Prologue
Rodolphus, which Delphi had always called her "father," and Euphemia, who had always insisted on being called Ma'am or Mrs., were not more than a family and slightly taken aback whenever Delphi mentioned the idea of parents or the word, "family" itself. But when Delphi appeared into the grey, tall flat, as she stood certain with will power, almost delirious with the news. She showed them the Ministry parchment clutched triumphantly in her fist and steeled herself for an inevitable spat. Prepared herself to win a battle for the very first time.
"And what is that supposed to be?" Euphemia spat, a wry look from Rodolphus, peering over her shoulder.
"An affirmation, confirmation, and a detailed document of my existence."
"My freedom, if you will-"
"She thinks she's smart," she scoffs then quickly murmurs.
"I think I could be, well, could've been with the right education and I've decided I want to seek that out for myself."
Euphemia exchanges looks with Rodolphus then back to Delphi once again who had cocked her head ever so slightly.
"And how is this going to happen... you know, education costs money, you'll need a job as a start and most likely a place to stay which now you have neither," she says through gritted teeth as she grabs the paper out of her hands.
"Give it back," Delphi glares up and down, not letting her eyes leave even for a second.
"And what does it matter to you?"
"That you have your name on a fancy piece of paper and what looks like auto generated words- does that give you freedom?"
"No," Delphi shakes her head, "it doesn't."
"But I'd like to think it means one thing."
"And what is that?" Euphemia asks coldly.
"It means I have a family out there somewhere and by now they have to be looking for me."
"You stupid girl," she spat, "don't you remember what we told you the last time you asked?"
"You don't have a family."
"You never did and you never will and that's the truth so if this document gives you anything it's affirming the facts that you are always alone."
"Alone," Delphi repeats, "No, I think I'm the farthest thing from alone."
Rodolphus chimes in, muttering something to Euphemia before retorting to, "We figured you'd pull this trick and we know exactly how to handle it."
Still, she attempted to earn a new piece of information, just as Rodolphus pushed passed her practically sprinted up the stairs. They kept on running out of excuses, she knew that she was far more clever than they interpreted. And she knew exactly when and how to get the key point out and exposed.
"You're wrong," she says, rubbing hands together, kicking the carpet at her feet.
"How so?"
"I know what you're doing, you've made the same excuses for far too long and I can handle it so why don't you tell me the news or the gossip or whatever you've been hiding for eighteen years in that head of yours."
"You want to know?" Euphemia scoffs, "Even if I told you, I frankly don't think you could handle it."
Rodolphus comes barreling down the stairs carrying suitcases and pushing the rest down with his feet.
He points to the door then spells, "Out."
Euphemia looked both sheepish and like she was trying not to smile, which Rodolphus counted as a win.
Delphi stood by the door, clothes spilling out from beneath her arms, trying to keep little trinkets from falling and breaking. "One more thing," she questions.
"And Rodolphus. Dad. Lestrange. Just how many dragons had you fought off by the time you were my age? How many fears, losses, failures? How many wars?"
"Just one," he replies slyly, not changing the tone in his voice. Euphemia was glaring. It only fired up Delphi more.
"What a pity because I could've sworn you've been imprisoned more than once and you, Euphemia, aren't you already in rough waters for that incident back at Hogwarts in ninety-ninety seven, I believe it was-"
"And I know much more from where that came from..."
"Get out," Euphemia says as she points to the door, "Get out you godforsaken child!"
"Perhaps you're right," she mutters, "Rodolphus if news were to get out..."
"At least the dementors are gone."
She successfully won and her own worries somewhat alleviated, Delphi disapparated again before they could start throwing curses and hexes on the spot.
*
Afterall, it was their fault, they started this. They were the ones who told me about The Prophecy, the infamous "gold" they would call it. Told me how it was perfect and how it came to be. Eventually why I was left in their care and how I had to bring back the dead to solve my problems even though they would be the farthest from solved. It was their fault I was in this situation in the first place. It was always what I had to do and how I had to do rather than what I wanted to do. And I should've been doing "normal" things and not staying imprisoned at the shy age nineteen, well- almost twenty now since I've lost track of the date and I was never good at maths. And here I am stuck with little to no education, in a room smaller than the bane of my existence, and I still don't have a family, no matter how hard I try to find one.
Not to mention the levels of abuse I've experienced at such a young age, including, the Cruciatus curse, many more which I can't place the name of. I'm pretty sure not one thing they've done is legal but that's not the worst part, it's that they lied in court, trying to give me a life sentence but there wasn't that much evidence.
Of course I was sentenced to only half but I still feel the fire that raged inside me the day of my trial. I remember not being able to breath and needing to drink water every five seconds. The stress of it all caused me to have a panic attack in the showers. I mean- if I have the chance to blame them for it all, I'd do it everyday, all over again, in a constant loop. But that wasn't the chance I was offered, I had to earn trust first to even begin down that road.
So here I stood, trying to answer the question I never thought would come, "Do you want help, Delphi?" I didn't think anyone gave a shit, but clearly in just this one scenario, I was wrong.
"Thank you," I repeat.
"It's a kind offer, I'm just not sure if I'm ready."
He nods slowly, "I understand and I'm sure this is out of the blue but I want to help."
"I'm an auror, it's what we do," he replies.
"But you never had in the past so... I guess my question is- why now?"
"Why not?" He asks, comfortingly with a smile.
I shake my head, "Delphini?" He asks once more.
"It's just Delphi," my own voice came out strong and sure. A good thing, that, because I certainly didn't feel it.
When Draco had gotten his auror assignment, it had taken constant berating from the Ministry to finally accept it, he didn't want to revisit the trauma that took a toll on his family, rather he couldn't but he managed to put that beside him. It wasn't like he'd had a whole lot of time to question the implications of it all. If he'd had time to think about it, though, he still wouldn't have known what to expect, really, and now he was faced with Delphi and he didn't know how to feel. He knew he had to be there for her; they were family by blood not by choice. Beyond that, he was, if he did say so himself, a master at changing, he had all the experience in the world. He learned the do's and don'ts of forgiving and revenge and anything in between. So she'd picked up a few more tricks in between and a better understanding as well. You couldn't believe everything you were the same, though. Draco was the example; maybe Delphi had a chance in this world or at least the next.
But he definitely hadn't realised that Delphini looked very different. She was a few years older now and she looked it, standing a little taller than he remembered. Her hair was no longer a vibrant silver-blue colour but rather faded and matted into clumps; she clearly didn't care, not that she ever did, but definitely not anymore. Hence the fact she was being imprisoned. Her eyes were tired and stared at the ground, not daring to look up at any sentence he spoke. Although he could tell that she was listening intently. In fact, Delphi didn't look a bit like Augurey or the witch with telekinetic and levitating powers. She looked like a broken soul who might have a chance. She didn't look like the daughter of the Dark Lord or the infamous Bellatrix Lestrange, it was the first time she looked like her own person and maybe imprisonment is just what she needed. It was comforting.
"I'm your cousin," he states, trying to shake his thoughts.
"By blood not by choice."
It was as if she could read minds, "Let's start over- it's a pleasure to meet you Delphi."
"Pleasure," she replies.
"Pleasure," Draco replies, Delphi saw no point in getting to know him, why not years before but now they have all the time in the world.
Delphi wasn't cruel for cruelty's sake, even to her so-called blood relative who'd been incarcerated himself many years ago even though they weren't for multiple counts of Unforgivables and conspiracy to undo the very fabric of the world through time-travel. He wasn't going to tell her outright that she was never going to be his family even if she didn't toughen up a little. But Draco thought she was plenty tough. Tough didn't mean indiscriminately acting like an arse to people. Her ethos was more like, Make life absolute hell for the people who deserve it, but nobody else.
"Just let me know if you need anything."
"You just want information, is that it?"
He shakes his head, "The beginning would be a start."
*
And so Delphi began her journey of telling little stories here and there that eventually combined into a reason that was real enough for Draco to accept.
"I wrote letters- I probably shouldn't have but I felt like it was needed."
"It wasn't as if anyone was going to read it," she laughed to herself.
"Maybe it was an apology, trying to make sense of what happened," she pauses, "it's just- it happened all so fast and I didn't realise until it was too late how to fix it."
"I don't know how to fix it anymore, I thought I did, I went through all of these ideas, musings in my head but none of them could explain how I felt."
"Nothing could make it better."
Delphi wasn't sure whether Draco was still listening or not, but it didn't matter now. All that mattered was she was able to finally get the words out. She let a tear run down her cheek, casting shadows on her high cheekbones, which was irritatingly lasting long enough until a voice asked, "Are you okay?"
They didn't exchange another word until the next week, when Draco fixed Delphi some dinner.
"I don't understand- I- what did I do to deserve this?"
"Everyone deserves a meal on Christmas Eve," he replies, cracking a smile.
She sighs then drops her head into her hands. "I don't even know what day it is?"
"It's okay, that's why I want to help you, I don't want this for you."
"Why?"
"Why?" He repeats, "You shouldn't be here- not in Azkaban, you shouldn't be compared to the rest here."
"The Ministry agrees, that is why I'm determined to change your fate."
It felt slightly strange that Draco was so courteous; Delphi would not have expected that out of any relative, really. She hasn't in the past, she supposed she must be lonely. Certainly Delphi would have been in the same situation. She knew Draco lost his family shortly after the battle and barely saw his son anymore due to spending Christmas at Hogwarts or any occasion he could get. So she supposed he's in a very similar situation, possibly even the same. Delphi made a mental note of that before nodding to herself, silently.
"Thank you." Delphi said to the rest of the group, mostly Draco and the guards who were listening almost too intently.
"Thank you again," Delphi said.
"I've never had a real Christmas, you know..."
"Euphemia didn't celebrate Christmas, at least not with me. Maybe with her, Augurey," she laughs- no, breathes.
"And well- Rodolphus never stayed around that much... not when I was there at least."
"Did you say Rodolphus?" Draco questions as Delphi nods. "Rodolphus Lestrange?"
"Yes," She pauses then winces to herself, "that's the part of my life that I wish to forget."
"How so?" Draco says as he continues to pace and tap his fingers along his side.
"I don't want to be known for Rodolphus Lestrange."
She scoffs, "He caused me nothing but hurt and pain my entire life."
"Your entire life?" Draco asks, "How were we not aware of this?"
"You didn't mention any of this in your trial."
"I didn't want to," she replies, "I didn't want to re-visit the trauma let alone stand confronted and accused."
"Being tried and convicted guilty," she murmurs.
"And Euphemia?"
"She pretended to be a mother but she was far from it."
"I think she liked the attention to be completely honest, once she found out she had the chance to take care of the Dark Lord's offspring, she took it."
"She wanted power and nothing else."
"If you think about it, we're not all that different," Delphi replies then shrugs.
"No- you wanted a family and maybe power was the way to get it," Draco says then changes to, "They weren't your family, Delphi. They hardly took care of you from what you've said."
"And even if you are right, they did the bare minimum; sheets and a bed, a place to stay for a while but not in the long run. Did you ever feel safe?"
"Were you safe?"
She doesn't respond but instead shakes her head. It didn't matter because he was right. Maybe there were moments but that didn't change the abuse Delphi suffered. The pain that was forced upon her, the fear that kept on growing. It was as if she just witnessed another punishment, as if she hadn't already received the lot of them.
Delphi had only one chance at her life. She was forced into a home that wasn't a home at all and of course that only made her crack under pressure. She wasn't cold or even cruel, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and unfortunately that had dire consequences.
"Did they hurt you?"
She doesn't answer.
"They were the ones who told you about The Prophecy and the time-turners- could you help me feel in the blanks, please?"
"They were the ones who told me well- everything. What I had to do, they told me as the last chance they could get."
"It was like they had been waiting for that moment the entirety of their lives."
"It was belittling, is what it was."
Another silence.
"And when you hurt others, was that the same?" Draco asks.
She shakes her head then cringes again. "It wasn't the same, maybe in a sense but we had different motivations."
"Euphemia and Rodolphus only wanted power, I wanted something different out of it, I wanted freedom."
"And do you feel that's the only way you could get it?"
"Yes, I wanted some guidance, that's all. Plus I'd change everything if I could."
Draco looks taken aback then adds, "You would?"
"Yes, any second, I felt... I don't know how I felt, I suppose just nothingness, I was empty."
"I didn't feel how I thought I would."
"I'm sorry but how did you think you would feel?"
Delphi sighed. "I don't know, something different, maybe something to make sense of it all but nothing came then I was just there staring back at my reflection not knowing what the hell to do next."
"What did you do next?"
"You know- went into screening after I was captured then the process of picking up the pieces of what was left."
"How did you feel then?" He asks.
"Strange. It was almost as if I was in a fever dream, I don't really know how to explain it other than oblivion."
"Yeah, I understand the Azkaban process can be rough." Draco studied Delphi. She was clearly attempting to sound normal, but there was a tell-tale warble in her throat like she was going to start crying again. "But it still could be worse, yeah? At least there aren't any Dementors anymore."
She smiles. "Dementors can't take anything away from me," she said, "if you don't have a soul with any good memories and nothing to feel happy about."
It seemed unnecessary from Draco to point out well they could still kill you so he decided against it by changing the course of conversation.
"And what about the trial, how did you feel then?"
"It was definitely the loneliest day of my life."
Draco nods. "What did you feel when you heard Euphemia's statement?"
She looks around for a moment before replying with, "I don't think I felt anything- it was based on lies and arrangements, I think I blocked the whole thing out."
"She was the one who kept my identity away from me for so many years- fourteen, that's how long I didn't know my name."
"I questioned her about my birth certificate when I finally found it buried in a box under her bed, of course she was furious, I endured quite the lashing that day but nothing compared to Rodolphus."
"Once I figured out my parents didn't even pick my first name of course I wanted to change it but no one listened, with the history of my last names, no one ever seems to listen."
"I mean- who was going to answer the report from the girl whose mother killed more people than numbers she could count," she scoffs.
"So I suppose I wasn't cut out for this world, not in the way everyone else is."
Yeah, Draco thought, The Minister of Magic would definitely look into a young girl wanting to change her name with her surname either Riddle or Lestrange.
"Delphinus is a constellation or a star. It's the Greek word for a dolphin."
"Is it?"
"So maybe it's not all that bad. I mean- look at me and I turned out fine," he laughs.
"Yeah, one of the two. It must have been my mother who picked it. That whole family really goes in for star names."
"You must be right. I never realised," Draco quietly replies.
"Thank you."
"Delphi it is."
While Delphi hadn't exactly said Draco could call her that, she found it was kind of nice for someone else to speak your name, even if she still thought it was fairly horrible as names went.
"Nice to meet you, too, Draco."
*
Delphi needed someone to talk to, clearly, but more or less her entire support network post-trauma was the muggle internet and well- the family augurey, but that didn't count as much. And she couldn't exactly Apparate into Euphemia's apartment and be like, "Can I talk to your pet as a use of therapy? To save me from the trauma the both of you caused to officiate possibly." Euphemia and Roddolphus were useless. Delphi hated them, but she was just a kid. Nobody liked to talk about matters of her trauma with a guard; at least Delphi didn't. SHe never really had friends or had the opportunity to make them. The extent of other prisoners' advice were limited meanwhile, was usually something along the lines of, "Sounds like you had a shitty childhood and even worse adulting." Delphi could both see them and hear them in her mind: Euphemia contorting her face into what she clearly believed was a horrible grimace.
But, all that aside, not everyone did understand Delphi. If anything, about a solid eighty percent of all the people she had met had seemed to always turn away or question every sentence that she spoke. And what if she had a normal childhood?
Would it have been any different?
Delphi had brooded over it all day; the thoughts were still weighing heavily on her mind by the time Draco visited that evening.
"What's wrong?" Draco asked as Delphi leaned against the frame of the cot, pressing her back into the cold metal.
"I've been thinking," the words came out of her mouth easily.
"About anything in particular?" Draco asked after a pause.
Delphi's blood turned to ice, she wasn't seriously considering talking about this to someone she just met, was she? But if Delphi was planning on that, she didn't let on. She imagined Draco complaining to her as she was about to do to him, she couldn't picture it. She wondered if their roles were switched, if she was visiting him in Azkaban instead of the prior. She walked over to the invisible wall and sat down cross-legged in front of Draco. "About my release."
"I know- I know what they said but I was wondering if I should have taken their offer."
Draco sighs, "Yes, I know it meant a lesser sentence but it wasn't exactly the best of situations."
"I'm really sorry," Draco replies. Not knowing what he's sorry for, of course Delphi had doubts, every prisoner did in one way or another. He supposes what he feels is guilt, maybe for not helping her sooner. Maybe if he showed up a couple years back at the steps of Euphemia Rowle's apartment, maybe things would be different. Maybe Scorpius wouldn't have night terrors almost every night and have to see a mind healer and maybe Albus wouldn't have that limp. But that was in the past and there was nothing to do but move on and forget.
"No need to be," she said. "The Ministry is corrupt."
When Draco shot her an inquisitive glance, Delphi then replies, "I just didn't want to be stuck in another situation I couldn't get out of."
"What happened to me at trial wasn't exactly fair," she explains, "I know I probably deserved it but even after I was convicted, I would have thought their lies would've been brought to justice."
"But I was wrong." She rolled her eyes like even thinking their names annoyed her.
"Sometimes you can't change people no matter how hard you want to," Draco said. "You were just a kid, you can't blame yourself for their mistakes."
"We were all kids once," Delphi sounded longing for the past she never had.
"You're right," he replies. "Now all we can do is grow up."
Delphi processed that with a look on her face that could have broken Draco's heart.
"All the same," Delphi continued after a while, "I contend that people will hurt you, no matter the age or gender or last name, if you like."
She looks back at her surroundings, her so-called room. It wasn't much but it was hers.
"I didn't have any friends or anyone, really," she said. "Anyone human, I mean. There was this little window up in my room and the augurey came sometimes."
"So I liked to talk to it, I know it wasn't socialising but at least it was something different."
Draco felt his heart twist again; with what he didn't entirely know. Sympathy, probably. Pity, maybe.
A month passed, then another, and all of a sudden it was slightly better.
"I'm glad you're here," Delphi said simply.
"You know," Delphi said, "I'm glad there aren't Dementors now."
They laughed together. Draco didn't know what to say, but perhaps he didn't need to say anything much.
He knew she thought she was a ghost, dead already, a former fragment of an imagination, and she let them think that. Nothing good could come of the truth.