I put my hand to Victorias wrist stopping her as she puts powder on my face, I turn away sneezing causing her to scoff and both Arabella and Lili begin laughing.
I turn back to her and she looks at me before rolling her eyes.
"You done?"
"Mmhm." I smile nodding at her.
"Can you curl hair, Lil?" Victoria calls Lili, who turns around from the mirror as she finishes putting her earring in. I hold back my laughter at the nickname. I know something most likely nobody else knows.
"Um, yes, I can. I can get started on her hair—"
"Perfect, do that please." Victoria lifts my chin putting lipstick on my lips.
"You look so pretty." I mumble to Arabella, Victoria sighs pulling the lipstick away from my lips. Arabella's wearing a dark silky purple dress, it has long puffy sleeves, it's tighter at her waist, really showing the curves of her body. The neckline is a V type just like mine but lower, it doesn't actually show off much but it's works perfectly either way. She looks perfect.
"Thank you, Diana, you look beautiful too, sweetheart. Now, I'm not too sure about what I should do with my hair." Arabella says. Lili brushes my hair while leaving the curler to heat up.
"Straighten it." Victoria says, pulling away and looking through her makeup bag.
"No, don't. Your curls look really really pretty, they put your outfit together perfectly, Bella." I tell her and she looks at me before to the mirror she's standing in front of.
She looks to Victoria and I do too as she looks down at me. Lili begins curling my hair.
"Just a suggestion. I mean your hair is beautiful and natural, why change something that's perfect already." I shrug a little.
"What other suggestion do you have?" Victoria asks, looking through her makeup bag again.
"A gold necklace maybe, maybe with green diamonds on it or add something green to the outfit, you're wearing mostly purple and while it's perfect already something a little dark green would be the cherry on top." I smile and Victoria keeps looking at me.
"Bella, could you actually do that?" Victoria asks and Arabella nods. I keep smiling, proud of myself. I think I'm making a good impression...well second impression.
"We still have about two hours, I'm sure I can figure it out." Arabella smiles before winking at me making me smile too.
She leaves the hotel room and Victoria puts something on my cheeks. Lili brushes through my hair again before she begins curling it.
My phone vibrates on my lap, I pick it up looking at it while Victoria grabs something from her bag, Natalie sent a photo. Why did she send a photo...it's not...why would she send that.
Why does my mind go to the worse case? She's mad at me, I doubt she's sent what I think she has.
Victoria moves closer again and I drop my phone, I'll check it in a minute.
We texted each other goodnight and that we love each other last night. I sent her a photo of me in bed with Benji, I may have pull the tank top Victoria bought down a little for the photo—but nothing was showing! I was full clothed, just teasing the slightest.
✺
I got bored during the show.
Okay, that's terrible. Some of the outfits were pretty...but what are we calling fashion today? Some of the outfits did not look like outfits, Arabella and Victoria spent most of it whispering to each other. Everyone around me looked bored out of their minds.
Lili and I began laughing at one outfit, okay maybe I am terrible but it wasn't nice. Maybe I wouldn't admit it aloud but it was just...a pass in my opinion. Victoria did glare at us a few times...
It wasn't on for too long surprisingly, maybe fifty minutes which was surprising but it did feel a little longer. Maybe like five hours longer?
"Victoria Lennon." A man speaks up, walking over to Victoria who fixes her suit. She scoffs a little before plastering a small smile on her face. Victoria has a very beautiful smile, I stalked her instagram a little last night—and Lilis just to see. Natalie has liked a few of them, mostly ones from years ago where she commented calling Victoria beautiful and Victoria replied with a kissy emoji. I really hope Natalie doesn't have the same past with Victoria as she seems to have with Elisabeth...
Lilis instagram is funny—she doesn't have one serious picture and all her captions are silly too. Most of her pictures are of her with her tongue out or eyes crossed.
"Angelo. What a pleasant surprise." Victoria holds out her hand but he goes in for a full hug, I glance to Lili who rolls her eyes.
"Oo, he's hugging your woman." I whisper, elbowing her and she begins smiling, pushing my arm away.
"Shut up, she's not my woman." She looks away rolling her eyes. Something about her—her body language when I say it...reminds me a little of Charlie. I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking and searching for something that's not there.
"Mmhm?" I hum looking at her, she looks at me before shaking her head.
"Who are these beautiful ladies?" Angelo looks at us, he looks like...a creepy old man. Okay, that's rude. But I'm not wrong. He's at least fifty. I'm being nice.
"Diana Cooper, my fashion directors assistant and Lilith Jones, my assistant." Victoria says motioning to us. I smile a little and his eyes linger on me. Oh god. I smile wider, I'm a nice person. I don't need to give him a nasty look or anything—I've been around Natalie too much and that's why it even crossed my mind. I wish she was here.
"Listen, Angelo, we better—"
"You should get this one on the runway, very petite." He says, looking at me. I furrow my eyebrows looking to Lili who looks at me weirdly. What does that even mean, I mean I know what it means but it's weird. Lilis smaller than me, she's much more beautiful. He hasn't even seen me walk—I could not model, I can't walk in a straight line sober and stumble over my own feet at least once three times a week...if I'm lucky.
"Diana, you were looking for a drink?" Arabella questions, stepping closer to me and I look to her nodding.
"We better—"
"If you won't have her as a model, than I will. How old are you?" He asks me laughing and I look at him, I swallow a lump growing in my throat as my face heats up. Why do I never have good experiences with old men, seriously.
"Twenty." I say quietly and he leans closer to me.
"Very innocent look." His hand goes to chin and Victoria steps past Arabella, slapping his hand away even making me flinch.
"Do not touch her. She's not interested, leave her alone. Go find somebody else, you fool." Victoria tells him, Arabella's hand goes to my shoulder leading me away.
"Who was that?" I look to her.
"A creep, in nice terms." She shakes her head.
"He's so old." Lili says, pretending to gag and I laugh a little glancing back at Victoria who looks angry with him now. She turns around, walking towards us.
Her hand goes to my back as she gets closer.
"Are you okay? He's a fucking..." Victoria trails of and I nod.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." I say and she looks at me.
"Natalie will kill me for that." Victoria smiles and I laugh. Oh she definitely would. Speaking of her, I want to call...talk to her, I mean Benji was just a cute thing she done but I don't know if it means she wants to talk. I got to look at the photo on the way here and it was of the sky, early today when the moon was out, she took a photo for me. She knows I love the moon.
"I must go talk to some people now, go around, have some drinks. Stay away from anyone trying to..recruit you. If you have a problem, walk away and find me." Victoria speaks, me and Lili both nod.
"Are you okay to stay with Lili?" Arabella questions and I nod smiling.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." I smile and she nods before walking away with Victoria.
"We should leave, we're in the city and there's plenty of stores around. On me." Lili smiles and I look at her before smiling too.
"Okay, let's go." We both start giggling as we head for the exit.
✺
"Great to know that I cannot leave the assistants alone for five minutes without them being accused of robbing? Do you know how bad of a look that is for the company? What if somebody finds out about this, huh? 'Victoria Lennon can't keep her employees in order' will be plastered everywhere!" Victoria raises her voice at both me and Lili, we didn't steal. We really didn't, we just got accused of stealing a pair of sunglasses.
I mean...I forgot they were on—I mean if I was trying to steal them why would I wear them leaving the store?
We got some drinks at a bar...that's why I forgot they were on, I had some drinks...which I wasn't supposed to have because drinking is not so good for me right now.
"Sorry, Vicky." Lili mumbles and I begin giggling as we walk down the hall.
"Both of you go to your rooms, I want a word with you both in the morning." Victoria says, walking past us both.
Arabella carries a bag with whatever I bought, I don't even feel too drunk, I can walk fine but I just got giddy.
She takes the hotel key from my hand.
"Do you know how much trouble I can get in for your actions?" Arabella whispers to me and I look to her.
"I'm sorry." I say quietly and ashamed as she shakes her head, she opens my hotel room door.
"Call me in a few, Di." Lili raises her voice, I walk into the room and over to my bed immediately.
"Text me if you need anything, please, behave for tonight." Arabella says and I lift my hand in the air giving her a thumbs up, she sets my hotel key down on the beside table and the Chanel purse Victoria gave me beside me before leaving the room.
I yawn, rubbing the corner of my eye realising I still have false lashes on. I search for my phone. I grab the Chanel bag, I open it pulling out my phone.
I unlock it before deciding to impulsively FaceTime a certain someone without a second thought about it...
It rings for a few seconds and I turn over on the bed, I groan kicking off my heels before she answers.
I see her face and smile, she's wet—not in that way, she's in a towel, I can see the droplets on her shoulder and her hair is wrapped up in a towel as she looks down at her phone.
"Hi, pretty girl." I say and she looks weirdly at me through the phone.
"Are you drunk?" She questions immediately, less harsh than she's been the last few days. Maybe I need to drink more often.
"Are you naked?" I smile raising my eyebrows.
"Isn't it obvious?" She sets her phone down, I cant see her anymore.
"Hey...I can't see." I say and I hear a sigh.
"Drunk calling me isn't the best idea, Diana."
"Stop Dianaing me, call me darling in that sexy tone you do. Darling." I mock her as I smile, leaning my chin on my palm.
"What sexy tone are you talking about?" She questions, her voice flat. She sounds uninterested in what I'm saying...great.
I pick up my phone walking to the bathroom.
"Don't act clueless."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"The tone you use to whisper into my ear during sex." I say, trying to set my phone up against the mirror, she doesn't respond right away. She's probably drying herself off.
My phone falls and I set it up again before stepping back from the camera making sure she can see all my top half.
"Do you think I look pretty?" I do a little spin and she picks up her phone, I almost stumble but catch myself.
"You do, now what do you need?" She asks, her tone of voice back to annoyed. She might as well say she hates me at this point. But...I'm a little drunk, just a little maybe and I want to talk to my fiancée.
"Nothing. Answer what I said."
"I did, you look beautiful—divine even."
"The other thing. Call me darling in that tone you do." I groan dropping my shoulders, she puts her phone back down and I huff.
"It's late."
"Mmhm, and what have you been up to the last two days you've been without me?"
"Nothing, I went to work today that's it." She sighs, she sets the phone up against the wall, letting me see her in the towel.
"I guess you don't want to hear about a guy I met today?" I ask looking at phone, she puts some moisturiser on her face as she looks at me through the phone.
"Talk."
"Nothing really—actually...just a really old guy came over calling me petite and innocent looking—it was gross—"
"Who?"
"I don't know, but it made me feel sick. If only my protective fiancée wasn't so mad, maybe she could have been there to save the day." I smile and her hands go to the bathroom sink.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah—"
"Did he do anything else?"
"Nope, Victoria slapped him away and all the women came to my rescue." I smile pushing my hands along the counter.
"Diana."
"Mmhm?"
"Tell me about who you're planning to fuck tonight, why don't you?" She hums and I bite my lip looking at my phone.
"Take the towel off and I just might." I say and she looks at her phone.
"You need to go to sleep—"
"No—wait! Don't hang up on me. Please. I just want to talk, I'm drunk—pity me, Baby." I plead and again, she lets out a small sigh. She goes back to putting stuff on her face.
I watch her, taking in what I can since I miss her, I miss her smile...even if it's just been a few days, I miss her love.
"You know if we broke up—would you move houses?" I ask and she furrows her eyebrows rubbing more stuff into her face. I can get her in a good mood—especially when I'm drunk because I'm much more confident.
"Why would I move house because of a breakup?"
"Because we've had sex all over that house, the kitchen...the living room...the bedroom...you ate me out on that countertop your phone is set up on—not too long ago either." I say, crossing my legs as she drops her hands from her face sighing as she looks down at said counter. She stares at it for a moment before clearing her throat.
"I've had sex with Olivia in this house too."
"And has she once made you come like I have?" I lean closer to the phone whispering before I giggle a little, Natalie hums running her hand through her wet hair.
"What are you doing, Diana?" She questions and I chew my lip.
"Has Olivia used the strap on you?" I ask.
"Why are you such a horny drunk?"
"Has she?"
"Why does it matter?" She questions and I shrug.
"I'm curious."
"She has, why, are you jealous?"
"Yeah—because I know you've probably used it on her too. Maybe she was better..." I huff and Natalie fixes her towel.
"She was not better."
"Really?"
"Really."
"What makes me different?"
"You know how to fuck a woman, happy?" She looks at me through the phone and I smile.
"Very...Did you ever touch yourself to the thought of me?" I ask and she sighs dropping her head.
"Diana—"
"Did you in the shower? Your cheeks are all red." I lean my elbows on the counter.
"Am I not allowed to pleasure myself? That's a shame, I had my vibrator on the bed ready to fuck myself." She jokes and I smile.
"You should use it, I know from your book about me, the kind of fantasy's you have about us. Remember I helped you with one." I whisper and she looks at the counter again, tapping it.
"Sue me for having 'fantasies'." She laughs.
"I'll do other things." I smile and she smiles—she smiles at me talking. She actually cracks a smile—god I've missed it.
"What other things?"
"I want to fuck you." I say and she snorts.
"Don't you always want to do that—"
"You rarely let me—Your moans drive me insane, baby—when you whimper I swear I could come from hearing it alone." I mumble and she fixes her towel, tapping the counter with her finger quickly.
"God, if that man who called you innocent could hear you now, what would he think of you?"
"I don't care what anyone thinks about me except for you. Besides, he would never hear me say that, nobody would but you. You're the only person I want to touch, your moans are the only ones I want to hear. You're the only person who I want say this stuff to." I tell her, crossing my legs tightly.
"Diana."
"Remember when you came along my tongue while I hid underneath your desk? You came so good, baby. Do you think that was innocent of me?" I ask and I watch her hand shutting as she looks down at the counter.
"When I handcuffed you to the bed not so long ago, your moans—your begging for me not to stop eating your—"
"Stop." She says.
"Touch yourself—"
"No, I won't. Not when you're drunk, go to bed, Diana. I mean it. We will...talk about this when you come home." She says picking up her phone.
"Can you at least call me darling before you hang up on me?" I ask and she looks at me through the phone.
"I love you. Goodnight, darling." She says.
"I love you, baby." I say before she hangs up. I pick up my phone turning it off before dropping it down on the counter. I drop my head for a second, she called me darling. She called me darling again—that's something.
I take off my dress, it's a tight dress, thin straps so I couldn't wear a bra since I didn't have a strapless one with me...I didn't feel comfortable asking about one.
Her calling me darling is a good sign. Really good sign.
I walk out of the bathroom and over to the closet, I bend down to my bag, pulling out Natalie's hoodie to wear to sleep. I pick out a pair of my pyjama shorts that I packed too.
I put on the hoodie and my shorts. I fold my dress picking up the box it was in, I carefully put it in before closing the box again.
I put everything back in the closet before closing the door.
I go back to the bathroom huffing, I look at my phone, I want to call her again. I mean that call wasn't necessarily bad, it's the most we've talked in days...she said she wants to talk more when I'm home. That's a good thing. I just hope she doesn't look at me like she did the night before I left.
I open the under sink cabinet getting out a face cloth. I shut the door with my knee.
I turn on the tap, letting the cold water run as I pull the false eyelashes off my eyes with a slight wince.
I took photos with me and Lili, I put them on my instagram hoping for Natalie to see—Victoria took me and Arabella's photo too so I have a photo with her now. Then someone took a photo of all of us—I'm not sure who. There's was too many people there which made me really nervous.
I wet the face cloth with cold water before I begin to wipe the makeup off of my face. I yawn a little, scrubbing around my eyes to make sure to get rid of any eyelash glue and eyeliner.
I scrub my whole face then my lips. I put down the cloth noticing my lips are slightly stained red, smudged around my lips too.
I wet the cloth some more before scrubbing my lips some more, I hate makeup sometimes—removing it mostly, especially when I'm drunk.
I hear knocking at the hotel door, who is it now?
I put down the cloth walking out of the bathroom and across the room.
I pull open the door to see Lili with a bunch of candy in her hands and a lollipop in her mouth. I furrow my eyebrows.
I step aside for her and she walks to the bed dropping everything quickly.
"Sleepover?" She turns to me and I look at her.
A sleepover? To do what?
"Sure?" I say shutting the door.
"Great, you're in your pyjamas already." She says and I look over her long sleeved pink pyjama set, she got unready too. Her hairs in a plait now.
"I think these TVs have some movies on them, what do you like?" She walks over to the tv, picking up the remote as she turns it on.
"Anything, really. I have to bring this back to Victoria." I pick up the purse Victoria let me borrow as I look at her.
"I'll stay here, you go." She says. I nod awkwardly, slipping into my heels since they're the only thing around. I grab the hotel key from the beside table before leaving.
I walk down the hall, almost stumbling in my heels, I knock at the door lightly before stepping back.
The door gets pulled open and Victoria looks at me, she looks me up and down.
"Yes?"
"I have your purse, oh your earrings they're still in." I hand her the purse before taking the pearl earrings out of my ears.
"Keep those, nice gift for you." She says and I nod a little.
"Okay, thank you, Miss Lennon." I say and she nods shutting the door, I stay there for a second...that was a little rude.
I walk back down the hall to my hotel room, over the last two days I have really grown close with Lili. At least with her I don't have to worry about her trying to kiss me since she's sleeping with our boss.
But I do think I'm a little homesick—I just feel out of place here. I really want to go home to Natalie but when I do she's not going to wrap me in her arms and kissed me too many times to count—and tell me how much she has missed me. After that call, maybe there's a chance but she's always too sweet when I'm drunk.
I rub my head with my closed hand before sliding the hotel key into the door, I hear the beep before opening the door.
I step inside letting the door shut behind me, I walk over to the bedside table dropping the key and earrings down.
I reach back into my hair undoing the bow that holds back half of my wavy hair. It feels weird, usually my hair is always straight.
My hairs so long, I've wanted it cut for a while now, it's grown out since high school. I liked it short and at my shoulders, it felt more like me. But I guess I've changed since high school.
I walk around the bed sitting down as I watch Lili standing in front of the Tv looking through movies. I pick up Benji looking down at him.
"We're gonna watch last Christmas, Christmas passed but it doesn't matter." She clicks into the movie, she turns walking over to bed sitting down.
I look to the floor as she begins talking, I zone out bringing my legs to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.
Why am I suddenly feeling homesick? I don't know what it is actually, is it homesick? I don't know. I really don't know, maybe it's just the alcohol hitting me.
"Diana." Lili says and I glance to her as she touches my knees, I hug my legs tighter.
She pulls her hand away as she sits up looking at me weirdly.
"Are you okay?" She asks and I shrug resting my chin on my knee.
"Do you not want...is this because I have a thing with Victoria? Oh—Im sorry, I didn't make sure you're okay with sleeping in the same bed as someone who likes women. I didn't know you were like that." She gets up off the bed quickly, I furrow my eyebrows looking at her confused, what is she talking about?
"I'm not going to like touch you in your sleep—not that you were thinking that but...I don't like you like that, if you don't want to share the bed I can take the couch or I can just go to my room. Just because I like women doesn't mean I like you." She goes on, talking quickly. I stretch my legs out looking at her as I let out a breath. I set Benji down beside me.
Does she think I'm straight?..
I kind of stare at her confused.
"The ring—oh my god, you're engaged. Your fiancé isn't comfortable with it, is he?" She questions, I go to speak but she starts again.
"Are you homophobic?" She asks and I look at her offended now.
"Lili, I'm a lesbian." I say and she drops her shoulders.
"Oh...That's great, not great like that—Stop being so full of yourself, I don't want you." She holds up her hand to me, I can't help it, I start laughing as the weird feeling in my stomach slowly begins to go away.
She crosses her arms looking around the room while I keep giggling, I fall back still laughing.
I put my hands on my stomach.
"I thought you were homophobic, you bitch. I was going to throw a lollipop at you." She pushes the candy off the bed laying down beside me, I try to breathe but I keep laughing—more wheezing..I know my face is going bright red because of this. Maybe I am more than a little bit drunk.
I try to take steady breaths as I begin to get a pain in my stomach from the laughing, I take a big breath in coughing a little.
"Dramatic much?" She asks and I let out a slow shaky breath.
"You thought I was...I'm literally engaged to a woman." I snort, I block my face and she scoffs.
"How was I supposed to know? I don't have a gaydar that everyone seems to have." She says, I glance to her for a second.
"You remind me of my best friend." I cough a little and she furrows her eyebrows tilting her head to me.
"Wow, you have shitty friends, girl."
"Shut up, no, he was the best. You two have the same sense of humour, your personalities too." I push her arm a little and she keeps looking at me. I stop laughing as I keep looking at her.
"He was?"
"Yeah...His name was Charlie, the best man I've ever met honestly. You really would have liked him, I've known you for two days and I know that if you met him and me at a time, the three of us would probably be really close." I say and she blinks at me.
"What happened to him?" She leans up onto her elbow, I turn my head, looking at the ceiling. It's okay.
"We got in a crash, two months ago tomorrow—"
"And you're here? This got depressing so fast."
"I know but I have to let the butterflies guide me. I have to go on with my life and back to reality because that's just the joys of life...I'm just hoping his spirit is on this stupid journey with me if heaven and stuff exists, maybe he's watching down on me." I shrug staring at the ceiling while the movie plays in the background.
"Heaven does exist, he's definitely watching you—every moment so you better not be up to freaky shit because he's watching." She pokes me and I look to Lili as she smiles at me.
"How come you're not saying sorry? Saying I don't deserve any of it?" I smile a little lifting my legs to my chest while I look at her.
"Because, while I am sorry...You've heard it over and over, it most likely means nothing to you now." She gets off the bed taking the lollipop stick out of her mouth.
I go back to looking at the ceiling. She's right, anytime I tell someone now I know exactly what they're going to say. I didn't expect Lili to say what she did, it actually meant something. She didn't say she thinks anything, she just told me how it is, that he is watching over me and—it makes it feel somewhat real. It makes feel the slightest bit better, like there's a chance a piece of Charlie hasn't completely left.
I just hope his eyes are closed for some of it.
"Was he buried or cremated?" She asks me, jumping back down on the bed, talking to me so...normally, not softly or anything—just like Charlie would talk to me about my parents. It makes me feel so much more comfortable.
"Buried." I say but my voice comes out quietly, I realise my eyes have teared up.
"Sorry." I wipe my eyes. My cheeks heat up, getting embarrassed since I can never seem to stop crying recently. It's becoming exhausting.
"Shut up, don't be sorry for crying. I cry all the time about stupid shit. You have a reason to cry, so do it." She elbows me and I laugh a little, wiping more tears.
"I want to hug you really badly." I say, she smiles jumping on top of me, I wince a little before wrapping my arms around her.
"You're pretty when you cry, please do it more." She whisper and I start laughing more. She squeezes me rubbing my shoulders.
"Thank you." I say and she pulls back shaking her head as she looks down at me, wiping a few tears away for me.
"I really hope your fiancée is okay with this because I don't want her to hate me before even meeting me." She says and I smile blinking down tears away.
"She's going to hate you for this so much." I laugh and she drops her head.
"Fuck." She lifts her head before she starts laughing too.
We keep laughing, to the point Victoria has to come down the hall knocking and telling us to shut up because of the noise we're making. But for awhile, laying and laughing with Lili makes me feel that same feeling in my tummy similar to the one I felt around Charlie. Charlie would love Lili, I just wish he was here to meet her.
I wish I could give him one more hug and tell him everything's okay because I don't know what he felt that day, and in some way I'm grateful I woke up in the hospital because if I woke up in the car...I don't know what I would have seen or what I would have done.
A/n
I'm being very active with my posting because I actually have chapters written so I suppose that's amazing for you all. I think I'm about nine chapters ahead and honestly I think I'm not too many chapters away from writing the final one. (I'm not ready.)
But, I do like the ending I'm going with, don't assume it's happy because it could very possibly be devastating. I love tragic endings...but I won't say anymore on that.
I have actually mostly been writing from Diana's point of view because Natalie is being an asshole and I'm a nice person so I can't get into her mind for now..
I will most likely be posting one more chapter before Christmas, maybe Christmas eve or something.
After the amazing news about my English teacher leaving, I got devastating news, she's being replaced by a man. Stay at this point. (I'm joking, I'm grateful for the existence of men.)
Anyway, as always, have a fantastic rest of the week!!!