The darkness sealed us, as we stood in the storehouse. He held me through my wrist with one hand and wrapped my mouth with another as I was almost to yell for help. The stillness between us was so peculiar, I was brushing his body, and we were chest to chest, I brought out breaths heavily, even I could listen to his whiffs for an extent attempting to get away from his clasp I attempted to swine his hand off, but his grip was so powerful that my combat had no impact on him. After a while, when I ceased trying to reprieve myself from him he freed his hand from my lips.
"Why are you wandering around at night-?" Came over the voice, which belonged to Ashwattama. His voice had a profound and steady tone. Sometimes his voice came out as husky, it was melodic and I felt impassive when I heard his voice at once, but eventually, I was crammed with bitterness and frustration after a bit.
"What are you doing here-?" I doubted aggressively, if there was light, it could have been apparent through my face, but my voice was not enough for him this time, i screamed at him resulting in him once again wrapping my mouth with his hand, i could feel his hard and stiff hands covering my lips.
"Don't shout Nihira, pitashree is asleep in the room aside." He whispered.
"Will you please let me go then-?" I tried to speak from his grasp, but it became very sweaty to keep up inside the room, I felt suffocated. Incompetent to control it any further, I shoved him getting away from his hold. I instantly came out for some fresh air. The habitat was again quiet and still. The area was all vacant, I stood in front of the door drawing a whiff heavily. I heard his footsteps as he moved toward me.
"Now tell me what are you doing here at this hour?" He whispered gazing near me at the door.
"Why can't you let me do my thing?" I let out firmly.
"I just asked you a question and you have to answer it rather than putting up with another." He mumbled.
I sniffed.
"Wooff- okay I want a mattress," I said, looking at him with furry in my eyes, I was upset by his endless visits and his habit of holding my wrist. It became a daily routine for him to once hold my wrist a day. I was so aggravated by him to the point, that it simmered my blood when I spoke to him.
"Mattress-? So you could have asked me instead. Who told you to rush inside the storehouse at this hour." He said in a meagre voice.
Before he could finish his sentence we footsteps of someone approaching. I checked out the region to look at the citation of the voice. Unexpectedly ashwattama softly moved me back with his arm, and stood in front of me in preservation. Trying to determine the source of the footsteps. I looked at these macular hands that came up to protect me, his blue veins were visible under the moonlight, and he made a tight fist clutching his jaw a bit.
He bent a little to look around, followed by me when I saw Duryodhan coming from his royal tent. Through his face it was obvious that he was asleep, his eyes were all dousy and his hair was chaotic. It looked kinda of cute, the golden chain he wore around his neck was all hanging around his back, and it skimmed funny as he moved toward both of us.
"What are you doing here Ashwattama." He doubted with his comic narrow gazes.
Oh, nothing as such." He replied.
"And what is this kanya doing here along with you." He argued.
"Kanya, seriously kanya-?" I thought to myself.
She needed some help, she wanted a mattress." He replied with some reluctance in his voice.
"I didn't need your hold. I can do it by myself," I said mentally rolling my eyes from Ashwattama.
"Oh really- you can't even stand straight and you'll get a mattress by yourself?" said Ashwattama making a scathing face.
"Please don't tell me you're challenging me," I said narrowing my eyes at him. Meanwhile, Duryodhan stood there hearing to both of us in utmost recreation. He would swerve his eyes from Ashwattama to me every second holding a tight connection with both of us.
"hmm, I'm. And I know you can't carry it by yourself," he said loudly and suddenly reducing his voice. I squashed my lips at Ashwattama, who just contested me, I looked pale. The cold breeze blew through the area, making me a little shiver.
"If you can do it by yourself, the gate is still open. Go and prove it," said Duryodhan, indicating towards the open gate.
Looking into his eyes with wrath and hassle, I made a fist out of my hand and strolled inside the storehouse, rumbling through god knows what was kept inside. The Darkness engulfed me. There was nothing perceptible, except darkness.
"oh, God. Ashwattama." I sobbed looking here and there. I heard a voice, And the merely coming light unexpectedly disappeared, ashwattama and Duryodhan had closed the gate. Terror abducted me as I found myself lost inside the room.
"No! No! No!" I shouted at them, Galloping towards the door, I whack myself badly upon something, trembling towards the gate.
"ouch-I won't spare these boys!!!" I said loudly.
"First get yourself out of here." came the voice of Duryodhan. Who had locked me inside the storehouse?
"if you both won't get me out, I'll shout," I said loudly, slamming on the door.
"you're not supposed to shout!" said Ashwattama, but he was instantly cut off by Duryodhan "Shout then, we won't open the door," he said harmoniously.
"Are you crazy Duryodhan-?" I said shouting.
"Nihira don't shout," said Ashwattama.
"only if you open the door," I said a little slow this time, I was all drenched in sweat, feeling stifled. My heartbeat had increased and I felt frightened of the dark staying inside the room, it scented damp fodder, and in between I could hear rats wandering around the room. I felt afraid of the rats too, that they might bite me in the dark.
Ashwattama and Duryodhan stood outside, I could hear Duryodhan laughing and Ashwattama pleading with him to get me out, as I could shout that might wake Gurudev up. And that's what I was about to do. If they didn't get me out of this instant.
"GET ME OUT!!" I said loudly banging on the door.
Saying this loudly, I saw the old ruptured wooden door opening up and Ashwattama stood there with his typical angry utterance, looking at me with distress and furry, before I could say something he grasped my hand through my wrist and pulled me out of the room, as I quivered upon Duryodhan who stood just beside me, he watched me once but I was ultimately taken away by Ashwattama. He strongly sauntered me to the big banyan tree which was far away from the tents and Ashram.
I could see Duryodhan following both of us.
"Leave me, you idiot," I screamed clasping my jaw and trying to get away from his hold. But he didn't have any impact, and he didn't react to my shoutings and effort.
"Drauni, leave her-What are you doing-?" I heard Duryodhan ordering him to let me go as he followed both of us until he halted under the tree.
He threw me upon the large forum that was constructed under the banyan tree, all of my hair came out from my braids and I almost fell upon my face before Duryodhan held me up, and woke up holding my shoulders.
"Drauni, what is this behaviour-?" he said rousing me up from the platform.
"I told her not to shout!" he said focusing on the last three words. He was so furious and his face had turned all red as he spoke to me in the most assertive way feasible.
"didn't you-just lock me inside a dark room Ashwattama," I said holding my wrist that now hurt very inadequately.
"I didn't," he said glancing at Duryodhan.
"I did Nihira. I'm sorry,"
said Duryodhan looking down in shame, as tears fell in my eyes continuously, I had this big gulp inside my throat that didn't allow me to speak without crying. I felt choked. Incompetent to emit a single word, I looked down at the ground while tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Drauni, you were so rude to her," said Duryodhan to him keeping his hand on his shoulder.
"she urged me to. And when I said I could help her, why was she so stubborn. " let out ashwattama, very severely and full of bitterness. Duryodhan thumped on his shoulder to calm him down, and I saw the Personality of Ashwattama, which I had never visualized. He looked dreadful when he was enraged, his face appeared like he could demolish the whole universe through his rage, his words cut me like arrows and his eyes were profound and hefty, speaking more than his words.
I understood, how important his father is for him. He didn't want to disturb his sleep, for we had been touring for two days and Gurudev might have peacefully fallen asleep now, his turmoil literally would have put an end to me if Duryodhan wasn't here. I had a lot going on in my mind, as my eyes surged out from crying, travelling for two days, and too much going on with me from the past week.
I wanted to home, I just wanted to go away from all of this.
I saw him going away into the storehouse, and bringing those mattresses, meanwhile, I stood there patting off my tears and sitting in silence, whereas Duryodhan stood there looking at me with Sympathetic eyes, he gave me an estimable smile and came beside me taking the support of the platform under the shade of the banyan tree. I stood motionless, as he began to speak.
"Nihira, I should Apologize from his side," he said very calmly, and I didn't speak, sitting in silence and distress.
"he's very cold-hearted, and I don't know but I have always seen him like this," he said folding his hands.
"with everyone or he has some problem with me-? I said peeking at Duryodhan.
"Everyone, even with me sometimes," he said with a little chuckle.
I stood silent.
"I won't talk to him, he's the rudest person I've ever met," I said when a tear rumbled down my cheek, I wiped it off immediately. The silence was benign, the prejudice I had for Duryodhan eventually broke, as we talked more, the night went by a little fast, and I saw Ashwattama staring at both of us through the bed that he lay outside the tents, looking at both of us, while we talked and chuckled for the whole night, I could see him walking up, again and again, to check on us.
I went back inside the tent, bidding goodbye to my very first day at the ashram, closing my eyes I was consumed by the sentiment of loneliness and despair, dark clouds enveloped me, as I once again was soaked in tears until I heard his name.
Krishna.
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