EMMALINE LEILA WARNER
"Hey, dad," I said when I saw dad in the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a bottle of water.
"Hey, sweetheart," he smiled, "you've been in your room all day since you came back from school."
"Homework," I shrugged, taking a seat on the stool in front of the counter. He nodded, but his expression shifted to question as he looked at me, "what?"
"Are you sure you want Kai to be your boyfriend?" He tilted his head and I rolled my eyes.
"Yes, dad," I groaned, "you asked me this like a hundred times already."
"I mean a Kishimoto?" He sighed, "seriously? What do you even like about him? I've known him since he was born, and I have to tell you, he's not really worth it."
"Dad!" I snapped, "stop that. You know he's worth it, plus, what did he ever do to you? He's always been great and nice to me—"
"I don't like this sentence," he said flatly with a slight shake of his head.
"He's not just nice!" I fired back, "he actually told me I deserved more than just nice," I smiled to myself then looked up at him frowning to himself, then a deep line between his eyebrows appeared, making me scoff, "what? It's not that bad."
"Ella?" Dad asked, ignoring me and looking at the staircase behind me as I followed his gaze to mum coming down, holding her phone to her ear, "are you okay, love?"
He rounded the counter and mum looked up at him, slowly lowering the phone, "Aaron..."
"What is it, love? What's wrong?" He grabbed her shoulders, and I felt my hear start to go faster. What's happening?
"The academy..." she whispered, shaking her head before looking back at him, "it's... someone..."
"Calm down, sweetheart," his hand went to the side of her face, "what is it?"
"Someone bombed the academy."
What did she just say? The academy? the academy that I go to almost everyday? The academy that— Kai. Kai is there.
"Kai," I whispered, hopping off of the stool, "Kai was there. Where is he?"
"Kenji called him," Mum said, "he said he's supposed to be safe right now."
"Supposed to?" I couldn't breathe, "what do you mean? Is he okay? Did he call him back?"
"I... I don't know," she let out softly.
"Where are you going?" Dad asked when I headed to the front door.
"I'm going to him," I grabbed my shoes. I was already in a t shirt and sweatpants, "I have to make sure he's okay."
"We're all going," Mum said, "Kenji and Nazeera are on their way there too."
He's okay. He's okay. He's going to be fine. He's probably on the phone with Kenji right now. He's okay.
I repeat those words over and over again until we reached the academy. I could see from the window of our car, see the building with flames coming out of its windows and doors, fire pouring out of its cracks and holes. A crowd of people were gathered around the building, watching. Before the car even fully stoped, I was opening the door, running towards the academy.
I could hear the crackling of the fire, and I saw the panicked faces of the people around me, some crying and some trying to help others.
I didn't care.
"Kai!" I cupped my mouth my hands, yelling at the top of my lungs, "kai!"
"Kai!" I heard my mum shout, "Kai, where are you?"
"Hey," I grabbed a girl's shoulder, "have you seen Kai?"
"No," she replied with a shaky voice. I recognized her, I saw her talking to Kai a few times, Gia, "I saw him helping others, but I ran out and didn't see him since."
"No," I whispered to myself, shaking my head and turning around, "Kai!"
"Hey," I heard Dad to my side, asking people about him too. I got my phone out, dialing his number, but I always ended up with a dead end, no answer.
"Kai! Kai!" Naz's voice came from behind me. She was crying, her hands shaking as she shouted and looked around. Kenji by her side, with his phone in his hand, probably calling Kai too. I wanted to cry, to fall on the ground, but not yet. Not ever. You'll find him.
"Kai!" I repeat his name, over and over until I felt my throat hurt, until my voice wouldn't come out and whispered to myself, "please, no."
I allowed my voice to crack then, my eyes to water.
You'll be fine without me, it's just three hours.
This can't be the last time I see him. It just can't. I tried to breath, hearing my sobs and not being able to stop until I heard a piercing scream. A very loud pained cry that made my ears ring. I turned to see Naz on the ground, Kenji holding onto her as she sobbed, with Ivan standing in front of them, blinking. Mum and Dad running towards her as I did the same.
"Emma," I heard Ivan say once I stoped.
"What? What happened? Where's Kai?" I asked in a breathy voice, feeling my tears fall down my cheeks.
"I saw him go inside, said he was looking for someone," he stepped closer to me, "but he never came out."
No.
I shook my head, taking a step back and looking at the crumbling building behind Ivan. No, this can't be happening.
You'll be fine without me.
This is what I told him last, that he'll be okay. He'll be fine. He'll come back and spend time with me because we finally can. Because we just told everyone that we're dating. This can't be the last time I see him.
"Kai," Naz whispered, before her voice became clearer, higher as she shook in Kenji's arms, "my son. My son! Kai... kenji, no, please no! Please! Ebni! He has to be okay, betrajak, ebni!"
I looked at Kenji, seeing his expression blank, his hands just gripping Naz's arm and staring on the ground until Naz pushed his hands away, that's when he looked at her, "Naz, what—"
"I'm going to him," she sniffed, getting up, "I'll get him out of there."
She moved but Dad grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back, "Nazeera—"
"Let me go!" She yelled, but he only held her tighter, "Warner, I said let me go!"
"You'll die in there," Dad simply said, "you—"
A sound of an explosion cut him off, making me gasp and look up in time to see a part of the building crumbling down before I was quickly pulled back, my face slamming into someone's chest as he held my head to him, so I wouldn't see, but I heard. I heard the sound of bricks falling on each other, I heard Naz's screams as they got louder, I heard people's cries next to me. I felt like I was going to die, going to lose my mind. I didn't even have the guts to admit what's happening. I couldn't.
You will never see him again.
I wanted to scream, but I didn't have the energy to do that anymore. I wanted to run to him, but I could barely stand on my own. All I could do was cry into what I thought was Kenji's arms. This shouldn't have been how it went down, today couldn't have been the last time I see Kai.
Hey, sunshine.
I don't like it when we fight.
Did I do something wrong?
Emmaline, I'd tear my own heart in a half before it falls for a heart that isn't yours.
I'm in love with you, Emmaline.
You have no idea how proud I'll be.
His voice wouldn't leave my head, as if he's standing next to me. But he wasn't. I hated myself for every second I spent being angry at him, hated how every good memory is going to haunt me now. I can't live like this, I can't live without him. I wouldn't make it. I squeezed my eyes shut and begged whoever was there to listen to me, to please make him walk out of there.
Kai? We are written in the stars.
He can't leave me alone. His light couldn't go off now, not yet, not as long as I lived and breathed. I would fall apart, I'd never survive this.
"This is not happening," I heard Mum's voice coming from afar, "I won't let this happen."
I sniffed and felt Kenji's grip on my head lighten so I could look back. I saw mum walking towards the building until Dad called after her, "Ella?"
"I'll be right back," she said without even glancing back, and we watched as she stood in front of the entrance that was now blocked by a wall of bricks. She froze for what felt like 5 seconds before fisting her hand and slamming into the surface, the wall crumbling on instant as she quickly disappeared inside.
Naz stopped fighting Dad, and I felt Kenji's hand squeeze mine as we waited. And waited. I held my breath, I couldn't even think anymore, everytime I tried to calm down my mind grew blank. I heard doors closing to my side and looked to James, Zade, and Jett getting out of James's car.
"Kenji," James whispered as he ran towards us, "what happened? Where's J and Kai?"
I looked up at Kenji who just gazed from James to the academy and stayed there.
"What?" Jett gasped and gripped Zade's hand as he pulled her to him.
I toned everything around me out as I held into Kenji's arm to keep from falling because I couldn't even feel my legs anymore, if it wasn't for Kenji I would have been on the ground by now. Be okay. Be okay. Be okay.
After what felt like forever, I saw a glimpse of a shadow appearing from inside.
"Mum," I whispered when I saw her figure become clearer, carrying someone in her arms. Someone, Kai. I was about to run to them when a part of the wall that was stable crumbled down, "No!"
I pushed out of Kenji's grip and forced my brain to work again, focusing my power on holding the brick wall in the air before it fell on them. I felt sharp pain in my mind, a headache as if someone just slammed a hammer on my head and held onto my temple, falling to my knees. I never used my powers to move massive objects before, never thought I'd need it. The brick wall fell farther, almost hitting them, before it stopped again, my powers fighting against gravity.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed my own, as another grabbed my shoulder, squeezing before I saw the brick wall lift up and move out of Mum's way and on the ground as she walked out. Looking up, I saw Dad narrowing his eyes in Mum's direction before he turned his head to me, "it's okay, love."
"Dad," I breathed and let my body relax against him, my head banging.
"It will all be okay," he hugged me into him as Mum came closer. Her face had dust on it, her hair already messed up, but other than that she was fine. I looked down at Kai in her arms, and my heart almost dropped. Blood. Blood all over his dusty face. His eyes and mouth were closed, his head falling backwards. Scars now were all over his arms, blood staining against his skin. He looked like there was no life left in him. Nothing.
"Is he..." Kenji asked, stepping closer, his eyes pinned on Kai.
"He's alive," Mum whispered, "but his pulse is so slow. We need to get him to a hospital right now."
Alive. He's alive. He's breathing.
"I'll call Sonya and Sara," Kenji said, taking his eyes off of Kai and going for his phone just when Naz ran towards Mum.
"Kai," she whispered, her hands holding his face up, "Kai, hey. Can you hear me, habibi? Kai?"
"Nazeera," Kenji said, putting his phone down and placing a hand on her shoulder, "he'll be alright. Sonya and Sara will meet us at the hospital."
Naz nodded after a while, her fingers brushing against Kai's cheeks before she let go of him. Dad and Kenji took Kai out Mum's arms, Naz slamming herself into Mum on instant.
"Thank you," I heard her whispering, "thank you so much."
"He'll be alright," Mum repeated and tightened her arms around her, "trust me. Let's just get him to the hospital until Sonya and Sara come."
Naz nodded and let go, walking towards the car, and I felt James stand next to me, "James, I want to go with them. Please. Please, let's go with them, I don't want to leave."
"Okay," he held me to him, walking us towards his car, "let's follow them with my car, alright?"
I nodded, brushing against Zade and Jett who just followed us in silence, nobody talked again. I couldn't hear anything anyway. Just the sound of my heart thudding against my chest, the sound of my sniffs as I tried to breath while tears streamed down my face.
Kai must have been in so much pain, he must have been terrified. He helped people out, Gia told me, but he couldn't make it in time. How could he do this? How could he do this to me? To his parents? Who was he even looking for? Why couldn't he just save himself? It wasn't his job to save others. I didn't want anyone hurt, but I didn't want him hurt. Please, be okay.
x-x-x-x-x-x
I couldn't even close my eyes for one second. Kai was with the doctors inside, Sonya and Sara with them too. I didn't know what was going on, they said they needed to be alone with him. Naz insisted that she had to stay, though, so they only let her be. I didn't even have the energy to fight them when they forced me out, sat me down outside next to Kenji and Dad, waiting.
When we got here, Uncle Adam and Aunt Alia were already at the hospital, waiting for us. James went to get us some water and Mum said she'll go check on what Sonya and Sara are doing. I couldn't even think of anything, just stared at my feet tapping the floor, waiting for Kai's door to open while Dad and Kenji talked to my right, probably thinking I wasn't even listening to them.
"I almost lost him," Kenji whispered, "I almost lost my kid."
"You will not lose him," Dad said after a moment, "Sonya and Sara know what they're doing. They saved all of us at least twice. He will be alright."
He's going to be alright, Emma.
"I just stood there," I heard Kenji's voice higher an octave, angry, "I stood there like an idiot and watched as the damn building burned down on him. I didn't do anything—"
"What would you have done?" Dad cut him off, "what happened happened when we weren't even there to help yet. Ella was the only one who actually had the power to help, if you had tried you would have just died in there, that would have been the idiotic thing to do."
"This can't happen again," I sensed Kenji lean back beside me, "because I don't even care how, but I will find whoever was responsible for this. I don't care why they did it, my son almost died because of it."
"We'll find them," Dad replied, "every one who had a hand in it. Because whoever did that, was targeting us. Kai just happened to take the fall, and I will not allow that to happen again because next time it could be worse. We'll find them."
Next time? Why? Why would people do that to us?
I waited for Kenji to say something back, but he fell quiet, I could only hear the song punds of doctors moving around faraway until Dad spoked again, "don't worry too much, he'll make it. The Kishimotos are very hard to get rid of, trust me, I've tried it myself."
This caused Kenji to huff out a laugh, it was short and obviously not full of any feeling, but it was something. I didn't look up though, just tapped my foot against the concrete. 1...2...3...4...5 waiting for anyone to tell me that Kai's okay. That he'll live. I didn't allow my mind to wonder anywhere else. Only the hope of Kai being okay and counting when I'll hear this news.
"Emma," the sound of my name made my foot stop mid air. No, leave me alone. I don't want to think again.
"Yeah?" I asked still looking at the floor in a voice I couldn't even recognize, so low and raspy from crying.
"Emma, please, love," Dad's hand came to my shoulder, staying there as if waiting for me to respond to the gesture. To snap to reality again. I only tapped the floor again. 6...7...8...9...10, "at least drink some water, you haven't put anything in your mouth for hours."
He extended his hand holding the water bottle in front of my face, hiding my feet from view. I looked up in front of me seeing James and Kenji talking. Oh, I didn't even hear James come in. Kenji ran a hand through his hair, and James pulled him in a hug on instant, making him freeze for a second before he hugged him back.
James and Kenji always had something that nobody really understood. To me, it felt like James was more of Kai's older brother than 'uncle' since Kenji treated him like one, like his other son. It got stuck in my mind that way, Kenji loved James, acted as if he was the brother Kai doesn't have. I remember when I was younger, when James was younger, how Kenji would treat him, how he'd be there for him in good and bad news, how he was a huge part of how James was able to finally move on when he was in a really bad place after a break up with his girlfriend. James was now returning the favor, I guess.
I looked down and saw Dad's grip tightening on the bottle, sighing and taking it, just holding it. My mouth was dry and my throat burned, but I still didn't have the appetite to even drink water, "thanks."
"Emmaline, I know this might be a lot to ask," Dad started again, "but when Kai wakes up, do you really want him to see you like this?"
When Kai wakes up. He's going to wake up. That turned my head to finally look at Dad, being met with the reflection of my eyes on his face. Sometimes when I looked at him, I saw me. Our eyes were the same, the same shape, the same sharp green color, the same looks we give in different situations, but now, this was not what I saw. Because while Dad's eyes were obviously exhausted, I was sure that mine were nothing like him now, sure that the white in his eyes was replaced with swollen red color in mine. I could feel my eyes burn from crying, but I couldn't stop them from tearing up again, the world turning blurry again. He wouldn't get it, wouldn't understand how hard it's going to be for me to pull myself together for Kai's sake. I can't. I can't.
"I understand you, sweetheart," Dad placed a hand on mine that was still holding the bottle, tightening my hold on it when I realized he knew what I'm feeling, "I'll always understand you."
"Because you can sense my emotions," I nodded more to myself than to him, I didn't want to fight right now, I didn't want to be more alone, but I couldn't stop the words form coming out of my mouth, "not because you understand what I'm feeling. You don't know— you don't understand how I'm feeling because you're not the one feeling it, Dad."
You're not like me, I wanted to tell him. You're not like any of us. If Kenji was the one in that hospital bed right now, I would have been crying my eyes out too, but Dad wouldn't. He'd just sit there, like he is doing right now, even when this was his friend. I don't know what he's feeling most of the times. The only times I'm sure of what he's feeling is when he's with Mum or me sometimes when we have a serious conversation. He won't understand.
I saw his jaw clench, his hand squeeze mine before he said slowly, "I'm just worried about you."
Oh, no. I closed my eyes to block away the way he looked at me, like I hurt him, he never shows that to anyone, but I know the look, I see it when I throw a fit at him sometimes, and he just takes it calmly, never yells at me, never makes me feel bad even when I end up feeling guilty anyway. I couldn't do this right now, I told you leave me alone. I sighed and opened my eyes again, putting my other hand on top of his, "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean it like that, I know you're worried, I'm just... he was all alone, Dad."
I shook my head lightly, looking down and seeing my teardrops fall on our hands before looking up, putting my thoughts into audible words, hearing my voice crack, "he was alone, nobody was there with him. Not even Zade. It was just him, and... he must have been so scared. I'm just wondering, what was he thinking about before it happened? Was he thinking he wanted to be home? He wanted to say sorry to Naz for arguing with her? Did he think he was going to die? Was he thinking about happy or sad memories?"
Was he thinking about me? I knew Dad didn't have an answer to any of that, I didn't even want answers. I just wanted him to be alright. I wanted to be there for him, I hoped that anyone was there with him because he must have felt so alone and terrified. I hated that feeling, I knew that feeling, but what happened to him was more than I could ever know. He didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve any of it. Being alone. Being scared. Almost dying. Why is he not waking up yet?
I felt a hand go to the back of my head, brushing against my hair and blinked, snapping back to reality just in time to be pulled in Dad's chest, my hand going to my mouth to control the sobs that busted out of me again. I was so sick of crying, so sick of not having anything to do to help. When Kai was hurting, I was in my room, happy and not having a care in the world. When Kai was stuck in a crumbling building, I was doing nothing but freaking out about where he is. When Kai was between life and death right now, I was pathetically crying as if this was going to change anything.
I felt Dad's grip tighten as he soothed in a calm voice, "don't do that to yourself, Emmaline. Please, there was nothing you could have done."
I shook my head, tasting the salty water as my tears touched my lips, "but... but he's..."
"Hey," he leaned back, both his hands holding the sides of my head, his eyes pinned on mine, serious and focused, "listen to me carefully. You couldn't have done anything to change what happened. Even if you were with him, would that have stopped the explosion? Would that have stopped him from having the urge to help people? No, sweetheart, it would have just made worse, because you would have been in that room with him right now. Do you think he would have been okay with that?"
He paused, waiting for me to answer, but I couldn't even open my mouth, just shook my head as an answer to his last question, his expression loosing a little as he continued, "all you can do to help him right now is to be there for him when he wakes up. To be strong enough to take care of him, okay? I'm not telling you to change how you feel or to not feel bad about what's happening, but please, love, don't rip yourself apart like that. Nobody would want that for you. Not me or your mother, and also not Kai. Do we have a deal, sweetheart?"
Be strong for him. Be there for him. Kai asked you to help him out, so help him out. In every way you can.
"Okay," I heard myself say with a nod after a moment, "okay, deal."
The corners of his mouth curved up slightly but I couldn't really return the smile, his fingers wiping away the tears on my face just as we heard Kai's room door open, Mum, Sonya, and Sara coming out of it, making me hold my breath.
Kenji and James quickly stepped forward, Kenji speaking first, "how is he? What happened? Is he going to be okay?"
"Kenji," Mum put a hand on his arm to calm him down, motioning for him to hear Sonya and Sara first until he nodded.
"The doctors had already stopped the bleeding when we arrived," Sara started.
"But he seemed to have hit his head pretty hard because he was internally bleeding," Sonya continued her statement.
"Internal— what?" Kenji jerked his head, and I felt my heart miss a beat. Internally bleeding.
"Don't worry, the doctors were already working on stopping it."
"We just made the healing process faster. He's absolutely fine now."
"So he woke up?" I sniffed, leaning out of Dad's grip but still not being able to hold myself up from my seat.
They turned their heads to me, and I didn't need to hear their answer based on the expression on their faces.
"Not yet. As Sonya said, Kai hit his head hard, that's something we can't help with."
"How long it will take for him to wake up is up to him now."
"What do you mean?" Kenji asked.
"We mean that it might take him hours or days—"
"Or weeks."
"What?" Dad blurted out just when Kenji and I opened our mouths, "what kind of injury would make him unconscious for weeks?"
"The kind where he flies from the ground until he slams into a wall due to an explosion," Sara clarified.
"He had broken bones too, obviously. But don't worry, we mended them all. We also healed almost all the scars he had."
"Almost?" It was my turn to ask now, "what do you mean almost?"
"Kai had cuts all over his skin," Sonya said, "some were just on the surface and some were deep. We healed both of these cases."
"But some were just so deep, our powers wouldn't be able to completely heal them. He stopped the bleeding and closed the wound, yes."
"But unfortunately the scars up his left arm are still there. Everything else is completely wiped as if nothing happened though."
He is alive. That's all that matters, Emma. It's okay, he'll be okay.
"Thank you," Mum said softly, smiling at the twins, "you should rest, you've helped a lot. Adam and Alia are bringing us food, they should be here any second."
"Wait, can we go in now?" James asked after they smiled at Mum and were about to turn.
"Yeah," they both said, "Nazeera is already in their, but please try to be quiet. It may trouble him if you're loud and noisy around him."
"Okay," James nodded and looked at Kenji, talking lowly, "I'll wait for you inside."
Kenji nodded as the twins turned to find a seat. They did seem exhausted because they practically threw themselves on the chairs, Sonya resting her head on Sara's shoulder who just tilted her head back against the wall.
"J," my eyes went to Kenji's voice as he sighed the nickname before he quickly grabbed Mum's shoulder, pulling her into a hug, his hands rubbing up and down her upper back, "thank you."
"Don't say that," her voice came out muffled against his shirt as her arms came around his back, "you would have done the same for Emma. If not more."
"You saved him, J," Kenji replied, leaning back with his hands still on her shoulders, "I owe you my life, princess."
She smiled up at him, "you don't need to owe me anything, certainly not your life. If you insist though, think about dropping that thing you've been holding against me for twenty years."
She hissed out the last sentence, and James and I gave her a confused look, but Kenji just smiled, "don't get ahead of yourself, princess."
"What are they talking about?" I whispered to Dad, but he just shook his head.
"I have no clue whatsoever. All I know is that your mother is furious, embarrassed, and at ease with Kenji all at the same time."
"And Kenji?"
"Kenji is just Kenji," he shrugged, "an unwashed idiot who I am going to make him pay for making my wife angry or embarrassed about something."
"You know we can hear you, right?" Kenji asked, jerking his head to us, "plus, my son is literally in the hospital right now, have a heart."
"As unbelievable as is it sounds, problem is not with your son right now," Dad crossed his arms, "it's with you, that part is believable though."
"Kenji," the somewhat familiar voice called from our far right, and I heard footsteps before I turned my head, seeing... Castle?, "I came as soon as I could."
"Castle," Kenji said, almost in relief, moving towards him before they slammed into each other's embrace, "you made it."
"Of course, kid," Castle smiled as he leaned back, "how is he now?"
"Sonya and Sara just reassured us everything's okay. He's sleeping. They... they don't know when he'll wake up."
"He'll wake up," Castle put a hand on Kenji's shoulder, "you always pulled that stunt on me, and I would lose my mind, remember? Your son is just paying you back."
Kenji huffed out a laugh and Castle looked at Mum as she extended her hand to him with a smile, "the others wanted to come too, but I told them I should check with you guys first. Wouldn't want to cause trouble—"
"It's no trouble at all," Mum said, "they said Kai should be resting and shouldn't really be surrounded by much crowd, so they can visit us once we make sure Kai is really okay, right, Kenji?"
"Yeah," Kenji smiled after freezing for a second, "yeah, yeah. They can come anytime."
I sighed and put the untouched water bottle down, I didn't want to be here anymore, I was here to be with one person only, standing up and walking towards Kai's room, whispering to whoever was listening, "I'll check up on him."
I took a deep breath and opened the door, my eyes falling on James whose head turned to me. I put my hand up as if waving at him and looked at Naz on a chair next to Kai's bed, one hand holding Kai's as the other brushed his hair out of his forehead softly.
"Hey," James whispered, "how are you now?"
"Better," I didn't know if I really was or if I was just lying. I'm better knowing he's alive, that he'll make it. But I still felt horrible, tired, drained.
"He seems alright," James said in a normal voice for both Naz and I to hear.
"He's okay," Naz whispered, but it seamed like she was convincing herself more than us, "he's going to wake up and tell us how dramatic we all are any time soon. Don't worry."
"We know," It was the first time I smiled since what happened, but I felt like I had to do it. For Naz. Naz wouldn't be able to keep it together all the time, someone had to. Kenji seemed to have been doing that his own way, caring about her feelings and soothing her while I knew he was no where near fine. I'd do it with my way too. I'll smile and act alright. I believed that I'd smile even if my heart was dripping blood, for Naz, for Kai, I'll do it with pleasure, "we'll never hear the end of it."
I slowly walked towards his bed, brushing against James, and my heart squeezed at the sight of him. Flawless. He was flawless. There wasn't any blood anymore, his face was clean again, normal as if he's just sleeping, as if he'd wake up if I just shook his shoulders.
He's alright, Emma. He's okay.
Then wake up. Wake up, please.
"Hey, Castle is out there," I pointed out to James, "if you want to say hello."
I just wanted them to leave me alone with Kai. I wouldn't try it with Naz, but I still hoped she'd leave us alone even for 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes to take in that he's unharmed in front of me. 5 minutes so I could just hold his hand even if he couldn't feel me.
James nodded and turned, closing the door behind him, and I looked back at Kai, holding the hand that Naz wasn't. Naz was holding his left hand, so I knew I wouldn't be able to check the marks Sonya and Sara talked about. And I didn't want to ask Naz about it, so I kept shut.
"Nazeera," Kenji's voice came from the door, "hey, sweetheart."
"I don't want to leave, Kenji," she simply replied.
"We're not leaving," he slightly shook his head, "just, come out and take your breath for a second. Then you can come back in here, I'll stay with you, I promise."
I didn't miss the glance he threw at me, like he was telling her to let me be alone with him. I held my breath not saying anything, watching Naz look between Kenji, Kai, and me before giving me a small smile and nodding, "okay."
I watched as Kenji took her hand, his other rubbing up and down her back as they walked out, shutting the door lightly behind them. I let out a long exhale, letting go of Kai's hand and rounding the bed, sitting on the chair Naz was on.
"Hey," I whispered, my hand immediately going to his, "I really missed you."
My thumb rubbed against his knuckles, brushing against a rough spot that I never felt before and looked down, swallowing. My eyes traveled from the one on the back of his palm to the ones that extended up his arm to his elbow. the scars had different shapes and sizes. Some appeared like small gashes, barely visible lines against his skin, probably the maximum Sonya and Sara could do to make them disappear. Others were darker and larger, as if the skin had torn apart and then healed over. The shapes and sizes varied, but they all told one story. Kai almost died.
I wanted to touch them, to feel what he had as a part of him forever now, but I was scared. Do they still hurt? Will it be painful if I tried to touch him? I didn't want to hurt him even if he wouldn't feel it, so I just lightly brushed my finger over them. The one on his palm was visible. Dark and clear for anyone to spot. The ones on his forearm were faint, fortunately. Just faint lines that were a shade lighter than his skin, making them visible if you pay attention enough.
I heard an unexpected sob that couldn't escape earlier just as a tear dropped right on Kai's hand in mine, falling over his scar, and put a hand over my mouth, vision blurring from tears. Don't cry in front of him. Don't do this.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and felt myself cry silently, something inside me having a feeling that he'd feel me. I made a deal with Dad to be strong for him, but I was already failing miserably. I couldn't do this. I never even imagined that I'd be in this situation. I never thought about losing Kai that way, never thought about losing Kai at all. I couldn't imagine how it would be like. I didn't want to know.
"I said I miss you," I cried once I opened my eyes, my hand going to the side of his face, "so come back, please."
I waited for anything to happen, for him to lean his face into my palm, for him move even one of his fingers, anything. But nothing happened. The peaceful look in his face as he slept didn't waver, his fingers still loose against mine as I grabbed his hand with both of my own, bringing them to my lips and brushing them against his knuckles, the back of his palm, over his scar and staying there, silently begging him to leave whatever dreamworld he was in right now, and open his eyes to look at me.
Earlier Kenji genuinely smiled for the first time when he talked with Mum. He needed his best friend, that's all. I felt the same. I needed my best friend too. I needed him awake and okay. I just needed him.
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up at Jett opening the door, a plastic bag in her hand, "hey, Ems."
"Hey," I rasped out, wiping my face with the back of my hand.
"We just got some food," she held the bag higher, "come on, let's eat together."
I blinked at her then looked down at Kai, my fingers curling around him more until Jett talked again, her voice clearer this time, "please, Em. You need to eat something, that's not good. And you," I looked up at her pointing at Kai, "just because I told you you're annoying and that I didn't really fancy you as a human being doesn't mean you have the right to do that. What's wrong with you? We're going to have a talk when you wake up, bro."
"Jett," I scoffed, surprised by my own reaction, "leave the man alone."
"He deserves to be scolded," she smirked before it sobered, "let's leave him rest for now though. After we eat, I have a lot of words to say to him again—"
"Me too," I heard Zade's voice from the door, "that guy has been acting out of line lately. I'm the one who's supposed to be dramatically mad and not want to talk to him, not the other way around. The audacity of this dude."
"Yeah, okay," I shook my head, placing Kai's hand next to him on the bed and standing up, "if you seriously tell him that when he wakes up, I'm going to have a problem with both of you."
"I will never get to this new side of you," Jett remarked as we walked out of the room.
"What side?"
"The I'm his girlfriend side," she shook her head as Zade threw an arm around my shoulder while we walked, "you get so protective. It's like we can't hate on him together anymore."
"That's because we cant," I frowned, "seriously, stop being mean to him."
Jett groaned and Zade chuckled, "it's okay, JJ. You still have me. I'm his number one hater."
"Hey!" I smacked his chest as we sat down, "stop it."
"See what I mean?" Jett said, getting the sandwiches out of the bag for the three of us and I rolled my eyes. I could feel myself breathing again now, finally not having a problem to talk. I looked down to see that Adam brought us tacos. I held the sandwich up, seeing Jett and Zade already taking a bite of their own as I froze, a memory snapping in my head.
"Where are the tomatoes?" I frowned down at my sandwich.
"They're... right there?" Kai pointed at the tomatoes splattered across the sandwich.
"They're too few. I can literally eat them all in one bite. What is this? A fraud? Tell them I want more tomatoes," I tugged on his sleeve.
"You tell them," he pulled his arm away, "I'm too hungry for this."
"No," I groaned, "please, I don't want to seem mean. Plus, they did put tomatoes, I'll look like I'm trying to start a problem to the waiter and—"
"Here," Kai put a few tomatoes on my plate, "take mine."
"What? But—"
"I don't really like tomatoes anyway. I always leave them or try to avoid eating them, so..." he motioned to my plate as he took a bite of his now tomato-less taco sandwich.
I pursed my lips debating if I should argue but decided to take them, he hates them anyway, right?
I sighed, biting onto the sandwich, the taste, or the lack of taste, of tomatoes making my eyes burn again. No. You said you're fine. Enough crying.
"You're strong enough to face this, love," I decided to focus on Dad and Mum's conversation next to us instead, distracting myself.
"I thought I didn't have to be anymore," Mum gritted out, "it was supposed to be over."
"It will never be over, Ella," his hand lifted her chin up, "remember what I told you? The whole world will come for us. Will always come for us."
"But why?" She sighed, her hand reached for his wrist, "Aaron, this is scary. The last time it was just us against the world. I told you I would love to watch them try, because I didn't have much to fear, but now..."
She glanced at me, and I quickly looked at my food, taking another bite to make it seem like I'm not listening, "we don't even know who we're up against."
"It's nothing we can't handle together, love," Dad replied with a calm voice, "we went through hell and back. We can do it again. Now, more than ever because we have someone to protect, someone we'll always protect, right?"
They were talking about me. I was the someone. Kai too. If Mum, Dad, Kenji, and Nazeera had to go through all they once did, they would have our lives to save too.
"Right," Mum replied, "you're right. We'll survive this together. For them."
I swallowed the limp in my throat, watching Dad kiss her forehead before she pulled him into a hug. Survive this. Another fight. Another war. This was never going to end, was it? There will always be more. More people with different opinions. More enemies. The last time it was them against the government, this time it was them, they were the government, against people who I think we all know are the ones who believed my family were the bad guys. That they were the ones who ruined their perfect world by destroying the reestablishment.
I figured wars never really end. Even if one did, there will be another one a few years later as an aftermath. War after war after war. But I didn't really care about any of that. Right now, I only cared about my best friend waking up. And then we'll make whoever did this to him pay. Kenji was right. I don't care who did this or how we'll find them, but they had no right, even if it was not their intention, hurting Kai. They had no right making me miserable.
x-x-x-x-x-x
It's been 2 days. 2 full days.
Kai didn't even open his eyes for a second. Didn't move a finger. Nothing. I felt like I was losing my mind, losing myself. I only went home yesterday to get some clothes because I wasn't going to leave the hospital until Kai was walking out of it with us. Nazeera didn't even go home at all, Kenji brought her some of her stuff along with his too. She never really leave Kai's side. Every time I would walk in, she'd either be staring at him, or sleeping while holding his hand. Never really came out of his room unless Kenji forced her to get up and eat. She only spoke to Kenji. Not even Mum or Dad, just Kenji.
I could see how much he was exhausted, physically and mentally. But it was like he physically couldn't let himself wallow too. Like it was his job to pull himself together for Naz's sake. Maybe that's why she was listening to him, talking to him, to help him while he helped her.
I wanted someone to help me too. I couldn't take this anymore. I know everyone around me tried, but I didn't want them to be the ones helping me. I didn't need them, I wanted Kai. I wanted him to hug me like Dad would hug me. I wanted Kai to hold onto me like Kenji would hold Naz. I wanted Kai to crack the jokes Jett tried to distract me with. I wanted Kai to make fun of me like Zade did. I wanted Kai to talk to me like James and Mum would. I just wanted him back.
I wanted him back so much that I was really losing my mind. Because his voice was in my head, not just memories, but things he never said. Like he was here. Like I was talking to him. I'm going insane.
"You're not insane, you just miss me," Kai said in my head. Then come back, I replied. "It's only been two days, Sara said it could take me weeks." Why? Just wake up now. "I don't think this is how it works, sunshine." Please, try. "Damn, you really miss me huh?" Yes. I told you already. If you woke up, you would have heard me. "I'm sorry, I— Emma?" Huh? "Emma, hello?" Did you just call me Emma?
"Emma!" Kai's voice morphed into James's, and I blinked rapidly, looking up at James snapping his finger in front of my face, "where did you go?"
"Huh?" I looked behind James seeing Kai on the hospital bed. I was on the couch staring at him with my eyes, but my mind wasn't in the room. It wasn't even real, "sorry. Yeah? Did you want something?"
"I asked if you're hungry," James hesitated, "are you okay?"
"Yeah," I lied, "I'm fine. And no, not really hungry. I just ate with Zade earlier."
"That was five hours ago, Emma," James sighed.
I nodded slowly, my mouth was dry, I felt my eyes water for what felt like the millionth time in three days, "I'm going to the bathroom. Sorry, I'm not hungry. If you want to eat, do it without me."
I stood up before he could say something else, heading outside. I tried to tug on my sleeves to keep my hands from shaking, but I couldn't even grasp the hem of the sleeves properly. I tasted the salt of my tears again as I walked through the hall, the world blurred behind the water welling up my eyes. I took a turn but bumped into someone, soft hands holding my upper arms.
"I'm sorry— Emma?" Mum's voice sounded faint, "hey, Emma, sweetheart, are you okay?"
Stop asking me that. Stop.
"Yeah," I whispered, wiping my tears with the sleeve of my sweater, "sorry, I was going to the bathroom."
"Hey," she said, moving us to the side until I felt her sitting us down on the empty seats, "hey, calm down, honey. Take a breath."
I did after a moment, exhaling a shaky breath, "I'm fine, Mum."
"You know I don't need your dad's powers to figure you out, right?" Her hand tucked my hair behind my ear, "it's okay."
Nothing was okay. I felt so alone. I was surrounded by everyone, but I was still so alone. Mum and Kenji's friends visited this morning, they all checked up on me, tried to talk to me. I nodded and smiled, but I didn't hear anything they said until they left. Kai, wake up. Why are you doing this?
"He's going to be fine," Mum soothed, "and we're not going to leave his side until he wakes up, alright? He'll wake up soon enough. The hard part is over, he's just resting now. You want him to rest for however long he wants, right?"
I nodded, and she smiled at me, brushing her fingers through my hair. I found myself saying without meaning to, "thank you."
"For what?" She tilted her head.
"Saving him," I said, "thank you for saving him. He wouldn't have made it here without you."
"Don't thank me," she slightly shook her head, "I did what I had to do to protect my family, alright? You understand that?"
I stared at her for a second, her eyes pinning me in place before nodding my head, "yeah."
"I'm not waiting for any thank you's from you, or Kenji, or Nazeera. I did it because I had to, and I want you to be like me," she told me in a serious voice, one she barely used with me, "you should do the same if you're able to help anyone of us. Don't hesitate. I saw you, you know?"
"Saw me?"
"Yeah," she smiled again, "when I was walking out of the academy, I sensed the ceiling crumbling down on me. I saw you on the ground, pinning the bricks in the air above my head. You didn't even know you could take it, you never tried going against gravity this hard before. But you did it without thinking, right?"
I simply nodded after a moment.
"That's all I did," she shrugged, "you're just like me. See? Did you want me to thank you for saving me? Were you waiting for that?"
"No," I whispered, hearing my heart pounding against my chest.
"Come here," she pulled me into her chest, wrapping her arms around me, patting the back of my head with her hand. Her arms tightened a fracture around me and once I hugged her back, I felt myself break. Letting everything that was still left inside out, "shh, it's okay."
"Mum," I sobbed against her shirt, my fingers curling around the back of it as I hugged her tighter.
"It's okay, sweetheart," she rubbed my back with one hand as the other rested on my head.
I don't know how long we stayed like this, but I knew I didn't want to let go until the final second. I realized that I did need her. I needed my mum. I needed this hug, these words. That it's going to be alright. I've been hearing them for the past three days, but coming from her was different. I don't know why, but it just felt real this time. I wanted to believe it, so I did. And it was easy to do so, it was easy to talk to her.
"See? I'll be alright, sunshine," Kai's voice echoed in my head. You better. "Was that a threat?" Just a warning. "I better not keep you waiting long then." You better, I repeated, hearing his chuckle in my mind and relaxing at the sound. Insane or not, I'm not letting this go until Kai opened his eyes and I heard his voice for real. So he better wake up soon. I needed him to wake up soon.
———————
A/N:
I feel like I want to cry for some reason.
Anyway, how are you holding up, babes?😔✋🏻