"DOCTOR!" (y/n) screamed as the doctor keeled over. (y/n) rushed to her side immediately, like she had the first time it happened.
she was there before the others had even registered something was wrong.
"i'm alright." the doctor grasped onto (y/n)'s hand. "i'm alright."
"doctor, no you're not. you've keeled over twice now. what's wrong?" (y/n) began tearing up. "and don't lie to me. because i know you doctor, i know you."
the doctor's eyes met (y/n)'s and the (y/h/c) saw the vulnerability in the blonde's eyes. (y/n)'s heart sped up at how much she loved those eyes.
"doc are you alright?" graham cried, snapping (y/n) out of her thoughts. (y/n) let out a shaky sigh and wiped the few tears that had fallen quickly.
"i'm fine." she stood up. "(y/n), look at me. i'm fine."
(y/n) looked into the doctor's eyes again. her eyes held a look, one she recognized well.
'i'll tell you later.' the doctor mouthed discreetly. she nodded and (y/n) relaxed a bit.
she was worried. the time lord that stood in front of her had been known to neglect her own needs in favor of other peoples time and time again, and (y/n) couldn't bare to watch it happen. she'd been traveling with the doctor for ages, long before she was a woman.
later couldn't come fast enough, and time sure dragged on when (y/n) was trying to act engaged until she could get the doctor alone. when she finally did, they were both out of breath.
"alright, it's later." (y/n) grunted out through her pants. "spill it. what's going on, doctor? why are you keeling over."
"i'm sorry. i don't want to alarm the others, but (y/n) there are other aliens here. i saw them. like they were being, sort of, broadcast in my mind. they didn't look human, and i bet they have something to do with the partition." the doctor sucked in a breath. "i don't want to get involved because it's yaz's personal timeline, and let's face it, the universe would be a cold, dark place without yaz. but (y/n), i think it has to do with why her nanny is marrying a man who isn't her grandad."
(y/n) tried not to focus on the words. 'the universe would be a cold, dark place without yaz.' they weren't the point of their talk, and the statement was true. so why did it hurt (y/n) so much to hear her say?
"doctor, if there's aliens in pakistan, we've got bigger problems than yaz's timeline. we've crossed our own timelines before, as long as we can keep her out of it, we can save her." (y/n)'s voice broke. yaz was her best friend, the thought of losing her was to much.
"we will save her, i won't let anything happen to her." the doctor declared. although (y/n) agreed with the sentiment, she wilted slightly at the look in the doctor's eyes when she spoke of yaz.
it was something she had noticed before, the way the doctor seemed slightly more protective of their dark haired companion, and it broke her heart every time.
"what's wrong?" the doctor tore (y/n) out of her thoughts. "are you alright?"
(y/n) shook her head slightly.
"yeah, don't worry about me." she forced a smile. "this is about yaz."
the doctor tilted her head.
"but you're upset?" the doctor spoke as if she was asking a question. "it's always about you, (y/n)."
(y/n) smiled weakly.
"i'm ok, doctor." she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, the doctor or herself. but instead of waiting for the doctor to say anything else, (y/n) jogged ahead and continued on.
the doctor couldn't stop thinking about it. the way (y/n)'s eyes dulled slightly at the mention of certain things. how her smile didn't quite light up her face the way it had before.
"i love weddings." (y/n) and ryan were talking casually. "they're just so beautiful."
"never been a fan. also never been to a real one before." ryan shrugged and (y/n) looked horrified. "don't give me that look."
"you've never been to a wedding before? well, we've got to fix that! doctor, ryan's never been to a wedding before!" (y/n) cried. the doctor shook her head, smiling. "maybe after we sort things out here we can go to, i don't know, the royal wedding or something?"
the doctor laughed. she shook her head.
"nah. i mean, we could go to the royal wedding. if you really wanted to, but the wedding you really want to go to is kim kardashian's fourth wedding!" (y/n) and ryan cocked their heads. "maybe that's still in your future. personally i don't think it's gonna last. but the wedding was amazing, even better the second time around."
"doctor, what?" (y/n) asked.
"i was there twice!" the doctor shook her head. "no, sorry. that's not important right now, (y/n) can i talk to you for a second?"
the doctor grabbed (y/n) by the wrist and dragged her out of the barn where the group stood.
"alright, spill." (y/n) furrowed her eyebrows. "don't give me that look. you've been off all day, your smile doesn't reach your eyes. your eyes usually shine brighter than every star in the universe and right now you look defeated."
"i-i don't know." (y/n) couldn't speak. her heart was beating out of her chest. "what do you mean brighter than the stars?"
"just that. you get this look in your eyes when we travel. it's a look of amazement, and wonder, and it's the most amazing thing i've ever seen and i don't like that you look so sad right now. even if you don't realize it, you look wilted. and-and i can't stand seeing you like this." the doctor hesitated, but reached out for (y/n)'s hand. "please. just talk to me. i want to see that beautiful smile again."
(y/n) smiled slightly. it was genuine this time. the doctor took a small breath and relaxed slightly, knowing that she was getting her (y/n) back.
"i'm sorry doctor." (y/n) whispered. "i'm not sad. i'm really not sad, doctor."
"then what is it? tell me, because i don't understand. all i know is that you're hurting, and i don't want to see you hurting. i want to stop it. i want to make you not hurt and i don't want you to hurt ever again!" the doctors voice got progressively louder and (y/n) was shocked at how protective she was getting.
"it's kinda stupid." (y/n) took a deep breath, knowing the doctor wouldn't let her get out of answering the question. "the way you talk about yaz. how protective you get over her, and how much you care for her. i've never had someone care for me that much before, even though i care for people that much."
"you-you think i don't care for you?"
"no, that's not it. i know you do. but we all see the way you look at yaz, doctor. we all know what that look means. and caring for someone, in that way, is hard when they don't care for you in return." (y/n)'s voice was small. the doctor didn't like how uncertain she sounded.
"i care for you."
"doctor, i know you do. i don't think you understand what i'm trying to say." she sighed.
"no, i understand perfectly what you're saying. i do care for you, (y/n). more than ryan, more than graham, more than yaz, more than i've ever cared for anybody in all my life. lives." the doctor chuckled. "and i've had a lot of them."
"you, what?"
"i know what you're trying to say, (y/n). and i'm trying to tell you that i care for you too. more than anyone, more than you know." the doctor squeezed her hand. "i'm not good with words."
(y/n) smiled. a real, genuine smile.
"but why?"
"because you're you. you're special." the doctor shrugged. "i don't really know why. i know that when you smile, i would do anything to keep you smiling forever. when i see you cry, it makes me feel some type of way and i would pull apart universes to make you better. when you laugh my chest feels warm and fuzzy inside and when you hold my hand, i'd do anything to never have to let go."
(y/n) felt a tear fall.
"i-i didn't know."
"yeah, well now you do." the doctor chuckled. "are you feeling better?"
(y/n) nodded.
"i'm sorry. i told you, it was kinda stupid."
"if it upsets you, it's not stupid." the doctor suddenly yanked (y/n) in for a hug. she squeezed her human and held on tight. "i care for you (y/n). i always have."
"i care for you too doctor. thank you." (y/n) breathed a sigh of relief knowing that even if she couldn't say it, the doctor felt the same way. "thank you."
they both relaxed into each other. right where they were meant to me.