012. you've opened my heart
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ATLAS DIDN'T LET GO OF ESTHER THE ENTIRE WAY BACK TO THE BEACH. He was scared as though the moment he'd let go of the blonde, she'd disappear just as everyone else seemingly had in his short life. Atlas faced enough loss and grief, so when he told Esther that he couldn't think of the person he was to be without her, he spoke the truth. It may have been sudden, considering it had only been days since meeting each other—becoming allies—there was this unmistakable spark between them.
Esther wanted to ask what he heard. The blonde teenager guessed what her brother heard, continuously worried for him alongside Atlas. Yet, the state of Atlas left him unable to talk about it without breaking down, and Esther didn't want Atlas to show his vulnerability to the Capitol more than he already had. She knew that Atlas was already beating himself up about letting the momentary weakness he felt be shown to the public—Esther could see it in the brunette's eyes. So she didn't push, nor did she ask.
They made it to the beach, everyone being distraught from what occurred. Atlas and Esther stayed beside each other, still standing as the rest sat down. Johanna went to gather fresh water for Katniss, Finnick and Atlas. Katniss and Peeta sat in silence together with Beetee and Finnick separating himself from everyone, sitting in the ocean for comfort. It was a habit that Esther picked up on Finnick—whenever he was dealing with the trauma the games left him with, she'd always find him by the water of their home. Esther sadly inhaled at the sight of her brother, tightening her grip against Atlas's hand.
The boy saw the girl's gaze being glued on her brother, reassuringly squeezing her hand. Esther peered at Atlas, a frown contorting on her face. Despite Atlas not saying any words, nothing had to be said for Esther to understand what the boy was trying to say. She smiled thankfully at Atlas, returning the boy's squeeze. "I'll be back, okay?" Atlas glanced at Finnick sitting in the water, slowly nodding his head. Esther passed him a smile full of gratitude before walking and sitting beside Finnick.
She sat amongst the nurturing waves, feeling a sense of relaxation swarm through her being at the familiarity of it all. To have the water crashing down on her softly made her smile warmly. Yet, Finnick didn't have the same expression as Esther, instead holding a faint and distant tint in his green hue eyes. They were tangled in a moment of silence before Esther spoke first. "The water reminds me of home." Finnick didn't meet her gaze. "Annie's okay, you know? She's safe back at home, and so is Mags." Esther hesitated, "And ... you know, I'm okay, too." Then Finnick glanced at the girl. "I know the Jabberjays sounded like me. The way you said my name after—the way you grabbed me—that's how I know."
She reached for the man's hand under the water, and despite the difference in temperature of the water covering their bodies, they felt the heat of each other when holding hands. "Do you remember when I volunteered? What you said to me?" Finnick slightly creased his brows, nodding his head leisurely. "You asked me what volunteering meant for me. And I've known the answer since the beginning—it meant signing my life away." Finnick's frown contorted deeply, shaking his head, yet Esther beat him to speaking. "Only one person is making it out of here alive, and it isn't going to be me. I knew that—I know that," she whimpered.
"So it has to be you, Finny. At least one of us can make it out of here and continue the Odair name, right?" She chuckled breathlessly with no pure humour in her tone—only sorrow and tears. Finnick didn't know what to say because there was a pondering thought in the back of his mind that she might be right. But he knew something that she didn't know—the rebellion that was beginning to form, yet for the revolution to work, they needed Katniss out. Most tributes knew, but Finnick was the one to decide to keep Esther in the dark, putting her safety as his priority.
Without a word being spoken, Finnick slung an arm over his sister's shoulder as she stared beyond them, allowing the girl to freely lean into his body.
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After the Odair siblings sat in silence within the ocean, Beetee shortly announced he had a plan, being called by Johanna to return to the shore. Just as Esther said she would be, she was back by Atlas's side. Despite not holding hands, the mere presence of each other standing next to one another was enough to comfort them endlessly. Beetee's plan, however, was to leave the beach, heading to the specific tree that was struck by lightning every night at midnight.
Beetee planned to leave the beach for the other tributes on the opposing alliance team and get them to go there as it was the safest place—with them off the beach, there was almost a guarantee that the career pack would circle back there, taking the group's place. With them by the water and the damp sand, the coil connected from the tree and the water, Beetee was sure they'd be electrocuted. Esther was sure it was something similar to how Beetee won his games, proving that the games weren't all about strength and ferociousness, but intelligence was also important in surviving.
While waiting for dawn to work on their plan, needing the man alive as promised for the plan to work, Esther and Atlas sat alone quietly. Occasionally, Esther's eyes would swoop over to Katniss and Peeta, narrowing down on them. She knew they were planning to leave. With the careers pack gone, there was no need for the alliance they gained—there was only going to be one survivor, and Esther knew that Katniss wasn't going to let it be them but Peeta. Not even Katniss herself believed she was going to survive. Just like Esther, she wanted it to be her District partner.
Atlas noticed the brain of Esther going off, seeing the cogs turning through her eyes. He waved a hand in front of her vision, knocking the girl back to reality. He creased his brows lightly at the girl's perplexed expression, asking what was wrong. "Katniss and Peeta are planning to leave," she simply stated. At the said names, Atlas also turned his line of sight in the couple's direction. Atlas knew Esther was right as the two were hushed in their conversation, slightly strained away from everyone. "As soon as the careers pack is gone, they're going to leave us behind." There was no resentment in Esther's tone as she spoke, which confused Atlas. How could she not be angry when knowing the tributes from District 12 were giving up on them? "It's smart. They don't want to shoot first, and neither do any of us. The best thing is to leave."
Atlas slowly nodded his head in agreement. As much as Atlas wanted to spill what everyone was holding back from her, he couldn't with the constant cameras and microphones watching and listening to them. If Snow were to find out, they wouldn't have to worry about the careers killing them, but the president's wraith, which Atlas knew all too well. He tensed his jaw, changing the subjects with his head lowered to the floor. "I told you about what happened to my mom, but she isn't the only one who I've lost," he admitted. Esther's mouth dropped agape, peering at the boy. "I had a sister—older sister. She'd be around Finnick's age."
Esther blinked, gazing at Finnick. She couldn't imagine the pain that would overflow her at losing her brother, the mere thought causing her breath to hitch. Instead, she pushed the thought away, continuing to listen to the Walker boy as he solemnly spoke. Atlas couldn't bother worrying about the cameras and the mics connected to them secretly. The only thing rummaging through his mind right now was the screams of the fallen he had heard previously, replaying in his mind like a broken record.
"Her name was Cynthia." Atlas smiled at the memories flushing his mind, yet was replaced with a frown when he realised there were no memories to make anymore. It would only remain as a remnant in his mind. A saddened reminder of his denial of accepting Snow's deal—in denying the president's power. A saddened reminder of the guilt that plagued his entire being. "She's been gone for a while now, and the jabberjays sounded like her. I almost forgot what her voice sounded like, but now I remember. I just hate the way I remembered it."
Esther nodded her head in understanding. Being eight at the time of her parents deaths, she didn't remember much about them. When thinking about their faces, it'd be a blur—a puzzle that Esther couldn't seem to fit together. "I don't remember my parents much either. I look up to Finnick for that—to be that parental guidance I need in my life, but it isn't the same." Esther sighed, meeting Atlas's eyes. "I couldn't imagine losing him. He's the only family I have, so I—we—have to cling onto that tight, you know?"
Atlas thought of her words. Esther was right, and then did Atlas begin to understand why Finnick was keeping Esther in the dark. Both siblings protected each other in different ways, even if the other didn't know about it. They were saving each other, which caused Atlas to breathlessly scoff. Esther frowned at the sound from Atlas, yet the boy was deep in his realisation. He understood now, because it's the same thing he would have done for his sister if she were still with him. "You and Finnick remind me more of my sister than I ever thought. Both of you protect each other without a second thought."
Esther lightly shrugged, feeling the flush of heat building over her face. "I guess," she said. A silence overtook them for a moment, overlooking their surroundings. "How did—how'd she die?" Esther blinked at the abrupt question, gulping and was quick in wanting to fix her mistake. "Sorry, I didn't mean to push, you know. I just—"
Atlas shook his head assuringly. "It's okay. I'm proud to have the chance in spreading Cynthia's name. It's the least I owe her." Esther placed her head within the crack of her knees that were pulled to her chest, her face potraying the interest she had in listening to the boy. "She didn't die naturally, or from being a part of the games. She was killed." Esther saw the conflict in the boy's eyes, knowing he was hiding something, but not from her. But from the Capitol. From President Snow.
The next few hours the group had until their plan was to be set in motion, Atlas spoke about Cynthia and the greatness she created in the boy's life. How his older sister was the reason for who he was today. Despite his rambling going on for hours, Esther sat back, listening to the whole thing with open ears as she gripped his hand for the reassurance the girl knew Atlas desperately needed in his time of loss. Not only that, but the butterflies continued to swarm her stomach each time she saw his smile, being unknowing that the same happened with Atlas.
Even in the wrong place, unbeknownst to them, they were falling in love. A love that both needed in supporting each other. A love that would anchor them when they were in their deepest and darkest parts of life. Without them knowing, both of their broken hearts were slowly opening up.
authors note.
is it obvious that this a filler chapter before all the action begins ? LMAO
they're so cluelessly in love, it hurts. but, this is a slow burn, soooooo, just be ready for that !! not only that, but esther continuously comforting him and finnick is so soft and sweet. she's a little cutie patootie who's going to be, eventually, ruined ( i apologise in advance :) )
only a couple chapters left of act one—if you haven't before, please vote and comment as it helps with motivation and let's me know whether people are actually enjoying the story, but a special thanks to those who have supported the book and characters.
i wouldn't be here if it weren't for the support, so thank you to those again !!