The door of the elevator opened. We had arrived at the cafeteria. I took a deep breath out of relief. Mary-Kate didn't wait for me to get out that she was already walking down the corridor ahead of me. I run-walked a little bit to get back to her level.
The cafeteria was a really large room. The mere amounts of people there made it look vacant.
The Row was not a large company in terms of headcount. It was simple, as I quickly learned from the paperwork I was handed this morning. The company was divided into two branches: the commercial branch, which handled sales, and the creative and design branch. We, the employees of the latter, didn't really interfere with the people in the commercial branch. And neither did Ashley and Mary-Kate. The creative branch consisted of Ashley and Mary-Kate, the bosses, and a team of 15 designers, including myself. Some members of the team have been working here ever since The Row was founded in 2006.
I looked around me and saw that some of the other employees were already having lunch together. I looked in their direction until a girl from the group made a hand sign telling me to join them. I hastily picked a salad, a cookie, and a Diet Coke from the counter and walked towards them.
"Hey, you're the new girl, aren't you?"
A man, probably in his mid-thirties, asked me.
I nodded, "Yes, this my first day."
"Come, sit with us," hailed the girl who had waved me over initially. I smiled and sat down with them around the table.
All fifteen employees were there. I was glad they welcomed me and that I didn't have to come on my own. I knew I would have been embarrassed and awkward.
"I'm Niguel, and this annoying chick here is Emily." She laughed and scolded him on his shoulder.
"I'm Ana." I smiled.
"Well Ana", panned Niguel, pretending to do a little curtsy. "Welcome to The Row." I laughed and we kept on making small talk while until we were done eating. We went outside and they said they were going to have a cigarette.
I never really smoked before but going with them right now would allow me to get to know them better and actually make room for me in their group.
"So Ana, have Mary-Kate already shared with you her bitchy behavior?" Emily questioned with a teasing tone.
Niguel scolded her. "Don't annoy her Emily, she hasn't even been working here for a day. "
Emily ignored him and looked back at me, waiting for me to reply.
"What do you mean?" I asked trying to avoid the question, not wanting to say something I shouldn't say on my first day.
Niguel cut Emily off, "Emily can't bear Mary-Kate." He explained.
"She's a bitch that's all I'm saying." Emily panned and rolled her eyes.
"I don't know, I didn't really talk to her actually, it was Ashley who took me in." I lied, not that I wanted to defend her. She was a bit odd in her behavior, but Ashley had warned me that she was like that around people she didn't know. I kind of hoped she was right.
"Oh how surprising that she didn't welcome you" Emily muttered.
I frowned and looked at Niguel, confused.
"Mary-Kate would never welcome a new employee. She has never done it before, that's all." He sighed. "Now stop Emily before you frighten the new girl." He smiled playfully and I smiled back .
Emily and Niguel kept talking when I started zoning out.
I observed the flow of people in the streets. It was all very loud with the horns of the taxis and black big cars echoing in my head. But, somehow, it was somehow also quiet at the same time. Everything was so big, with the dazzling building scratching the clouds and the yellowing leaves of the fall of Central Park appearing slightly in the background. People came and went so swiftly in front of me. I loved big cities more than anything. Nothing was about you in big cities, except that somehow, it still was. You could do whatever you wanted, nobody would care.
I kept on watching the streets until my eyes stopped on a certain blond girl smoking across the street. She was already looking in my direction before I met her eyes. She looked very small now compared to the skyscrapers.
She kept staring at me, leaving smoke escaping her lips every so often. I tried to figure her out. I tried to figure out why she was watching me and why it didn't seem to bother her that I had caught her in the act.
Anybody would have looked away, but she didn't, and for some reason, I didn't either.
A hand tapped lightly on my shoulder, which made me instantly turn back on my heels. "You okay there?" Niguel questioned and I acquiesced. "You seemed really out of it darling..." He playfully shrugged and sighed.
"See, Emily, this is why you shouldn't be allowed to talk to anyone here, especially new employees." He laughed and she scoffed before telling me that they were going to go back inside. "I'll meet you in a minute." I said and they left.
I swiftly turned back to looking at the streets, or more precisely to look at Mary-Kate again. My eyes wandered down the streets, looking for the blond girl's frame but I couldn't find her anymore. She was gone. Where could she have gone in such a short period of time? I kept on seeking for her but still, there was nothing. I checked one last time at the spot she was standing at, in vain.
"Looking for me?" A soft and quiet voice resonated from behind me.
I froze, my breath shallowing. I turned back on my heels to look at her.
"I... no..." My voice cracked.
Every time I was around her, I was anxious. I looked away, trying to escape her gaze as I was holding my unfinished cigarette.
"You want some fire?" She asked.
I looked back at her. "What?"
"Your cigarette is dying out." She clarified.
"Oh, umh, I don't smoke. I just wanted to fit in with the others so I went for a cigarette with them." I explained.
I don't know why I just admitted this to her. She frowned before the corners of her lips lifted up.
"I see..." She murmured, her eyes still locking with mine. "Don't put your health besides just to talk to people who don't even care about you." She stated, clearly criticizing Niguel and Emily.
She took another drag from her cigarette.
"You smoke too though." I remarked. I was smiling a little too now.
Her eyebrows went upwards, and her eyes widened a bit, smiling while she let out a small giggle. "It's already too late for me sweetheart. Just don't give in to the addiction, certainly not for them anyway."
I observed her again. "I should go back inside." I said and looked at the cigarette in my hand, wondering what I was going to do with it since it was almost not consumed.
"Give it to me." I looked at her.
She smirked at my confusion. "Just give me the cigarette. You're not going to go back inside with it, are you Ana?"
"No, no I won't" I mumbled.
"Then", she took a couple of steps towards me and placed her hand in front of me as a sign to hand her the cigarette.
Still confused by her actions, I slowly placed my cigarette between her two fingers, making sure not to make the burning side of the cigarette touch her skin. I looked at her small hand, then back at her face.
"I.. uh... I should go", and on that note, I went straight out through the door, taking a deep breath of relief once I was finally back inside.
What had just happened? If anything, when I got up this morning I would have imagined this is how today would turn out.
Mary-Kate is the most complicated and confusing woman I've ever met. Emily was maybe right. I have to stop letting her get to me like this, I spent too much time today thinking about her and her stupidly confusing behavior, and it was only my first day.
I went back to my office, at least to what is supposed to be my office for a while. I completed what I had to do and the end of the day arrived pretty fast. I read the greetings and policies that I had to sign that Ashley gave me and called it a day.
I hadn't seen nor heard from Mary-Kate the whole afternoon, which put my mind at rest a little bit since I wouldn't have to face her the whole afternoon, sitting at the desk in front of her.
Maybe I should have settled into Ashley's office after all. This whole situation is just a little bit too awkward already. Or maybe I was reading too much out of it.
I gathered my things and put them in my bag, then wrapped my scarf around my neck. It was already dark outside, from what I could perceive through the window. The lights of the buildings contrasted with the dark sky of New York.
I went to Ashley's office to make sure it was okay for me to go, and she said that I had even stayed longer than the other employees did. She informed me that Mary-Kate had left an hour ago already.
"Wait Ana, I'm heading off too, I'll walk you out," Ashley said from behind me when I had already started to walk towards the elevator.
I couldn't help but be relieved that I wasn't going to have to take the elevator by myself at night.
. . . .
I was exhausted. This first day had wiped off every ounce of energy I once had within me. As I walked back into my apartment, my little furry ball was mewling and gluing herself to my feet. I kneeled and took her in my arms.
"Hellooo my little Phoebe how was your day?" She started to try to get away from me, so I caressed the top of her small head one more time and let her go.
I dropped my bag on the floor and went straight to my bathroom. I took a shower to warm myself up and put on my pajamas. Then, I made myself dinner.
I started to think about the day and about how all of this was only the beginning. It was weird to consider that this wasn't just a trailer, it wasn't just going to be a mere one-time thing.
This would become my routine. I was going to see Ashley and Mary-Kate every single day, Emily and Niguel would be people that I'd get to know. And, I was going to become a smoker, at least for the time I make my marks and then I'd make something up like 'I'm trying to quit'.
After a while, I slid into my bed, succumbing to the softness of the white sheets, drifting off into a deep sleep.