.
"Alec. Alec." Jace crawled over taking his other hand.
"You'll be okay." I pressed my forehead to his letting out a shaky breath.
"You'll be okay," He repeated my words back to me, but I shook my head.
"Lena, can you do something?" Jace asked. "Anything." I shook my head.
"They won't let me," I cried. My hands pressed onto his wound, but nothing was happening. "Please, please." I looked up to the sky. To the angels. Silent prayers were repeated in my mind. I can't lose him.
"Jace," Alec muttered. "It wasn't you." Jace grabbed his stele trying to heal him. "It wasn't you."
"I've got him," I said. Jace took several deep breaths looking around. "I've got him." Jace nodded his eyes glowing.
"I'm going after Clary." He pressed his hand to Alec's chest before running back toward the building.
"Thank you," Alec muttered.
"Don't thank me," I shook my head. "I should have been able to do that from the start." I pressed my hand to his chest making him groan a little. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Don't," He tried to take my hand off his chest, but he didn't have the strength.
"No. You can't die. I won't let you die," I cried. "I can't lose you. I can't—you can't leave me." I ground my teeth as I drew on whatever angelic force was inside of me as I forced my essence into Alec. My palm heated as I put it over his chest. "Please. Please."
"Linny—."
"Alec I won't live without you. I love Isabelle more than anything, but without you, I can't do it." I admitted. My eyes were shut tightly. If I didn't look it wouldn't happen. My body was drained of energy.
"Lena stop," Alec's chest shuddered. I shook my head as I yanked the arrow free pressing both of my hands down.
"I love you," My voice broke as his jaw clenched. "I won't let you leave me." Alec's eyes closed.
I let out a pained scream. I couldn't save him. I could save him. I leaned forward my hands gripping his jacket as I cried. I could feel his heartbeat. It was fast. I sat up quickly my hands cupping his cheeks as my visions blurred.
"I love you. I love you, Alexander." I kissed him briefly before my world tilted. The ground met me with open arms.