Four days later, Ron and Harry got their results.
"Finally! Been waiting ages," Harry said, relieved and excited.
Dummydoor handed each of the boys an envelope that contained what house they had been sorted into. Ron, who was no longer bleeding out the head, carefully opened his, pulling the paper out slowly so he wouldn't damage it.
Harry ripped his open and yanked the paper out, crumbling it a little.
"Gunnindoor!" Ron said excitedly.
"Gunnindoor?" Harry said
confused. When Harry read his results out loud, Ron got even more excited.
"ME AND MY BEST FRIEND IN THE SAME HOUSE?!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!" Ron screamed, hugging Harry tightly.
Harry wrinkled his nose at Ron.
"Best friend? Mate, we are not best friends. Please let go," Harry said flatly. Dummydoor coughed, clearing his throat.
"Well then, I suppose we should get you two to the Gunnindoor dorms, just let me.. Ah yes, Mr Mulfoy here can take you to the Gunnindoor rooms." Dummydoor said, reaching out a long cloaked arm and grabbing Mulfoy by the throat.
"Take these chaps to the Gunnindoor common room please and thank you." Dummydoor commanded.
"Buta, Headmastera Dummydoor! I ama Slytherguna! Nota Gunnindoora!" Mulfoy cried.
"Do as I say dungface!"
Dummydoor proclaimed gleefully.
Mr Mulfoy sighed dramatically and turned towards Harry and Ron.
"Wait a momenta! I recognize you!" Mulfoy pointed at Harry with a pale Italian hand.
Harry raised his orbbrows in recognition.
"You're Dracoa right? You bumped into me when I was getting my books."
"Uh, no. Its'a just "Draco'a"."
"Yeah, that's what I said. Dracoa."
"No no no, nota Dracoa. Its pronounced Draco'a."
"Mate, thats wot Im saying."
"No, you're saying it'a wrong'a you ugly'a boy."
"I don't think I am but wotever. Aren't you supposed to take us to our rooms?"
"Are you trying to say Draco?" Ron interrupted, his red orbbrow raised.
This got the seductive boys attention. His pale face brought out the similar pale lack of color in his hair.
"And who'a are you?" Draco sneered, his teeth had so little color in them they were partially transparent.
Ron stuck his hand out and opened his mouth to answer Draco when Draco held up his hand, signaling for Ron to stop talking and said
"AH WAIT'a DON'T TELL'a ME! RED HAIR AND AH HAND ME DOWN'a ROBE? YOU MUST BE A WEASOLY!"
"Uh, yes? You got a problem with that or what mate?" Ron questioned.
Draco laughed.
"How'a many more'a of you are there'a?!-WAIT! NOA, don't tell'a me that theres'a another one coming next'a year!" Draco shouted, clutching his stomach laughing.
"Well I mean, there is another one coming next year. My sister," Ron said, a little uncomfortable.
Draco laughed again. "How'a can they afford all those'a kids?" Draco wheezed, Ron shrugged with a frown and tried to hide his broken glock in his pocket.
"I suppose'a I should take'a you to your'a rooms," Draco said, starting to walk towards a flight of stairs. Ron and Harry followed the extremely pale boy up the stairs.
"Wot house are you in Dracoa?" Harry asked.
"Its not'a- Nevermind'a. I'm a Slythergun'a, the best house'a of course. Nothing but'a the best'a for a Mulfoy'a."
Harry rolled his perceptors at the Italian boy. The pale boy led them up another flight of stairs to a wall, they stood staring at the portrait of a gigantic woman with a machine gun sticking out of her bosom.
"'Ow do we get in, this is a pan'in of a fat lady, not a door! What rubbish. You are a rubbish boy, mr. pale faced albino boy."
Draco rolled his blue diamonds at the boy named Harry in front of him.
"Theres a keypad'a you stupid'a boy'a," Draco said, annoyed. He pointed at a very obvious keypad that was badly disguised as one of those name plates they put next to paintings in museums.
"Only I'a don't know'a the passcode so'a you'll have to'a talk to'a you're houses prefect'a."
"Do you know who that is mate? Or are we supposed to guess?" Harry questioned.
"Why'a would I'a know who your'a houses prefect'a is'a? That is'a not'a for me to know'a!" Draco projected, spit flying. With a click of his italian heel draco was leaping down the stairs, leaving Harry and Ron stranded outside of the portrait.
"Wot a tosser," Harry sighed, looking at the portrait of the fat lady with a machine gun.
"We don't need to worry Harry, My brother Percy, is a prefect, we can ask him later!"
"Where is your brother? You stupid muppet, i want into my room now dont I?"
Harry looked down to pick his bags and Footsock up, only to realize he had neither. Footsock had run off after chewing the greasy teacher up, and he had no idea what he had done with his bags.
"RON! WHERE ARE MY BAGS?!" Harry shrieked. Ron looked back at Harry.
"I don't know mate, maybe with mi- WHERE ARE MY BAGS?! OH NO!"
Both boys started running around the castle looking for their bags behind doors, under chairs, in tables, but their bags were nowhere to be found.
Ron looked at Harry, panicked.
"Harry. Were our bags in the car?" he said with wide balls of sight.
"Yours definitely were bruv...but where could mine be? ....The little gray room?"
Ron ignored Harry's comment about the gray room and ran straight out the castle and out of the big wooden doors where the car was, completely burned, a large chunk of charcoal. Ron tried to open the door but it just fell off so he dove into the car, going straight to the back of the car to look for his bags. Harry followed him calmly, still thinking about where his bags could be.
"HARRY! MY BAGS! THEY'RE ALL BURNED UP! MY MUMS GOING TO KILL ME!!" Ron said, starting to cry. Harry rolled his spheres at the carnelian colored boy.
"Thats great Ron, I think i left my bags in some strange house. There were disgusting fly people there." Harry shuddered at the memory. Ron was completely ignoring Harry as he held some of the ashes from his bags, bawling.
"Come on Ron, we need to find your brother so we can get to our rooms." Harry said, grabbing the back of Rons shirt dragging him out of the car. Ron kept crying as Harry dragged him through the big doors and back into the castle where another red-headed guy was standing. He was tall and looked like a nerd.
"Ron? Why are you crying?" the orange man asked. Harry looked down at his companion and then back at the taller boy.
"His bags got burned up and he's worried about his mum killing him or something of the sort," Harry explained, "Who are you bruv?"
"Im Percy. I was told to find you two and tell you the code to get into the Gunnindoor dorms," Percy said, "Um, you said his bags...burned up?"
Harry had let go of Ron's shirt at the point, and now the boy was curled up on the ground hyperventilating.
"Yeah, must've happened when the car caught fire, shortly after he broke his glock. It was wild mate."
"The car? Was it Dad's Mercedes - Benz S- class car?"
"I don't know mate, I don't fancy that car stuff."
Percy looked down at Ron and yanked him up by the shirt.
"Ron! Did you steal Mum and Dad's car?! And then blow it up?!" he screamed.
Ron couldn't do anything but cry and frantically nod his head. Percy let go of Ron's shirt and glared at Harry.
"You're some kind of bad influence, Ron wouldn't just do that."
"Um actually bruv, it was his idea to take the car. You cant just accuse me like that mate." Harry said. Percy scoffed at him.
"I doubt it. Rons are usually very well behaved. It must've been your fault, and now you're accusing my brother while he's unable to defend himself," Percy stated.
"No, i already told you, it was completely his idea you stupid muppet. Why aren't you listening to what I'm saying!?" Harry replied, getting angry. Percy glared harder, before his optic globes widened at something.
"You have a head hole...Are you Harry Pooter?" he inquired, sounding a little less mad.
"Uh, yes? How do you know that mate?"
Percy didn't say anything to that and looked down at his brother, sighing.
"Let me see your glock ron." Percy said, holding his hand out. Ron sheepishly passed his broken glock to percy, the barrel was cracked and bent backwards.
Percy groaned and inspected the glock. "Ron, you know Mom and dad wont be able to afford a new shooter for you, especially after they have to pay for that car you stole!"
Ron nodded and his head hung low.
"I guess I should take you two to the dorms. Follow me." percy said, pashing the glock back to Ron and turning on his heel and walking towards some stairs.
"Ron, get up you tosser." Harry said, kicking Ron in the legs. Ron scrambled, got up and followed Percy while Harry took up the rear, looking around for Footsock. They followed the prefect up the stairs to where the painting was and he started pressing buttons to the keypad.
"The code is 12345, don't forget it or you won't be able to get in. And you cannot tell anyone that isn't a Gunnindoor the code, or else." Percy threatened.
"Or else what?" Harry retaliated,
"You die."
Ron and Harry nodded and the painting slid open like a door and all three boys walked through.
"Mum has been wondering about you. She said she can't find her car, her and dad have been stranded at the train station for nearly a week and a half. She keeps writing me letters, i've been telling her to just go out to the parking lot and look harder, but now I know you stole it!" Percy seemed frustrated and stressed as he led the boys into a big room, decorated with red and gold banners.
Ron cringed and wailed out "Oh mum really will kill me!"
Percy nodded solemnly.
"Mum will probably give ya a pair of cement shoes if you catch my drift." Percy said, making a cross over his heart. Ron frowned.
Harry looked around the room, many people were chatting, gambling and playing cards. In the center of the room against the wall, a large hearth with golden flames was roaring, heating the room.
Harry turned back to the red haired brothers, he had been tuning them out but now Ron was on his knees, showing Percy his broken pistol again.
"Ugh Ron, i don't know how to help you, you are in so much trouble! Late to school, not only stole the car, but you crashed it and exploded it, and you burned all your bags, and you broke your glock! How am I supposed to help you!"
Ron started rocking back and forth on his knees, taking calming deep breaths.
Percy closed his sight marbles and thought for a moment. "Okay Ron, i think i can get you out of this, let me go write a note to mom. It's night now so make sure you stay in the common rooms, you'll get in alot of trouble if you get caught running around the school right now." Percy put a calming hand on Rons shoulder and walked to the corner of the room, and began putting together newspaper clippings, to make a note.
"You're a failure Ron." Harry said, shaking his head. "But excuse me if you will, I need to find Footsock." Harry turned on his heel and walked out of the common room, into the large corridors.
"FOOTSOCK! FOOTSOCK! WHERE ARE YOU MY SCALEY GODDESS?" Harry called out, his British voice echoing through the empty stone corridors.
Harry wandered the hall for a while, calling for his armored friend.
"Footsock!?"
Harry wandered the halls for a good 30 minutes before he ran into Dummydoor.
Dummydoor was upset with Harry, scolding him for being out so late. Harry pretended to cry and said he was lost, so Dummydoor guided Harry back to the Gunnindoor common room.
"Go to bed Harry" Dummydoor said with a twinkle in his twinkling orbs.
Harry went to bed, he lay in his four poster, staring at the ceiling.
"Where could she be..?" he whispered to himself. Harry looked over at Ron who was sound asleep. And snoring loudly. He sat up and looked at the other three guys that he and Ron were sharing a room with. Also sleeping soundly.
Harry got out of bed, unable to sleep, and went down to the common room. He sat in a big chair next to the fireplace and stared out the window.
"Who are you?"
Harry jumped and looked over to where he had heard the voice. He saw a girl that was his age who had really big frizzy hair and brown looking balls.
"Wot do you mean who am I? You dont know who I am?" Harry questioned. The girl rolled her vision spheres.
"Why in the world would I know who you are?" she said, annoyed,"Just tell me your name," she said, rolling her orbs again. Harry glared at her.
"I'm bloody Harry Pooter. Everyone knows who I am!"
"Apparently not everyone, although I have read about you. I'm Hermione Grunger."
"I didn't ask you silly girl. Go away."
Hermione didn't like that.
"I'm studying, thank you!"
"Go study in your bloody room,"
Harry commanded, looking back to the window.
"I cannot study in there, all those girls snore extremely loud," she explained, opening her books and putting her paper and pencil down.
"My roommates snore loudly too, or at least one of them does."
"I didn't ask," Hermione stated.
Harry's head whipped around so fast his brain almost flew out.
Hermione smiled sarcastically at him and turned to her book.
Harry tried to be angsty and ignore Hermione, but he found it increasingly difficult, she kept breathing and turning the pages of her book.
"Go away Hermione." Harry said, turning back to the frizzy haired, buck toothed girl.
Hermione bristled and stood up, book still in her hand. She walked over to Harry and looked him in the sight organs.
"Make me." She whispered, the sour breath from her bronchi ghosted over Harry's glasses.
Harry resisted the urge to wrap his fingers around Hermione's neck and strangle the daylights out of her.
"Okay," Harry said and calmly grabbed the switchblade that was taped under the chair he was sitting on. Hermione reached into her poofy hair and pulled out a switchblade as well. Hermione backed up and began to walk a slow circle with Harry, they both gave a few experimental swings at each other. Neither of them had been in an actual knife fight before, this was new territory and they were both nervous. Hermione lunged forward and sliced at Harry's stomach, He sucked his tummy in and glared at Hermione because his shirt was slashed. Harry grit his teeth and spun around, while spinning he swiped at Hermione, who barely dodged the blade. Harry ran forward, he shoved Hermione's knife to the ground and grabbed her shoulder, then Harry pushed the blade deep into her belly, his hand was covered in Hermione's velvet blood. Hermione gasped and looked down.
"That didn't even hurt." she taunted, tears squirting out of her orbs.
"Wot, yes it did! You're crying like a baby!"
"Nope!"
Harry pulled the knife out and Hermione gasped again, clutching at her belly.
"Wot about this?" Harry said as he stabbed her in the stomach again.
"Your pitiful stabs feel like a summer's breeze!" Harmione shouted.
Harry rolled his blinkers and pulled the knife out again. Hermione stood up, one hand clutching her stomach, the other reached out to shake Harry's hand.
"You are a formidable foe, we should be friends." Hermione said, shaking Harry's hand.
"Yeah, wotever bruves," he said, wiping his hand off on the chair. He looked at his new teammate and turned to walk up to his room. Hermione watched him the entire time, not taking her lookers off him until the door to the boys dorm shut.
Harry grabbed some tape and taped Rons mouth shut so he wouldn't be so loud when he was snoring, and then he got into bed and went to sleep.