Della was very adamant about us waiting out the snowstorm. I mean there's no rush it's Saturday and classes don't resume until Monday. What's the harm? Carter looks at me waiting for my decision. He didn't protest he had no reaction. Maybe he wants to spend more time with his family but doesn't want me to feel like we should stay because he wants to.
"It's up to you," Carter tells me no indication of whether he wants to stay or not.
"I don't wanna make you drive through that we can just wait it out," I tell him making my decision.
"Okay perfect! I'll meet you two at home and then I'll get you settled in for the night." Della's eyes crinkle as she smiles at me. Carter looks at me with a smile that makes my heart stutter.
The server puts the bill down and Della swipes the bill as I get my card out. "Nonsense!" Della laughs at me and proceeds to hand the bill to Carter.
Carter lets a little chuckle and shakes his head. He puts down his card and gives Della a small side hug. "Anything for my mother."
After we leave the restaurant Carter and I drive behind Della following her back to the house. Carter has one hand on the wheel and the other on the curve on my seat. His hand begins to fiddle with my hair again but I've come to accept it.
Deciding to mess with him I say "Shouldn't you have both hands on the wheels?"
He takes his eyes off the road and grins at me. "I can multitask." He shifts his hand from my seat to my face grazing my cheek with the knuckle of his finger. Butterflies erupt in my stomach and I can feel goosebumps prick my skin even though it's burning hot in the car. My cheeks heat up and the way Carter grins harder tells me he notices too.
"Eyes and hands on the road and wheel." I swat his hand away trying to contain the flutters in my stomach. Carter looks back at the road but keeps his hand on my seat. The rest of the drive I watch as we pass the snow-covered pine trees and think about how the actual fuck I got myself here.
After Della had shown me where I'd be staying tonight she left Carter and me saying she had a couple of errands to run before the snowstorm got bad. The guest room overlooks their pool in the back and is decorated modern and minimally matching the theme of their house. I sit on the bed for a few more minutes before the urge to snoop wins me over.
I peek into the hallway before making my way a couple of doors down and knock on Carter's door before twisting the knob. His bed is the first thing that comes into view as it sits in the middle of his room. Carter's bed is made and his room is tidy, nothing lying around. Looking around the walls are painted dark blue but that's barely visible because of how many framed and signed hockey jerseys line the walls. A shelf by the window is dedicated to his trophies and medals. I walk closer to the shelf to read the medals and trophies. The majority of his medals are gold very few of them are silver and I don't see any bronze ones. There are so many of them hung up on the shelf that I'm surprised that it hasn't broken. The shelf above holding his trophies says championship after championship.
"Hey snoopy." Carter grabs my hips and I let out a little scream.
His hands remain on my hips as I spin around and smack his shoulder. "You couldn't have knocked or done anything that didn't require scaring me?"
"Where is the fun in that?" Carter smiles down at me and holds eye contact with me. That and his hands on my hips burn into my skin making me feel too many things. I turn back to the shelf and try to remain indifferent.
"You're room bleeds hockey. If I break a hole in the wall will pucks are gonna fall out?" I tease, his hands fall from my hips as I walk away from him exploring his room some more. I try to ignore the flicker of sadness that hits me when his hands aren't on me anymore. I shove that flicker down reminding myself that it was self-inflicted.
"I don't know wanna test the theory out? If we get on the bed and make it bang against the wall hard enough..." Carter smirks and sits on the bed and pats the spot next to him. I look at him with a flat look and continue to snoop.
"How mature of you," I mumble and stare at the wall harder. The image of us on his bed him on top of me, his hips rolling into mine, and the sound of his bed frame banging against the wall snakes into my mind. The thought of him on me and in me sends a tingling sensation down my body. I wonder what he sounds like when he co...
"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Carter manages to pull me in between his legs, him sitting me standing. He stares at me with dark eyes and something indecipherable in him. Looking down at him and him looking up at me it feels like he's conceding power or something. He had been holding my hands but let go to move them back to my hips to pull me even closer. My lungs feel heavy and my skin erupts with goosebumps again as he gazes at me so longingly.
Fuck I want him. But I shouldn't right?
A door slamming in the distance knocks me out of this haze and I step back abruptly. "We should go downstairs." I breathe out and exit not waiting for Carter.
Carter trails behind me as we walk down the staircase leading into the kitchen. A younger girl stands in front of the island. Her light brown hair falls down to her waist and is so sleek and straight I swear I can see my reflection.
"Hey Delilah, I have someone I'd like you to meet," Carter says from behind me staying close but not putting his hands on me. Delilah turns around and her eyes dart from me to Carter to me.
"You brought a girl home? I never thought it was possible. This is like a miracle that any woman found you attractive." Delilah quips and moves closer towards us. "Blink twice if you are being held hostage." She holds my hand and I blink twice dramatically to play along. She gasps and says "Carter! You can't go around kidnapping people because you're so undesirable!" She drops my hand and grabs my arm instead of pulling me closer to her and away from Carter.
"Ha ha very funny. Now stop it, if I do say so myself I am a catch."
"Yeah a way to catch an STD." Delilah huffs at Carter's compliment to himself.
I can't help but let my head fall back as I let a laugh out. "I like her," I say and look at Carter but he's already looking at me with a smile on his face and his dimple becoming prominent.
"Yes, I figured you would because both of you guys like to bully me so much. Ok so this is my little sister Delilah, and Delilah this is Teagan."
"Ah, so this is her." Delilah's chin lifts comprehensively. What does she mean by "this is her?" The thought of him talking about me to his family has a smug smile inching up onto my lips.
"You have my brother giggling and kicking his feet in the air when he gets a text," Delilah says so nonchalantly making Carter roll his eyes.
"Okay enough don't you have things to do? People to torment?" Carter ushers his sister to the staircase.
"Ohhh I see... you want some alone time." Delilah winks at me and nudges Carter. Carter groans and ushers her on the first step. He guides her closer to the platform and when they're just barely out of my line of sight Carter whispers something to Delilah. Through his hushed whispers, I can only make out Delilah telling Carter that I'm out of his league.
I'm muffling my laugh when Carter comes back down. "Sorry about her she has no decorum." Carter moves behind me placing his hands on my shoulders guiding me to the island. He pulls a stool out and tells me to sit down while he gets something for us to snack on.
"She's funny it's nice to know that someone is keeping your ego in check when you're at home," I tell him as he disappears into the pantry.
"Delilah is..." He pauses and I can hear ruffling in the pantry as he thinks. "Delilah." He sighs when comes back out with cookies and a bag of chips. He sets the snacks down in front of me and my mind goes back to break and my mom. Sadness pits in my stomach, I keep remembering the disdain my mother looked at me with during dinner.
"I really don't wanna go back for Christmas." The words slip out of my mouth before I even realize what I'm saying. Carter grabs the seat of my spinning stool and twirls me to face me. He's frowning at me now I wish I hadn't said anything about it.
What he does next surprises me. I mean it shouldn't but it does. He wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head in my hair. "I'm sorry," what is he sorry about? "I know you are thinking there's nothing I should be sorry about but I 'm sorry that I can't make things better for you." His voice is muffled by hair. My arms awkwardly lay by my side but I manage to shut off the intrusive thoughts and wrap them around his waist.
"I wish things were better too but it's not and I've accepted how things are." I'm getting sidetracked by his cologne blocking all my senses. I could just stay wrapped up in his arms forever. What am I doing? I pull away and he lets go. He pulls away taking his warmth with him leaving me cold and a pang of regret for pushing him away.
It's for the best. I can't afford distractions right now. But he's been in your life how long now and he hasn't been a distraction. Every time I think about letting him I freeze up and my mind fills up with every worst-case scenario. I'm certain that we share mutual feelings because I don't think this is regular behavior for guy friends. But what if he's playing the long game just to fuck me over? I just can't seem to let him in.
Can't or won't?
***
During dinner, it's just me, Carter, Delilah, and Della. Della said Carter's dad was out on a business trip and I wouldn't get to meet him yet. The lights flicker and the wind howls against the window the shutters smack against the window hard enough to sound like someone is attempting to break in. Out the window, all I can see is the snow building up on the ground and the white flurry pass the glass. It makes me feel like I'm in a freshly shaken snow globe, safe from the outside world.
Carter's hand squeezes mine on my lap pulling me out of my thoughts and back to dinner. He looks at me with worry but I give him a meek smile to reassure him. Delilah and Della watch this exchange and attempt to cover their smirks with their hands as they eat. Carter gives them a warning look making Della smile even harder.
After dinner, Della turns on the fireplace and tells everyone to go to the living room so we can watch a movie. Delilah says she'll pick the movie out and ends up picking some rom-com from the early 2000s about a reformed fuck-boy and a girl in denial over her feelings. I sit on the couch and right as Carter comes closer Delilah plops herself down right next to me. Carter shakes his head playfully and sits next to Delilah.
Della calls for Delilah's help in the kitchen and Carter takes that opportunity to scoot closer to me. "Are you okay?" He asks me. Just this simple question has me feeling acknowledged and seen. Even though I would love to tell him all about my family and whatnot now is not the time.
"Yeah, just tired." The lie slips off my tongue as easily as it always does. Carter's brows furrow and his lips dips into a frown. He doesn't buy it. Della and Delilah come back into the living room with mugs in each of their hands and Carter lets it go. For now.
"Hey you took my spot!" Delilah scowls at Carter and I'm about to tell Carter to give her spot back when Della tells her to sit with her momma. They give a mug to me and Carter and started the movie.
Long after the movie I toss and turn in bed unable to fall asleep. I try to close my eyes and let sleep take over me but my mind is so loud, I'm wide awake. After a couple more tosses and turns I throw the comforter off of me and head downstairs to the kitchen. I try to be as quiet as I can not wanting to wake anyone. The fridge door is open and the light illuminates the kitchen. My feet pad closer to the fridge and I'm met with a shirtless Carter. Oh my... I knew he was fit and was expecting him to look like that. But my imagination did not do him any justice. His basketball shorts hang low on his hips and the fridge light helps highlight his v-line and his six? No eight? I don't even know there's just.... So many muscles and don't even get me started on the trail of hair that's on his lower stomach and trails down to places I can't see. His shoulder so big and his freckles als spread down to the tops of his shoulders. His arms corded with veins and I have to clench my jaw to make sure my mouth wasn't wide open.
"Couldn't sleep?' Carter asks me unaware of me blatantly checking him out. He closes the fridge leaving us in darkness the only thing that can be seen is the outline of his body.
"Nope, I'm wide awake. You?" A sigh of relief almost releases itself from me because now I can't be distracted by his muscles.
"Same the wind is so loud against my windows." Carter moves to turn on the lights that are underneath the cabinets. Damnit.
"Yeah normally I can sleep through that kind of stuff but I guess tonight is different," I say and fail to keep my eyes on his face because they keep dropping down to his chest.
"Why do you think tonight is different?" Carter says with a playful smirk telling me he's aware of me checking him out. He takes a step closer and I take a step back not trusting myself around him.
"Who knows? Maybe it's because I'm in the place where you're ego was born." I shrug and cross my arms over my chest which has Carter's eyes dropping down to my chest. It feels nice now that I'm not the one checking him out.
"Or maybe because you know that I'm sleeping in such close proximity to you." He smiles and steps closer. I can't step back anymore because my back hits the marble countertops.
"That ego of yours is gonna get you slapped one day." I roll my eyes and tilt my head up needing to look up at him now. But when I look at him he looks at me with intensity it has my breath picking up. I don't know if we've been standing in silence for four seconds now or four hours his gaze takes me in and he focuses on my lips.
Through my heavy breathing, I can hear his ragged breath and he leans closer. The anticipation tightens in my stomach and travels down to my clit. He inches closer but not close enough. I take it upon myself and grab the back of his neck pulling him into me. The moment our lips touch I understand what people mean when they say sparks fly. I feel like I've just been revived and am full of this new sort of energy. I've never felt so alive.
I open my mouth and Carter goes feral, his tongue slipping in and his hands move from my waist to my ass. I'm so distracted by his tongue that I don't realize that he's lifted me up onto the counter so now we're at the same head level. One of my hands moves from the back of his neck to tangle itself into his hair. The hand in his hair pushes him deeper into me. Carter wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to the edge of the counter where I'm met with the hardness of his cock straining behind his shorts. The gasp I let out encourages him to pull me even closer and his dick would basically be in me already if it weren't for our clothes. Pressure builds in my core and the lack of movement from either of us makes me ache. I press my chest against his to be able to move against him and the deep groan he releases has me moving faster.
Carter has an arm around my waist and an arm across my upper back so he can have his hand in my hair guiding my face closer to his. I continue to move my hips and Carter's head falls back with a whimper. All of sudden he pulls away and I'm left with the residual warmth of his body and an ache that continues to build.
"Wait, I don't want you thinking that this is what I wanted from you all along. Because it's not and you mean so much more to me." Carter pants out and eyes take him in messed up hair, heated eyes, and his hardness that's on full display even though it's covered by his shorts.
"I did think that's what you wanted but I believe you." I manage to get out but it sounds ridiculous with my breathlessness. I grab his hand and pull him back to me. When he's close enough to my liking I rest my forehead against his. "Just please don't make me feel stupid for trusting me."
"Thank you for trusting me." He places a kiss on the tip of my nose and then another on my forehead. "I know you, so please don't pull away from me now." He pleads as he moves his hands to wrap around me to hug me. The words I know you has my heart beating faster and creates a flutter in my stomach.
"Please stop me if I do," I say truthfully. I don't want to pull away from him it's just something that I do because I'm scared. Carter backs up a bit so he can look at me directly. His hands feel sweaty on my back and his eyes dart around. The confident Carter that I know is nowhere in sight. Why is he nervous?
"Teagan will you go on a date with me?"
Ummm. Hello. Yeah, so I guess I evaporated into thin air and went on a hiatus.