Church woke up, stretching his arms above his head. He glanced around the room, noting the sea of sleeping students. Only a couple had gotten up. Alpha glanced out the windows. The first rays of sunlight were barely showing. Glancing to his right, he found Tai sleeping on another man's stomach. The man's sister —from the looks of it— was watching, unsure what to do.
At lightning speeds Church stood up, rushing over to Tai, where he proceeded to take a shit ton of pictures. 'This is gold. Pure blackmail gold. I can hold this over his head for his entire time here.'
With a shark-like grin that seemed unnatural for his face, he turned to the woman. She only stared back with a questioning look on her face. "You want some blackmail for your brother too?" Church held up his scroll, wiggling it for emphasis.
A second passed before a grin matching Church's flashed across her face and nodded. They traded scroll numbers and Church sent her the photos. "Good choice, blackmail is always better than no blackmail."
The woman hummed, shifting her weight to her other foot. Anyone could obviously see she was uncomfortable with how close Church was to her, but he didn't seem to care. "I... have to agree. You can always use it later on as well."
Church snapped his fingers. "Exactly, no one else understands that. You're the first person I've met here that actually fucking gets having leverage is always beneficial."
She nodded. Clearly she saw the same thing Church did in their peers: arrogance, stupidity, pretentiousness, and most importantly weakness. "Same, everyone else seems to have an ignorant outlook on life. You, you're different though. Did you grow up in the kingdoms?"
The AI flipped his head to the side. "...You could say that. I'm guessing you grew up outside the kingdoms, so I'm not gonna even ask. Do you have a name? If not, I'm gonna make one up and you will probably not like it. Unless you have some weird as shit fetish... You don't, do you?"
She shook her head, her face hardening, but the glint in her eye told him all he needed. "Raven. My name's Raven."
Church gave her a blank stare. "Raven?" A nod. "Like as in the bird?" Another nod. "Sorry, but that's the weirdest fucking name I've heard."
Raven put her hand on her hip, cocking it to the side. "Oh really? Well, what's your name then?"
"Church; the greatest name ever."
Raven gave him the "you fucking shitting me" stare. "You made fun of my name, yet your name's Church? I don't think you can make fun of someone else's name, like seriously just don't."
Alpha scoffed. "Fuck you too." Raven rolled her eyes. Church glanced at the time, giving a nod. "I'm gonna go get food, you can come along if you want to. I don't care."
Raven shook her head. "I should get my brother up. Catch you later."
Church turned away from her, waving his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah."
Church wondered for but a second if he should wake Tai... but thought better and continued walking away. 'Seriously, Tai isn't my fucking problem. I don't even like him. I hate him. He's like a Tucker that I can't boss around. Well, I never really could boss Tucker around, but my point still stands.'
He headed out, wandering around Beacon looking for the cafeteria. Beacon was a lot bigger than he initially guessed. It was large enough to be a town. Large arcades of arches stood proudly on display; the marble polished to a shine that dared to reflect the sun's rays.
Church saw plenty of first and second years roaming around Beacon, but oddly he didn't see any third or fourth years. They could have just been on missions, yet the probability of them all being on missions at the same time was non-existent. 'God, I'm starting to sound like Delta.'
After a little more wandering —a very extended period of wandering— Church found the cafeteria. The place was huge. It had towering ornate pillars that held up the extremely high ceiling.
Church shook off his momentary shock. That they would go out of their way to make something so... impractical was mind boggling. Remnant was an apocalyptic world, and they were wasting their time making shitty stuff like that. It just didn't sit right with him.
Church made his way to the food line. A scowl was set on his face as he had to listen to the most boring ass conversations that surrounded him. Eventually he grabbed the garbage food, which was so stale you could probably fight with it. Before he quickly found an empty table.
His mood did improve slightly once he was seated alone at the table. He had dumped Tai, met someone who wasn't in a fucking fairy tale, and now was alone. What more could he want?
His good mood did not last long as the bane of Beacon plopped down in the seat next to him. 'How the fuck did he get here so fast? Did I miss a map of the place somewhere? That's it, I must have fucking missed the map.'
"Why didn't you wake me?" Tai glared playfully at Church, who gave him the "why would I" glare. "Oh, come on Church, you obviously like me. You keep following me around and hanging out with me. So what gives?"
Church's eye twitched, before he turned sharply to Tai. "First, you fucking followed me! I ran away from you, a lot. How is that not clear? Second, this is not hanging out. Third, I fucking hate you, go away!"
Tai shook his head. Clearly the guy had cotton in his ears. 'What the fuck is with him? Is he physically incapable of hearing anything bad about himself?'
Church shook his head, stuffing the remaining bits of his food into his mouth, before getting to his feet. He turned his back on Tai, shoving his hands into his pants pockets, and headed out of the cafeteria.
Hot wind blew across his face, causing him to pull his hood up over his head, trying to at least block out some of the late morning sun. 'Why can't this school have some trees? It's too fucking hot.' With that thought in mind, he hurried over to the locker room. During his trek to find the cafeteria he had stumbled across the locker room, thrice. Finding his way back to it was not that challenging.
The locker room was far less grand than the cafeteria or the ballroom, but it still had the same high ceilings with detailed carvings on it. Searching for his locker took longer than expected only because they were organized in an unfathomable way. He punched in his code, the latch making a soft click as it unlocked. He reached in grabbing his baby and cuddled his sniper rifle, giving it soft pets. Yeah, it was odd, but he was a badass with a sniper rifle. He was allowed to be odd; nobody messed with a badass. He grabbed his second weapon, sheathing it on his back, before he hefted his sniper rifle with both hands again.
Glancing around the locker room, Church saw Raven and her brother readying their weapons, having a hushed but heated discussion. Church thought about going over to them, but decided to let them be. It had been a habit for Tucker and Caboose to come running to him with their problems or arguments. Because of them he couldn't stomach any kind of complaining anymore.
Church walked out of the locker room, to the cliffs. Or he at least tried to: He may have gotten lost once, or twice, or seven times, before he found the cliffs. The academy desperately needed maps, everywhere.
He stood on his launch pad, looking at the other students that were there. Most looked like idiots. Which, sadly, didn't surprise him at all. Raven stood two tiles away from him. Knock-off Raven stood right next to Church. The last student to arrive was Tai, who took the spot on Raven's other side.
Ozpin cleared his throat, before he started his speech. "I'll keep this brief as I'm sure you're all ready to get started. If you are standing on a black tile, the person to your left will be your partner for the next four years."
There were murmurs from around him, but the most easily signified was Raven, her eyes widening as she shouted an undignified. "What?!"
Church couldn't help but laugh a little at her; it seemed Ozpin shared his opinion as he smiled and nodded. "Yes, Miss Branwen, you and Mister Xiao Long are partners." Church did not envy her. "Once you land in the forest you will make your way north, where you and your partner will grab a relic and bring it back here. Any questions? None? Good. Now, let's get this started." Ozpin took a sip of his coffee, hiding his smirk as the students were launched into the air.
The reincarnated AI had one word that described Ozpin; sadist. But honestly who could blame the guy? When you had to work with little shits like the snobs screaming for their lives it probably got pretty dull. He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. It was a little difficult at first with the sound of the rushing wind, but it was easy once he imagined the sound as Doc's whining. After a beat, he opened his eyes and looked for his partner in the air, who was looking for him as well.
Church grabbed his second weapon from off his back —a sickle— then swung it at his partner; the blade flew off, only attached to the handle by a chain. Knock-off Raven saw it coming and let it wrap around his own weapon, allowing Church to swing himself closer. The two partners were able to pull off a landing together. Sure, they ended up in a big pile of flailing limbs, but they were alive.
Pushing off Knock-off Raven's head, he got to his feet. Most people would care about smashing their partner's head. Church was not one of them. A groan from Raven's brother let him know the guy was still alive.
Church sheathed his sickle and aimed his rifle. He scanned their surroundings; all he saw were bushes and trees. Nodding firmly, he started moving. His partner, however, was a little slower. "So... My name's Qrow, what's yours?"
Alpha glanced at his partner for a brief second, making sure Qrow was going to follow him, before he returned his eyes to ahead of them. Grimm were still a threat. Granted, Tex could probably kick their asses, like she did to the guys, but that didn't mean that the Grimm couldn't sneak up on them.
"Church." Qrow opened his mouth, probably to say something about his name, when Church beat him to it. "Your fucking name is Qrow you don't have room to judge." Church pushed a branch out of his way, letting it swing back and hit Qrow. 'Haha. Qrow? Raven? I get it. ...Wow, their parents hated them.'
Qrow scowled, breaking the branch before chuckling at his remark. "Yeah, you got me there." He also stomped on it, for good measure.
'It actually might not be that bad being stuck with Knock-off Raven. As long as I never have to see Tai again, I'm happy.' With renewed determination Church trampled a path through the brush. Normally, he would have cared about crushing endangered plants but today he truly didn't give a fuck.
A few paces behind him, Qrow tripped on a root, falling flat on his face. Church placed his hands on his hips, giving him a pointed look. "You're not an outdoor guy, are ya?"
Qrow got to his feet, patting down his coat, before crossing his arms. "I just have a... bad luck streak."
The AI raised an eyebrow, slowly nodding his head. "Uh huh. Just don't bring that bad luck down on me and we're cool 'kay?" Church had a feeling there was more of a story behind his words, but he was cool not unpacking any of that yet, or ever.
A low growl sounded from their right in the bushes. Qrow pulled out his weapon and rushed in. Church opted for a more patient approach; drawing his rifle and aiming down the sights. He racked a bolt, before a loud bang echoed in the area. A Beowulf fell over a hole in its forehead from Church's well placed shot.
A large Grimm crept out of the brush, black mist curling off its body, the haunting red eyes twirling with red light, the bone mask staring into them. "Oh great, Beowulf Alpha."
Church dived out of the way of a strike from one the other Beowolves, flipping his rifle into its second form, a sickle. He slashed its chest open, then cleaved its head off. Spinning on his heel, he hacked into another one, black goo spraying everywhere. Qrow slashed at one with his sword, before he stabbed its chest, the insides rolling out.
Rolling to his left, to avoid a strike from the alpha, before he swung at it, but the Grimm had jumped away. Church kicked a Beowolf at Qrow, who stabbed its head. Church ran at the alpha, diving at its legs, under the giant swings from its arms. Dirt and grass covered his vision, but he didn't need it; he knew where to strike. He slashed at its underside, going for the weak point. The alpha finally realized what was happening and kicked Church into Qrow.
Church didn't waste a moment and leapt to his feet. Qrow pulling himself to his feet. "Knock-off Raven, can you keep the other Beowolves busy?"
"Oh, you mean the fifteen Beowolves that have us surrounded? Sure!" Sarcasm dripped from his words, but Church didn't care.
"Good, I'll work on the alpha, you take care of the rest." Church launched himself at the alpha.
"I was being sarcastic!" Qrow's bitching went unheard by Alpha.
Church grabbed his other sickle, before he jumped over one of the alpha's swings. He cut at the armor with one of his sickles, while his other blocked the alpha's other arm. He jumped at its chest, slashing it with both weapons. The alpha howled in pain. Church lodged his right sickle into the alpha's chest, before cleaving its head off. Black goo flew, coating Church in it.
He swung his left sickle at four of the remaining Beowolves. The chained blade slashing into their sides, killing them all. Qrow finished the last Beowolf off, with a slash to its neck.
Alpha flicked the sickle in his hands trying to get some of the goo off, before wiping it on the grass but his efforts proved fruitless. He gave it one annoyed glance before sheathing the sickle —which he named Caboose's Retribution— and stepped over to his other sickle which was buried deep in black goo from the Beowulf alpha.
Church groaned, but reached into the muck, pulling his weapon free. He held it at arm's length, the slime dripping globs off it. 'At least before I didn't have to touch the disgusting shit we always had to deal with, I had my armor.' With a heave he switched the weapon —coincidentally named Tucker's Vengeance— into its rifle form.
Qrow watched on with a disgusted look. "That's really gross." Church merely flicked the goo from his unoccupied arm onto Qrow.
Stepping through the puddles, Church continued on. "Hey Knock-off Raven, come on, pick up the pace. I would like to get to the temple before the fucking sun sets."
Qrow jerked his head towards Church before jogging to catch up to him. "About the nickname... What even is that? And why Raven?"
Church blinked back to reality, his mind having quickly wandered. "What? Oh, that. Well, you're like a spitting image of your sister if she was a guy. So, you know, it's fitting."
Qrow stopped walking. It took a second for Church to realize, before he stopped as well. "You know Raven? When did you meet her?"
Church shrugged nonchalantly. "This morning. We had a friendly chat while you slept."
"Okay, but how did you know I was her brother? Did she tell you?"
Alpha groaned, flipping his body to face his partner. "No, she didn't tell me, I'm just perceptive. Besides, it's not like you two look the fucking exact same. Oh wait, you do. Yeah, it's a dead giveaway man. Anyone with half a brain can see you guys are twins. I'm sure even the assholes from Atlas can see it." Qrow stared at him in shock; he didn't expect that answer. "You done with your little bitch session? I'm leaving whether you're with me or not."
Qrow stared a second longer, before he snapped his head up to Church's retreating form. "Yeah, I'm coming."
'What the hell is wrong with everyone in this place? One guy is a perv and this one's acting like he's a spy. If this is going to be normal, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'll take up drinking, who knows?'
So focused on his inner monologue, he didn't see the rock in his path that made him fall flat on his face. Church growled, glaring at the inanimate object. "Fuck you! You fucking piece of shit."
"It's a rock, Church. I don't think it can do much."
Church promptly flipped him off, but continued walking without saying anything else. The two walked for another ten minutes without incident, aside from Church tripping on the occasional tree root or rock. They made it to a clearing, where they saw Raven and Tai fighting a Deathstalker.
Concerned for his sister, Qrow immediately ran in. Church took a calmer approach again and deftly climbed into a tree. He steadied his rifle, then took a shot. The first one smashed into its armor but didn't do much. The second shot hit one of its eyes. Church sighed, realizing it would be better to get in close.
He dropped down from the tree with a thunk, transforming his rifle into its sickle form and grabbing Caboose's Retribution with his left hand. He wished for his semblance to be of some use, but unfortunately invisibility had no real effect against Grimm. The creatures of Grimm saw with emotions. His semblance did not cloak his feelings, just his physical form.
Nodding in confirmation, Church rushed at the Deathstalker. Hopefully it would be too distracted by Raven and the others to notice him. The distance to the Grimm was actually a lot farther than he had originally guessed. His feet slid on the ground; it was torn up from all the fighting, but it did not deter him.
Alpha swung at the Deathstalker's legs, cutting right, then left, avoiding a stomp, then repeating the process. A Deathstalker's weak spot was harder to find; it couldn't really hit you when you were directly under it, but its stomach was armored to hell, making the legs seem like the correct option. Raven rushed in to help him take out the legs. Tai kept the Deathstalker focused on him at the head. Qrow was behind the Grimm, trying to take out the stinger.
Church wrapped Caboose's Retribution around a leg, pulling the severely weakened limb out of its socket. He used the backswing to throw his weapon at another leg. It only sliced it, but it was damaged.
Raven sheathed her weapon, the bright blue blade disappearing into its sheath, before she flicked the dust chamber and drew her sword; the blade now a deep red. She swung her sword at the Grimm's legs, fire creeping around each hit. Raven struck at the limb once again, finally chopping it off.
Knock-off Raven flipped on top of the Deathstalker. he sliced at the stinger, stomping down at the exoskeleton. The now enraged Grimm stabbed down at Qrow with its stinger, that endeavor only led to it striking itself.
Tai was... Well, he had managed to hit its face a lot, as its bone shell was now cracked. But he also had to deal with the pincers so his hits were more sporadic then the others. Church was honestly impressed with how Tai had managed not to die, yet. He would have guessed his death on the first pincer strike.
Raven spared Church a glance, before she rushed out to help her partner. Church shrugged, continuing hacking away at its legs; it wasn't like he cared. Church slashed at the last leg that was keeping it up, making the Grimm fall to the ground. He was able to roll out of the way, before the heavy Grimm fell onto him.
Alpha backed up, looking at his handy work. "Church, what are you doing?! Come help!" Tai bashed its face again, before looking at Church.
"It doesn't have legs! What's it gonna do? Fuckin' crawl after you?!" Raven too noticed that it was immobile, so she backed up, panting. Tai jumped back as well. Qrow soon joined them.
Transforming Tucker's Vengeance into its rifle form, Church lined up a shot. Drawing in a breath like he had been taught, he waited for the cross hairs to line up perfectly before firing on one eye. A bang and squelch was his reward; the other eyes soon followed after, blinding the Grimm. Flipping his weapon back to its melee form, he rushed the Grimm.
He slid to a stop in front of its face. He threw Caboose's Retribution at it, whipping his weapon around, he sliced up its face. A smash from its right pincer forced him to dodge to the side. While the Grimm was recovering from the attack, he slid under its head, slicing it open; black goo again covered him.
Church breathed heavily as he sheathed Caboose's Retribution and turned Tucker's Vengeance into its rifle form. He stood there for a second, letting the goo slowly drench him. Luckily for him his hood had been up so his hair was relatively clean. Turning around, he walked past his partner. "Do you want the fucking relics or not?" Raven looked at Qrow, who shrugged and followed after the reincarnated AI.
Alpha looked at the relics and couldn't help but sigh. The "relics" were bags of cookies. Each bag had two cookies, probably one for each partner. But honestly, Church wasn't that disappointed, at least he was able to eat the relics.
Qrow groaned. "Cookies? We were sent after cookies?"
Alpha patted his shoulder, as he saw his partner struggling to wrap his head around it. Church realized something that made his skin crawl: the bags holding the cookies each had a match that probably decided who was on whose team, but what made it even worse was the fact Church could already tell that Raven would pick the match of whatever bag he picked.
The AI growled, grabbed two of the bags, tossed one to Raven while he kept hold of the other. He narrowed his eyes on her. "You owe me." Raven just smirked. Church huffed, opening the bag and eating one of the cookies.
"You're eating the relic?" Tai had eyes as wide as dinner plates as he watched Church eat the cookie.
"The bags are the deciding factor, not the fucking cookies." Church then walked off, Qrow trailing behind him. Raven grabbed Tai's collar, pulling him the way Church was heading.
Church didn't really care that they were following him like lost sheep, for the moment all he was focused on was flicking off as much of the goo as he could. Once sleeping arrangements had been settled he would have to do a thorough cleaning of his clothes and weapons.
Tai caught up to Church, walking silently next to him for a minute before speaking up. "That was amazing! The way you just shot out the Deathstalker's eyes with ease while it was thrashing—" Church tuned him out as he went on in detail about how cool Church was. Okay, it wasn't that he didn't love the praise and everything he was saying was true, but everytime Tai spoke it annoyed him. It was a cruel twist of fate that Tai got his voice and he didn't. It was a voice he had used for decades, and a voice he loved. It just wasn't right coming out of someone else's mouth. "—I definitely don't have that kind of skill set. Hey you could teach—"
Alpha slapped his hand over Tai's mouth, glaring at him. "That thing you were going to say is one hundred percent off the fucking table, got it?" Church dragged Tai by his face down to his eye level. The stone cold look in Church's eyes made Tai squeak in fear and nod quickly. Church released him, pushing Tai away from him. "Good."
The rest of the walk back to Beacon was spent in silence. Nobody wanted to anger Church, who they all had recently learned was the most dangerous member of their group. They made it back just in time for the ceremony; they of course were the last team to be made.
"Celestia Peach. Peter Port. Bartholomew Oobleck. and Glynda Goodwitch. The four of you have claimed the red relic. From this day forward, you will work together as team PPOG(Pomegranate), led by... Celestia Peach!" Ozpin gave the new leader a smile as she was absolutely shocked.
Ozpin then motioned for the slime-covered Church and Qrow to come up onto the stage. As well as Raven and Tai. "Summer Rose. Taiyang Xiao Long. Raven Branwen. Qrow Branwen. The four of you have claimed the blue relic. From this day forward, you will work together as team STRQ(Stark), led by... Summer Rose!"
Church's entire team was confused as they looked at him. "Yeah, my first name's Summer but I go by my middle name Church, got it?" Church growled, glaring at them all.
"It looks like things seem to be shaping up to an... interesting year." Ozpin announced, ending the ceremony.
Team STRQ however, didn't leave immediately, for they stood off to the side questioning their leader. "Why would you want to go by Church? Summer is a way better name." Tai had his arms held out, trying to understand why.
"Why don't you go by shithead? It suits you so much better. I go by Church because I choose to go by Church and if you fuckers don't stop questioning me, I'm going to kill one, or all of you in your sleep. Or, I'll just snipe you with this sweet rifle when you're not expecting it. Got it?" Church growled again, petting his beloved sniper rifle, trying to showcase his threat. Not a second later he walked off.
'I don't need this shit. Why can't they just keep their mouths shut? It would make things a lot simpler. Damn it Ruka, why couldn't I just be named Church? It's my real fucking name! And fuck you Ozpin! How did he even know my name was Summer? I signed every paper Church Rose, not fucking Summer Rose! So how did he even know? Did Ruka tell him? No, Ruka never told anyone in the settlement, so no, he would never have told Ozpin. But that begs the question: how did Ozpin know?'
Church found the room he was assigned. It was rather small, decorated only with four beds, two dressers, and a single desk. Church shrugged and picked out his bed, the one farthest away from the others. He walked over to his side of the room. He didn't have much so he didn't need that much space. Church claimed the highest drawer on the dresser, dumping his backpack onto his bed, he sorted out his things. He shoved his backpack into the drawer, as well as all his other stuff, save for the night's sleepwear.
Alpha went into the bathroom, where he pulled his ponytail out and undressed. He turned on the water and stepped into the shower. He put his arm against the wall and rested his head against it, letting the water run over him.
He missed the guys. Sure, sometimes they were the most annoying guys in the universe, but they had their good moments too. And right now, he was missing them more than he ever thought he would, or even could he didn't know he liked them that much. Fighting alongside his new team didn't feel right.
"Fuck!" Church growled. He hated feeling this way, but at least he wasn't alone with feeling like that. He was pretty sure Tex and Carolina hated it; neither of them liked to say goodbye either.
After getting all the goo off him, he stepped out of the shower and pulled on his sleepwear. He grabbed his weapons that he had put in the dry sink, before he started the long process of cleaning them. He was slow and meticulous. He finally knew what soldiers meant when they said a weapon felt like an extension of yourself. When he wielded them they felt like a part of him, just as his armor had felt like a second skin.
He heard his team enter but paid them no mind as he finished cleaning the weapons, reassembled them, wrapped them in a cloth, and placed them underneath his bed. He flopped onto his bed, sleep quickly overcoming him.