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Her eyeballs scanned her environment for what seemed like a minute before she sighed, a one of relief because she realized it was just another of her dreams.
Then she sighed again, of exhaustion that time around.
She was exhausted of waking up like that everyday, she was exhausted of her fears and she was exhausted of having to lie to her mother every single day she leaves the house for the hospital. She hated that the most because since the incident, she couldn't look in her mother's eyes for more than one second, afraid she would get caught.
So she planned on telling her after she goes through with Zaeem's discharge. She could only hide it that long after all and the burden was getting heavier than she could carry.
More importantly, she knew her mother deserved the truth.
Nahla cleared off her thoughts and got out of bed, she entered the bathroom to do her daily sanitary routine mostly because she needed to get to the hospital early. The earlier she got everything done with, the better.
Anwar was the first person Nahla called after sitting to think about where Zaeem would live after his discharge. She knew he was the only one she could approach with the issue and get an instant solution and she did.
Anwar owned a house outside town which he made their family vacation house. It got all the requirements for someone to live in because they do go almost every summer so, he agreed to let Zaeem live there. At least until he regains his memory or at least until they get a better alternative.
That among many was one of the reasons why Nahla loved her step father unconditionally. He was her knight in shining armor, he had always been the one to save her anytime she falls.
For that, she set her mind to always cherish and love him.
As the last water drops fall on her smooth tender skin, she walked out of the shower cubical and put on her bathrobe before making her way out of the bathroom.
She sat by her mirror and applied some lotion to her skin, then moved to her closet to chose a set amongst her clothes to wear for the day. She chose a white and brown overall gown and its paired hijab and niqab before she changed into it.
After she was completely ready to leave, she picked her well arranged backpack and exited the room to her mother's room.
She found her mother; Farah reciting the holy book so she sat beside her on the bed and recited with her. At least until Farah came to a stop about five minutes later.
"I'm leaving Ummie" Nahla announced to her mother. "Okay Nahla be safe!" Farah smiled and patted Nahla's head gently before she stood up to leave. "Uhmm actually almost forgot. Abbi said to get the key of the vacation house from you, I am to give it to someone today after school" Nahla said.
"Who?" Farah asked. It was natural for her to ask because she was a mother after all, all mothers are cautious about anything they do."I do not know" Nahla shrugged looking anywhere but her mother. "If perhaps you're not in a hurry, there's something I wish for us to talk about"
"Sure" Nahla nodded before she sat back on the bed beside her mother.
"Tell me" Farah demanded calmly. "What Ummie?" Nahla asked, not because she was pretending but because she genuinely didn't know what her mother was referring to. "Nahla I've known you lied since the day you told me your father went out of town suddenly"
Nahla wasted no time in looking up to her mother to see if she meant what she said. "How?" Nahla asked knowing clearly she wouldn't escape to tell her mother the truth. "You never knew how to lie Nahla, you get caught easily. And also, your father activated a tracking app on my phone that if anything was to happen to him, I could use it to find him. I never used the app once but the day I figured you were lying, I opened the app"
All the while, Farah's eyes became glossy, looking like she would cry any moment. Nahla though couldn't understand why she wanted to cry at first, not until Farah continued speaking.
"It showed me that he was at the hospital Nahla. And when I wanted to check after he said he'll leave for Kleinmachnow, I didn't find the app on my phone which meant he deleted it. Please tell me, Is Anwar dying? Is he sick?" Farah completed with a question directed to Nahla. Even though she was afraid of the answer, she had to ask because it was eating her up.
"Why would you think that Ummie?"
"Because you both have been acting weird since that day especially you Nahla. You don't eat anymore, you go out early everyday and come back late and you also don't sit to chat with me anymore, why? I even asked Aalim and he told me he takes you to the hospital everyday. To add to you that you pack double the food you normally pack for school, I am not blind!" Farah cried.
What's pain?
Seeing tears in your mother's eyes and the reason is you!
Nahla couldn't believe she made her mother shed tears because of what she hid from her. But she never meant for it to hurt her, if anything she was trying to protect her frail heart.
"I'm sorry Ummie" Nahla cried and dragged her mother into a hug to console her. "I'm sorry, bilhaq I didn't mean to hurt you" Nahla sobbed. "Then tell me the truth please, it is all I ask for" Farah begged. "Abbina is not the one in a hospital, it is someone else" Nahla started after releasing her mother from the hug.
"On the day I went to Khala Noor's house to get the fabrics,..." She narrated every single detail to her. "The house keys are for him too, just until he gets back his memory. But Ummie bilhaq it wasn't to hurt you, please forgive me" Nahla sobbed.
"Shhh, it's okay" Farah voiced. No doubt, she was very angry at Nahla for keeping such important thing from her but she hated the sight of her in pain. She knew Nahla regretted hiding it so she chose her daughter's happiness over her anger. "For my sake, stop the tears" Farah added. That worked because Nahla nodded and smiled.
"I'm still sorry though" Nahla apologized yet again, she knew she had to do all it takes to get her mother to forgive her.
"Let's bring him here, he can stay in the guest room" Farah said choosing to ignore Nahla's apology, she didn't need another apology to forgive her. "Really Ummie?" Nahla asked surprised about what her mother said. "Yes, let's be in this together. Besides, the vacation house is too far from here for you to visit and I know you want to help till the end of it" Farah smiled.
"Thank you so much Ummie, you're the best" Nahla appreciated. Really, she was already imagining the nightmare of going back and forth to that far distance so her mother did her a huge favour.
"Wait until your father hears that" Farah chuckled. "Abbina is also the best, you two are the best and I love you" Nahla chuckled too.
"I love you too dear, I do" Farah whispered and sighed at the end of the sentence. She loved seeing her little flower blossom and that happens only if she is happy, so the least she could do was help her get through everything. Besides, Nahla needed not only happiness but concentration too, her final examination was just few weeks ahead.
"You should go" Farah said again after a while of silence and Nahla nodded. "Bye Ummie" She voiced and waved before walking out of the room to the parking lot.
There, she found Aalim waiting for her in the car.
"Good morning" Nahla greeted. He had to turn and look at her in surprise because she hadn't talk to him since the day of the incident. She would always just sit in the car and stare at nothing, no words uttered.
"Good morning to you too" Aalim greeted back. "You'll have to wait at the hospital today cause we're coming right back home" Nahla smiled. "Sure!I see it's a good day today" Aalim commented.
"Yes! It is a very good day today"
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Nahla walked through the corridors of the hospital, for the first time ever coming in with a smile. She always didn't find pleasure in hospitals but for a reason that day, her pleasure was beyond imagining.
She walked into the room and scanned the environment but didn't spot Zaeem so she decided to knock on the bathroom door to check if he was there but he wasn't. She then decided to look outside for him.
Nahla walked around for a while before she spotted a figure she recognized on the balcony of the hospital floor. She moved closer and said her taslim after being sure he was the one.
Zaeem was standing with his crutches clutched in his hands, staring at the beautiful view from the balcony. The hospital did chose a very nice location because just the view itself made him calm. He remained quiet until he heard a voice say the taslim, a voice his whole figure recognized.
"The view is beautiful" Nahla sighed enjoying the same thing he did for a while. "It is and you certainly look happier today" Zaeem voiced with a tight lip smile making her to instantly turn to look at him.
"How could you tell?" Nahla asked. "How could I not tell?" Zaeem asked back. "Well considering the fact that my face is covered, I'm pretty sure you can't see my expressions" Nahla replied. "Hmm" Zaeem exclaimed before turning to look elsewhere.
"Now my question" Nahla said when she saw he had no intention to reply it. "There are certain gestures your eyes do to tell your expressions and today, your voice pretty much helped to know your mood. You sounded happy" Zaeem shrugged.
"We met like three days back" Nahla pointed out. "Yeah?" Zaeem asked. "This doesn't make any sense actually, you couldn't have known my eyes gestures in such a short time" Nahla replied. "You know what, just let it be. Tell me, how do you feel today?" Nahla added.
"Relieved" Zaeem replied. "Emotionally I agree, I mean physically. Do you feel pain anywhere?" Nahla asked rephrasing her question.
"Not anything I haven't felt before" Zaeem shrugged again. That made Nahla to turn to look at him. "What's with the look?" Zaeem asked. "I guess you have always been nonchalant about everything"
"Where will I be staying?" Zaeem decided to ask instead, he didn't want to remember not remembering anything about himself even though it was all he did. "My home" Nahla replied and smiled after reminiscing her conversation with her mother.
"And your family is okay with this?" Zaeem asked a bit shocked but very much surprised. "Surprisingly yes and by family you mean my mother right cause she's the only one at home right now. My father is off for the next three months working" Nahla replied and explained.
"You're an only child then?" Zaeem stated unsure if he was to ask her. "It's safe to say that, I do look like one don't I?" Nahla asked. "Not in a single detail about you"
That again.
Nahla could not miss how Zaeem kept replying to her questions indirectly, he always sounded like he was saying a poem or something.
"Lina and Bahir will come in a few, I'll get your discharge ready so we'll leave once they're here" Nahla informed. "Have heard of Lina before but who's Bahir?" Zaeem asked making Nahla to look at him in bewilderment.
"Uhmm... Lina's brother. He has been sleeping with you all the while now, haven't you ever met?" Nahla replied and asked too.
"Not that I can remember no!" Zaeem shrugged. "That's unexpected but you'll meet him today so..., I'll get going" Nahla said before walking away, leaving him alone again.
That time around instead of trying hard to remember things about him, he kept replaying their conversation in his head, with a smile. Many things about Nahla used to amuse him, or perhaps everything. He was curious all along about what more she could be and he wanted to know very badly.
Zaeem sighed then held onto his crutches firmer before struggling back to his room. He sat on the bed and kept his crutches aside, just on time the door opened revealing two people who walked in with a taslim and a smile.
Zaeem replied to their taslim smiling back.
"Hey I'm Lina and you must know me to be her best buddy. Nice meeting you" Lina introduced. "And me you! You must be Bahir" Zaeem said the former to Lina and the latter to Bahir who was standing right behind her.
"Indeed I am" Bahir said forwarding his hand for a handshake which Zaeem gladly took. "I want to thank you for your help" Zaeem said. "It's no biggie, feel free to ask anytime you are in need of help" Bahir smiled and Zaeem nodded appreciatively.
"You're here already" Nahla said walking back into the room. "Hey" Lina said rushing to hug Nahla. "Hey" Nahla said reciprocating the hug too.
"Good morning" Nahla greeted Bahir. "Morning N.... Shehnaaz" Bahir said almost blurting out her real name before he remembered the very clear request she had of them not to reveal her name.
"We should get going, Aalim is waiting" Nahla said picking up the bag of everything they brought to the hospital. "Let me help you with that" Bahir offered. "Okay" Nahla agreed, she didn't want to drag the conversation with him so she just gave it to him.
"Here, use this to the car instead" Nahla said bringing out a wheel chair from one of the drawers. "Thank you"
Zaeem crutched to the wheel chair and settled on it. Nahla held each end of the wheel chair and pushed it out of the room to the elevator while Lina brought the crutches along, they weren't going to take the wheel chair with them so Nahla dropped it back at the hospital reception after they reached the car.
Nahla and Zaeem drove with Aalim while Bahir drove both him and Lina to Nahla's home.
They conversed together as they walked into the house, but stopped talking immediately they saw Farah walk towards them with a smile.
"Ummie, I'm home" Nahla said loud enough for her mother to hear. Even though it was obvious she knew she was home, it was their love language to announce it each time. "Welcome, all of you" Farah said.
"Ummie!" Lina exclaimed excitedly while landing into Farah's embrace. "Hasn't she told you that I'm angry at you" Farah said with a smile. "I'm so sorry Ummie I should have visited earlier, don't be angry at your fave" Lina whined. "You're forgiven but get off me now, you're 22 for Allah's sake" Farah chuckled.
"Yes I am but I'll always run back into your arms" Lina smiled before retracting from the hug.
"This is Zaeem Ummie, and I am sure you remember Bahir" Nahla introduced. "Yes I do. Welcome to our humble abode Zaeem, please be comfortable"
"I'll be with you all in few minutes, come with me" Farah said before she dragged Nahla into the kitchen to get refreshments. They arranged drinks and snacks on two different trays before taking them out for everyone.
They chatted for what seemed like hours with Zaeem chirping in every while until Lina and Bahir left.
Zaeem felt happy, happy he was welcomed with opened arms into the family. He couldn't be more grateful to have others come around just to welcome him to a new life.
Maybe a new life is good, maybe a new life is worth living for and maybe a new life is all he actually wished for.
Maybe, just maybe....
Nahla walked out of the living room too to go and check Zaeem's room to see if it was okay. And when she did, she returned to the chattering duo and interrupted their conversation.
"Ummie, he should rest" Nahla voiced making the two to turn to look at her. "Yes he should. Feel at home Zaeem" Farah agreed with an amused smile before excusing herself back to her room.
"Come, I'll show you to your room" Nahla offered passing Zaeem's crutches to him. "Okay" Zaeem nodded before he stood up. And with the help of the crutches, he slowly followed her lead into one of the corridors of the house. They walked for a while before they stopped in front of a door.
Nahla went ahead and twisted the door knob to reveal the room coloured in soft shades of brown and white.
"This should be your room from now on. Do you like it?" Nahla asked. "I love it" Zaeem said with a tight lipped smile.
Even though his expression didn't reveal much, his tone did showed that he loved the sight of his new personal space.
"I wonder if your previous room was in this colour" Nahla reasoned. "Exactly my thought" Zaeem chuckled.
"Oh I should let you go through" Nahla said while moving to the side to let him pass and he did. Seeing the whole view of the room made him like it even more.
"My room is upstairs next to Ummie's, this button is for me anytime you need something. After you get a good bedtime rest, we would go shop for some stuffs you'll need, phone included" Nahla explained.
"You do so much for me" Zaeem said not pondering on what she explained to him.
"I wish to help you till the very end. Besides, I might be helping my mental health too, it's a win win! Go ahead and compliment me, I'm the best" Nahla shrugged and laughed. "No offence but you sounded like a..."
"A narcissist, I know and none taken" Nahla completed his sentence for him making him to also laugh.
"That is the bathroom" Nahla said pointing to a door inside the room. "Yeah I figured that much" Zaeem chuckled. He couldn't help but wonder if she thought he was reborn or something, even a 6 year old child could guess that it is a bathroom.
"Thank you" Zaeem appreciated. "Say it when you get your memories back okay?" Nahla said and Zaeem nodded, with a smile.
"Great! Rest well!" Nahla said before she walked out of the room to her room.
Even she was exhausted and so, she took a bath and laid on the bed making sure to sleep her exhaustion off.
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