**Trigger Warning - Abuse, Nightmares, PTSD, SA, Restraint, Knives and Blood. If these things trigger you please read with caution, it is all in Bucky's POV at the end, so if you would just like to skip over that part to the last couple of lines, Which I have marked with *** please do. Please keep yourselves safe besties! ** Here. We. Go **
New York - Bucky's POV
Sam and I had settled on the couch, he'd found some basketball game to watch. I was only half paying attention. My mind was whirring about the case Sam had presented earlier, and the Doc...
"You've got steam comin' out your ears" I heard Sam remark, I turned to look at him still not fully paying attention.
"Hum?" I grunted at him, and he nodded towards me.
"Your ears, they got steam comin' out of em. What you thinking so hard about?" Sam chuckled at me.
I licked my lips before answering "Nothing" I snapped my head in a short shake, turning back to the game.
"Umm" Sam hummed, raising his eyebrows, he wasn't about to let this drop "I can hear the cogs whirring, what's going on in that cyborg brain?" He laughed.
"It's computing" I huffed, not looking up from the game.
"What? What's computing?" Sam prodded further, leaning forward to look at me.
I raised one eyebrow as I glanced at him, then shook my head "This case, it's weird. What's the aim of it all?" I sighed out.
"Yeah" Sam's face fell, and he flopped back into the couch "Look man there's no point stressing about it, we've not got enough intel yet" Sam shook his head as he dropped his gaze "Unfortunately we're gonna have to just wait until we have more answers" He looked up with a frustrated smile.
"Umm" I hummed out slowly staring at the TV screen and sighed.
I wished the Doc was here, we could really use her insight in figuring this out.
I glanced down at my phone, then back at the TV.
Sam got up suddenly, waving his empty bottle at me.
"Another, before I have to go?" He asked and I nodded, as he made his way into the kitchen.
I grabbed my phone and quickly tapped out a message, pressing send before Sam could come back, catch me, and give me shit, and before I could talk myself out of it...
Tonsburg - Freyja's POV
Val went to let the others know dinner was ready as I dished the plates out.
Slowly everyone filed into the little kitchen and took a seat.
Val at the head of the table, I sat on her left, Loki to her right, facing me, Thor at the other end and his daughter next to me, on Thor's right.
"Dig in, then" Val looked around the table with her eyebrows raised, as no one had started to eat, and laughed.
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket as I went to start eating.
"Sorry" I muttered sheepishly, as I pulled it out to check it wasn't an emergency. I could feel Loki's eyes on me as he ate, and a quick glance confirmed he was smirking at me.
I frowned at him.
Nosy bastard...
"Doctors are always on call" I raised my eyebrows, irritated, at him, then dropped my eyes to look down at the text.
Bucky Barnes:
Hey Doc, just wanted to check you'd landed safely.
How was the flight? And the book? :)
The Doc:
Yes I'm safe Buck, thank you.
The flight was uneventful.
But I loved the book.
See you Wednesday.
Freyja.
Bucky Barnes:
:)
I put my phone back in my pocket after replying to Bucky.
"I'm sorry, doctor?" I looked up to see Loki's confused face staring open mouthed at me.
Ha, nice to know I can wipe that smug look off his face...
It was petty, but the fact I was able to shock him amused me.
"Yes, brother" Thor replied happily to Loki's question "This is Dr. Larrsen" He grinned as Loki's confused blue eyes moved from mine to Thor's and back again. Confusion still clear on his face, as his brows furrowed, and his pale pink lips parted slightly.
"You're the one that helped Thor?" Loki's face had changed from confusion to disbelief as he stared at me.
"Yes" I replied "Women here on Earth are also extremely intelligent Loki. I'm a very accomplished psychologist and psychiatrist, specialising in trauma, PTSD, multiple personalities, Superheroes, and... Gods" I grinned smugly at him as I picked up my cutlery to start eating. I could see Val smirking, out of the corner of my eye, as she kept her head bent towards her food, but I didn't look at her.
"I also minored in biochemistry and bioengineering" I raised my eyebrows at him, challenging him to retort, as I took a bite of my food off my fork.
Go on, say something...
I tore my gaze from Loki and focused on my food, as Loki's jaw dropped, and he slumped back in his chair with a quiet huff of disbelief.
"This is delicious Val, thank you" I turned to Val with a smile, ignoring Loki's stunned demeanour.
"Yes" Thor grinned through a mouthful of food.
"I still want pan flaps" Came the little girl's voice, not looking up from her food, as she swung her legs back and forth under the table, between her shovelling of food.
Like father, like daughter...
Loki seemed to recover from his shock and began to eat his dinner, staying silent for most of the meal, seemingly processing the information I had just dropped. I smug grin graced my lips at the thought. His uncharacteristic, absence of speech, or rather snide comments, was mostly unnoticed as Thor and Val filled me in with what had been happening in the village, and Thor's daughter told me all about her adventures with the God of Thunder.
The evening slipped by fairly quickly, filled with laughter and chatter between Thor, Valkyrie, and I, with the odd demand thrown in from the little girl, and of course pan flaps for dessert. Loki was seemingly deep in his own thoughts, so I ignored him, losing myself in the warmth of the conversation and company around me.
Eventually Thor stood up from the table announcing it was "This little warrior's bedtime" which was speedily answered with "No it's not" in a sing-song voice.
I chuckled as Thor gently pushed her into the hallway and reasoned with her to put her coat back on. After many rounds of goodbye and bone breaking hugs from both of them, Thor managed to coax her out of the door and towards their home.
I turned to Val as she closed the door.
"I guess I should get going too, I've got a video appointment tomorrow" I smiled, screwing my lips up into a slight grimace, not really wanting to leave and be on my own with Loki.
"A doctor's work is never done huh?" Val laughed, repeating my earlier sentiment towards Loki, and pulled me into a hug "Well we can catch up tomorrow after your session maybe?" Val released me from her hug and held me at arm's length studying my face "You know how to ride horses don't you?" She asked with a frown and a smirk.
"I do" Loki's quiet voice came from behind me, close to my ear, making me jump slightly, and causing Val to let go of me, as she folded her arms across her chest, to stare at Loki with narrowed eyes.
Jesus when did he get there?
"I could teach you if you like, if you don't already know" He offered quietly with a small, genuine looking smile on his face. I blinked up at him in disbelief, and Val just smirked.
"I.. Erm.. No" I stuttered out, as Loki's face and shoulders fell at the assumed rejection "No, I don't know how to ride a horse, so that would be..." I gestured, shaking my head, lost for the right word "Nice?" I finished lamely, raising my eyebrows questioningly and shaking my head at my own choice of words.
Nice? Is that a word you can use to describe Loki?...
Loki's face broke out into a brilliant smile, as Val snorted a laugh that she tried to hide.
"Great!" She exclaimed "I'll see you both tomorrow afternoon" And patted my arm, opening her front door once more.
"Perhaps you would give me the pleasure of walking you home?" Loki smiled at me once more. I raised my eyebrow at him.
What the hell is he up to?...
"Sure..." I said slowly, frowning at him, then turning to Val, who had the biggest grin on her face, I sighed "Good night Val" I chuckled "Thank you for dinner."
"Anytime" She grinned as Loki, and I left her house.
I waved as I walked slowly towards the village square, Loki walking slightly ahead of me, his head bowed slightly, not looking at me or Val. Val waved back and shut her door for the evening.
Turning back to Loki, who seemed deep in thought, I fell quietly in step with him as we walked along in silence. The nights here were a lot colder than New York; I noticed looking around and shivering, and quieter too.
Loki turned to look at me for a moment as we walked along, then removed his cardigan, draping it across my shoulders.
"Oh!" I began to exclaim, suddenly flustered again "I'm OK, don't worry, you'll catch a cold, I'll be fine, honestly" I tried to play off his act of chivalry, but he just chuckled at me as he returned to his place beside me, turning his head slightly to look at me.
"I am Jotunn" He grinned, and I shook my head frowning, confused.
Loki sighed "I am a Frost Giant" He smiled, gesturing to himself "I don't feel the cold" He twitched a smirk before turning back to watch where he was walking.
"Oh" I murmured, my cheeks burning as I pulled the warm cardigan further around me.
He's pretty hot, for a frost giant, if this cardigan is anything to go by...
Tonsburg - Loki's POV
The evening had seemed to go by in a blur after the doctor had dropped the bomb of who she actually was, I had barely registered the idle chit chat going on around me.
Her? She was the one who had helped Thor, the doctor he spoke so highly of? She was the one who owned all those books on mind reading? Then she rattled off all those subjects she was an expert in. It had completely taken me by surprise. She didn't look or act like a scholar.
Humans are so odd...
She had eventually caught up to me after saying her prolonged goodbyes to Valkyrie, clearly she still didn't want anything to do with me, this still irked me for some unknown reason, but as she'd fallen into step with me I noticed her shivering. So in a moment of weakness I gave her my cardigan. I may be a God, but mother had raised me to be a gentleman, where possible, around women, and besides I don't feel the cold, the garment was merely for show.
She had gotten flustered again at my gesture, babbling about me getting cold. Laughable. A frost giant getting cold? How absurd. It had been my chance to return the surprise information by telling her my true parentage. The look on her face had been worth the possible questions and judgement, my heart did sink a little though at the thought she may be repulsed by my true form.
How odd...
This was soon becoming an interesting little game of tit for tat though, I smirked to myself as we continued to walk, stealing the occasional glance in her direction. She chewed her lip looking nervous, perhaps, not noticing my glances, lost in her own thoughts, and I began to regret telling her what I really was.
Before long we had arrived back at our little house and I unlocked the door, holding it open as she walked past me with a small smile. I hadn't bothered to read her thoughts as I wasn't sure I wanted to hear what she thought of me after my revelation and our fairly pleasant walk back to the house. I was enjoying her company, given that she was no longer yelling or glaring at me.
Closing the door and ensuring it was secure, I turned and looked up to see she had stopped at the bottom of the stairs, holding my cardigan out in one hand, my lips parted as my eyebrows raised slightly, I just stood and stared at her, frozen.
There was something about the way the moonlight hit her from the long window on the stair wall that made her glow. She looked radiant, as if she too could be a God. She raised her eyebrows and shook her head gently, her eyes wide questioning me, signalling I had been staring too long.
I snapped my mouth shut, shaking my head slightly and smiled, covering the few short steps towards her and retrieved my cardigan, my fingers grazing hers as I took the piece of clothing, sending a warmth through my hand and up my arm as I gazed into her hazel eyes once more.
Curious...
"Thank you Loki" The doctor said with a hint of reluctance, I merely smiled and nodded to her.
"You are most welcome, my lady" I replied quietly with a shy smile, as I folded the garment over one arm, and I caught the slightest hint of a smile flit across her lips as her eyes sparkled in the light from the window.
"Goodnight Loki" She said softly with a half smile, biting her lower lip softly, and turned, walking up the stairs and away from me. Leaving me to feel the absence of her company.
"Goodnight Freyja" I whispered softly as I watched her disappear.
I sighed once she was out of view and shook my head.
By the Gods, I was in trouble...
New York - Bucky's POV
I looked around, I was in some sort of room. I couldn't make much out to begin with, it was dark with only moonlight coming in from a small window, a bedroom maybe? There wasn't much furniture that I could see, and it was eerily quiet.
I looked down at myself, decked out in what appeared to be black tactical gear and heavy black boots.
It felt hard to breathe, as if something covered my face, then I heard the whimper come from the left side of me. My head snapped towards the sound. I felt the muscles in my face spread into an evil grin.
I felt my legs carry me over to the source of the noise, then I saw her.
It was Freyja...
She was tied to a metal framed bed, a rag between her teeth fastened behind her head. Her beautiful chestnut haired now matted in places sprawled across the dirty grey looking pillow beneath her.
Her clothes were torn and dirty, splatters of what I knew from years of experience to be dried blood, dotted over her shirt. Tears streamed down her temples from her eyes, wide with fear, as she struggled against the restraints.
I could hear the muffled cries of no, please and help from behind the cloth.
I felt the bed dip and heard it creak below my weight as my legs straddled the struggling body of Freyja and I leaned towards her.
I could hear my own voice screaming "No! PLEASE! Leave her alone, please..." It begged, but it sounded as if it was coming from far away, and not from my own mouth. Like a recording being played in another room. I felt detached from what was happening, like I had no emotions.
I saw the glint of a blade as my hand raised it to Freyja's frightened face, her eyes darting towards it as its tip gently traced her skin. Then it slid underneath the rag, quickly slicing it in half. A silver hand removed her gag and threw it behind me somewhere.
"No... Please... Don't... Please please... Please don't" I heard Freyja beg scared and ragged, still twisting to break free from her restraints. Panic and fear clear in her face and voice. I heard my voice once more, from its distant point screaming, begging, pleading.
"NOOOO! Please, leave her alone... STOP! Please... Please... Not her... Please..."
The blade traced slowly down Freyja's neck, not breaking the skin, just hard enough to leave a little red pressure mark. Then down her chest, over her torn shirt, stopping just on the point her bra would connect. I could see her chest heaving rapidly, in the dim light from the window. Freyja had frozen, though, not daring to move more than she could help. Her wrists red and bleeding slightly from her previous struggles. Her eyes, still wide and terrified, trained solely on me. My voice in the distance, still begging and pleading, now sobbing for me to stop.
I felt the grin on my face widen, as if I was... enjoying this?
Then the silver hand reached up towards my face, removing the black, plastic mask, the reason it was so hard to breathe, and placed it on the bed next to me.
I heard Freyja gasp a scared sob.
"Bucky? Please Bucky don't do this... Please... Please Bucky please... Please..." I heard her rasp out as she gasped for breath. Her eyes pleaded with me, but still I didn't feel anything...
"Shushhhh" I heard a familiar voice hush Freyja's pleas. My voice in the distance howling in rage and fear.
The blade flicked slowly as it cut through Freyja's shirt and bra, allowing both sets of material to slide lazily down the sides of her body, as she whimpered quietly, terrified. My eyes trailed down her naked body. Yellow and purple bruising blossomed along one side of her. The arousal in my pants, becoming more insistent.
"Moya prekrasnaya printsessa" (My beautiful princess) The voice rumbled out.
The silver hand lay palm down on Freyja's chest as it heaved, holding it there for a moment, feeling her heart thundering beneath it, then it dragged slowly down, towards her thigh, as my body shifted itself to allow it to travel, resting on my right arm, my face moving closer to hers. I could hear her heart pounding and smell the fear coming off her, her reaction to my presence and touch going straight between my legs.
I heard the other voice growl in pleasure, as my lips grazed her jaw line, her eyes squeezed shut.
The yelling and screaming became even more desperate from my voice, as the silver hand travelled back up the inside of Freyja's trembling thigh, pushing her skirt up with it. I could taste the salty tears that were silently falling down the sides of her face, as my lips found their way towards hers. My lips devoured hers as the silver fingers pushed her panties aside and slid into her heat, her muffled cries stifled against my kiss.
My terrified scream sounding loud and crystal clear in my ears.
***I gasped for breath as I bolted upright, as though I'd just broken the surface after being held under water too long, my dog tags jingling as I moved, and my chest heaved, sucking in air.
My head snapped from left to right, looking around me I saw the familiar surroundings of my apartment living room. The TV playing silent infomercials. The small lamp sat next to it glowing gently. The overflowing bookcase. The sound of the busy street below coming through faintly from the closed window. I felt as though I was burning alive, my skin felt so hot, I could feel the sweat covering my body, sliding down my face.
I shakily, raised my left hand, turning it slowly, looking at it as though I'd never seen it before. My breathing still ragged. It was black with gold flashes where the plates moved as I flexed it.
Thank God...
My chest heaved as I sucked in breath, it was a nightmare, but it had felt so real. I could taste her tears, feel the rise, and fall of her panicked chest, smelt the fear. The taste still faintly in my mouth. I swallowed hard and ran my hand through my hair, pulling at it from the roots, before letting it flop back down as my heart rate started to slow, hitting something plastic next to me.
I turned, confused to see what it was.
The black mask.. THAT black mask...
My stomach lurched and I almost fell off the couch trying to get away from it, my heart rate skyrocketing, bile rising in my throat. My eyes wide in terror, my face falling into a look of pure shock and disbelief, I scrambled to my feet looking desperately for my phone.
Finding it on the floor next to my couch, I grabbed it with a shaking hand and dialled the only person that could help me right now, trying to swallow my panic, even though my throat felt like it was closing on me. As it rang in my ear, I begged silently, that she was OK.
"Please let her be ok, please... please... come on pick-up."
I paced the floor, never taking my eyes from the grotesque mask on my couch, making sure it wasn't a figment of my imagination, or allowing it to magically disappear.
"Come on" I growled at the ringing phone "Pick up, pick up... Please" I muttered as I paced, pulling at my hair once more.
Hope you are all ok, Please take care of yourselves besties!
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Enjoy!