"Huh? What do you mean?"
Dahan-dahan akong bumaba mula sa pagkakabuhat niya at sinuot ang heels ko. Naiiwan na kami ng mga kaklase namin. Bumuntong-hininga siya at napatakip na lang sa mukha niya. Hindi ko makita ang hitsura niya dahil nakatalikod siya sa akin.
"Yori?" tawag ko.
"This... Why are you doing this? Why are you saying all the things I wanted to hear when we were still together? You should have said those things then. Why now?" nahihirapang tanong niya.
Hinawakan ko ang braso niya para mapaharap siya sa akin. My lips parted when I saw the emotions on his face. He looked like he was having a hard time. He looked like he was hurting, and he wanted to cry.
"I'm sorry..." Iyon na lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Then stop this, please!" he said in frustration.
"Paano ba?!" sigaw ko pabalik. I could feel my chest tightening. "Paano, Yori?! Gusto ko rin namang tumigil na! Gusto na kitang layuan! Ayaw na kitang mahalin! Gusto ko nang matapos lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko, pero paano?! Sabihin mo naman sa akin! Turuan mo ako kasi ikaw, mukhang nakausad ka na! Ako, nandito pa rin, eh... Ano b'ang magagawa ko?"
He made a frustrated sound and looked up at the sky, covering his face. He sighed again, trying to control his breathing. He looked like he didn't know what to do.
"Is it the alcohol talking?" he suddenly asked.
I scoffed and shook my head. "Seryoso ako..." Nawala na 'ata ang epekto ng alak sa sistema ko. Baka 'yong hilo lang ang nawala. Iyong tapang ay nandito pa rin. "You said it was okay to greet you and talk to you."
"I also thought it was okay. I already moved on from you, Nat. I really did... I tried so hard to move on from you. I worked hard to heal all the wounds you inflicted on me. Our relationship gave me so much pain. Okay na ako, eh. I don't love you anymore. I told everyone that I didn't love you anymore... and actually believed that myself. So... Why? Why am I so confused?" Nakita ko ang mga luhang nagbabadya sa gilid ng mga mata niya. The light from the nearest lamp post reflected on those tears.
"I know... I'm sorry. Sinubukan ko rin namang mag-move on sa 'yo. Sinubukan kitang layuan. Sinubukan kong huwag kang kausapin, pero ikaw naman ang lumalapit at kinakausap ako. Paano ako makakapag-move on, Yori? I know it was all normal to you, but it wasn't to me... kasi mahal pa kita."
"Don't say that," he said under his gritted teeth.
"But that's the truth. I still love-"
"You should have told me that when I asked to break up," he hissed.
"But we can't go back in time anymore, right? I'm sorry, Yori. I was wrong... Ako ang dahilan kung bakit tayo naghiwalay. Sinaktan kita, and I'm really, really sorry. I know that this is selfish. Telling you that I still love you is a selfish act, but I have to let you know. I'm not over you yet... at hindi ko alam kung paano. I'm sorry, Yori." Lumuha na rin ako habang humihingi ng tawad sa kanya.
Tears fell from his eyes as he stared at me. Punong-puno ng sakit at galit ang mga mata niya habang lumuluha siya sa harapan ko. He wasn't saying anything; he was just letting the tears flow down.
"I did everything to get over you. You knew... You were aware... that I really loved you a lot. I loved you more than you could imagine. Nothing in this world could even describe how much I loved you... So imagine how hard it was for me to try and forget you. Ngayon... Bumabalik ka sa akin. This is so selfish, Nat. You're right... You're so selfish... Why are you doing this to me?" Yumuko siya habang nakatakip ang kamay sa mga mata. He was crying so much that his tears were already hitting the ground, even though he was trying to wipe them away.
"It's selfish... but this is what I feel right now, Yori. I have to let these feelings out... Kung ayaw mo pa rin sa akin pagkatapos ng lahat ng 'to, then I'll try to move on. At least nasabi ko sa 'yo ang nararamdaman ko."
"So now, everything depends on me? Pagkatapos mong sabihin ang nararamdaman mo, okay na? Pwede ka nang umusad? Paano naman ako, Nat? What will I do after knowing all of this? Hindi mo ba naisip kung ano'ng mararamdaman ko pagkatapos mong sabihin 'yan?"
Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at tumingin nang deretso sa kanya. "Okay, then. I'll tell you what I want. I want us to get back together."
He stared at me for a few seconds before looking away and letting out a scoff. "And then what? You'll just hurt me again... How can I go back to you for the third time, Nat?"
"I'll be better-"
"You already said that... and no, it's not just about that. Third time, Nat. I already gave our relationship two chances. If I allow you to hurt me again for the third time, then that's already my fault. I can't... I can't give this relationship another chance. You wasted those two chances... That should be enough."
"Yori, I'm sorry... I know. I know I wasted those two chances. Everything was my fault, from the first time I left you... to the second time I made you feel that you weren't loved. I'm sorry... I truly regret everything I did to you. I was selfish... and it would sound ridiculous if I still asked you to give me a third chance. I'm sorry." Napayuko ako at pinunasan ang luha ko.
He already told me his answer. He can't give our relationship another chance, and I can't blame him for that. I hurt him enough. He had already suffered enough. It was all my fault... Kaya wala akong karapatang umiyak sa harapan niya.
I just had to hear those words. I promised myself that I would let him go after getting rejected. Those words would push me to move on. Kaya ko 'to. Kakayanin ko 'to. Dapat lang, dahil kasalanan ko lahat ng 'to.
I looked at him again and gave him a small smile to hide my pain. "Wala na talaga, 'no?" I asked for the last time.
Umiling siya sa akin, nakaiwas ang tingin. He was trying to control his emotions.
"Hindi mo na ako mahal?" I asked again.
That made him look at me. Hindi siya makasagot habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko.
"Hindi na dapat," he answered.
"Pero?"
"I've been confused these past few weeks because of you. I was really convinced that I didn't have feelings for you anymore, so I thought it was okay for us to talk and be near each other again. But those actions just took me back to square one. I'm really having a hard time here, Nat... Even rejecting you is so hard for me... But I know I have to do this for myself."
"It's okay... Naiintindihan ko." Tumango ako sa kanya.
Pero sobrang sakit. Hindi ko alam kung saan ko ibubuhos lahat ng luhang pinipigilan ko. I needed to stay strong in front of him. I didn't want to look more pathetic than I was.
"So, after this, I don't want us to act normal anymore. Don't talk to me anymore. Don't greet me... Don't come near me." He looked away, not wanting to see my face anymore.
"Okay... Don't worry. I won't bother you anymore after this. Nilinaw mo na sa aking hindi mo na ako babalikan, so I can move on now." I still smiled at him like my heart wasn't being stabbed repeatedly. "I'll try to avoid you. I promise."
"You won't have to try for so long. I'm migrating to Japan after graduation."
Napaawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. Ah... Muntik ko nang makalimutan. Oo nga pala. May job offer na siyang naghihintay roon, at nandoon na rin ang pamilya niya. Naiwan na lang siya rito para tapusin ang kurso niya.
Right... There really was no chance from the start. He was bound to leave anyway.
"Nat! Yori! Kanina pa namin kayo hinahanap! Tara na! Nandoon na sila!" Pareho kaming napalingon sa kaklase namin. Umiwas din kaagad ako at pinunasan ang luha ko. Wala na dapat akong balak sumama pa roon pero dumating na 'yong iba at hinatak na kami.
I just saw myself being forced to be in one karaoke room with Yori... After everything that happened? Paano ako magpapanggap na masaya ako?
We were seated on opposite sides. Nasa kabilang dulo ako at nasa kabilang dulo siya. Alam kong napansin nilang galing kami sa iyak pero hindi na sila nagtanong. Jap was beside Yori, trying to talk to him but Yori was just staring in front. Ako rin, sinusubukang pasayahin nina Ollie at Caitlyn, pero hindi ako makangiti nang maayos.
"But now I don't understand why I'm feeling so bad now when I know it was my idea..." sabay-sabay na pagkanta nila. Napapailing na lang ako sa lyrics. Ang saya-saya nila habang ako ay dinadama lahat ng 'yon. "I could've just denied the truth and lied... But why am I the only one standing stranded on the same ground? Wu-hoo!"
Hindi nakakatuwa 'yong mga kinakanta nila. Kami lang dalawa ni Yori ang hindi sumasali sa katuwaan nilang lahat. Naiwan kami sa couch habang nagsasayawan sila roon at nagkakantahan. Nilabas ko ang phone ko at nagsimula nang mag-book ng sasakyan pauwi. Hindi ko na kaya. Parang kaunting pitik na lang sa akin ay iiyak na ako.
"Oh wooh! 'Wag na 'wag mong sasabihin... Na hindi mo nadama itong... Pag-ibig kong handang ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo!"
Tangina, naka-Kitchie Nadal medley ba 'tong mga 'to?
Tumayo na ako at kinuha ang mga gamit ko dahil nakapag-book na ako ng ride. Mabilis lang akong nagpaalam sa kanila at hindi na sila hinayaang pigilan ako paalis. Tuloy-tuloy akong naglakad palabas nang hindi sila nililingon.
Pagkasakay ko ng sasakyan ay bigla na lang akong naluha. Tinakpan ko ang bibig ko para hindi marinig ang mga hikbi ko. Buong byahe pauwi ay umiiyak lang ako. Hanggang sa makarating na ako sa loob ng condo ay umiiyak pa rin ako.
Habang naliligo, nagbibihis, at hanggang sa paghiga ko sa kama ay umiiyak ako. Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko gamit ang unan habang umiiyak. Pinagdadasal ko na lang na sana maubos na lahat ng luha ko para makatulog na ako.
Dinama ko lahat ng sakit. I embraced the pain so I could finally let these feelings go. Kaya ko 'to. Magiging okay rin ang lahat. Hindi naman siguro palaging masakit. Darating din ang araw na hindi na ako nasasaktan tuwing maiisip ko siya.
"He's going to leave anyway... Wala na talaga," I told myself. "It's okay. Sinabi mo naman ang nararamdaman mo. You won't have regrets..."
I was doing everything to convince myself that everything was going to be okay. It took a lot of strength for me to stand up and go to school again, knowing there was a chance we would bump into each other again.
Day one.
I was back to day one. This time, I'll make it work.
Mabuti na lang at hindi ko na sinabi sa mga kaibigan kong nagkikita kami ni Yori noon kaya hindi ko na kailangang ipaliwanag kung bakit wala na ulit. We just remained exes. Iyon lang 'yon. Tapos na 'yon noong naghiwalay kami.
"Ingat, Nat! Mwa!" Bumeso ako kina Kobs pagkatapos ng klase. I got through the day normally. It was just another normal day... only that I was hurting a lot on the inside.
I distracted myself again so that I wouldn't think of him. Mas lumalabas na ako at hindi na ako nagkukulong sa kwarto ko. I was spending more time with my family and friends. My smile was going back slowly.
"Ugh, talo ulit ako! Fine!" Ngumuso ako at inalis ang buhok kong nakaharang sa may noo ko para hintayin ang punishment ko kay Kye. Naglalaro kami ng board games.
He didn't hit my forehead. He just tapped it, refusing to hurt me. Napangiti ako habang pinapanood siyang ligpitin ang board game na nilaro namin. He was such a gentleman.
"May crush ka na sa room n'yo?" curious na tanong ko. Umiling kaagad siya sa akin habang nililinis ang mga kalat namin sa lamesa. "Sa college, ano'ng plano mo? Same pa rin ba?"
"Bachelor of Fine Arts Major in Sculpture," sagot niya. Ah, so same pa rin. Iyon talaga ang gusto niya. Well, he was really good at arts. Mana siya kay Mommy. Mas into sculpting nga lang siya. Kye would be so successful in his field, and I would be the proudest sister in the future.
Days passed by quickly. It used to be so slow before. Ngayon, hindi ko na mabilang kung pang-ilang day na ako sa pagmo-move on ko. I already stopped counting... so it was probably working already.
I wasn't checking his social media accounts anymore. Wala na akong balita sa kanya. Sometimes, I would see him in the campus, pero iiwas ako kaagad at iiba ako ng direksyon. I also blocked his number just in case malasing ako at contact-in ko siya. A lot has changed.
"Tapos na ang finals! Inuman na!" masayang sabi ko sabay akbay kina Lai at Seven. "Nagpa-reserve ka na ng table sa Epitome, Lai?"
"Of course." Ngumisi siya sa akin. "One call lang 'yan kay Tita Sam."
"My mom's hosting the celebration party for us at home," sabi ni Seven pagkabasa ng text ng Mommy niya.
"Okay! Doon muna tayo! Let's go!" Tinaas ko pa ang kamay ko at tumuro sa malayo. Sumakay na lang kami sa kotse ni Lyonelle papunta sa bahay ng mga Camero.
It was our last finals week in college. Graduation na ang kasunod. Grabe, parang hindi totoo! Parang hindi pa nagsi-sink in sa akin lahat! I wasn't even dwelling on how I did during the finals. I was just happy that it was over! Hindi ko na rin inaabangan kung ako ba ang batch valedictorian sa program namin. Everything really changed. Changing my perspective about things made me happier.
"Congratulations, seniors! Road to graduation!" pagbasa ko sa banner. Iyon ang nakalagay. "Waa, thank you po!" Tumakbo kaagad ako at niyakap sina Tita. Niyakap ko silang lahat sa sobrang saya ko. Tapos na kasi ang lahat!
Ang daming pagkain! Akala mo naman ay graduation party na 'yon. Excited na tuloy ako sa kung ano ang graduation gift nina Mommy sa akin! Habang kumakain kami, nagpaplano na rin kami nina Seven kung saan kami magse-celebrate ng graduation. Kami-kami na lang din ulit ang magkakasama.
"Let's go on a trip overseas," suggest ni Lai.
"Omg, what if mag-beach tayo?!" suggest ko rin.
"Init," sabi ng reklamador na si Seven. "Let's just celebrate at home."
"Napaka-corny mo talaga! Wala kang choice kung hindi sumama, kaysa magmukmok ka rito buong summer! Lumabas tayong tatlo! Tingnan mo si Lai, hindi naman siya nagrereklamo!" Hinampas ko siya sa braso. "Gago, sige, kapag ikaw gumanti..." Natakot kaagad ako sa hampas niya.
After ng celebration party ay nagbihis na kami nina Seven para lumabas. Na-convince ko na si Seven na uminom. Once in a blue moon lang 'yon kaya dapat kong sulitin 'yon! Tatlo lang kaming nag-celebrate sa Epitome. Sino pa ba? Wala naman na kaming ibang isasama!
Nag-ayos talaga ako for that night. Si Mommy pa ang nagkulot ng buhok ko at Mommy ni Lyonelle ang nag-make up sa akin. Naka-tube dress ako kaya crossed legs akong nakaupo sa may couch na ni-reserve ni Lyonelle para sa aming tatlo. Nagpuntang CR si Seven at may pinuntahan si Lai na table kaya naiwan muna ako sa couch namin.
Mayamaya, may lumapit na lalaki para magpakilala. Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya at umaktong busy ako magsalin ng alak sa baso ko. Awkward lang siyang nakatayo roon dahil hindi ko siya kinakausap. Nang umalis siya, may lumapit ulit. Hindi ako naghahanap ng boyfriend, at mas lalong hindi ako maghahanap ng boyfriend sa club! Nandito ako para mag-inom at mag-celebrate, hindi lumandi!
"Mag-isa ka lang ba? Want to go to our table?" tanong ng lalaki.
"She's not alone." Napaangat ang tingin ko kay Seven na nakabalik na. He stared the guy down until the guy was forced to leave. Napailing na lang si Seven at uminom ng alak sa sinalinan kong baso.
"Tara, dance floor!" aya ko sa kanya.
"I'll follow. I'll just get another drink," sabi niya.
Nauna na ako sa dance floor at nakahanap ng grupo ng girls. In-adopt nila ako at nagsayaw-sayaw kami roon. Ang problema lang ay may mga lalaki na namang lumalapit. Napakunot ang noo ko at lumingon sa lalaking nasa likod ko.
"Pwede space?" reklamo ko sa kanya.
"Anyone bothering you, babe?" Lumingon ako kay Lai na pumunta sa likod ko para lumayo 'yong lalaki. Lumingon siya sa lalaki at tinaasan ito ng kilay. "What's up?" masungit na tanong niya kaya umalis kaagad 'yong lalaki.
"Omg, boyfriend mo?!" tanong noong isa sa mga babaeng kasayaw ko.
"Ah, hindi! Best friend ko 'to!" pagpapakilala ko. "Lyonelle Juarez!"
"Oh my gosh, Juarez? As in..."
"This is embarrassing. Let's go," bulong sa akin ni Lai at hinatak na ako paalis. Kumaway ako sa mga babae para magpaalam na. Nakasalubong pa namin ni Lai si Seven kaya hinatak na lang din namin pabalik sa table.
Ganoon naman ang style namin. Kapag may nagta-try lumapit ay nagpapanggap na lang din akong girlfriend ng isa sa kanila at ganoon din sila sa akin. Wala namang naghahanap sa amin ng landi, eh!
Nakailang bote rin kaming tatlo. "Tara na, Seven! Dance! Have fun! Are you still not over it?!" I urged him.
Napailing siya sa akin at uminom na lang. Nakatayo lang siya roon at binabantayan ako dahil nahihilo na ako. Hindi talaga napipilit 'tong lalaking 'to maging out of character, eh! Bwisit!
"Waaa, I love you guys!" Wala na, umiiyak na ako habang lasing. It was not because I was in pain. It was because I was so happy. I could feel all the love from my friends and family. It made my heart so full.
"Damn, she's drunk," sabi ni Lyonelle. "Seven, are you feeling better?"
"A bit..." Nag-thumbs up si Seven. Nakapikit na ang mga mata niya at mukhang makakatulog na sa couch. Kabaliktaran niya ako! Ang dami ko pang energy kahit lasing ako!
"Tangina, Lai! Miss ko na siya!" reklamo ko.
"Huh?!" Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. "What the fuck, Nat-"
"Eme lang!" Malakas akong tumawa at tinuro pa ang mukha niya. "Ikaw naman! Strong na 'tong taong 'to 'no! It's all in the past, sabi nga nila..." Ngumiti ako at uminom ulit ng shot.
I could finally joke about it without feeling any pain. When I lost count of the days... that was probably a sign that I wasn't thinking about him anymore. Kahit banggitin ko ang pangalan niya, wala na akong sakit na nararamdaman.
Although I acknowledge that he was a huge part of my life. Like before, I promised myself that I would always root for him, kahit saan man siya dalhin ng mga paa niya. I know he will be successful anywhere he goes. I trust him... and it's also because I know him.
I was able to witness and feel his love. I was thankful.
"Okay, pupunta lang akong restroom. Kaya ko, promise!" sabi ko kay Lyonelle dahil mukhang gusto pa niya akong ihatid. "Promise nga! Dito ka na lang! Baka may manguha kay Seven!"
Naglakad ako papuntang restroom. Medyo nahihilo ako kaya kumakapit ako sa may railings at sa pader. Ang labo na ng dinadaanan ko kaya huminto muna ako at pinikit ang mga mata ko.
Pagkadilat ko, nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil natanaw ko ang table ng mga lalaki. Nandoon ang mga kilala kong pro players ng e-games. Agad lumipat ang tingin ko sa lalaking tahimik na nakaupo habang may hawak na baso. Nakasandal lang siya at ang braso niya ay nakalagay sa may sandalan ng couch. Napakurap ako nang magtama ang tingin namin.
Hindi ko alam kung ngingiti ako kay Yori o ano. Umiwas na lang ako ng tingin at nagmamadaling pumunta sa restroom. Naghilamos ako dahil baka namamalik-mata lang ako. Nag-retouch na rin ako ng makeup at nagpabango bago ako lumabas.
Hindi na masyadong umaalog ang mundo sa mga mata ko. Tuloy-tuloy akong naglakad hanggang sa madaanan ko ang couch nina Yori. Natigilan ako nang may tumayong lalaki galing sa couch nila at hinarangan ang dinadaanan ko.
"Hi! Mag-isa ka lang?" tanong niya. Mukhang inabangan pa talaga niya ako para magpakilala.
"Hindi," sabi ko. Dadaan na sana ako nang humarang ulit siya sa dadaanan ko. Nilabas ko ang phone ko, handa nang tawagan si Lai. "Excuse me."
"Nagmamadali ka ba? Halika, shot ka muna dito!" aya niya at kumuha ng baso. "My treat!"
"Uh..." Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko.
Napalingon kami nang tumayo si Yori. Nagtama ulit ang tingin namin. He put his hand on his friend's shoulder and gestured for him to sit down with a simple movement of his head.
"Where's your table? Hatid na kita," sabi sa akin ni Yori. Nagulat ako dahil kinausap niya ako. I thought he was going to ignore me.
"Uh, doon... Pero bibili ako ng water." Tinuro ko 'yong bar area.
Tumango siya at sinamahan akong maglakad papunta roon. Umupo ako sa high chair habang naghihintay at umupo naman siya sa tabi ko. It was obvious that he was trying to keep our conversation short.
"Kumusta?" tanong ko sa kanya para hindi kami tahimik. "Congratulations. Tapos na 'yong finals, and I heard you also won your competition recently."
"I'm fine. Thank you..." He gave me a small smile. "Sorry about that guy earlier." Judging by how he was calling the guy 'that guy,' mukhang hindi sila close. Baka gathering lang din ng players.
"Okay lang. Nagulat lang ako at medyo lasing na rin." Kinuha ko ang tubig na inabot sa akin ng waiter. Dahil naiwan ko ang wallet ko kay Lai ay si Yori na ang nagbayad. "Thank you. Sorry... Babayaran kita pabalik!" Parang nawawala na naman ang alak sa sistema ko.
"There's no need." Nag-order din siya ng drink kaya nanatili akong nakaupo roon. Testing na lang siguro 'to kung talagang wala na akong nararamdaman sa kanya. "How have you been?"
"Okay naman! Masaya!" Lumawak ang ngiti ko. "Kailan ang flight mo? Right after graduation ba?"
"No. My mom and sister are going here instead to attend my graduation," sagot niya naman at ininom ang alak sa baso niya.
Nakakainggit naman kaya nag-order din ako ng drink ko. Sabi ko kay Yori ay babayaran ko na lang siya. Nag-message na lang din ako kay Lai na may nakita akong kakilala ko kaya maghintay muna sila roon. Siguro okay na... Pwede na kaming mag-act normal. Ilang buwan na rin ang nakalipas. Siguro naman wala na 'to.
I was getting drunk again. Natakot tuloy ako para sa sarili ko dahil baka may masabi na naman ako!
"Can I see you after graduation?" tanong niya bigla.
Napakunot ang noo ko at binaba ang basong iniinom ko. "Pwede naman... pero bakit?" Natawa ako dahil nakakapagtaka lang na siya ang nagsasabi noon.
"I'm leaving soon. It will probably be the last time we'll see each other, so I want to give you something. Consider it a graduation gift." He smiled at me, and I smiled back.
"Okay... Then I'll also give you something." Pagkatapos noon ay inubos ko na ang nasa baso ko. Sakto ay nahanap na ako ni Lyonelle. Takang-taka siya nang makita si Yori sa tabi ko pero binati na lang din niya. "Dala mo wallet ko? Bayaran mo si Yori."
"It's okay. It's my treat." Tumayo na rin si Yori para magpaalam. "Una na 'ko."
"Nice to see you again, bro! Ingat ka!" Tinapik ni Lai si Yori sa balikat. Nang makaalis si Yori ay lumingon sa akin si Lai na parang hinuhusgahan niya ako. "What the fuck was that? How did that happen?"
"Ano ka ba, friendly encounter lang 'yon!" natatawang sabi ko habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa table. "And... I'm glad to see him again. No joke! Promise! Hindi na ako nasasaktan!" masayang sabi ko at tinaas pa ang kamay ko bilang pangako.
"Hindi ko alam sa inyo..." Napailing na lang siya at tinulungan si Seven tumayo dahil nakatulog na. "It's a basic rule not to communicate with exes," pinagalitan pa niya ako.
"Sus, ako pa nga..." pagbibiro ko sa kanya at tinulungan siyang buhatin si Seven. Inakbay na lang namin siya sa balikat namin. "Isa pa 'to, eh." Napailing na lang ako kay Seven. Ang hina naman nito! Buti pa ako, nakapag-build na ng tolerance!
Hinatid lang kami ni Kuya Adrian isa-isa pauwi. It was such a memorable night. Ang daming nangyari. Sayang, hindi ko napaiyak si Seven o kaya si Lyonelle! Nakakainis naman! Pero okay lang! May next time pa. Char.
After a few weeks, I was notified by the school admin that I was the batch valedictorian. Summa cum laude rin. Sumigaw ako at agad tumakbo palabas ng kwarto para ibalita kina Mommy. Everyone was so happy! Dad even got me a bouquet of flowers and my favorite cake.
"Ikaw na lang talaga nagbibigay ng bouquet sa akin, Daddy... Tsaka sina Seven," pagbibiro ko.
"Yeah. Don't settle for less," he said.
"Hahanap ako ng mas sweet at mas mabait sa 'yo, Daddy! Wait mo lang!" desididong sabi ko sa kanya.
"Good luck with that," pagyayabang niya sa akin.
"Hu-wow!" exaggerated na sabi ko. "Pogi, ah?!" pang-aasar ko pa.
Our graduation day arrived. Sa morning ang graduation ng department nina Yori at sa hapon naman iyong sa amin. I heard he was the batch valedictorian of their program too.
Giving a graduation speech in front of everyone felt surreal. Pinapangarap ko lang 'to noon. I suffered and struggled a lot to be in this position. Ngayon, nandito na siya sa harapan ko. I felt happy, but I knew I would still be happy even if I weren't in that position. I was just happy to graduate, regardless of the awards.
After the ceremony, a lot of people went to me to congratulate me. I also took a picture with the girls. Lahat kami ay may hawak na bouquet. My dad and Kye gave me one. Iyong ibang mga bouquet na pinadala nina Lai at Seven, pati ng mga Tito at Tita ko ay hawak na muna ni Daddy. Ang dami kasi! Iyong iba ay nasa sasakyan na.
Nilabas ko ang phone ko nang makatanggap ako ng message kay Yori sa Instagram. Mabuti na lang dahil naka-block sa akin ang number niya.
"Thank you, girls! Congratulations!" sabi ko kina Kobs, Zahra, at Laya.
"Huy, 'te..." Siniko ako bigla ni Kobs kaya kumunot ang noo ko.
"Gago, Nat! Ex alert," bulong ni Zahra.
"Huh? Nasaan?" nagtatakang tanong naman ni Laya.
Lumingon ako sa kung saan sila nakatingin at nakita ko si Yori na naglalakad palapit. Nakasuot pa rin siya ng semi-formal attire at nakasabit sa braso niya ang toga niya. Iyong isa niyang kamay ay hawak ang graduation cap niya.
He gave me a bouquet of tulips. Napangiti ako at tinanggap 'yon. "Congratulations," sabi niya sa akin.
"Congratulations! Ito na ba ang ibibigay mo?" tanong ko.
"No." He laughed a little and started walking. Sumabay naman ako sa kanya at nagpaalam muna kina Mommy. We walked until we reached the area near his building. Walang tao roon dahil busy ang lahat sa graduation venue.
He stopped walking and got something from his pocket. Inabot niya sa akin ang copy ng graduation photo niya na may message sa likod.
I was so thrilled! Because I did the same thing!
"Oh my gosh, pareho tayo ng naisip!" Kinuha ko rin mula sa wallet ko ang copy ng graduation photo ko. We exchanged photos and laughed. "Congratulations to us! Congratulations, Mister Valedictorian."
"Congrats, Miss Valedictorian," he said, smiling.
I spread my arms and invited him for a hug. He walked towards me and hugged me tightly. Yumakap din ako sa leeg niya at pabirong ginulo ang buhok niya.
"Thank you for everything, Nat," bulong niya.
"Thank you, Yori. I'm grateful that you became part of my life," sabi ko rin habang yakap-yakap siya.
Nang kumalas kami sa yakap ay hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. I smiled and squeezed his hand like I didn't want to let go... but I had to.
"Ingat ka. Always take care of yourself, okay?" bilin ko. "I will always root for you."
"I will always look forward to your success," sabi niya rin sa akin. "So... I guess this is goodbye."
"Yes. You better hide yourself well. The next time I see you... I won't let you go again," pagbibiro ko sa kanya. I simply repeated the words he told me years ago.
"Funny," he said, shaking his head, pero natawa rin naman siya. "The next time we see each other again, maybe we can... grab a coffee or something."
"Sure, and then talk about life. But that's just a possibility. Hindi natin alam... kaya ngayon pa lang, I already want to say that I'm proud of you."
"And I'm proud of you." He pinched my cheek, so I glared at him. He smiled more at my reaction. "Well... You should go now. Your family's waiting for you."
"Okay. Goodbye, Yoritsune." I tiptoed and gave him another hug.
"Sayonara, Estella," he whispered.
After that, I let him go, and we parted ways.
But this time, both of us walked away with a smile.
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:)