I gathered my bearings, took a deep breath, put on my large smile, and left my room
There wasn't anyone near my door and the fucking music was too loud for me to hear anyone talking, so I wondered aimlessly until I found everyone in a group
"JAX!" Ragatha yelled when she saw me
"Jeez why're you being so loud" I said, wincing away at the loud voice
"What do you mean, you've been gone for days! We thought something got you"
"Couldn't you just have Caine look for me, you know he has trackers in like all of us"
"He said your dot disappeared" she told me
"How is that even possible dollface" I said, in a tone that made it sound like I was talking to an insane person
"So we all figured you died, hence why we're all in a group" gangle said, with her comedy mask on
I tried to hold the other me back from going to break gangles mask, but I couldn't. It's like I've lost control. Like I'm not even the main personality now.
"JAX STOP" ragatha yelled at me
"Oh come on, crybaby can handle it" I told her, well, not me. It was him. The other me. I can't get him to go away anymore
"THAT DOESNT MEAN TOU SHOULD DO IT!" She yelled again, I tried to walk away from her, but I couldn't. I was stuck here, or I guess the other me was keeping me here. I hate being yelled at, it's gotten worse since my "dad" yelled at me
"YOUVE BEEN BACK FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES AND YOUR ALREADY MESSING WITH THINGS!" She shouted
I managed to take control of my body, shoving the other me back into the depths of my mind, for now.
I immediately stepped away from ragatha, she was overwhelming me and it was kinda scaring me
"S-sorry, I di-didn't mean to" I said, avoiding eye contact
Ragatha just looked confused, but I could see in her eyes that she calmed down
Before he took control again I figured I should probably apologize to gangle
"I'm sorry gangle, truly" I told her
"Uhh thanks?" She said, sounding as confused as ragatha looked
"What the BLEEP is up with you?" Zooble asked
"N-nothing I just felt like I should apologize" I replied
"Are you feeling ok Jax?" Ragatha asked
"This didn't happen because of me did it??" Ragatha said sounding concerned
"No, this isn't your fault, it's... his" I replied
"...what?" Zooble said
"Looks like I have to leave.. haha, again, I'm sorry" I said solemnly before he took over
"What are y'all looking at??" He said sounding annoyed
"What the BLEEP was that?" Zooble asked, rolling their eyes
"I have no idea what your talking about" I replied
"You just apologized to me" gangle said
"HAH like I'd ever do that" i said rolling my eyes
"Y'all can stop trying to gaslight me now, this isn't funny
"Shes not lying, you actually said that" ragatha spoke, looking a little shocked
"JAX when did you get here" Kinger yelled, despite the fact he's been here the entire time
"A while ago buddy, you must be real close to losing it" I said laughing at my own joke
"Actually Jax, I think your closer to losing it than me" Kinger replied embodying 🤓 energy
"What makes you think that hoohaw?" I said in a condescending tone
"If I'm correct you just changed personalities back there, which is a clear sign of- OOO IS THAT AN INSECT COLLECTION" he yelled before running off in some random direction
"Why the BLEEP is he going on about personality changes?" I asked
"It did kinda seem like what happened" ragatha replied
"Nah, I'm just tired, having different personalities sounds insane" I said, hoping to gaslight them
"Yea I guess it does sound weird" gangle spoke quietly
"Wait, so where were you while you were missing??" Ragatha asked, having the realization no one knew where he was while he was missing
"My room" I said nonchalantly
"For multiple days?? And it didn't even seem like you knew you were missing that long" ragatha said, making a point
"Time works weird here" I shrugged
"I guess your right..." she said, not sounding completly convinced
"As much as I'm loving this conversation we're having, I'm gonna leave, y'all are boring, I hope everyone takes offense to that" I said before walking away
'Did the wimp me really take over back there? I don't even remember that happening.' I thought to myself
'Maybe he's getting stronger??'
'I really hope the whole "sleep deprived" exscuse will work a few more times, I can't risk anyone finding out about our little predicament
What should I do now? I didn't really have a plan after I left them. If I go back to my room he'll regain control so I guess I'll stay out and about.
I didn't even realize I was walking towards kaufmo door, I didn't even realize I was staring into his crossed out picture, until it was too late
"Jax?" I heard ragathas voice from behind me
I didn't bother turning around, it was like I was cemented into place.
"Jax are you ok?" She asked
"Are you crying?" She spoke
I hadn't even realized I had tears running down my face
"Uh... yea I'm fine, you can leave" I told her, not looking her in the eye
"Does it bother you? That he abstracted?" She questioned
"Hah! No I'm just looking at his door in pity, how could he just give up like that?" I said, attempting to roll my eyes, but failing since my eyes were heavy with tears
"Jax, you can tell me the truth" ragatha told me
And that's when I lost control, I'm not sure if the other guy got more control or if I became weak; but I lost control either way
"Yea it BLEEPING bothers me" I said with a shaky voice
"He was my friend... and I just ran away from him like a BLEEPING coward"
"Jax, that's a normal reaction anyone would've had" she said trying to comfort me
"You had the heart to stay with him and help, and I ran away. It's not a normal reaction it's just me being a coward" I told her
"I've had others abstract before kaufmo, and I wanted to try and help this time, every other time I ran away like you, I don't think your a coward and I doubt kaufmo would"
"He's never coming back..." I said, whilst choking on a sob
"Can I hug you?" Ragatha asked
"N-no, please don't" I asked her
"It'll be okay jax, we can't fix the past, we can only look for a way to help him and all the others, and we can't do that if we're stuck on the past" she told me
I decided against telling her I've been trying to find a way to help for years now, I've been through enough emotional turmoil in the past 5 minutes, I didn't need any more right now
"Yea I guess you're right" I said, avoiding eye contact
"Are you ok? Do you need help back to your room?" She offered despite the fact my room was 10 steps away
"N-no I'm fine, thanks" I said before I started the very short walk to my room
I entered my room and closed the door behind me
If I'm being honest I was way too lazy to spell check this chapter as much as the others, so I truly do apologize for any spelling errors. ALSO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 3K READS. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine getting this many reads, I'm grateful for everyone and the support they give! The next chapter is probably going to be a while, 3 or more days most likely. Thank you all for being patient with me, and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!