Hyunjin melted into the hug , finally finding some peace . The way the voices inside his head slowly disappeared , giving him time to breathe after a while . Hyunjin knew it wouldn't last long , like always but even just a second without them feels like freedom .
Seungmin patted his back , letting him sink into the embrace even more . Hyunjin felt like his 9 year old again , searching for a safe place by my mother . Oh his mother.... how much he misses her ... he would do everything just to hug her again , but eventually she lives far away and the company said he can't go this far away nowadays .
He knew his mother wasn't feeling so well all alone by herself and with her disease .
Seungmin slowly pulled away after a while , rubbing Hyunjins upper arm up and down , not noticing the pain on his face which he suppressed . ,,You alright ?" wouldn't have Hyunjin broken down in front of Bangchan already yesterday , he would'Ve started crying right here in front of Seungmin .
He was scared he may reveal himself , or badder stuff ... but here he was . Warm tears formed inside his eyes , threatening to fall down . He looked right into the others eyes as his face turned into worry , quick to pull Hyunjin into another hug , this one much tighter and warmer . Hyunjin pressed his face into Seungmins shoulder as the other ran his fingers thru his hair .
The scalp massage was everything Hyunjin needed , finally being able to cry without having the worst headache .
,,What's wrong hyung ?" Seungmins soft voice played over the sobs that left hyunjins mouth as he clawed onto the younger . He wasn't able to speak once again , just shaking his head softly .
Minutes have been passed by now as his cries softened , only a few small water drops falling down his cheeks now . ,,You want to talk about it?" for once Hyunjin nodded because , I mean it's not really about his mental health . He sat up straight , not looking into Seungmins eyes before speaking ,,I miss my eomma." He wasn't able to speak this sentence out loud without starting to sob again .
He wanted to taste moms food , He wanted to hug mom , He wanted to play board games with mom , he wanted to go on a walk with mom , he wanted to cuddle with his mom again.
,,Oh hyung... Now that we have a break , I am sure you can visit her." Seungmin took the others hands , caressing the back of it . Hyunjin nodded , slowly wiping away the few tears . He thanked him before Seungmin stood up , walking outside the room .
The hurt boy leaned on the table , looking down on the broken apple bar . He sighs , slowly opening it . It has been his meal for months now and everyday it tastes more like cardboard . The good thing tho is that it only has 50kg , enough for Hyunjin to stay alive even tho he didn't want to .
With a glass of water beside him , he took a small bite of the corner , gulping it down with a big sip of water . To finish the little bar , it took him about 20 minutes , also drifting off sometimes in between .
After finishing and putting the empty glass into the sink , he walked outside into the living room , getting meet with changbin , Lino , Han , jeongin and bangchan on the couch with their phones in their hands . It wasn't new to see this sight , but it always makes his heart warm to see his members , his family healthy and having fun .
Han laughed , showing lee know probably some funny cat video while clinging onto his arms . Hyunjin looked at them in awe , always thinking those kind of things are so cute even tho a part of him felt jealous .
,,Hyunjin , come sit with us!" He looked at bangchan who smiled brightly , patting the space beside him and the armrest . He hesitate but eventually walked up to them , slowly sitting on the soft couch which was now hard for him .
Hyunjins thigh was right beside Chans , fabric rubbing again fabric . It wasn't uncomfy , Hyunjin felt save and warm when being caged between a person he likes . Even tho Hyunjin really doesn't like skin ship , he likes to give it even tho that was getting rarer and rarer .
,,Look ji." Hyunjin snapped back , head turning towards the phone chan was holding into his face . It was a funny video about what so ever , well the younger needed to laugh , liking the humor of the leader .
But as he pulled alway again , hyunjin got straddled with something . Bangchan wrapped his hands around him in a bear hug way , softly caressing Hyunjins hair . His cheeks turned into a bright red , slowly laying his head onto the others wide chest .
Peace.
This wasn't all to bad......
---
,,Hyu....wa.up....It..la.." Hyunjin opened his eyes , a certain voice waking him up from his peaceful sleep . He looked up , jumping at the sight of bangchan right above him . Oh ... he fell asleep on bangchan .
He got pulled out once again by a familiar giggle . There was now everyone on the couch , some looking at hyunjin with a warm smile and on their phone again . ,,We are gonna watch some movies , you wanna watch too?" Felix looking at Hyunjin with a smile that reached his eyes . The shy boy nodded before feeling something tingle inside him , screaming to have what it wants.
,,Yeah I'm just gonna go out for a second , taking some fresh air because my throat is kinda dry." he smiled , slowly lifting himself and walking towards the door . Hyunjin puts on his shoes , black puffer jacket and bag before opening the door.
It wasn't warm , but also not freezing cold .
He walked behind the house , leaning against the wall and took off his mask before taking out his cigarets and lighter . It was risky again , but as he said , it doesn't matter to him anymore .
People walked past him , minding their own business as he took a long drag of the toxic air , breathing it out into the air seconds later .
He smoked 2 pieces , not realizing he had been out for much longer than planned . He quickly walked back inside after spraying his perfume he had in his back on his whole body .
Hyunjin placed himself on the couch , same place has earlier . ,,Okay lets watch." Bangchan wrapped his arms around hyunjin again , some kind of getting a habit but the younger didnt mind , actually enjoying it.
----
About 2 hours into the movie , everyone was still wide awake but some of them on their phones AGAIN .
As hyunjin was about to stand up , going to the toiled , he got stopped by a loud gasp coming from Jeongin . he turned around , seeing everybody looked at the maknae too . His eyes starred right at Hyunjin , shocking him for a second .
,,What the fuck hyunjin." he turned around his phone so everybody could see the new dispatch report . Loud gasps were heard thru the room as hyunjins body ran cold , reading the text with the photo .
March 3rd 2022. , Hwang Hyunjin from StrayKids . 20 minutes ago
Oh he is FUCKED.
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lol