I kneel up over the toilet vomiting, I just woke up...My throat is burning and my eyes are heavy and my head is pounding really really bad. What a great start to my day.
"Natalie." I call out for her as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
"I'm up, Darling, I'm here, it's alright." She walks into the bathroom quickly, she walks over gathering my hair to hold it back with one hand as the other goes to my head.
I kneel up again vomiting some more, coughing as some tears spill down my face. I drank a little too much last night, I told Floyd go back to work after we spoke and I may have been really upset and overthought our who conversation...I bought alcohol in the store. Natalie gives me money a lot and while it shouldn't be spent on alcohol...I was upset sand didn't think.
"That's it, good girl, get it up." Natalie bends down rubbing my back gently.
"Don't call me that right now—I'm vomiting over the toilet." I give out to her with a little weep. Of course Natalie has my location since we share it incase of emergencies...and she doesn't trust Josephine so she quite literally tracked me down.
"Yes ma'am, sorry." She lets out a breath and I roll my eyes as she keeps rubbing my back. I put my own hand to my head.
"You're alright, it's alright. It's just the alcohol." She kisses the back of my head, she should be hiding away from me since I'm vomiting and looking terrible over a toilet. But no...Natalie decides to hold my hair back for me and kiss the back of my head.
She concerns me sometimes in the best ways.
"I'm never drinking again." I whisper and she hums.
"Good." She says and I huff dropping my head a little, I am still exhausted. I have been asleep since like....I don't know but sometime yesterday, really early.
"I think it's all up." I mumble and she lets go of my hair.
"Alright then, up we get. You need to shower, brush your teeth and rest for another while if you need it." She leans over flushing the toilet.
"Ugh..." I groan and she sighs, helping me up.
✺
Me and Josephine watch a movie on the couch, Natalie took the day off work and decided to stop by her Moms to see how she's doing, she also wanted stop by the store on her way home. She has been gone for awhile which is fine but I also wouldn't mind her hurrying up a little.
It's awkward, really awkward and I don't think I've moved in thirty minutes, yesterday in the car with Josephine there was a lot I found out...that she probably has feelings for me so Natalie was right. I didn't have the time to tell her today.
It's upsetting though, I thought Josephine was just a friend and that Natalie was overthinking but of course Josephine thinks of it as more.
My phone buzzes and I snatch it up quickly hoping it's Natalie randomly deciding to tell me she's on her way home.
Arabella
Hi love, hope all is well today and you are feeling better after last night. Floyd spoke to me about you needing a job, I'm actually a fashion director at a company called Vivir, I'm looking for an assistant at the moment so I thought you might be interested. If you are, message me back and I can definitely squeeze an interview in some time next week.
I look at Arabella's message, Natalie told me she actually done modelling for her friend Victoria before and I have definitely heard of Vivir—it's actually quite a big company, Charlie used to love their stuff, he always wanted to go to one of their shows.
Diana
Hi Bella!! I'm feeling much better, thank you and thank Floyd for me again. Is there a chance you could give me a little more detail over message or will you just tell me at the interview? I'm very interested!!
Arabella
It's quite straightforward actually. It isn't too hard of a job either, I'm sure you will catch on quickly, you will work closely with me, manage my meetings and all that kind of stuff, I would like to talk about that more in person because there is many other things you will be required to do. I do know you're going through some things now, so I understand if you really need some days off. Victoria is quite strict so I'll keep quiet about you missing any days as best I can!
Diana
Do you even want to interview me?
I laugh a little at my joking response before she replies.
Arabella
I don't think I need to! I trust you and I know you're in need of a job and I would rather Victoria not hire an assistant for me.
Diana
Do I work all week?
Arabella
No, Mondays to Fridays, 8am—4pm, some days you may have to work later with me and some shorter depending on what's going on. Recently it's mostly research, coming up with new ideas, designing etc. But there may be fashion shows that I have to attend out of town on the weekends which you will accompany me at.
Diana
I will take the job if you are offering it
Arabella
Perfect!!!! We do have a lot to discuss before you start so could we possible meet this Saturday?
Diana
Saturday it is!!
I smile dropping my phone to my lap, again, Arabella and Floyd saving my life in some way.
I can't wait to get some money and plan a date for me and Natalie, it may take a few pay checks so I don't know how long that might be but I want to take her somewhere fancy and get her nice things like she always does for me.
"Is that Natalie?" Josephine speaks up causing my heart to stop beating for a second which frightens me. I glance to her before I shake my head in response.
"Oh, no." I say pulling my fluffy blanket over myself more. I look to her again and she looks back at me, she holds my eye contact and I wait for her to break it but she doesn't so I look away first.
"Josephine." I huff looking at the couch.
"Why are you saying my name like that?" She lowers her voice moving closer down the couch to me, I sit back away from her. I hate this—I really do. I don't like how she's suddenly being weird around me. I want to go back to just talking normally to her without any awkwardness.
"Because..."
"You never answered my question yesterday." She says, again quietly. I glance to her before looking away again.
"Which one, you asked a lot." I mumble looking down to my hands as I fidget with them.
"About me overhearing you two, did you want me to?" She put her hand down on the couch, right beside my blanket and I can't move away anymore since I'm at the end of the couch.
"I don't know." Stand up, Diana.
"Do you really not know or are you too nervous to tell the truth?" She asks. I bite my lip shrugging. My hands are sweating and shaking, I shut them tightly.
"Natalie wanted you to hear, hoping you would realise she could make me...feel better than you thought you could since she thought you wanted to touch me that way." I blurt out hoping she will stop now, I am nervous, not good nervous, bad nervous like I'm doing something wrong but I'm doing nothing. I should have ignored her—seriously, she's talking about it all of a sudden and—
"What would you say if I did want to do that?" She questions and my eyes go to hers, meeting her dark brown eyes.
"I...Natalie—"
"I can keep a secret." She tells me searching my eyes and I keep looking at her for a second, does she think I want to...What does she mean by a secret—fuck—I know what she means. This is terrible—Natalie please come home—I would allow her to smack Josephine right now because clearly something has gotten into her. Why so sudden too?
"I don't want a secret." I shake my head confused, I don't know what else to say now...I had a secret relationship with Natalie and it was exciting but this is so different, not a good kind.
"Josephine, do you have feelings for me?" I ask her, we're past that point but I still feel the need to ask her. Just to hear it be confirmed—possibly denied!
"Yes, yeah, Diana, I do. Has it not been obvious?" She questions and I bite my lip, her eyes drift to my lips, I let go quickly looking away.
"Josephine...You were my professor—"
"Do you not think how we met was a bit coincidental? Maybe it meant something?" She asks and I shake my head. I ran into her—who haven't I run into?
"No, no, I just—I'm clumsy I've bumped into a bunch of people like that including Natalie numerous times."
"What about those times in my office? When we would just talk, did you really feel nothing?" She moves closer and I search her eyes quickly, did I feel something? Was I supposed to? Maybe I did and I didn't realise it...
"I don't know, maybe I did but—"
"Do you not think she's toxic? Taking you in her office to make me jealous?" She questions and I lift my shoulders quickly, I don't know—I don't know what does she want me to say—my heart is slipping up my throat, I feel claustrophobic seriously—this is not good because I've already threw up this morning from a hangover and I possibly could throw up right now. I'm also not comfortable talking about sex—especially to her and especially because she heard me and Natalie. I really hope she didn't at least hear what I was saying to Natalie.
"She's not good for you. I don't think she's ever been. She flirted with a cop just a couple of days ago, didn't she? I would never go to the lengths of doing that, did that not hurt you?" She asks and I look at her. No...it didn't.
"No, it didn't mean anything." My heart pounds in my chest harder, I'm beginning to freak out, I can't get up and run like I always want to do in any situation I feel overwhelmed in because this is me and Natalie's house—oh my god, I can't breathe.
"It always drives me crazy seeing her put her hands on you the way I wish I could." She says to me, Natalie might murder her seriously this time. I can't get away with murder—I would be an accomplice—we're both going to end up on trial for murder and it's going to come out that we were teacher and student—holy shit I'm gonna spend my life in prison because I can't stop befriending my teachers. My mind is racing through thoughts and thoughts because she's looking at me like she's..hungry.
"Josephine, I don't think—"
"I would never use you to make someone jealous, I would never flirt with another person to get out of a difficult situation I put us in." Her hand goes to my arm and I search her eyes. Her eyes go to my lips and mine go to hers before back at her. She's touching me—do I have permission to punch her? Maybe I should but I actually think I'm frozen—my body isn't letting me move because I'm thinking about secrets, murder, prison? I can't survive in there, I would beaten up once I step foot in there.
"Why are you saying all this all of a sudden?" I ask, my voice is so heavy—I'm breathing like a pug, they breathe really heavy—Jane wanted to get one before and that is so besides the point of what I should be thinking about.
"Because I'm tired of it. Do you believe she can touch you better than I can?" She questions, I cringe—I cringe badly before her hand brushes my face, moving my hair back..I really can't move. My whole body feels likes it's shaking.
"I don't know. I really don't—"
"Diana—"
"Josephine. Stop, please."
"Does she really love you or is it just lust?" She questions getting closer and I begin to freak out more—I need to get up badly but I can't move! I wish this was a dream—I really wish it was.
"It's love." I breathe out.
"Let me show you what love is." She whispers. Does she know the definition of love? I don't but I want to say Natalie has shown me what love is..My head hurts really badly.
I look at her for a few seconds, my heart feeling as if it's in my throat as I try process whatever is going on. Okay—I need to move.
Just as I get the strength to her lips are on mine.
No—what—fuck.
I pull back, my hand smacking her across the face hard and quick before I can process anything.
I gasp standing up, I don't mean to my body just moves. I block my own mouth in shock at my own actions—that hurt my hand. Her hand goes to her face as she stands up, my own eyes filling with tears—very unwelcome ones as I feel like every part of my body is hurting—I didn't kiss her. But she still kissed me—her lips still touched mine, only Natalie's are supposed to do that—shit, Natalie.
I hear the front door unlocking as Josephine steps back just as she was going to move towards me. I run over to the living room door, opening it.
I don't even look in the direction of the front door. I run straight up the stairs, trying to keep my balance as my legs feel like they're shaking and I'm definitely going to be sick.
That was cheating—a woman kissed me—I pulled back immediately, yeah—but Natalie's not going to know that...how is she supposed to believe it?
Oh god—I'm going to lose her—I can't tell her—maybe Josephine won't say a word. Guilt and worry is taking over my body right now—and definitely stress.
I hear Natalie calling me downstairs and I run to the bathroom, I fall to my knees in front of the toilet vomiting. Oh god—oh my fucking god—this is bad which is an understatement.
What the hell just happened? I told her not to—did I? Why didn't I? Fuck!
This is so so bad, Natalie is going to hate me—she's never going to forgive me—She's probably going to dump me—take back the ring—I'm never going to see her again.
I vomit more, my throat burning as I begin crying both from the vomiting and because of everything. I shouldn't have eaten so much today but hangovers make me really hungry for some weird reason and stress makes me vomit.
"Oh shit." I hear Natalie's voice as she drops something.
I wipe my mouth, sitting back from the toilet as I quickly shake my head at her as she rushes into the bathroom. She stops, looking down at me.
"It's alright—I'm not afraid of vomit, darling." She laughs a little and I shake my head as I begin crying more—she's never going to laugh with me again—we're never gonna grow old together—we're never gonna read books on rocking chairs on a little farm while the sun is setting.
"No—baby, I just need to clean myself up—go downstairs." I say, my voice shaking, my heart is beating so fast I'm afraid it might explode. Please don't hate me. She doesn't move as she keeps looking at me. I look away because I can't look at her, I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt as Josephine's lips on my mine replays in my head over and over.
She turns around leaving the bathroom and I let out a shaky breath, wiping my tears with my palms. I have to tell her—but I don't want to lose her. I can't lose Natalie. She's the one good thing I have, the best thing and I can't handle losing her. I really can't, not Natalie.
She comes back inside the bathroom and my heart keeps pounding, beating too fast almost like Sadie when she would run off the leash in a park. I'm trying to think happy so I stop crying but I can't. I can't lose the love of the my life—she's the only reason I have the strength in the morning that she's so proud of me for.
"Come on, do you want another shower? Are you feeling sick? Do you need a doctor?" She asks me, walking over to me and I just look up at her. She searches my eyes, while hers look at mine fully of worry and I just stare for a second. I don't want that look in her eye to go away completely.
"I love you." I whisper and she bends down beside me.
"Did you take something?" She asks, panicking suddenly and I shake my head.
"No—no, I just...I love you." I look at her and she lifts my jaw, I melt into her touch immediately, moving my shaky hand to her wrist. She left Olivia, she's going to leave me. I'm not better than Olivia and I never have been—Olivia is much prettier.
"Diana, I mean it if you've taken something you need to tell me—"
"Natalie, I didn't take anything." I lean forward a little to look at her closer and she wipes more tears that fall from my eyes.
"Your breath stinks, beautiful. Brush your teeth." She smiles at me a little, I cry and laugh at the same time. She starts laughing too, pulling me against her.
I wrap my arms around her, taking in the familiar and comfortable smell from her, that strong scent that reminds me of dark roses with thorns, it's a dark but beautiful scent. I can't lose this, I really can't handle it, not even the thought.
Natalie's been cheated on before...by her wife, who she kicked out right away and she cut off her best friend after finding out she also done stuff with her ex wife...She doesn't speak to her own brother.
I'm not even her wife, I've known her two years. Natalie trusts me—yeah, but she's had a bad feeling from the start with Josephine. This is all my fault, now I'm losing Natalie.
I'll tell her...soon.
"Can you shower with me after I brush my teeth?" I ask, my shaky still weak as her hand goes to my lower back and her other leans over flushing the toilet.
"Yes, I will. Are you feeling weak?" She ask and I close my eyes.
"No, I just want to shower with you, I like our showers." I turn whispering in her ear and her arms tighten around me.
"I do too." She whispers back.
✺
I sit down on the bed in my robe as Natalie fixes her pyjama shirt in front of the vanity before picking up her towel and sitting down at the chair.
I wipe my nose, I need to tell her. The guilt is killing me, the thought of losing her is worse. We done stuff in the shower, but it wasn't like usual...it was slow, my kisses lingering on her skin, she of course done her dirty talk but it was in little whispers. It was probably our last time, if she doesn't believe me about this. I mean there's a chance she will but she told me so many times at the start she was afraid of this exact thing happening again. That's why she was so hesitant with me, even after graduation.
There's so many reasons why she wouldn't believe me, she's been betrayed before, Josephine has been flirting, she's been touchy and she was also my teacher...Natalie could think of it as me wanting something more new...I don't know but my lips shouldn't have met another woman's, I didn't do it—Josephine did but still, I feel so guilty. I ruin everything good I have, I lose everybody important to me so this...I expected it some way or another.
Natalie dries her hair a little with a towel before leaning closer to the mirror.
"Diana." She says, moving her hair back. My heart drops—does she know?
"Yeah?" I ask, my voice coming out quietly.
I don't even know if Josephine is still here, she might have left. I slapped her...but she could be waiting to talk to me.
"Was there a need for all these hickeys? I have work tomorrow!" She says and I nip at my lip, I got carried away. I lingered too much, I think I was crying, I couldn't tell because of the water from the shower. I made sure Natalie didn't notice either way.
"Natalie." I speak, my voice almost coming out as a gasp as I inhale. She glances over to me.
"Yes, you absolute idiot?" She stands walking closer to me, I shake my head at her and she stops.
"Why do you keep doing that?" She questions stepping back back from me. I wipe my hands off my robe.
"I just..." I suck in a breathe looking at the floor.
"What? You've done it twice now except for in the shower when you wanted me on top of you almost." She says, humming and I run my hands up my face before through my damp hair, I look up trying to meet her eye but I can't do it. I look away straight away.
"What was that?" She hums again.
"Nothing." I shake my head, my hands scrunch my robe a little. I can't do it.
She's going to kick me out, she's never going to want to speak to me again. Will I even be able to explain myself?
"No, no—tell me. Look me in the eye, Diana." She says and I look up at her, my heart pounding. She squints slightly.
"What are you not telling me?" She puts her hands on her hips, looking at me suspiciously, it's not serious, she thinks it's something stupid. I wish it was.
"Natalie, I...It wasn't my fault, okay, at least I don't think..." I huff looking to the floor, I move my hands to my neck.
"What are you talking about?" She questions and I take a big breath in.
"Kiss me, just once more...just in case." I keep my eyes on the floor, she steps closer immediately leaning down and lifting my chin up. I look at her, almost flinching at the way she looks at me—it's just...a look of love, nothing but love and that slight bit of concern. Her eyes are bright, that bright green with a little brown—so different to when I first met her, her eyes are the kind of bright that could light up a long dark tunnel. Ones that brightens up my heart when it feels so dull.
"Beautiful, what's wrong?" She smiles moving my hair behind my ear, I keep looking at her even though my eyes burn and slowly fill with tears. If only I could drown in them right now..
"Kiss me please." I whisper, she furrows her eyebrows as she closes her eyes and presses her lips to mine, warming and slowing my pounding heart. Her lips soft against mine, the kiss that every time, always feels right. Never once have I kissed Natalie and felt the way I did when Josephine kissed me, with Natalie, it's just...different everything is different with her in the best way ever.
She pulls back looking at me as I open my eyes slowly.
"Now, come on, tell your beautiful wife what's wrong." She puts her hands to my legs, squeezing as she looks at me. She gives me a little reassuring smile and I wish she wouldn't, it makes it so much harder. I don't want to break her heart, she might not believe me.
"Okay...But you can't leave this room, you can't leave without us talking it through." She says and her smile slowly fades.
"Diana—"
"You can't storm off and get angry at Josephine."
"Diana." She pulls back and I stand quickly.
"She kissed me—"
"Oh my fucking god—"
"Stop—you need to let me talk—don't end us yet, let me explain my side of the story." I look at her and she searches my eyes quickly, she looks offended—she doesn't believe me already.
"You better not fucking lie to me, Diana." She says stepping closer and I drop my shoulders.
"I'm not—She asked me yesterday about us—the whole office thing when she heard us—and again when Maria was here. I didn't tell you then because I was drunk and forgot about it but from what she said I realised you were right about her having feelings. Then today I was hungover and I should have told you but you went to your moms—and it's not your fault, I know you wanted to go to your moms and I could have told you before so it's all on me—"
"Oh, I know that." She scoffs and my heart drops a little, I look at her and she raises her eyebrows waiting for me to go on, her eyes are tearing up—no, please. She's going to cry—she's already crying—I really fucked this up, Natalie doesn't cry. I'm making her cry.
"When you left we just stayed in the living room, I didn't even speak to her until she asked was it you texting me when Arabella was. She moved closer—and I moved back to the end of the couch. She started asking about us having sex again and talking about how it drives her crazy seeing you touch me the way she wants to—"
"Fucking—"
"Natalie." I cut her off wanting to finish telling her what happened, she doesn't look at me as she crosses her arms looking at the wall—she's angry—so angry. I swear I see a tear falling but she faces away from me for a moment.
"She asked about us being love or lust, I told her it was love and then she said she wanted to show me what love actually was—she kissed me—I pulled back, baby, I really did. I slapped her too." I step forward and she looks to me, she steps away from me shaking her head.
"Don't baby me." She says looking away again, my heart sinks as I let out a sob.
"I'm not lying—I'm not. Natalie—"
"You don't let another woman kiss you—"
"I didn't let her! She—"
"Then take your fiancée for a shower and beg her to touch you and kiss you—while keeping this shit from her! You just fucking begged me to kiss you! Jesus Christ, Diana!" She raises her voice and I step back as tears flood my eyes, leaving my eyes like waterfall, not stopping as I keep sobbing.
"I told you I didn't kiss her—I wouldn't do that to you, I love you too much for that—I told Josephine that myself." I say and she turns around, she begins pacing, she turns back to me and my shoulders shake as I begin crying.
"You said you didn't kiss her, why are you crying? Why the fuck didn't you tell me the moment I came home?" She shouts and I step back again as she gets closer, the back of my legs hit the end of the bed.
"Because I knew you wouldn't believe me! I wanted to get to kiss you one last time and I got carried away!" I keep sobbing and she scoffs, I wipe my eyes, my breath hitching as I look at her.
"I wouldn't do that to you, Natalie. I really wouldn't." I sniffle. She goes to speak but makes eye contact with me, she shakes her head slightly at me before turning around.
"Natalie—don't walk away." I sob more and she ignores me, she pulls open the bedroom door leaving before shutting it, I flinch expecting it to slam.
I stand, following quickly, opening the bedroom door but I freeze spotting Josephine just leaving the guest bedroom with her bags...Natalie walks closer and my heart picks up.
"Natalie, don't—"
She slaps Josephine across the face, I even hear it and not quietly...I gasp a little as I block my mouth.
"Leaving so soon? You were just getting so comfortable." Natalie raises her voice at Josephine who keeps her head down, she goes to walk past Natalie but Natalie steps in front of her.
I fix my robe, tightening it as I step out of the bedroom.
"Fuck you." Josephine speaks up, she looks up glancing to me over Natalie's shoulder. Natalie glances back at me too.
"Can't handle rejection, is that why you're leaving?" Natalie crosses her arms looking back to Josephine...I stand still, watching. She believes me? Please say she believes me. Don't lie Josephine.
"You're not good for her, you've got her brainwashed—"
"Oh suck a dick, Josephine. You're more delusional than a man." Natalie scoffs, I wipe my eyes that refuse to stop tearing up.
"You force her to have sex with you to prove a point, you force her into these things out of jealousy." Josephine raises her voice and Natalie laughs.
"Says the pervert who listens, hm? Is that the shit you get off on? I don't force her into doing anything, see, Josephine...there's a thing people like to call consent, I make sure she's comfortable and agreeing with every single thing we do...including so little as a kiss. Now, tell me, you dumb son of a bitch, did she kiss you back? Or did she pull back because she didn't want it?" Natalie questions, I stay still while Josephine looks to the floor again making Natalie just step closer to her.
"Did you kiss her without her permission? Or did you ask before doing it? Come on, tell me how good of a girlfriend you would be for her, Josephine. Why not tell me about the things you would like to do to her? You were so insistent on doing it behind my back, don't be a pussy now." Natalie hums, I swallow the lump in my throat. I'm afraid she's going punch her...This is my fault.
"You know I would be better for her." Josephine speaks up and I huff dropping my shoulders.
"Better in bed too right? From what I heard? Well, seems like you you heard enough though...my name maybe? Never was it yours." Natalie leans closer to Josephine and I feel my face heating up before Josephine scoffs.
"What are you scoffing about? You never answered my question, did someone get rejected? Quite sad, isn't it? To be head over heels for a woman, to flirt with her right in front of her fiancée and look at her ass might I add...and still end up getting rejected. Such a shame with all the talk you were doing." Natalie says.
"Okay, Natalie." I speak up and she glances back at me over her shoulder.
"Do you love her, Diana? Did you want that kiss?" Natalie questions and my eyes go to Josephine, she looks sad—really sad. Guilt creeps up on me again. I shake my head looking to Natalie, feeling bad even though it's the truth.
"No, to both of the questions. I seen you as a friend Josephine, nothing more and that's really what hurts the most about it, thinking I had a friend when she was expecting more the whole time." I say and she looks away.
"Did you hear that, Josephine? Can you finally take the fucking hint?" Natalie asks again, her voice harsh and cold.
"She may have rejected me, but it won't be long until she leaves you." Josephine speaks before moving past Natalie, Natalie turns facing towards me as she watches Josephine walk away. Josephine doesn't even look to me as she makes her way down the stairs in a hurry.
I wipe a few more tears from my eyes.
I hear the front door slamming and I flinch, Natalie glances down the stairs keeping her arms crossed before she walks past me not even glancing my way.
"Natalie." I sniffle following her, I shut the bedroom door as she paces again.
"You heard what she said—"
"I don't want to talk." She cuts me off, dropping her arms as she walks over to our bed, I drop my shoulders wanting to sink to my knees and beg for forgiveness at this point. I need Charlie.
"What?"
"I said I do not want to talk. I'm angry...I can't speak to you right now, not when even though I don't want to care, I know how you get with yelling and I'm going to fucking..." She turns away from me shaking her head, is she crying?.. I can't tell. I need Charlie.
"I'm going out for awhile." I walk over to the closet quickly. I need—I can't. I don't know what's happening.
"Where, Diana, where could you possibly be off to?" She questions.
"I don't know, Natalie, but you don't want to talk and I need to cry a lot and I really fucking need Charlie right now but he's fucking dead." I say, it comes out more harshly than I meant it to.
"Alright, wait—"
"No, go to bed and don't speak to me since you don't want to. Don't feel guilty for letting your poor fiancée cry. This is my fault." I say and she stands up walking closer to me.
"I don't care what you done, don't storm off crying, if you need to cry...lay down—."
"No, I don't want to be here when I don't feel wanted by you right now—"
"You have to understand my situation. Don't..."
"I do! I really do but I'm overwhelmed by everything and it's not you I need to be with right now." I say and she sighs. Great I've guilted her into feeling bad—I didn't mean to, but my best friend is dead. The one person I had to turn to if something like this happened and at the moment, I feel like the whole world is against me, my own little world crumbling down piece by piece.
"Don't drink."
"I wasn't planning to."
"Be safe." She says and I sniffle nodding before she walks away.
A/n
It's 4am right now and I've spent the last couple of hours changing this chapter and adding and taking out things...this is the best it's going to get.
An early chapter though, I was planning to post this next week but I thought I'd let you all hate me a bit sooner.
At least Josephine is gone (for now 🤷♀️). I'm joking, I hope everyone has had a good weekend!!!