Now where is he going? And why is he looking like he doesn't want anyone to see him? While I was speaking to Gemma and Savannah, I was barely able to keep my eyes open. But now, seeing Atlas sneaking off into the woods, adrenaline courses through my veins, banishing the tiredness. Before I even have an end goal in mind, I follow him into the woods, keeping my distance so he won't notice me. Whatever he's doing, he wants it to remain a secret.
And that's exactly why I'm following him.
Before long, I realize he's heading for a part of the woods I haven't seen yet. I wonder what secrets these trees will reveal to me. I wonder what truths they can tell me. I've learned from my time in the Outside that these trees have something to say, but only to those willing to listen. Every time the wind blows, the leaves and grass whisper a language that few know. Humans can try and keep all the secrets they want, but the earth never forgets. And in time, the earth will return those secrets in full. '
As Atlas starts to slow, I match my pace with his. I walk much like Gemma, every step careful and deliberate. I check the ground for leaves and twigs, ensuring my steps are silent. I'm not going to reveal my position to him, not until I've learned what I can. I don't know how long I've been silently following him when he stops in front of a tree. I hide behind a different tree, trying to figure out what Atlas is doing here.
From my position, I can't see anything special about the tree or the area around it. But it must mean something to him. He leans against the tree, forehead to the bark, whispering something I can't hear. After checking the ground for twigs, I take another step closer, hoping to either hear his words or see what this tree means. I get as close as I can without being visible, watching intently. He takes a deep breath, biting his cheek roughly. Without warning, he collapses to his knees and starts to sob. I now have a perfect view of the tree, and my breath hitches when I see the name carved into it.
Skye.
What is Atlas doing, sobbing at a tree with my sister's name carved into it? Once again, everything I think I know is being called into question. Every time I've asked, Atlas has told me he didn't really know Skye. She was his leader, and, judging by the fact that he took over after her disappearance, he was her second-in-command. They knew each other well enough to trust each other, and that was it. But if he barely knew her, then why is he here, crying under a tree that bears her name?
"I'm so sorry, Skye... I... I tried," he says through his sobs. "I never wanted it to come to this. I tried to stop it. And I tried so hard to keep my promise." I try to keep my breathing steady. Nothing he's saying makes sense. My Mark is gone, and all of my memories have come back to me. All but one. When I try to recall the night Skye disappeared, nothing comes. Either that memory had nothing to do with my Mark, or there's something else blocking it out.
What happened that night? And what role did Atlas play in it? But there's a question that weighs even heavier on my mind. Has Skye really been out here the whole time? I've been searching for the truth about Skye, wondering where she went and what happened to her. And, when all was said and done, she was practically under my nose? Laid to rest in the woods she used to call home? I have to know. I have to know what happened to Skye, once and for all. And Atlas is finally going to give me the truth, no matter what it is.
"Is this where you buried her?" I ask, stepping out of the trees. Atlas whips around to face me, tears trailing down his cheeks. He gapes for a moment, both surprised at my presence and my question.
"W-What?" he stammers.
"Is there where you buried Skye? Has she been here this whole time?" I ask, and Atlas looks back at the tree, wiping his face. He takes a few shaky breaths, weighing his options. Balancing the need to tell me the truth and the need to keep his secrets. He looks back at me, trying to keep his tears in check. It doesn't work.
"No," he finally says. "She's not buried here."
"Then where is she?" I ask, tears filling my eyes. I'm so tired of not knowing things. Even when I remembered everything else, the night Skye disappeared still eludes me. I just want the full story, and I want it now. I know I don't want to go back to the City. But how can I live in the Outside without knowing the truth? How can I live my life when not knowing what happened to Skye will haunt me for the rest of my days?
"I don't know. I don't know where she is," Atlas admits, and I suck in a breath through my teeth. How do I know that isn't another lie? Another secret he's not ready to reveal?
"Don't lie to me, Atlas! What did you do to her?" I ask, and his eyes go wide.
"Is that what you think?" he asks, his entire face awash with shock. "What, you think I murdered her because I wanted to be the leader?"
"I don't know what to think anymore. Even after my Mark disappeared, I still don't know what happened to Skye."
"But how can you not know? You were there!" he exclaims, and this time, my eyes go wide. What does he mean, I was there? Did I witness whatever happened to my sister? But if he knows that I was there, does that mean he was there, too? If he was there, then why doesn't he just tell me? Why is he keeping it such a big secret? "Then again, maybe that's exactly why you can't remember. It must have been so traumatic. I wish I didn't remember it."
"Why can't you just tell me what you did?" I ask.
"I didn't do anything to her!" he screams, and I take a step back. He seems so insistent, it's hard not to believe him. But until I know the truth about what happened, I'm going to take everything he says with a grain of salt. "I may have carved her name into this tree, but that doesn't mean I killed her." For so long, I'd allowed myself a smidgen of hope. Hope that she was still alive somewhere. But now, that hope is gone.
"If you didn't do anything to her... then how do you know she's dead?" I ask, and Atlas thinks for a moment, before sighing.
"I guess I don't. But, if she were alive, don't you think she would have come back by now? But I've never met a person that faced what she did and came back alive," Atlas tells me. I'm ready to scream in frustration. He keeps leading me around in circles, and for a split second, I have an overwhelming to choke him. Maybe that would get him talking.
"Atlas," I sigh, looking at Skye's name carved into the tree. "Please. If you didn't do anything... why are you so hesitant to talk about it? Instead of telling me what happened, you just keep deflecting. You can sit here and throw a pity party all you want, but just be honest with me first. What are you running from? What is so horrible that you can't face it?"
"It was my fault," he whispers. I ask him to repeat himself, and he looks up at me, new tears running down his cheeks. "It was my fault. If she is dead... it's because of me."
"But wait. You said you didn't do anything, and now you're saying it was your fault? How does that work?"
"It's my fault because I didn't stop it. I should have known... I should have known what was going to happen. I should have found a way to stop it. But I didn't, and now I'm here and she's not. She told me to run. I shouldn't have listened. I should have stayed with her or dragged her along with me, but I didn't. And then I didn't even keep the promise I made to her," he explains.
"Which was what? What was this promise that you failed to keep? This promise that eats at you so much?" I question.
"I promised her that you would never go back to the City. I promised her that I would keep you safe and out of the Vulture's hands. And two weeks later, I broke that promise," he answers, and my heart twinges. That wasn't fair of Skye. I understand where she must have been coming from- if those were going to be her final moments, she wanted to make sure I was protected. But now Atlas is riddled with guilt over a promise he shouldn't have had to make. Skye should have known that if the Vultures really wanted me, they would get me. Atlas is lucky that the Vultures even let him live when they came for me.
"You feel guilty over a lot of things that you shouldn't feel guilty about," I tell him, and he laughs sadly, wiping his face. I still don't know what happened to Skye, but I think Atlas is telling me the truth. He didn't do anything to Skye, even though in his mind, he's responsible for it. But I don't agree with that. Whoever hurt Skye, whoever took her from us, it's their responsibility. I still want to know what happened, but there's another question burning in my mind. Another lie, another secret I want to be revealed. "Atlas, who was Skye to you?"
"I told you, many times, that I really didn't-"
"I don't believe that, Atlas. You were her second-in-command. She made you promise to keep me safe and no one else. You carved her name into a tree, and now here you are, crying and confessing your sins. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not the behavior of someone who didn't know her very well. So, I'll ask again. Who was Skye to you? Who were you to Skye?" He looks over at me, before looking back at the tree, running his fingers over the letters he carved into the bark. He breathes deeply and begins to rub his wrist.
"I was going to marry her," he says. He looks back at me, tears in his eyes and a sad smile on his face. "I was waiting until we got back to the Outside to ask her. I was so deeply in love with her, and she with me. In fact, she overturned the ban on marriage so that we could get married one day. Stars, how I loved her."
By the sun. I knew that he wanted someone else, but I always thought it was someone else at camp. But this whole time, he's been pining after my sister? I remember that Skye had once told me that she had a man she was deeply in love with. And now I'm learning that the man was Atlas? I'm not even sure what to do with that information. Even if he did move past Skye, he would never want me, not when I'm the little sister of the woman he planned to marry. But I'm happy to know the truth. There's only one thing left to know now. Only one hole that needs to be filled.
"Atlas..." I sigh. "No more secrets, no more lies, no more running. I remember Skye planning a great escape for all of the Renegades. But the night of the escape... that's what I'm missing. Please. Just tell me what happened that night." He looks at the tree once more, sighing deeply. He's ready to tell me, and I'm ready to tell him. I said no more secrets, and I wasn't only talking about him. Once he's done telling me his story, I'll tell mine. He deserves that much.
"Okay. You deserve to know. That night..."
"Atlas!" We both turn to the source of the cry, listening on high alert as someone crashes through the trees. We both look at each other, brows raised, only turning back when Israel finally appears through the trees. He's breathing heavily, even though he doesn't look that winded from his mad dash through the trees. And judging by the scratches on his face and arms, it was indeed a mad dash. But still, it looks like his heavy breathing is coming from panic. His eyes are wide, and anxious look on his face.
"Israel? What's going on?" Atlas asks, getting to his feet. His face quickly matches his friend's, and he quickly starts to bite his cheek.
"I just got a message from the gryphons. They spotted the Vultures. They're heading this way. All seven of them, Atlas," Israel says, and my heart drops in my chest. All seven of the Vultures are coming? How? And why? I look back in the direction of camp, and I know. I know exactly why they're coming, but I don't know how. And that scares me more than knowing why does.
"They can't get us. They won't get close enough," Atlas says. But I catch the waver in his voice. There's something he's not saying. Israel shakes his head, running his hands through his hair.
"Atlas, that's not true and you know it. If all seven Vultures are here, they can penetrate our protection. They've done it once before. You told me yourself. All seven of them banded together, and they broke through. They killed the leader and brought all of the Renegades to the City. There hadn't even been any death. Their combined power simply was too much," Israel argues, and my breath catches. If that's the case, then every Renegade is in danger, and they don't even know it. They're all sleeping peacefully, unaware of the threat on its way.
"But this is different. We just had a huge celebration of life and love. That should strengthen our protection for days," Atlas assures. But can a wedding keep all seven Vultures out? Is that really all it takes?
"If their combined power is enough to break through, then why don't they do it more often?" I ask.
"Because that leaves the City vulnerable. Without any of them to keep an eye on the City, who knows what chaos will ensue? They only take the chance every now and again. Only when they're something that they're really after," Atlas tells me, and I swallow hard. There is something they're really after. Something that they really want, and that's why they've left the City to chance.
They want me.
"We'll have the gryphons help us keep an eye on it. Chances are, they won't be able to get closer than the river. But that doesn't mean they won't wait until the extra protection from the wedding fades. It's going to be a rough few days. Someone will have to keep watch. We'll all take shifts. And we'll have to conserve our water because if they are down there, we can't risk sending Matt to get more," Atlas instructs. It's a solid plan, something that I don't have. I need to tell them why the Vultures came, but how do I do that?
"Even if they can't get through the protection, why are they trying? Why did they decide to come now, right after the wedding?" Israel asks, and a sob breaks from my throat. The Renegades are in danger, and it's all because of me. It's because of my blind search for the truth, damn the consequences. I should have told Atlas earlier. If he'd known, this might have been stopped. They could have figured out a safer way for me to break free of the City.
"They're coming for me," I admit, my voice breaking. Both men turn to me, their eyes wide. "They want me."
"Why would they do that? Why would they come here for you specifically?" Israel asks, and I sniffle, trying to keep the tears at bay. This is where everything comes to light. This is where my truth is revealed. The truth of everything I planned to do and all the secrets I kept. This might just be where everything ends.
"I lost my job because I saved the life of an Invalid. His name was Zeke, and he fell off of a balcony during a bad trip. He lost his ability to walk, and because of that, they fired me. I don't know which was worse in their eyes- saving the life of an Invalid or letting him live when he'd never walk again. But a few days later, they summoned me to the Council and gave me a proposition," I explain. Atlas's brows raise in curiosity, while Israel's eyes start to narrow. He already knows where I'm going with this.
"And what was the proposition?" Atlas asks.
"You have to understand, I thought my life was over. And I was still under the City's influence. I still believed the rumors about the Renegades and I still thought that it was the Renegades who had taken Skye. So when they offered to let me have my job back, I jumped at the opportunity," I continue, and Israel's face hardens into a quiet rage.
"You didn't come to the Outside because you wanted to be a Renegade," he surmises, and I nod, my face flushing, shameful tears falling down my face.
"Then... why did you...?" Atlas starts before he realizes the truth. He sucks in a breath, his eyes going wide in shock. His jaw drops slightly, betrayal flashing across his eyes. "You... you were going to...?"
"They knew they couldn't get to the Renegades, but they never understood why. So they wanted me to infiltrate the Renegades. They wanted me to dismantle the whole thing from the inside, and they wanted me to personally deliver you, Atlas, to them. If I did that, they'd give me my job back," I explain, and Atlas's whole face drops. He turns away, his body sagging with the betrayal. I try and fail to hold my sob back as he gives me a look of pain and anger.
"And you were going to do it. You were going to take our home and our way of life and destroy it," he whispers, and I shake my head. I try to take a step towards him, but Israel steps in between us. His muscles flex as his body tenses with rage, and I know that if I say the wrong thing, he might just end me right now. I've never thought of Israel as particularly dangerous, but now that he knows I was- am- a threat to his wife and child, all bets are off.
"But I don't want to anymore," I explain, but Atlas still won't look at me. "When I saw this place, and I met these people, I knew that someone was lying to me. I just didn't know who. But now I know that it was the Vultures. They led me to believe something that wasn't true. And once I realized I couldn't go through with my mission, I started to ignore Lucifer, and now-"
"What do you mean, ignore him?" Atlas asks quietly.
"He could talk to me, in my head. Because of the Mark. But I never told him anything! By the time I learned anything of value, I was already starting to question his motives and my mission. So I stopped responding to him. He's got to know that my Mark is gone, and that's why they're coming. They know that I'm not going through with the mission. They know that I've seen the truth, and that's why they're coming," I answer, and for a second, everything goes silent.
"Well, if they want you, then why don't we just give them what they want?" Israel says, taking a step toward me. I freeze on the spot. If Israel wants to throw me to the Vultures, I'd deserve it. If that's what it takes to keep the Renegades safe, I'll do it. I'll take whatever punishment the Vultures have in mind for me if only they'll leave the rest of the Renegades alone. Atlas puts a hand on Israel's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. He looks at me, both anger and understanding on his face.
"We're not doing that," he says, and Israel's brow raises.
"Why shouldn't we? She was going to-!"
"Exactly. She was. But you and I both know what they say about us in the City. She was Marked, and she was led to believe something that wasn't true. We can't blame her for that. She knows the truth now. What she believed and what she was going to do in the past doesn't matter. What matters is her actions now," Atlas responds, leveling me with a look. "Macy, you swear on your life that you no longer want to end the Renegades?"
"Yes. I swear, that's not what I want anymore."
"Then we're not going to throw her to a certain death," Atlas says, looking at Israel. "She's a Renegade now. She's one of us, and we take care of our own. We've got to get back and warn who we can," Atlas says, and Israel nods. I can tell he's not exactly convinced, but he won't go against his leader. "Oh, and Macy?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't think we're done with this conversation," he says, and I nod slowly. "If they want you, they're going to have to fight us for you. I broke my promise to Skye once. I won't do it again. No matter what, do not leave camp, you hear me?"
"I hear you," I lie. The truth is, Israel doesn't have to throw me to the Vultures. I'm going to do it on my own. If there's any way I can negotiate for the safety of the Renegades, I'm going to try. I have to. For the lives of everyone I've come to think of as friends, I have to. Atlas nods his head towards camp, and Israel leads the way. Atlas falls in the middle, with me bringing up the rear. It pains me that he trusts me enough still to be able to show me his back. And it pains me even more that I'm about to break that trust.
Once I'm sure Atlas isn't paying attention to me, I break off from the group. I keep my steps quiet until I'm sure I'm far enough away that they won't hear me. And then I run like hell. I have to get out of the woods and to the cliff before they notice my absence. If they catch me, my plan is foiled. My heart is in my ears as I run, my desire to protect the Renegades pushing me forward despite the burning in my legs.
Just as my body threatens to shut down, I break through the tree line. I look around, but there's no activity at all in the camp. The only sign of life is the smoke coming from the main firepit, the smoldering embers just barely hanging on to life. I can't find Atlas and Israel, which means they're probably still in the woods. I take a moment to catch my breath, but before I can, I hear Atlas screaming my name somewhere in the trees.
It makes my heart twinge, hearing the fear and desperation in his voice. I can hear the pain my decision will cause him, and that makes me consider turning back. But if I don't, the whole of the Renegades may be in danger. Their faces and their stories start to flash in my mind.
Matt and Taryn, who have only begun to start their story together. Gemma and Savannah, who have only just been married. Jax and Lee, who ran for their love. Aubriana, who found acceptance when the City had none to give. Annalise, who found a life worth living and the loves of her life. Israel, who found freedom in the music only the Outside could offer him. Atlas, who leads his people and lives despite the guilt weighing him down. And little Rosalie, who is such a bright light in everyone's life, a light that the City will surely smother.
I have to protect them. All of them. And so I start running towards the edge of the cliff. I only hope that Atlas will one day understand why I had to do this. The sun is rising higher into the sky, the dew already starting to burn away. As I reach the cliff, I look up into the sky. I put the way the sun lights up the sky into my memory, just in case it's the last time I ever see it.
I hear Atlas screaming my name again as I look down into the canyon. And there they are. I see seven red figures coming up the river on horseback. Lucifer leads the charge, the other Vultures in a V formation behind him. I take one last look at camp, saying a silent goodbye. I drop my head, whispering a prayer to the sun that one day I'll see the Renegades again. I pray that this won't be the end of my story.
With my prayer said, I head for the trailhead and descend into the canyon.