*edited*
My eyes opened to a bright light. Heaven? I blinked a few times and saw a window. It was stained glass with decorations of an angel.
"Oh come on," I sat up only to see spots. "Ugh."
"Don't move that fast," Isabelle laughed.
"Ah," I touched my head. "I forgot."
"Lena!" Clary yelled. I winced again covering my eyes.
"Ah, don't yell," I said quietly.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can I please hug you?" Clary came toward me. Her makeup wasn't all over her face and she was in different clothes. I sighed and let her hug me tightly. "I thought you were going to die."
"That was the plan," I joked. She hit my arm.
"Stop joking about that."
"Oh she's awake," Jace smiled. Alec followed him in. I looked down at my clothes.
"I changed you, here's some new clothes," Isabelle handed me a stack. They were black leather. I was opposed to her style, I just didn't know if they would fit me.
"Thanks."
Clary wouldn't leave my side as I walked into a bedroom. Alec told me it was my room for the time being. Clary was in the bathroom while I changed. A slight knock on the door and then it opened. Alec and Jace both walked in.
"Wow, you give me no time," I laughed lightly and grabbed my shirt. Neither covered their eyes as pulled it over my chest. Isabelle must do this often. I looked down at the outfit.
"Isabelle is very proud of her body," Jace said.
"Are you going to explain what all that was now?" Clary asked. I turned back to the mirror looking at the rune on my neck. That definitely wasn't there before. "Also I'm not getting a tattoo like that."
"It's not a tattoo it's a rune," Alec and I both said at the same time. I looked over to him. His gaze quickly moved away from me.
"What does that mean?" Clary asked. "Lena, how much do you know?"
"After mom explained most of it to us, I know mostly everything," I pursed my lips as I stared at the floor. Clary looked away from me feeling guilty. I closed my eyes tightly before opening them again.
"How do we find our mother?"
"The mortal cup. Your mother has it?" Jace said. "Had it."
"I'm not sure. I don't even know what we are talking about right now?" Clary threw her hands in the air.
"You take her," I pointed to Jace. "Explain. I'll try to figure everything else out." Alec nodded as he moved for the door. I walked away from her, but she grabbed my hand.
"Lena—." Her eyes watered again. "I—I'm sorry."
I clenched my jaw but nodded. I didn't say anything so she let go of my hand as I walked with Alec.
"I'm going to admit, seeing you in actual daylight is new." I joked. He smiled faintly.
"Is this the Lena?" A man asked moving toward us. He was around middle age. A giant circle scar on his neck. He was probably ten to fifteen years older than me.
"The Lena?" I looked at Alec, but he shook his head.
"My name is Hodge, I'm a caretaker here. I looked after the other shadow hunters," He smiled. I nodded my head.
"My name is Lena Fray." I introduced. Both of them looked at me funny. "What?"
"Lena Fairchild?" Hodge asked once more.
"We have to tell the Clave," Alec muttered.
"Get her settled in first, I will handle the stuff with the Clave," He patted Alec's shoulder as he walked away.
"Fairchild?"
"It's your real last name," Alec nodded.
I followed him onto a platform. There were a lot of other people walking around in similar gear. Several monitors and screens everywhere. Isabelle smiled as she looked at my clothes.
"Fabulous."
"Iz, other things," Alec shook his head. I gave her a tight smile. "Alright, the mortal cup. Do you have any idea where it could be? Did your mother ever mention it to you?" I let out a long breath.
"Yeah, she's mentioned it multiple times. Although, I didn't know what she meant when she was talking about it. She would never tell me exactly where, but she's told me what it looks like. She never answered my questions if I would push further." I rubbed my temples grimacing slightly as the pain started behind my eyes.
"Don't push yourself you feel from the second story," Isabelle said. I shook my head.
"Um."
"We think members of the Circle took your mother," Alec added as he pulled up pictures of a few people. A red circle was tattooed on their neck. It was similar to the one Hodge had, but his was faded. "They serve Valentine."
"And that is?" I looked at Isabelle.
"He's a former shadow hunter. He was trying to start a war against the Downworlders. He wanted complete control over everything. He needs the cup to do that," She explained.
I stayed with them for several more minutes. They explained more things to me about this world. Even though I knew more than Clary, apparently I didn't know as much as I thought. My phone started buzzing. I pulled it out of my thin pocket seeing Simon's name.
"Alerts are going off," Alec turned. A camera showed a person standing outside. I answered the phone.
"Where are you?!" Simon yelled. "I swear Lena if you dragged her into all of your shit, I will never forgive you for that! She isn't like you! She is normal, she still has passion and hopes! Where are you?! She's not answering and I'm worried—."
"Stop fucking screaming at me," I hung up.
"Why is the mundane outside?" Isabelle asked.
"It's Clary's best friend/boyfriend," I walked off the platform moving toward the doors.
"Lena!" Clary yelled.
"Get your man, he's screaming at me," She grimaced as we both walked outside.
"There you are!" He threw his hands up. Jace followed us out. "I've been looking everywhere. Let me take you home." He took off his coat wrapping it around Clary. He didn't glance at me once.
"I don't think I have a home anymore," Clary said.
"I'm going back in," I told Jace.
"Clary, we are your only hope at finding your mom," Jace reasoned.
"Who are you looking at?" Simon asked. He looked at Clary warily and then at me.
"Don't fucking start," I pointed at him.
"Can you show yourself so he can see," Clary waved her hand. Jace pulled out his stele and waved it across one of his runes. It lit up, but that was all.
"Oh great, we are talking with meth dealers," Simon groaned. "Clary let's go. Let your sister do this to herself." I threw my hands in the air.
"Simon stop! Lena isn't crazy," She reasoned. "She's been right all along."
"Clary I never thought I would lose you too, to the insanity," Simon shook his head. "This meth head isn't going to help you. We need to call Luke if your mom is missing."
"We can't trust Luke anymore," I crossed my arms.
"We can't trust you," Simon snapped.
I was moving forward before I could stop myself. My fist smashed into his face. He stumbled back. His nose dripping with blood. I shook my hand as it stung slightly from his bones. It felt good to hit him.
"Lena!" Clary gasped. She touched his face.
"Say one more thing to me about that Simon Lewis," I hissed as he looked at Clary for help. With that, I turned and walked back into the institution.
"That was amazing," Isabelle smiled.
I looked at her once and walked past everyone. None of this was fucking fair. I walked through the halls trying to cool off. I looked into another room and saw a training room. There were dummy bags hanging from the balcony and an armory full of weapons.
"If you're going in there, you have to change," Alec said. I looked over my shoulder.
"I know," I breathed. "This is just for future reference when I have clothes that I can function in without worrying about flashing people." Alec laughed a little. I spun around pointing at him.
"Your laughing," I smiled my finger wiggling in his face as he smiled. "You're smiling." He turned it into a tight smile, but his eyes still held the humor. I shook my head and then took a deep breath.
"If he says something else I'm going to hit him again."
"He needs to shut his mouth. Hopefully, he took the hint 'cause you won't be able to get to him before I do and I won't stop," Alec mumbled as he turned on his heel and walked away.
"I thought I had anger issues," I said.
He didn't smile again. We both just walked back to the infirmary where Simon was getting help from Isabelle and Clary.
"Apologize," Clary said to Simon. He didn't say anything so she slapped his arm.
"I'm sorry about things I said to you before. What I insinuated. It was wrong of me. I know now that you aren't crazy. You're valid," Simon apologized. I crossed my arms staring at him.
"What are you two mirroring one another now?" Isabelle asked pointing from Alec to me. I turned as he did both of us imitating one another.
"No, I'm still angry," I said looking back at Simon.
"That's understandable," Simon nodded. "Just please don't hit me again. I'm fragile."
"You think I wasn't?" The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them. Clary looked at me her expression falling.
"Lena—."
"What are we going to do to find our mom?" I looked at Jace and Iz.
"We are still thinking about that. It's clear that you both have had your memories locked away or else you would have been exposed to the shadow world since you were little," Jace nodded. He pointed at me. "We knew the moment you had yours locked away when you didn't know what the creatures were or why you could see them."
"How long have you been able to see them?" Clary asked. I looked over to her.
"I've seen them since I was twelve. They never attacked me until I was almost fourteen. Most of the time I just assumed it was my imagination, but the night one grabbed me I knew it was real," I explained. My eyes fell to the floor.
"What were you attacked by? You would have died without a rune or blood," Isabelle looked at her brothers.
"You don't have to answer," Alec blurted quickly.
"I didn't know what it was, but it was similar to the other demons I've seen since then. Like the ones in Pandemonium." They each nodded. "I don't know how I survived."
"That's the day you were hospitalized," Clary muttered. I shook my head. "Mom said that you—." She stopped talking. She and Simon shared a look.
"Yeah."
"I'm going to go talk to Hodge and see what we can do?"
Alec left. When he turned he looked down to me for a moment. It was like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. He left.
"Lena," Simon muttered. I shook my head.
"I don't care. It's fine." I said. The pain behind my eyes was starting to return. I could really use some weed right now. Anything to calm this ache.
They both sat there silently. Izzy came forward offering her hand as we both walked out of the room.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"That was a lie," She sighed. I smiled.
"You can read me?"
"Right now I can," She nodded. "I'm sorry about what your family has done to you over the years."
"It's fine."
"It's not fine, Jocelyn shouldn't have done that," Isabelle shook her head. "We've been trying to get you into the institution for years, but the Clave was hesitant, but I do want you to know we tried." She squeezed my hands.
"Thank you for trying," I smiled. "It means a lot that at least someone was attempting to help me, but like I said it's fine. I'm past it."
"Are you?"
"I'll get past it," I admitted.
"Hey, come with us. I've got a plan," Jace said. We followed him back into the middle of the institution walking to one of the walls as Isabelle opened a cabinet. There were blades lined up. "We go to the Silent Brothers. They are powerful beings who would be able to get your memories from you."
"That's dangerous Jace," Isabelle stared at him. "They could die."
"I'll do it," Clary nodded. She looked at me. "If it means I get my mother back." I nodded my head.
"Great, I gotta break the news to Alec," Jace moved to the side texting him quickly. Isabelle stepped forward touching one of the blades with her hand.
"Fifty bucks says he doesn't approve of this mission." She muttered.
"A hundred," I smirked as she laughed.
"I do not approve of this mission," Alec said as he came over to us.
"It's the only way. That they will be able to get their memories back," Jace reasoned. The two stood in front of each other glaring.
"What is that?" I whispered. "Why are they having a moment?"
"They are arguing, kind of. They are parabatai." I nodded and then paused.
"How do I know what that means?" She shrugged.
"We've already broken eight Clave rules and now you want to go to the silent brothers. Jace no, that's stupid," Alec shook his head. He was agitated.
"Alec, it's the only way," Alec glared at his sister his eyes moving to me.
"Do you understand how dangerous this could be for the two of you?" He looked between us. "We have no idea who you are," He pointed at Clary.
"I understand, I just want to find my mother," Clary reasoned.
"We find Jocelyn we find the mortal cup, therefore we are technically serving the Clave," Jace explained. He gave Clary a side smirk as I grimaced. Alec took a deep breath shaking his head.
"This is stupid," He breathed.
"Great he's in," Isabelle clapped her hands together. She opened the weapons cabinet. Clary picked up a sword that glowed in her hand. "Here."
"We don't need that many weapons Isabelle. It's going to be quick, only grab what's necessary," Alec warned. I touched my pocket feeling the handle.
"Do you want one?" Isabelle asked Alec. "You have to replace the other one." Alec sighed and came forward grabbing a sword and his bow from the rack.
"This is so stupid."
"So you've said," Jace nodded. "Let's go before Hodge sees us." He walked away from us. Simon just stared at each of us confused.
"I'll drive," He smiled. The others looked at him. "I mean unless you all know how to drive."
"Drive, Simon," Clary sighed. She got into the passenger seat. I sat across from Alec staring at the floor. Isabelle was giving him directions. She was flirting with him the entire way. We ended up under an old bridge.
"This is where you would bury a body," I muttered as I got out.
"Speaking from experience?" Isabelle laughed. I shook my head as I looked around.
"Perimeter," Alec walked off. Isabelle and Jace moving out as well.
"Are you sure you want to be doing this?" Simon whispered to Clary. I moved forward feeling the rocks crunch under my feet.
"Yes, Simon." She was silent. "Lena." I turned around looking at her. "How did you deal with all of this? The fear?" I swallowed my spit.
"I didn't," I shook my head.
"Is that why?" Her words dying off.
"I can't talk about this with you," I shook my head looking back as the others started walking over.
"She's just trying to understand, Lena. You have to understand from our perspective you were losing your mind," Simon added. I glanced over my shoulder at him.
"How do you think it was from my perspective?" He got silent his eyes falling to the ground.
"Okay, it's all clear," Jace nodded. "Now here's the thing. Only one of you can go in." I could see Clary look at me, but I stared at the opening to the entrance. It was like catacombs. "There are runes on the floor the minute a mundane steps down there it'll kill you." He looked at Simon.
"I'll be in the van," Simon turned moving back to the vehicle
"I'll be with Simon," Isabelle smirked as she took his arm. I just rolled my eyes at her flirting.
"I'll go," Clary offered. I looked over my shoulder at her.
"Can you handle that?"
"I can," She walked past me without another word. I saw Simon open his mouth, but close it. I turned glaring at him.
"Sorry," He muttered. I moved away from them looking at the water not too far from us.
"I don't know why we are keeping him around?" Alec hissed. I smirked as he stood next to me.
"Cause it's Clary's best friend and we can't upset her right now," Alec looked down at me for a moment before looking at the water.
"He annoying," Alec shook his head. We could hear him talking from over here. "And never shut up!" Alec said over his shoulder. Simon stopped talking and Isabelle laughed. I smiled leaning into him.
"Sorry," I muttered and turned away from him walking closer to the stairs. Alec moved with me. "Are you doing perimeter or watching over me?" I didn't look over to him.
"I don't have to watch over you," He admitted. I smiled staring at the ground. "I can't stand the mundane."
"Oh so I'm the next best slightly less insufferable thing," I laughed. He smiled looking away from me.
"Yeah, that's it," He licked his lips trying to force the smile away. I hit his arm lightly.
"Brat," I scoffed.
I heard him laugh as I left him standing by himself. Isabelle and Simon were near the grass on the side talking to one another. I looked up at the sky letting out a deep breath. Alec moved back over by me.
"Thank you."
"For what?" He looked at me confused.
"I'm not sure, but I'm thankful that I met you," I said. He looked at me for a moment longer his eyes moving over my features. "Can I hug you?"
"No." He sighed and opened his arms.
I wrapped myself around him. I was careful of his bow and quiver as I held him. He was warm. His heart was racing just like before. His arms wrapped around me. He barely hesitated this time. I lifted my head my chin resting on his chest.
"I like your hugs," I smiled. He didn't smile. He didn't speak. He just watched me. "It's odd." He furrowed his brows as I moved back. "I don't like hugs." I crossed my arms trying to keep the warmth that he'd given me. He clenched his jaw looking at me.
"Lena!" I started moving. Clary was running for me. Her body shaking with sobs.
"What?" She grabbed my arm collapsing into me. I helped her stay standing as she broke down.
"He's our father," She sobbed. My heart stopped.
"Who?" I breathed. "Clary the name."
"Valentine. He's our father," She shook her head. "He's our father." I stared down at my sister horrified.
"Um, we have a problem," Isabelle interrupted. She came over without Simon.
"Where's Simon? Simon!" Clary yelled as she pushed away from me. It was like a switch flipped in her brain. She went back to the van.
"I told him to wait in the van, but he's not in the van anymore. I searched for him, but I think a downworlder took him," Isabelle explained. I nodded as I looked over to Jace and Alec.
"Simon! You were supposed to protect him?" Clary snapped.
"Claire," She covered her face and wept to herself like a child.
"Is that what his name is?" We looked up on the edge of the bridge. Two figures on the bridge there holding Simon over the edge dangling by his foot.
"Simon," Clary gasped.
"Give us the mortal cup or the mundane dies," The woman spoke. They both quickly vanished into the night.
"No Simon!" Clary yelled. I took in a deep breath looking back at Jace. He was staring directly at me. My skin crawled.
The ride back was silent. I'd parked it a few blocks away. Isabelle stayed with me so we could go back in together. We were nearing the steps and someone jumped from the shadows. Isabelle was faster her rope snapping at the man.
I pulled the blade from my pocket as he dove from me. Another one emerged tackling Isabelle. He knocked the blade out of my hand as I struggled under him. He had a disgusting smile on his face. A circle tattoo on his neck.
"Lena Fairchild," He got close to my face. I held my breath and kneed him in the groin. He groaned giving me enough time to kick him off of me. My blade was too far.
"We won't stop searching for you!" He grabbed my foot dragging me closer to him. I stood on my opposite foot kicking him in the head. My hands on the ground as I slid behind him placing my hands on his head and then snapping his neck.
The crack made my stomach turn. My breathing was labored as the adrenaline made me feel invincible. That was my first instinct. To kill. Why? Why was that? His body crumbled to the ground. Isabelle pulled her blade back as the other man's body fell to the ground.
"You good?" I nodded taking another deep breath. My eyes moved to her as I stepped over his body grabbing the blade off the ground. We walked into the institute.
"Thanks for the assist," Isabelle rolled her eyes.
"You seemed like you had it handled," Jace smirked. Clary was just staring at me.
"You killed him," She breathed.
"Don't look at her like that. He was trying to kill her. They will come for you too," Alec snapped. His eyes moved from me back to the screens.
"How are we going to get Simon back?"
Clary had finally stopped crying. Her eyes were still red and puffy. But she could form full sentences now.
"I don't know, how we can trust you," Alec muttered.
"Alec," Jace warned.
"What? This could be his plan to get someone on the inside to get information. To get the cup," Alec snapped. "We can't trust her."
"Why are you only coming for me?" Clary snapped. Her eyes flickered to me. I shook my head looking down.
"Lena isn't like you. She's been going through this a lot longer than you have. If she was Valentine's spy she would have come here a lot sooner," Alec argued.
"She didn't have her memories until today," Jace gestured to Clary.
It was clear who was protecting which twin. Jace and Clary. Alec and me. I was grateful I at least had someone on my side.
"I still don't trust her," Alec turned back to the screens.
"The woman on the bridge," Isabelle changed the subject. "That was Camille."
"Vampires," Jace shook his head.
"So where is he like Transilvania?" Clary asked. I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"No it's the Dumort Hotel," Alec corrected. His face was still focused on the screens. "That's Vampire territory. That would be breaking the accords. Another rule we are going to break."
"I can ask Melijorn how to get in without being noticed, but it will have to be tomorrow," Isabelle ignored him.
"Alec they kidnapped a mundane. That's a big no-no. Again technically we aren't doing anything wrong since we're supposed to protect the mundanes. Also, it's better to do this during sunrise." Jace reasoned as he stared at Alec.
"What? No, I'm going after Simon now," Clary scoffed and moved away from us. I looked up blinking several times.
"Clary you'll get Simon and yourself killed," I spoke. Her body slowly came back into my vision.
"Fine."
"What we can do tonight is get the tools," Jace nodded.
"I'll go speak with Melijorn," Isabelle walked off.
"Speak?" I questioned. Jace laughed a little. "Mmkay."
Jace followed Clary out as Alec followed me. We walked into a separate room trying to plan out the possible ways to get into the hotel. Escape routes.
It didn't take Izzy long to get the information. She came back in telling us of a back exit and then the rooftop. With that in mind, we left. Jace explained that we couldn't leave the Institue with weapons for an unsanctioned raid. Hodge would know and stop us. We eventually ended up at a cemetery.
"We are looking for a grave Melissa Sampson."
"Why?" Clary asked.
"Graverobbing," I joked. Jace laughed.
"The weapons are hidden on holy ground," Alec said. "Those who give their lives to a cause bigger than themselves." I moved through the stones looking at all the names.
"You both go that way," Jace pointed away from where he and Alec were.
"Jace come here for a second," Alec spoke. They were standing next to the statue in the center of the cemetery. Isabelle was wandering a little far off.
"You don't really think I'm a spy right?" Clary asked.
"No, I don't," I got lower trying to read the odd writing on the stones.
"Can you talk to Alec? He's going after me. I just want to find Mom. I don't care about any of this."
"Clary, you can't run away from who you are," I said. "Even when we find Mom, our lives will never be the same again."
"I'm not supposed to be a part of this life," Clary shook her head. "I was accepted into art school." I turned to look at her. "I'm not meant to do this kind of stuff."
"You think I am?"
"Look at yourself, you're thriving. You have the instincts, the skills," Clary reasoned. A tear fell from her eyes.
"Clary I made myself this way. The fear was so much that I had to try and do something to protect myself. I taught myself how to fight. How to handle any kind of weapon because I feared that one of them was going to come after me at the house. That they were going to go after you and Mom," I took a deep breath. "I didn't want this life either. I didn't want to be afraid to go outside. I didn't want to fear for myself constantly. The fear paralyzed me."
"I'm sorry—."
"Yeah, it didn't help that Mom and Luke both went with the insanity act. Neither of them wanted to teach me to fight. Neither was willing to tell me what was happening. Nothing, they let me think I was crazy. They watched me try to cope. They watched me break down and pick myself back up." She opened her mouth. "You watched too. Now you understand what I've been living with for years. This is your life now. You're going to make it your life because you can't run from this." I walked past her looking at the other graves. She sniffled as I passed her.
"I found it!" I called to the others. Jace came over feeling the grass until he yanked up a panel. Under it was a coffin. He opened it exposing the weapons.
"Servant," Clary cringed. "Who would want something like that on their stone?"
"Someone who served faithfully," I muttered as Jace handed me weapons.
"Do you need anything?" Isabelle stared at her brother. Alec shook his head.
"No bow," Alec muttered as she laughed. "I'm going back to the institute." I stood up with him. He gave me a confused look.
"Can I go?" I asked. He nodded as he walked away. "Well meet you guys there."