Tw: Mention of abortion
Y/n Pov
Sex with Lip was the best sex of my life. Yes, I'm only seventeen, so my sexual experiences aren't that of a grown adult. But I live in Manchester, so I can guarantee that my sex life has been much more colourful than that of a southern lady. With Lip, everything was perfect. Our bodies connected instantly, each and every atom fixing together like a jigsaw, like it was meant to be.
However, as we all know, sex can have consequences. And I'm not talking about the walk of shame, or even the soreness of the morning after. Now, this was bigger than all those things. And right now, I'd take a raw vagina anyway over my current state of affairs
"Shit shit shit shit shit" I mumbled, pacing up and down infront of my foster mum Veronica. Her and kev have been fostering me since I was 12. They talked about adoption but it wasn't possible since my parents refused to sign over their rights. And we couldn't afford to go about it any other way. It didn't matter though. They were there for me, Foster, adoption, biological, what's the difference? I'm loved, and they know how to show it
"Calm down sweetheart. You're making me dizzy pacing up and down like that" Veronica sighed as I slumped on the sofa, my head in my hands
"I'm in deep shit. You can't tell kev. You just cant" I begged her as we heard him opening the door. She didn't have time to object as kev walked in
"Hiya darling. What you doing home?" He asked. I was supposed to be at school
"She got sent home early. Felt sick" Veronica lied. Truth is, I did a test at school, and went home in a right state. After all, finding out you're pregnant as a teenager isn't just a walk in the park
"Now, do you really feel sick? Or was it Monday blues?"
"No. I was really sick. Like, on the brink of death" I told him, as he chuckled, kissing the top of my head
"I'll be back in a min" I said, racing upstairs. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to tell Lip. He deserved to know. That's a lie. I mean, he did deserve to know. But the main reason I wanted to tell him is so I wouldn't feel so alone
I called him numerous times until he finally answered
Lip: babe, are you alright? Ian said he saw you get sent home. Has something happened?
Y/n: you've got to come home. Please Lip. I can't wait another three hours to see you
Lip: why? What's going on?
Y/n: you and your cock, that's what's going on. I'm fucking pregnant Lip. Look, ugh, just come home and we can talk about it. Please, I don't wanna be alone right now. V knows but now kevs home, she can hardly sit and cry with me
Lip: are you joking?
Y/n: I fucking wish
Lip; right, ye, ye ill, er, ill come home. I'll be there as soon as I can
Forty minutes later, the door opened. I could hear kev telling Lip I was sick but I ran downstairs, standing infront of them both
"I feel better now" I stated, grabbing lips hand and pulling him upstairs
"Oi! Keep that door open! I mean it y/n!" He yelled up to me, however I almost slammed the door from stress. Once it was just the two of us, we lay side by side on my bed, staring up at the ceiling
"We are utterly fucked" I muttered
"How can you know for sure?" He asked, leaning up on his elbow
"I've done four tests Lip. I know the shops round here a dodgy but the chances of all four being wrong is highly unlikely" I sighed, sitting up and running my hand through my hair
"Marry me"
"Fuck off. I'm not marrying ya just because I'm pregnant lip"
"What else am I supposed to do then?" He asked, clearly just as stressed as me
"I...I...I don't know. OK? I don't know. I still can't believe it. We were so careful. I'm on the pill. You use condoms. It isn't fair! Kev and Veronica are trying for a baby with no luck, and here I am, knocked up at seventeen." I was now stood up, looking at myself in my mirror on the wall, wiping away the tears that just kept pouring. As I spoke, Lip stood up, wrapping his arms around me from behind and lightly kissing my neck
"It's OK. It'll all be OK. Look, we'll make an appointment at the doctors and find out how far along you are. Then, we can start talking about our options"
"Options?" I asked, spinning around to face him, my hands on his upper arms as he held my waist. I hadn't even considered not keeping the baby
"I'm gonna be with you no matter what you decide. If you don't want to keep it, and it's still early enough to do so, then I'll hold your hand through whatever pill or operation you have to go through. And if you want to give it up for adoption, me and you will find the best parents for the kid. If you want to keep the baby, then I promise, I'm going to be the best dad. I may not have alot of money y/n, but I know that I'll love our kid more than anyone else ever could"
"And what about you? What do you want? Ignoring everything. If it was your body, if you had the final decision, what would you want to do?" I asked him
"If it was my body then I'd retake biology" he laughed as I playfully hit his chest
"Lip. Be serious. Come on" I whined as he smirked
"If I had the final say, then I would get an abortion. I'm not forcing you to, and it's your choice. I just think, we're both better than this life. We've worked too hard to be stuck on this estate for the rest of our lives. We always said we'd get out of it, together. Find a nice house, in a nice neighbourhood. I still want that. I'm not saying it won't be possible with a baby. I'm just saying, I think we can have more babies when we're ready, and give those kids a better life than we ever had. What about you? What do you think?"
"I think you're right. I think it'll be the hardest thing we ever have to do, but it's what's best. If we raised this kid, then we'd be stuck in the same cycle as everybody else around here. I don't want that for us. I want a future with a big house and lots of kids. Kids who don't have to worry about social services knocking on their door and how they can make money just to eat"
He nodded, a small tear leaving his eye. I wiped it with the back of my thumb, kissing his cheek delicately as he wrapped his arms around me, encasing me in a much needed hug. After a while of watching stupid romantic comedies, we went downstairs, his arm around my waist
Kev and Veronica were stood at the bottom of the stairs, their arms folded, bring us to a halt. I looked at lip who looked just as confused
"We want a word" kev said, walking into the living room. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and followed them, the four of us now sat in the living room as my knee bounced up and down nervously
"Are you pregnant?" He asked. I couldn't even look him in the eye as I nodded, staring at the carpet
"How far along?"
"We don't know" Lip answered for me
"So you've had unprotected sex more than once?"
"No. It wasn't like that kev. I always use a condom, honest. And y/ns on the pill. It just happened"
"Darling, look at me" he said. With teary eyes, I looked up, staring at him, my lip quivering
"I'm not angry. You're both good kids and I know you'll make the right decision for you, whatever that might be," he told me and I nodded, swallowing my saliva and answering
"I want an abortion. If I'm not too far along. If I am too far, then I don't want to put it up for adoption. I don't think I could live knowing I had a kid that I didn't even know. I couldn't do it"
"I'll book you an appointment at the clinic sweetheart. You've only found out this afternoon so just sleep on it. I'm not saying this is the wrong decision. But it is a big one. You need more than a few hours to make a decision" Veronica explained. Lip held my hand as we both nodded in understanding. After a short while longer, Lip left to look after Liam and I was sat on the sofa in Veronica's arms
"I'm gonna go to bed early. I don't feel great" I said quietly, leaving as they wished me goodnight. When I lay down in bed, my door opened and kev walked in, sitting on the edge of my bed as he held my hand
"Darling, are you alright?" I quickly shook my head, breaking down into tears as I sat up, hugging him tightly
"It'll all be OK sweetheart. Things like this, they have a funny way of sorting themselves out. Youll see. I just wish you told me. I want you to be able to come to me about these things. Im always here for you, about anything"
"I didn't want to dissapoint you" he pulled away, kissing the top of my forehead and looking into my eyes
"You're my little girl. Nothing you do or say could ever dissapoint me. Because I'm the proudest father in the fucking world. I don't tell you often enough, but I am proud and I do love you. So much"
"I love you too" he kissed my cheek and then left, not before ruffling my hair
A week later, I was sat in the clinic, Lip by my side as the nurse handed me a pill
"So, I just take this and then it's over?" I asked
"You'll have some cramps and heavy bleeding. And you'll have to come back in a week for another pill, just to flush the fetus out of your system. If you get a temperature, then I suggest going to rhe hospital. However don't be alarmed by sickness"
I looked over at lip who held my hand, clutching it tightly as both our eyes brimmed with tears. I wasn't sure if i could do it. I wasn't sure if I could take it. On one hand, if I take this, then I get a fresh start with Lip. We can have kids when we're stable. And those kids will grow up with 10x what we had. On the other hand, I couldn't stop picturing what our baby would look like. I couldn't stop imagining Lip, holding our child in his arms
That night, I lay on my side in bed. Lip was planning on staying over. He was never usually allowed but kev said it would be alright. However, Liam and debbie had developed a stomach bug. Ian said he could look after them but I told Lip he could go and help. After all, they needed him more than I did.
As I was crying, I pulled my duvet off my legs and got out of bed. Slowly, I walked towards kev and Veronica's room.
"Hmm" Veronica mumbled, confused as to what was happening
"Are you decent?" I asked them both in a hoarse whisper
"Yes sweetheart. Come here. You're never too old for a cuddle" Veronica said, opening her arms. I climbed over them, getting in the middle and into Veronica's arms
"I'm proud of you" she whispered
"That makes one of us"
"You don't regret it do you?" Kev asked suddenly
"No no. It isn't like that. I know I made the right decision. I've given me and lip a good chance in life. But, I didn't realise I'd feel so guilty. I keep picturing the child I would've had with lip and I can't get the image out of my head" I cried quietly, holding onto Veronica even more
"I know sweetheart. That child will still exist darling. You and lip, you'll still get to be parents. But this way, when you do eventually have a baby, he or she will get to grow up in a nice house, with spare bedrooms for all their toys. And they'll have a back garden to play in, and a street where they can ride their bikes without you worrying about their safety. They'll get a stable childhood" Veronica explained, making me cry even more as I smiled against her chest
"I love that idea. I don't regret the abortion V. No option I chose was going to be easy, was it?"
"I'm afraid not sweetheart. Get some rest love. Its been a long day and I know you didn't sleep much at all last night" she kissed the top of my head, and there I was, falling asleep inbetween my parents, just like when I was a kid