Thank you so much for your nice comments! Here is chapter four!
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It had been several days since the incident, and Lan Wangji was finally allowed to walk wherever he pleased.
He had to be careful, though, as he was now under what Wen Qing liked to call 'house arrest'.
That meant watching him constantly and refusing to let him go anywhere outdoors whatsoever.
She made his diet strict, even though it already was, but his routine when it came to slumber was just the same. His meditative state as well.
Being inside nearly bored Lan Wangji to death, but A-Yuan's joyful presence and the Prince's cheerful smile kept him alive and well.
Lan Wangji could only hope he'd stay that way.
Wei Wuxian also liked to hang around the bed when Jiang Yanli brought him food.
He would talk rings about the soup he loved so much, while she ushered him out of the room.
The Princess was able to keep the secret, as well as A-Yuan.
They both did their best at pretending to not know who he really is.
Lan Wangji was grateful for their discretion, and everything was going well.
But the time also went downhill the longer he stayed there.
There had been more questions, more talking about how much Wei Wuxian wanted to see his face, and more that Lan Wangji wanted to run away from.
And the main problem was all the flirting.
Wei Wuxian had flirted with Lan Wangji constantly years ago, and he was doing it now. It humiliated him, and it also made him want to leave.
He had tried to convince him to take off the mask a number of times, and he was starting to give up on it, as Lan Wangji was too stubborn.
It turned out that not only the Queen wanted to speak to Wei Wuxian with Lan Xichen, but to Lan Wangji as well.
He nearly slipped up and told him the truth because of it.
Ever since Wei Wuxian asked if Lan Wangji had been there, Jiang Yanli was the only one to speak up.
Lan Wangji was thankful for her interference. It was obvious to her and everyone else in the room that he was too afraid to say anything.
When he asked about the man in the mask, he seemed hesitant, as if he were feeling guilty.
He must've felt that way since he'd have to stay around a total 'stranger' he didn't know while he missed someone else.
Lan Wangji wished that he was at home instead, sitting on his bed and reading the fantasy historical fiction books his brother had brought to him every once-in-a-while.
Lan Xichen guessed that he enjoyed the genre more than any other, and he was right.
Every now and then, he would move himself over to the sappy romance novels he had hidden beneath the floorboard beside his bed.
They weren't the erotic texts that the Prince had pranked him into looking at.
He had laughed himself to tears, watching Lan Wangji's ears flame. The blush had quickly migrated to his neck.
He hasn't been so embarrassed in his life.
He remembered how he stood to his feet with his sword half-unsheathed rapidly, rage in his light brown eyes.
There was no way he'd dare even glance at such a thing ever again.
No one had known that he snuck Emperor's Smile inside the Cloud Recesses as well.
If his uncle had known, he would've thrown a fit.
Lan Wangji would immediately be punished, whether he lifted a jar to his lips or not.
Just the smell of it made him grimace.
He didn't understand how Wei Wuxian could enjoy such a wine, or any alcoholic beverage at all.
If the Prince knew about it, he would most likely be shocked, but also amused, as he had done it multiple times.
He still purchased it outside of the Cloud Recesses, though.
He wanted to take something that reminded him of the Prince, and the wine he hadn't once opened made Lan Wangji think of him without fail.
His brother never punished him, even when he knew he deserved it.
Lan Wangji still believed that Wei Wuxian sees him as a friend. He never thought that Wei Wuxian wanted him to be a friend before he arrived to Yunmeng, but it was much better than nothing at all.
The Prince was moping around quite a bit when the Princess told him that he was nowhere to be seen.
The hope in his eyes was crushed when Jiang Yanli had told him the opposite of what he asked.
"Did you see Lan Zhan anywhere?!"
Lan Wangji wanted to tell him that he was really there and that he was the one laying down with a sprained foot.
But he felt that saying that would also cause a bit of a scandal.
With multiple people.
He really didn't want to join Wei Wuxian with the Queen.
By what he knows of her, she hates Wei Wuxian.
And because of that, Lan Wangji doesn't like her.
"She said that once you can move around again, she wants to talk, Pretty-Gege," the Prince had said at the foot of the bed.
Lan Wangji wanted nothing more than to get up already and leave.
The only time he would do so was to use the bathroom.
Wei Wuxian must've seen the horrified look on his face, because he laughed and added, "She's not so bad!"
Lan Wangji, for the first time, rolled his eyes and told him softly, "She hates you."
He has spoken with Wei Wuxian quite freely now.
His anxiety had gone down, but when it came to the Prince asking to show him his face, he would become silent.
The Prince of Yunmeng sighed and rested a hand on Lan Wangji's lap, which definitely made him jump.
All he did was laugh at every reaction he had to his teasing and touches.
He knew that Wei Wuxian would laugh even more if he could see the red ears.
Lan Wangji could tell that he wanted to take the mask off himself, but he wouldn't dare invade the privacy of someone like him.
"She does, but she still cares about me!"
Lan Wangji doubted it. He knows she'd throw Wei Wuxian out on the streets if she could and would never let him back in, no matter what.
He never knew the truth about why she hated him, so he couldn't completely judge her.
She may have had a reason.
The reason, Lan Wangji thought, is already ridiculous.
Judging was forbidden, anyway, but he couldn't help it. Anyone that hates or even once used to was stupid.
It was that simple.
Lan Wangji wanted to get this over with. He would speak to her, and then leave.
He unfortunately hoped that his brother was still in Lotus Pier. It would help him calm down, seeing him in the same room, but he also knew that he wouldn't be there.
He was the sect leader, and he had many duties to attend, and if his uncle knew of this, he would be concerned about Lan Wangji's injury, but mostly outraged.
So Lan Wangji could understand his brother's absence.
He had no idea how he was keeping the secret of Lan Wangji in Yunmeng away from their sect.
The only person that had entered the room other than the Prince, Princess and A-Yuan would be the doctor he had known for years.
Wen Qing had appeared again several times to check on Lan Wangji, as well as to scold him.
He knew that there would be scolding. He'd seen it before, and wasn't surprised in the slightest.
She looked almost the same with half of her hair pinned up, wearing the red robes of the Wen sect, and her threatening smile when it came to Wei Wuxian annoying her an ungodly amount of times.
"Don't call me that," Lan Wangji muttered. He didn't want to hear it from the Prince's mouth anymore.
It sounded fine when coming from A-Yuan, but from Wei Wuxian, it didn't sound right at all.
Lan Wangji always loved hearing him say his given name, like he did days ago, but he hasn't heard it since the Princess said that he wasn't actually there.
He loved the sound of Wei Wuxian's voice.
Loved was a great understatement.
He snickered, and faster than lightning, scooted closer and quickly leaned over Lan Wangji's body, not even giving him enough time to react.
He had finally been granted the permission to move, so Lan Wangji could stand up in order to resist him for once in his short life.
But the walking was still limited, according to Wen Qing.
And this time, Lan Wangji was unfortunately laying down, so Wei Wuxian had full access to approach him in any way he desired.
Lan Wangji knew that his main desire would be to pick on him, either to frustrate him, or to embarrass him. The Prince enjoyed the latter a lot more.
"Why not?" he murmured with a dark smirk, watching as Lan Wangji's golden eyes widened beneath the mask.
If Wei Wuxian could see the color of his fair ears rapidly changing from pink to red, he'd be laughing harder than ever.
The Prince was filled with glee at the startled reaction.
He knew that he'd love it even more if his mask was out of the way.
Lan Wangji knew that Wei Wuxian loved teasing him already, and he couldn't be surprised. He did that back then and doing it now must've been just as fun.
The teasing lasted for the months he was in Gusu, and Lan Wangji hated it. But later on, he found that he didn't mind it.
He missed it.
The man towering over him didn't change his expression, patiently waiting for Lan Wangji to snap at him, and he tried to ignore it.
He couldn't.
The Prince knew that the best reactions out of Lan Wangji would be from teasing him, and nothing else.
"Shameless!" he hissed in a whisper. Wei Wuxian ended up grinning and he cackled.
Lan Wangji wished that he wasn't so weak when it came to the Prince.
If Lan Xichen were here, Lan Wangji could bet that he would be watching in silence with a big smile.
He'd also be concerned, though.
He would still do anything to get Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian together.
The man dressed in white couldn't shove him off because his wrists had been quickly grabbed and pinned above his head.
He didn't see it coming, since this hasn't happened before: being under Wei Wuxian, arms pinned above his head, a blush that was migrating to his neck and fair cheeks.
The Prince would be the death of him.
Lan Wangji could still see that sadness glazed the Prince's eyes through the teasing.
Or was it longing?
Yearning?
Did he really miss Lan Wangji that much?
If so, why would he be messing with a 'stranger'?
That is, after years of being apart.
Their lips were so close.
If Wei Ying would just lean down one more inch...
Perhaps he had gotten over teasing Lan Wangji and decided to move on to some other man whose name he doesn't know.
Wei Wuxian whispered, "You know, you remind me of him," before losing his sunshine-like smile. That thick layer of sadness over his blood red irises swelled up.
Each day, Lan Wangji wanted to tell Wei Wuxian every single thing. There was no reason for him to hide, but he couldn't help but want to do it.
He didn't want to do it.
Every once-in-a-while, A-Yuan would come running into the room while Lan Wangji was alone and ask when the Prince could know everything, because he was getting impatient.
Lan Wangji noticed that A-Yuan was beginning to get frustrated with him, and it didn't make him happy.
It took several long moments before Lan Wangji managed to ask, "Who?"
The question was ludicrous, as the person Wei Wuxian was speaking about was the Second Jade himself.
There was no other to be mentioned.
Who else would Lan Wangji remind him of?
He had asked about him. A-Yuan had helped him figure it out.
Jiang Yanli had obviously known, and now Lan Wangji wasn't as dense as he was before.
The only person that had been mentioned when it came to being missed was the man hiding behind a golden Phoenix mask.
Wei Wuxian's eyes were sad and emotionless. The Prince slowly let go of him and breathed, "Nobody."
Lan Wangji watched as he leaned back and hesitantly released his wrists from his strong hands, which made him frown.
He was horrified to know that he wanted to be pinned down again.
Wei Wuxian hasn't done that to him before, and he wondered how he would be feeling if he ever did.
He wondered what it would be like if he pinned him down and onto a desk in the Library Pavilion.
He couldn't make his face stop burning.
He wished he kept his mouth shut. "Lan Wangji?" he blurted. He should've said his birth name or nothing since he had already heard it.
The red eyes snapped over to him and narrowed.
Lan Wangji could almost feel the blood drain from his face.
He felt like an idiot.
He is an idiot.
He should've said nothing.
He slightly leaned closer again, but this time, he wasn't teasing. "Do you know him?" he asked, quickly and quietly.
His voice was slightly strained and his eyes almost appeared to be filled with the colors that showed the different emotions.
Even though they were as red as freshly spilled blood, Lan Wangji could practically see the blue heartbreak and the green hope flashing.
Or could he have been imagining it?
When he looked into his eyes, he could still see the silvery grey swirling underneath. If he wasn't close enough, he'd see crimson.
The silver still stuck around after all of these years. Lan Wangji wondered if his eyes showed the brown, too.
Lan Wangji didn't know what to do with the Prince so close to him, and he tried to ignore it.
The gleaming red eyes of his were staring right into Lan Wangji's heart and soul.
Lan Wangji shook his head, "I've heard of him."
He hadn't purposely lied before, not once in his life, and saying 'I've heard of him', made this the first time.
He felt his golden eyes sting and begin to tear up. He swore to himself that he'd never do it, and he thought that it wouldn't happen at such a time and at this age.
He leaned back again and heaved a loud sigh.
Lan Wangji has felt enough pain for one day.
The Prince was no longer in a good, teasing mood, since Lan Wangji could see through his stinging, blurred eyes the white-knuckled curl of his fists resting on his thighs.
Wei Wuxian wanted nothing more than to see him at least once.
Lan Wangji opened his mouth, but the Prince stood up and backed away from the bed as if Lan Wangji was someone he couldn't be around. As if Lan Wangji was a deadly, contagious disease.
He furrowed his eyebrows and his vision just became worse as more tears were being added, threatening to spill over.
He stayed still, trying his best to keep them from falling.
He knew that he wouldn't be able to hold them back.
"Wei Ying," he whispered so quietly that he didn't think Wei Wuxian could hear it.
It was the first time Lan Wangji said that name to him after years, and he missed it. Both of them did.
He paused in his steps when he turned to leave the room and stood in silence. He kept his back turned for a long while.
Lan Wangji could see him visibly gulp.
His breathing became shallow and his throat was closing up. It was becoming difficult to take in the slightest bit of air.
Calling the Prince shameless, glaring at him, addressing him by his birth name.
They were all things he did in the past, and they were all things Wei Wuxian liked to see and hear.
No wonder he messed with him so much this past week.
He was finally starting to think about Lan Wangji, and his racing heart was starting to lose control of itself.
He had trouble battling back the lump in his throat to speak again, but the Prince did first.
"You know my given name?" he murmured, slightly turning his head to hardly look at him.
His eyes narrowed again, and this time, they were filled with tears.
Lan Wangji immediately felt a surge of alarm.
He had only seen Wei Wuxian cry once, and that was when he was leaving the Cloud Recesses for getting into a fist fight with Jin Zixuan.
He was only caring about his sister. He was just protecting her from the man he still dislikes.
And he was the one to be thrown out, out of every disrespectful student.
He didn't want to leave Lan Wangji behind, and Lan Wangji didn't want to lose him, either.
He never said anything, though, even when he knew he would most likely never see him again.
And at this very time, he was too afraid to say a single thing while he had the chance.
Just what had he done?!
He didn't know what to use as an excuse. He wasn't good with words, and seeing Wei Wuxian on the verge of tears made him lose his voice in an instant.
The handsome face with teary, upset eyes was a frighteningly terrible combination.
If a single tear fell, Lan Wangji would never forgive himself.
He wouldn't know what to do if Wei Wuxian cried because of him.
Lan Wangji hadn't upset him at all back when they were together.
Wei Wuxian turned around and glared daggers.
Lan Wangji's blood ran cold.
"Tell me, Your Highness," he hissed, "are you actually royalty?"
His harsh voice was full of doubt and Lan Wangji couldn't move his golden eyes away from him, as much as he wanted to.
The way he said it hurt, even when Lan Wangji wasn't even close to being Royal like Wei Wuxian is.
He had never spoken to him in that tone, and it made the crack in his heart grow.
Lan Wangji couldn't hold the tears back anymore and they finally fell. The burning in his eyes eased.
The sun was setting, and it was shining through the window behind Wei Wuxian, casting a golden hue over the soft colors that covered a great majority of the bedroom, like pink, pretty shades of blue, and the purple that covered most of the bedding.
Lan Wangji's white robe also appeared brighter.
What he found the most fascinating about it was how Wei Wuxian's long hair appeared golden as well. It shined brighter than anything else, and he suddenly wanted to see his eyes in that fashion.
He wondered whose bedroom it even was.
He snapped himself back to reality.
It made Lan Wangji's eyes twinkle, and it made the tears easy to see.
He knew that Wei Wuxian could easily spot them, but he doubted the Prince even cared.
He was a 'stranger', and if he didn't have the eyes of the last Phoenix, he wouldn't even be here in his presence.
He never had any idea that he was Lan Wangji, the White-Gege he so desperately wanted to meet again.
But to his surprise, Wei Wuxian's eyes softened, even if it was just a bit.
The Second Jade wouldn't lie to the Prince again, and A-Yuan and Jiang Yanli may be surprised to hear about Lan Wangji's quick admission to the Prince.
His frail heart was pounding in his chest, and it was getting ready to tear its way out.
He couldn't think of anything else to say. He could only weakly croak, "No."
It was the first time Lan Wangji cried in front of Wei Wuxian, and he wanted it to be the last. He knew well that there's no way it could happen, crying just once.
His secret wouldn't last much longer. He could be exposed in just one minute. It wasn't like they were enemies or anything.
But would Wei Wuxian get mad at him for hiding such a thing?
"I started to suspect that," Wei Wuxian murmured quietly. His gaze sharpened in on Lan Wangji, the tears fading. "And I've started to suspect you, too. There's just something about you."
He knew at this point Wei Wuxian would definitely be angry. If not, hurt. There was no way he could be excited to see him after the lies and discretion that had been placed right before his feet, only to have him slip, fall, and get hurt.
Because of Lan Wangji.
Hurting the Prince was the last thing Lan Wangji would want to do. He would sooner cut off his own arm than hurt him, especially on purpose.
The last time he cried, before he was outside with Lan Xichen, was soon after the Prince left his home. He cried, knowing that he'd never hear a single word from him again. He cried, knowing that his smile would never be directed his way. He cried, and cried, and cried.
And then, he turned himself over to the guqin. He played the melody they knew so well. He played the melody that was written by Lan Wangji's childish and foolish heart.
Later on, the meaning of the song changed. He wrote it when he had fallen in love, and as the years passed, he turned it over to longing, heartbreak, yearning, and desperation.
The meaning of WangXian had changed, and only Lan Wangji knew it.
He closed his eyes the last time he strummed the strings with tender finger tips and lent his ears to the sound.
He had always looked at what he was doing. And that last time, he listened.
Just like music, there was something else he couldn't see with his eyes.
Something he didn't know lived deep inside of him.
He had never felt it, so he never realized.
It startled him at first, and then his brother explained it.
"Emotions."
He knew very well that they were.
"You mean like feelings?"
"Feelings are fleeting, Wangji. They don't last forever."
The Second Jade was lost.
"Wangji, you might not understand where you are or what's happening."
Lan Wangji knew where he was, sitting in the Cloud Recesses.
But later on, he realized what his brother meant; where he was in his heart.
He was stuck there, frozen. He said nothing else to him that night, too shocked to think about anything but his emotions.
The one that stood out the most was love.
It was the last one he thought he'd feel.
Not towards his family, not that kind of love.
But towards someone else.
Wei Ying.
And Lan Xichen was right, he didn't understand what was happening.
And then, he didn't think about where he was, while he sat behind his guqin that last night, he didn't think about what he was seeing.
He finally listened.
He listened to what was calling from inside like he hadn't before.
His brother helped him to understand, and he was thankful.
But after that, he never played it again.
He had pulled out the seven-stringed zither for other reasons, instead.
"I'm sorry," Lan Wangji finally said and looked away.
His eyes were still watery, but the crying was slowly coming to a stop.
Wei Wuxian was angry. He hasn't seen him so angry before.
Not since he had fought with the heir of the Jin sect, Jin Zixuan.
The Prince was very smart, and he could figure out things that others couldn't.
Lan Wangji was afraid that he knew.
He wasn't afraid of Wei Wuxian, but of what the Jiang sect wanted with him.
The last Phoenix had been killed because of them, and Lan Wangji wasn't ready to die yet.
If he were to die, he would rather it be by the hands of the Prince.
He would never resent him for it.
But if he seemed so hopeful and so upset without him, would he really be mad at Lan Wangji instead of a man whose name he doesn't know?
He turned around and marched his way out of the door.
Before he could shut it, another hand yanked it open, and a woman walked through.
It was Wen Qing.
She had brought her her bag of medical supplies over her shoulder, and she looked tired.
"What the hell is your problem?" she snapped at the Prince. He turned and gave her a sharp look.
She gave him an eye roll so spectacular that Lan Wangji could help but wonder if Jiang Cheng could match up to it.
She shoved her way in and finally looked at Lan Wangji who was laying awkwardly on the bed with his eyes averted.
It was obvious that he was crying, and he didn't need her to see it, too.
She waited until the Prince was out of view before she slammed it shut.
"How are you feeling, Lan Wangji?" she asked, quickly making her way over to the bed, but not before grabbing a small wooden chair by the door and dragging it over.
The loud screech against the wood made him wince.
He froze when he heard the name that left her rose-painted lips.
He reacted like this whenever someone said his name for the first time, or any time when he felt that a certain someone was about to find out his so-called secret.
He looked at her when she plopped down and dropped her heavy bag to the side she replaced a medical kit with.
She straightened up and set her hands on her lap and a steel glare.
He didn't answer.
He never wanted to answer any question or speak when his name was brought to the topics he found miserable.
Her brown doe eyes were almost piercing Lan Wangji and he resisted the urge to squirm.
He opened his mouth and then closed it.
"It isn't polite to ignore someone when they speak to you, is it?" she said sarcastically.
She looked tired, given away by the eye bags and the way she yawned.
He shook his head. "No, it is not," he agreed with the physician.
He didn't bother to ask how she knew, when he didn't doubt that either the Princess or A-Yuan said something to her.
She wasn't very fond of Lan Wangji, but he knew that she didn't hate him. That was at least a relief.
She had trust issues, and being a Wen made it easy to understand.
Lan Wangji knew that she liked the Prince, so matter how much he picked on her.
She was rude to almost everyone but her brother, and Lan Wangji hasn't seen him once since he'd come to Yunmeng.
"Never have I once thought I would see the day where you'd be injured and laying on top of a damn bed, Hanguang-Jun!" She added, "I saw what you did."
She couldn't exactly blame him for it, then.
He had no control over the situation, and everyone knew it.
She huffed a laugh, but it was bitter.
"Who doesn't where shoes?!" she said wryly.
She gave him a flat, skeptical look. Lan Wangji let out a small sigh.
Maybe she could blame him for that part.
"..."
He asked anyway after a pause of silence, "Jiang Yanli told you?"
She lifted the worn out bag up onto her lap with a heaved sigh and opened it, digging a hand in and rummaging around for whatever she needed.
It looked like a black hole in there.
Lan Wangji noticed that her hands were slightly dirty, too. She looked up and caught him staring.
She rolled her eyes and let out another sigh before pulling out a new pack of bandages and a small, clear jar of ointment.
"My cousin," she murmured.
He was quite surprised to hear that.
Lan Wangji didn't know she had a cousin. He raised a brow, wanting to hear more about him or her.
He had no idea she had any family members other than Wen Qionglin, who was also known as Wen Ning to most people.
He was a kind man, and Lan Wangji had no issues with him.
He wondered who her cousin was. Surely, he knew that he'd never met this person before.
How did they know, if Lan Wangji had never spoken to them before?
"Don't act stupid, Lan Wangji." She said softly, "His name is A-Yuan. You've met him."
His eyes widened a great deal and his lips parted, letting him take in a shallow breath.
A-Yuan is Wen Qing's cousin?
Lan Wangji thought that the child had no relatives to look after him.
He wondered why the Jiangs had given their attention to him.
He did notice that they have the same dark, doe eyes.
She heard the sound and huffed a small laugh before murmuring, "You're lucky he likes you so much."
Lan Wangji didn't understand where she was going with that.
"Otherwise I'd beat you twelve feet under if you ever decided to hurt him."
Now he knew where she was going with that.
She had shot plenty of death threats Wei Wuxian's way, and now aiming even one at Lan Wangji was unanticipated.
He swallowed and resisted the urge to squirm.
He was beyond uncomfortable right now.
__________
The next day, Lan Wangji steadily walked along the grounds of Lotus Pier with the Princess.
She invited him for his first walk outside, and he couldn't refuse.
He wanted to get out of the bed and leave ever since he'd first woken up.
Wei Wuxian quickly objected to her proposal, but neither Jiang Yanli nor Lan Wangji listened.
He was too protective of the 'stranger' now walking around Lotus Pier with his sister, when at this very moment, he didn't seem to like him.
Lan Wangji knew that the Prince did not trust him. After that last conversation, he must still be upset. He became unhappy too quickly.
The man in a pair of clean light grey robes was afraid of what Wei Wuxian would think of him.
So he has been avoiding him.
He was always silver-tongued and clever when it came to communication.
If he put on an act, people that didn't know him well would surly fall for it.
Lan Wangji could see an act when he looked for it, and there was nothing to be seen.
He stayed away from the prettiest smile and the red eyes that shaped into crescents, or else he'd fall into them all over again, like he did the twinkling silver and grey when he was a teenager.
"Is A-Xian bothering you?" she asked softly. She could read him easily since his mask was off. He gave her only silence.
It was more like the other way around.
"..."
He would be lying if he said no, so he didn't say anything at all.
She already knew that Lan Wangji wouldn't admit to it, anyway.
He only sighed, keeping his eyes down to his covered feet.
The shoes he always had on were white, like the very ones he had left behind.
Wei Wuxian had let him borrow a pair of his black boots.
It was the first time he'd ever stepped into them, and it was quite a sight.
Lan Wangji didn't know why Lan Xichen hadn't brought him his own shoes, and instead left him barefoot for more than a week.
Lan Wangji felt that it was quite odd to suddenly put his feet into a pair of shoes again, and to also put weight onto them for an extended amount of time.
Lotus Pier wasn't as cold as the Cloud Recesses, and Lan Wangji enjoyed it. November had recently begun, and the snow was already falling there.
It wasn't normal, the weather to be this way when it wasn't winter quite yet. Autumn, he believed, was a very beautiful time of year.
He looked at every maple leaf falling from their own tree.
The colors of green leaves on other trees and small bushes around the Cloud Recesses quickly turned yellow, orange, and then they would dry out and brown before making their way to the grass that would soon begin to frost over.
The wilting flowers would dry out and fall quickly, later being covered in snow and never again seen.
Lan Wangji wished the purple gentians could last all year, and every year.
But now, he was looking at the leaves falling around Yunmeng.
Somehow, it was even more beautiful than what he's seen in Gusu.
He wanted to see the sunsets of Yunmeng every day, too, but he knew it wasn't a good idea.
"It is not a problem," he muttered, closing his eyes briefly.
But he opened them again, knowing that walking with a small limp could easily help his habit of tripping over his own feet happen.
He had done it twice with his eyes open while heading to or from the restroom, and closing them would double the chance.
Even though Lan Wangji's stamina was perfect, staying in a house for a week bothered him.
He felt like it wouldn't be as great, when it wouldn't make a difference for a cultivator whose core is so strong.
His rank was too high as well, being one of the Twin Jades of Lan, the only one people called Hanguang-Jun.
He felt embarrassed by the name at first, Light Bearing Lord.
He never knew where it came from.
His brother is Zewu-Jun.
His father, Qingheng-Jun, but he wasn't quite sure what the name stood for.
And then he heard that it meant to bring light.
He didn't feel as humiliated afterwards.
He was given the title years ago, and he didn't remember what he had ever done to earn it.
As soon as he opened his eyes, he heard a pair of rushed footsteps coming closer.
Like the night of the first Dance of Misery, a body ran into him, and a small pair of arms wrapped around the same leg of his injured foot.
He also walked with a limp, just to keep most of the weight onto his right leg.
The sun was also setting, so if they stayed out here until it was dark again, it would almost look like a repeat.
Minus the Princess, the bloody waterfall he once called wedding attire, the sight of everything and everyone around him, and anything else he found beautiful about that very night.
He would never see such a beautiful time in Yunmeng ever again, though, and the thought of it brought his content mood down.
He looked down at the little intruder and the corners of his lips quirked.
A-Yuan had been looking for him, and it was obvious since he was exhausted, almost gasping for breath with flushed cheeks.
He wore a bright smile for the first time in days, even though he was still frustrated about the issue between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.
Just the previous day, A-Yuan had threatened to tell the Prince everything if he didn't within the next three.
Lan Wangji believed that the child was serious.
The threat quite frightened him for a moment.
He had two days to make up his mind, and he didn't want Wei Wuxian to find out in such a way.
It would make him even more upset with him than he already was.
He had to tell him soon, and he decided that it would be this very night. It wouldn't be long from now until he saw him again.
The Princess changed the subject by saying, "May I ask why you did not wear shoes to the event, Hanguang-Jun?"
Lan Wangji hoped that nobody would ask.
If he tells her why, it would sound ridiculous.
The child had his arms wrapped around Lan Wangji's thigh once more. The hold on him did not loosen.
He knew which foot was injured, so his grip wasn't as harsh.
He didn't hug him again, and Lan Wangji felt a sharp hint of disappointment because of it.
He nearly heaved a tragic sigh.
"I forgot," he finally murmured.
Jiang Yanli looked as if she didn't believe him for a moment, but she knew that lying was forbidden.
She had to accept that excuse, whether she wanted to or not.
She must know that he was telling the truth, even if it sounded like something he had never done before.
Forgetting to wear his own shoes somewhere does sound like a lie.
She glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, as if she really didn't believe it at all.
"I would have worn my shoes to this event. I do not understand how I managed to forget such an important thing," he whispered, loud enough for her to hear.
A-Yuan heard what he had said and giggled.
Lan Wangji didn't see how the situation was funny.
Forgetting his boots and having to wear Wei Wuxian's instead.
Lan Wangji knew that the child hadn't seen the incident take place, as they first met each other in the town.
He was glad that A-Yuan saw and knew nothing about it. It would've made him upset to see such a thing and meet him afterward, even if he was someone he had never seen before.
Lan Wangji felt that something about the child was familiar, but he couldn't think of anything when he looked back into his memory.
Maybe it was because of Lan Sizhui.
But there was something more.
He couldn't have seen him in the past. A-Yuan hadn't been born yet.
And Lan Wangji almost never left the Cloud Recesses.
So what was it?
He glanced down at the child whose smile was bright.
Just what had made him so happy?
Jiang Yanli came closer and gently pried him off of Lan Wangji, and the smile was just barely turned into a pout.
"A-Yuan, just what has you so joyful?" she asked. It was just what Lan Wangji was wondering. "Did something good happen?"
Lan Wangji hoped that it was something actually good to him as well.
He didn't think he'd run into A-Yuan out there, and then he realized just how long it's been since he last spoke to him.
The two had spent the entire morning walking around Lotus Pier, and Lan Wangji had taken breaks during it.
Wen Qing made him, even if he didn't feel tired in the slightest.
Jiang Yanli told the doctor that she'd accompany him wherever he'd like to go, but he knew that it was just to track his every move.
Wen Qing was slightly creepy that way.
Lan Wangji claimed that his foot was fine, and he really believed that it was, but she didn't buy it.
She had applied more of the sharp-smelling ointment from a small clear jar onto his ankle and wrapped his foot, leaving it alone for the rest of the day. Each time he saw her, she only looked tired.
Lan Wangji asked her if something had been wrong, but she said that nothing was going on. And when he asked if he did something wrong, she immediately dismissed it.
That was when he knew something about him displeased her greatly.
He now wanted to avoid not just the Prince, but the doctor, too.
He hoped that something good would happen for once while he spent the remainder of his time here.
He knew that his uncle would find out about the entire debauchery sooner or later and he'd rather leave earlier in order to not to face his wrath.
Even though he was an adult, the mischievous gleam that appeared in A-Yuan's dark eyes when he looked up actually startled Lan Wangji.
"Uh-huh!"
The Princess went quiet. She too knew very well that A-Yuan's mood had suddenly skyrocketed out of nowhere, and was also confused as to why, just like Lan Wangji.
The two stood in complete silence, waiting for A-Yuan to continue with whatever he had to say to them.
Lan Wangji's eyes stayed on the little boy, and he waited patiently for his little voice to speak.
Jiang Yanli was just the same.
She clasped her hands behind her back and shifted from one foot onto the other before settling her weight onto both, straightening her posture.
Lan Wangji started to feel slightly uncomfortable.
The silence was too loud, or at least that's what people have said.
So Lan Wangji finally said something after what felt like hours, which was merely a minute or two.
"Care to elaborate?"
It was clear to him and to Jiang Yanli after he said those three words that A-Yuan didn't plan to say anything else.
He just wanted to tell them that something had brought up his mood, and didn't mind keeping his mouth shut.
Was he hiding something from the two of them?
Does Wei Wuxian have to do with it?
He planned to keep the silence running longer, and Lan Wangji wasn't too comfortable with the idea.
Usually, Lan Wangji had to sit in silence almost all day. It was always a comfortable silence, and nothing ever bothered him in the Cloud Recesses.
What did bother Lan Wangji, however, were the thoughts scattering around in his head like a dozen wild rabbits that couldn't be put into place.
His mind was often unable to stay put for a single minute of discipline, and he hated it.
He only felt the most happy when his brother was around him. Even though Lan Xichen was cautious, and Lan Wangji didn't know why at the time, having his presence beside him was comfortable.
No one knew how to read him like his brother could.
Lan Xichen could tell if Lan Wangji were down, happy, anything. Happiness was something he could never see, but he could at least tell when he was content.
He thought Lan Wangji being here would make him happy.
Oh, how very right and dreadfully wrong he was right there.
Lan Xichen should've known that even leaving for one night and coming back, acting as if nothing had happened at all like they had planned, wouldn't make him happy.
He would become even more heartbroken than he already was, missing Wei Wuxian and knowing that his guilty daydreams of marrying him would never become a reality.
"What does that mean?" A-Yuan asked, cutting Lan Wangji's depressing thoughts off with a questioning tone. "Elaborate?"
Lan Wangji knew that the child was already brilliant for someone his age, so hearing that he didn't know what the word 'elaborate' meant, surprised him.
He didn't understand why he should even feel that way.
He wanted to be done speaking for the rest of the day.
He turned around and walked back, leaving the Princess to define the word in his place, but not before bumping into someone and losing his balance.
A hand reached out and roughly grabbed his arm to keep him from tripping. The hand was large, and he immediately knew that it didn't belong to the Prince of Yunmeng.
He caught a flash of purple before both a familiar and annoying voice spoke.
"I didn't think you Lans would care leave your little nest," Jiang Wanyin hissed, "only to come here and cause trouble!"
Lan Wangji should've known he'd be seen by the King's biological son sooner or later.
This also may be the first time he had spoken directly to him without cursing.
"What a pleasant surprise to see one!" he gritted through a tightly-clenched jaw. His teeth were practically grinding.
The word 'pleasant' was greatly exaggerated, and Lan Wangji knew that not one ounce of a warm welcome was written in it.
Really, what did Lan Wangji ever even do to him?
Lan Wangji greeted with a short nod, keeping his golden eyes down, "Jiang Wanyin."
He frowned down at his hand that still held an iron grip on Lan Wangji's arm, and he quickly removed it as if he had touched the surface of a hot stove.
The rude man continued.
"What the hell are you out of all people doing here?!"
There went not cursing.
Lan Wangji said nothing.
He already knew what he went there for and must've seen exactly what happened.
When he figured out that Lan Wangji would not answer, he glared and waved a hand in front of his face.
He stayed silent.
He felt a small pull on his sleeve, and he saw A-Yuan trying to hold his hand.
He let the small boy touch him as much as he wanted.
"A-Cheng!" Jiang Yanli scolded him. "How could you be so rude?!"
Her tone was no longer gentle, nor polite. It wasn't even close to a warning, like she had softly given to Wei Wuxian.
The youngest brother of the Princess startled, not seeming to notice how she was right beside Lan Wangji.
The man in purple looked at Lan Wangji with wide, frantic eyes, and then at Jiang Yanli, and repeated it several times before focusing his gaze on her.
Lan Wangji almost wanted to laugh.
"Jie!" he started in a panic, "he shouldn't be here. Especially Lan Wangji!"
"And why is that?" The Princess crossed her arms.
It just made Jiang Wanyin more nervous, seeing his own sister angry for once.
No one had stood up for Lan Wangji in such a way, and he found he liked it.
"Because Wei Wuxian is obsessed with him to the point where it's fucking insane!"
What he said was clearly aimed at Lan Wangji, even though he was looking at his sister.
Calling someone obsessed was a bit much, but he didn't mind hearing those words when it came to Wei Wuxian feeling a single thing for Lan Wangji.
The Second Jade of Lan choked on his own breath, and Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli could clearly see the tip of his ears quickly turn from his fair skin tone to a cherry-red.
The Princess couldn't help but let out a quiet giggle that everyone could clearly hear. Jiang Wanyin just huffed and looked away as if he regretted what he had just said.
He couldn't hide it behind a mask this time.
"A-Xian isn't obsessed, A-Cheng!" Jiang Yanli said with a smile that she was failing to hold back.
She knew Lan Wangji had feelings for the Prince at that point and wanted nothing more than to see them together.
But she also knew that Lan Wangji was introverted and couldn't speak his thoughts or feelings well enough to hold a proper conversation with anyone.
So she didn't say anything else about it and left him to calm his heart down.
Lan Wangji looked up at Jiang Wanyin and glared at him.
He wasn't looking at Lan Wangji at the moment, but to the Princess, who already wanted him to leave the three others alone.
His brown eyes were locked onto her and she raised a brow, as if she were silently asking him what he really wanted to get out of this situation.
"Pretty-Gege didn't do anything wrong!" A-Yuan piped in, and he held Lan Wangji's hand tightly.
Jiang Wanyin's eyebrows climbed high on his forehead and his eyes gave way to confusion, and then realization.
"Pretty-Gege?!" He went to continue when he looked back to Lan Wangji, but once he spotted the sharp, golden piercing eyes pinning him down, his jaw dropped. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
He stepped back once. Twice. And then he reached up a hand to run through his hair, muttering curse words for a short moment.
Lan Wangji couldn't believe that Jiang Wanyin, an adult, had the audacity to say such words in front of a small child.
A-Yuan paid close attention to everything that left his lips, and the Princess covered his ears.
But it was too late, he had been given a number of them already.
Lan Wangji spoke without thinking. "Wei Ying doesn't love me. He never did..."
A long silence.
Jiang Wanyin was in disbelief. He slowly shut his eyes like his brother would've done in a stressed moment and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyebrow ticking.
It was a fact. Wei Wuxian held no feelings for him whatsoever, unless it was a deep form of friendship.
Being in the friend zone with the Prince hurt, but it was better than being a total stranger, which he was right now.
He knew that his act was quickly slipping, as Wei Wuxian was starting to see things he didn't before.
A-Yuan gasped loudly, and when Lan Wangji looked down at him, he took his hand away and slapped it over his mouth. His doe eyes were wide.
He rapidly looked at each of them, his gaze mostly landing on Lan Wangji. He probably thought that Lan Wangji was more of an idiot than he originally thought.
Jiang Yanli had a reaction, too. She was clearly surprised that Lan Wangji was still in denial. She thought that he knew everything, but then realized that he was as naive as a baby when it came to the Prince and his emotions.
She opened her mouth to say something, but immediately closed it, letting her brother speak instead.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me," he growled, "you really are an idiot!"
Jiang Wanyin muttered incoherent words under his breath that Lan Wangji didn't bother to think about.
"I'm going to break both of Wei Wuxian's legs for making me go through this bullshit!"
Jiang Wanyin wouldn't dare do such a thing.
Why were they reacting this way?
Lan Wangji clearly did not understand what the situation had turned into. He knew that everyone thought he was an idiot right now, but how was he when he was only telling the truth?
Wei Wuxian sees him as nothing but a very close friend, and there was nothing more to it.
The thought made Lan Wangji want to cry.
"What?" he grumbled, making the silence drag out even longer.
Jiang Wanyin opened his mouth again. "Does he know who you are?"
Lan Wangji shook his head.
"So that's why you're running around like an idiot, wearing that ridiculous mask?"
"A-Cheng!"
Jiang Wanyin ignored his sister for the first time, and it surprised both Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji. Even A-Yuan seemed shocked.
He just kept talking.
"You're trying to hide from us, I'm guessing," he muttered and crossed his arms before he continued by parting his lips again.
Jiang Yanli slapped a hand over his mouth in order to shut him up, and it worked. But when she took her hand away after she thought he'd be finished, he kept rambling.
Lan Wangji had never heard him speak so much before, unless it was to scold Wei Wuxian at the Cloud Recesses for something foolish he had done.
He had very good reasons to speak strictly back then, but to say that he'd break the Prince's legs for no good reason was ludicrous.
He was an adult now, and Lan Wangji saw that he hadn't changed since he was a teenager.
They were practically children, and he was sure that Wei Wuxian's martial brother would grow up to be at least decent.
It turned out to be the other way around.
He wondered if this was why Wei Wuxian was chosen to be the Prince. Because he was more mature, and many people adored him.
Or was it because of his Dragon destiny?
Lan Wangji couldn't blame anyone for being attracted.
But they weren't hopelessly in love like Lan Wangji is.
They did not know his personality like Lan Wangji did.
Wei Wuxian had told him ridiculous jokes that weren't funny to anyone, but he couldn't help but be hopelessly charmed anyway.
He held him by the hand, hugged him without permission, and even kissed him on the cheek just to mess with him.
It was only once, but he wished it could've happened again.
Wei Wuxian laughed himself sick.
Wei Wuxian is not mature, and that just barely scratches the surface of the long list of things that made Lan Wangji fall for him, and throughout the entire time he's been in Lotus Pier, he had fallen deep in love all over again.
The Princess looked nervous when she glanced at Lan Wangji with worried eyes.
"Are you hiding from him because you're afraid he won't like you, knowing that you're this?"
Lan Wangji knew that 'this' referred to him as the last Phoenix, instead of a normal man with normal eyes and a normal life.
He hesitantly nodded. He looked back down and his eyes filled with tears all over again.
He had no idea how many times he had cried over the Prince this entire time he'd been in Yunmeng, and crying in front of another person made the whole experience worse.
Lan Wangji didn't want to tell Wei Wuxian who he was.
He just wanted to go home.
His heart was beginning to tell him that, too, instead of just his dazed mind.
Instead of his eyes being the only thing burning, he didn't realize that his back felt that way too until he felt something wet and warm tickle him as it trickled down his body.
He didn't know what had happened until he heard A-Yuan shriek and begin to cry. It broke Lan Wangji's heart to hear him wailing so horribly.
He slowly put a hand on his back and felt something hot. It was like his own robes had burned him and he pulled it back around, only to see the fair skin and long sleeve covered in blood.
He then felt cold, like his entire body had turned to ice.
He was frozen in alarm, and he didn't know how else to react.
This was what Lan Wangji felt in his dream.
Would what he had dreamed of become real?
Just like the first night, when he had seen Wei Wuxian's pretty face, he succumbed once more to the darkness that was already swallowing him whole.
__________
Lan Wangji did not dream of Wei Wuxian flying in the stars with him again.
Instead, he woke up with a foot that felt much better, but a back that had been through hell.
When he moved, he could feel the bandages tight around his shoulders and chest.
Just what even happened?
It seemed to Lan Wangji and everyone else that he wouldn't be going back to his prison cell anytime soon, as much as he really wanted to.
His uncle will hear of this. And when he does, he will be more than upset. He will be absolutely livid.
"Don't move."
He heard Wen Qing's strict voice again.
He opened his eyes again without hesitation, and saw that he was in the same bedroom from the very start.
His mask was back on.
He ignored the light from the window, and tried to forget about his back.
But the pain he felt there made that all quite impossible.
He saw only Wen Qing, but when his blurred vision sharpened, he noticed the Prince sitting beside her again, right in the same place as before.
The whites of his eyes were blood-shot from the loss of sleep, and the red crimson irises almost looked dull and lifeless.
Lan Wangji was horrified to see it.
There was no child running around in the room this time, and he at least was glad about that.
He didn't want A-Yuan to see the state of Wei Wuxian and the state of Lan Wangji. That would unnecessarily stress him out.
He hoped that the Princess was with him, safe and okay. If Lan Wangji somehow hurt anyone, he couldn't forgive himself.
Then, his heart started pounding.
Where was Jiang Wanyin?
Did he tell Wei Wuxian everything?
Is that why the Prince looked this way?
He wouldn't look this way towards a 'stranger' by the name of 'Pretty-Gege'.
Just like the first time she told him not to move, he did it anyway. And this time, she smacked his head for it.
She didn't hit him harshly, though. But it was enough to get him to stay still.
He let her do her thing, but not with silence.
"What happened?" was the first thing he had asked. He just knew that his back felt like it was in flames.
He thought back to his dream.
He remembered that when he looked behind him, he saw wings of fire.
The wings were coming right out of his back, between his shoulder blades. They were a flaming gold, and they burned bright.
He remembered how the pain started to go away when he looked at them, and how he was a vermilion bird that was flying high in the night sky.
Every one of his feathers were in flames, and he thought about the tail he had, split into three.
He was horrified by the sight but also entranced.
He remembered it vividly, and he couldn't help but want to dream it again, even though he also hated it.
"You fainted."
The Prince's voice was rough from disuse, and he leaned forward to slowly place a warm hand over Lan Wangji's that was laying limp onto his side, but hesitated.
He must've felt bad for how he treated Lan Wangji earlier, and he didn't want to push it.
So he held himself back and took his hand away before it could touch him.
The man in the mask didn't like that, so before Wei Wuxian could get far from him, he quickly lurched forward to grab it back.
He could feel his ears burning while he did so.
Wen Qing snorted when she spotted Lan Wangji interlocking their fingers. She seemed to find it even more funny when Wei Wuxian's cheeks became a full-blown red over it.
Lan Wangji had never seen the Prince blush before, and he found he liked it.
If the Prince was acting in such a way, he must know now.
Who Pretty-Gege is.
Does this mean he won't hate him?
He didn't look back into Wei Wuxian's anxious and exhausted eyes, but he could hear the breath of relief he let out.
Did he think that Lan Wangji would hate him after such a thing? There was never a time when people didn't argue with one another at least once.
It wasn't much of an argument, though.
It was more of an emotional breakdown for both of them.
Before Lan Wangji could say anything else, he was out cold.
When he woke again, he could tell that incense was burning. The smell was both familiar and restorative.
It was the sandalwood incense he had in the Cloud Recesses.
His eyes were heavy, and he didn't feel like opening them.
He knew that he wasn't home, and that his brother must've brought it. He didn't even want to see the look on his face.
He then heard faint, aggravated whispering.
He listened carefully for the voices, and it turned out to be between Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian.
Lan Xichen was almost interrogating him about god-knows-what while Wei Wuxian was firing answers.
"If you already had a first love, how far would you go to protect her?" Lan Xichen asked harshly.
What kind of question was that?
Wei Wuxian didn't hesitate in his answer. "Are you asking me what a good man would do?"
He didn't have to look to know that his brother was nodding.
Wei Wuxian spat, "I'm not a good man," he said, "so I can't answer that."
Lan Xichen let out a sharp sigh.
"A good man is limited by his morals. He has boundaries that he can't cross!"
Lan Wangji listened intently, and he knew that his brother was listening, too.
"For example: what would a good man do if he saw on one side of a ship, the love of his life drowning, or a whole sect drowning?" He snapped, "He'd let her drown."
Lan Wangji stayed as still as he could in order to not catch their attention with how loud he almost gasped.
"A good man would sacrifice his love to save the cultivation world. He'd do it for even a small family, or a couple of little kids!"
His voice turned dark.
"I'd happily burn it all to the ground, trample it beneath my feet, and sleep like a damn baby."
His dark voice suddenly turned softer than he's ever heard it.
Lan Wangji's fragile and weak heart melted at the next words.
"As long as it meant that he could sleep next to me."
Lan Xichen was quiet. What Wei Wuxian said had caught his attention, and he wasn't surprised.
The Prince always had a way with words, and Lan Wangji knew that. He always knew what to say in whatever situation, and what he said here was terribly awful.
But it was also terribly romantic.
"He?" Lan Xichen asked, voice strained.
He could almost see Wei Wuxian nodding firmly with a blank face.
"He."
Just who the hell is this 'he'?
Some other man is Wei Wuxian's first love, and Lan Wangji is the friend?
The shattered bottle of vinegar was unable to be found, as it was already gone forever. Lan Wangji didn't know if he'd need another one or not.
He decided to leave the bottle behind, and endure this small hint of resentment in his heart all alone.
He went down under again.
Later on, he had eaten a bland bowl of congee once he woke up again hours after the sun set, and he kept thinking about the small argument his brother and the Prince had.
It was hard to sleep because of it, and he knew that he awake well past curfew.
Hai-shi had come and gone, and he was with another in the bed.
A-Yuan was carefully laying against his chest, and he was talking about anything and everything with the Second Jade of Lan.
"Can you sing to me, Pretty-Gege?" he asked out of nowhere, and it wasn't something Lan Wangji should've been surprised about.
He knew what A-Yuan wanted, since the Prince has hummed him the very song he knew the child loved.
WangXian.
Lan Wangji was sure everyone else was in bed, so it was somewhat safe to continue.
Wei Wuxian wouldn't hear it, as the place he slept wasn't near this temporary bedroom Lan Wangji currently owned.
He stiffly nodded, and closed his lips.
The child wanted him to sing, but he went to hum instead.
After all, it was the melody for the two adults.
Lan Wangji didn't mind letting A-Yuan hear at least a few words, so when he came to the chorus, he had started to sing instead.
He sang quietly, in order to keep the sound only inside of the room.
A-Yuan smiled brightly once he had the privilege of hearing such a thing.
But little did Lan Wangji know, a red-eyed man was frozen outside of the cracked doorway with a glass of iced water.
The tears had finally fallen freely from his eyes, and Lan Wangji didn't hear him say anything. Only two words could leave his lips.
"Lan Zhan."