Warning! This story contains depictions of domestic abuse, near noncon, censored cursing, accusations of cheating, and almost smut. I apologize if I missed anything.
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"Where the h*ll were you?" Billy questioned in a firm, frustrated tone. You were used to this. He'd yell, throw things, yell some more, then apologize and beg you not to leave him. He always promised he'd try to be better but seemed to not be trying very hard.
"Tiff got sick, I walked her out to her car and ended up driving her home." You said in a soft tone which usually helped him quiet himself. You didn't like when people yelled. It made you feel nervous, especially since Billy's raised voice was so harsh.
"And you didn't think to tell me? I don't know where those balls came from but you need to take it down a notch." He stepped closer your, putting his arm out to press his hand against the wall. He was blocking you from walking away. His parents weren't home for the weekend so it was just you, Billy, and Max. However, Max was at El's for the night. Which unfortunately left you and Billy to have the whole house to yell and scream all night.
You stopped walking, stared up at him, and tried not to look frustrated, even if you were fuming. Scared but fuming.
"I'm sorry. I should've told you but she was throwing up and it got all over me. I had to take one of her shirts before coming back here. Can I please walk by so I can shower?" You tried to step through, gently pushing his arm down. He only placed two fingers against your sternum, pushing you back slightly.
"Don't push me, little girl." His eyes darted between yours, that familiar look in his eyes. His dad had the same look before he'd lay his hands on Billy and it scared the day lights out of you. You swallowed hard, your hands starting to fidget by your sides.
"I'm sorry. May I please go?" Somehow your voice had become even softer. As if you were trying to calm down a feral kitten.
He didn't budge, only blinked at you as if you were an idiot.
"Was Tommy there? I know how he looks at you. Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I don't know you're going over there to f*ck him?" He stepped closer to you, making you take a step back. Your eyes were wide.
"What?" Your voice was high due to being in shock. Billy raised an eyebrow. "Why would I want Tommy? I'm with you and I make a point to not be alone with him. Ever. Not even if Tiffany's home and in another room. Maybe you are stupid for thinking I'd cheat on you." Your face went pale as soon as the words came out. You didn't mean to say it but you did. It came out like word vomit.
"That's not-" You quickly tried to reassure him that's not what you meant but he was already stepping closer. He had you backed up against the front door, staring at you, his chest heaving in anger. Without even attempting to calm himself, he raised his hand, the back of it landing against your cheek in a harsh smack.
"Watch your f*cking mouth. Get the f*ck out. Now." He grabbed you by your arm, pulling you away from the door so he could swing it open harshly. He didn't even let you walk out, he just pushed you so you'd be out of the front door and on the porch. The door slammed so hard that your hair flew up and into your face. Your sore, burning face. Of course he had been angry with you before but never enough to hit you. You wanted to scream at him, cry and apologize, maybe even call any guy bigger than him to take care of the problem. But you knew you couldn't.
"I.." you started to say something but felt that it was best if you didn't. So you went to your car and drove home, crying the whole time. Little did you know as soon as you were out of the door, panic and guilt settled in his stomach. He held his breath when he heard your voice and silently put his ear up to the door to try and hear you. He felt even worse when he heard you let out a quiet sob as you walked off to your car. He couldn't make up for it this time. No amount of hugs and kisses, flowers, car rides, or anything else could get you to forgive him this time. It was eating him from the inside out.
Throughout the night, Billy tossed and turned. He had never taken it that far before and he didn't know what to do. He didn't have anyone to go to for advice so he had to figure this out himself. Billy waited until school started again next week before he spoke to you. You hadn't called him, went to his house, or invited him over the entire weekend. He felt empty; off.
"Oh, shut up!" He heard your familiar laugh from across the parking lot.
You were walking alongside a friend, playfully hitting each other and giggling. He noticed a part under your eye was darker. He wondered if that was from his idiocy.
"Hey!" He yelled to you, his voice sounding meaner than he intended. The parking lot went quiet as they looked in Billy's direction.
"Keep walking." He threatened as he walked past a guy staring at him.
The guy did just that, quickly walking off with the rest of the high school. Your friend looked at you, making sure you were okay before hurrying off as well. Billy didn't know what to say. He just stood there, holding onto his backpack strap as he stared down at you. He had been practicing in his mirror all morning while he fixed his hair and now that he was in front of you, nothing was coming out.
Billy couldn't describe the feeling he was having, even if you held a gun to his head and tried to force it out of him. He felt so conflicted. Since his mother left when he was a child, he was left to fend for himself with an emotionally unavailable, unloving, and abusive father. Talking it out was never heard of in the Hargrove household. However, now he was dealing with an sensitive girl who grew up in a similar household. She didn't know how to express how she felt or what she wanted. It's a shock they worked out for the past year through the present.
"Let me walk you." He tried to speak softly. Billy didn't leave any room for you to protest as he began to walk with you towards the doors. By now you would've grabbed his hand, his arm, his belt loop, anything to keep him close to your side. Usually you'd stare up at him, smiling until he asked why and you'd explain you were admiring the view or saw a curl out of place that looked cute. He felt confused. You just stared ahead as you walked, your hands in your jacket pockets.
Wait.
Billy stopped walking and turned towards you, his eyebrows furrowed. You weren't wearing his jacket anymore. You refused to wear any other jacket than his since he had given it to you. You wouldn't even wear your favorite jean jacket. But today, you were wearing just that.
"Where's my jacket?" Billy looked you up at down slowly, eventually starting to walk you again. You simply shrugged.
"I didn't think you'd want me to wear it." You took a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh before he could talk again. "You don't have to walk me. I don't..you're fine. Go walk with Jason and them, it's okay." You shrugged once again, keeping your hands tight in your pocket.
To be honest, it made both you and Billy feel sick to your stomachs. Yours because you were so used to being touchy with him and him being on the receiving end. He always had an arm around your waist or a hand in your pocket. Any way to show off that you were his. If he did one thing, it was show you off like a trophy. Billy on the other hand felt sick because he wasn't seeing his girl claimed anymore. You looked like free game..and as much as he would hate to admit it, he missed feeling your small hand in his. The way you'd rub your thumb over the top of his hand to help calm his nerves as he walked through the busy hallways. How you'd kiss his cheek, smiling against it. He loved that.
Billy loved when he could feel you smile against his skin. Or even when you'd mess up his hair. He'd act like it bothered him but really, he loved when you touched his hair. It was something he took pride in and he wanted to look good for you. If you ever asked him if he was trying to dress up for you, he'd immediately deny it and kiss you to shut you up.
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"I don't even want to go out anymore." You said, forcing yourself not to smile as you sat down on his bed, pulling your legs up on it to sit criss crossed.
Billy was adding the finishing touches to his hair, a half smoked cigarette hanging from his mouth. His back was originally turned towards you, face buried deep into the mirror. You threatening to not go made him stand up straight and turn around to you, looking at you in shock. Tonight was date night. Date night was never cancelled. Not even for a quickie.
"What? Why?" He stepped closer to you, concern all over his beautiful face as he stared down at you. He was worried you were sick or worse; upset with him. That was until you smiled, grabbing onto the waistband of his pants to gently pull him closer to you.
"You look so beautiful. I'll be embarrassed walking next to you." He leaned down to kiss you, stopping right before your lips touched.
"You're f*cking crazy. I thought about locking you in here so I wouldn't have to deal with all eyes on you." His deep voice rumbled through your chest, finishing it off with a hard kiss.
You were the one to pull away so you could smile up at him, small hands rubbing along his hips in a loving manner.
"Did you get this dressed up for me?"
Billy rolled his eyes, still smiling as he pushed some of the hair out to your face.
"You did!! Aww, baby! That's so-mmph!" Billy shushed you with another hard kiss.
-
"Why wouldn't I walk you? Wear the jacket, you look strange without it." Billy grumbled as he put his arm around your waist. You stayed stiff, not reciprocating. No words were exchanged as he sat beside of you in home room. That was until he couldn't bear the silence anymore.
"Are you coming over today? Neil is working over time and Susan is seeing some girl friends. I can take Max to the arcade too, if you want." Underneath the desk you could feel Billy's hand rest on your bare knee. His thumb rubbed small, loving circles over the supple skin. While you usually excitedly agreed, which always made him smile, you merely nodded and leaned your jaw in your hand, your eyes wincing slightly when you felt pressure on your bruised cheek.
"Sure. Mom won't care. I'll follow you there."
"I'll drive you." Billy corrected, watching you closely. The only time he had ever seen you so dull was when you and your brother got in a big fight that led to him hitting you. Billy took care of that situation quickly. To this day you still didn't know Billy was the one who left him knocked out on the front porch.
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"No, baby, stop." You pleaded softly as his hands kneaded at your outer thighs, trying to kiss his way up to your panties. "Billy-" Unfortunately for you, today you had worn a skirt. That had made things much easier for him. He kept kissing closer and closer despite your protests.
"I said stop." You said a bit more firmly, putting your hand against his forehead and pushing him away. He carefully fell back onto his knees, his bottom resting on his feet as he looked up at you.
"Are you serious? Why?" He asked, not a bit of sweetness in his tone. He felt awful for that but he rarely ever sounded nice when he spoke. Except when he tried his hardest so you would feel comfortable. And when he fell asleep with you.
Your eyebrows were pulled together tight, your lower lip fighting a tremble.
"Why-" You gasped quietly, it shaking as you inhaled. "I don't understand why I'm the one getting yelled at." As you looked away from him and up at the ceiling, you were starting to hyperventilate, the tears that were welling up in your eyes were fighting to fall.
Billy simply stood up and groaned. He felt frustrated. You were about to cry and he didn't know what to do. Just watching you in this state made him have the sudden urge to throw up. He swallowed it down. He felt terrible because of it. The only time you should cry is from pleasure but he didn't have it in him to say something intimate; soft. He wanted so badly to apologize and hold you until you felt better but instead he went with,
"Nothing I do for you is ever enough." He mumbles, roughly sitting down on the bed next to you.
Since you were afraid of what could come out of your mouth, you stood up, a hand over your mouth as you fought back a sob. After a minute of your hands over your face, back turned to Billy, sobs slowly quieting down, you spoke.
"You yell at me for not wanting to have sex, and I don't understand why! You know, I'm-I'm still upset about the other night. You can't even apologize when we both know you were wrong for what you did. So what do you do?" You turn around, looking down at him with the saddest look he's ever seen in those beautiful eyes before.
Billy sat on the messy bed, hands in his lap as he looked up at you, eyes full of concern. His face swiftly hardened again as he tried his hardest not to show that you were getting to him. He couldn't let you see him being so vulnerable.
"You try to have sex and get upset when I don't want to be touched by someone who hit me. You-you make me cry and then scoff when I actually show you that I'm hurt. What do you want from me?!" Your voice was starting to get louder.
"I don't express how I feel and you don't like that. I express how I feel and you don't like that either. You-"
"Don't you dare-" Billy started. For once you were the one to interrupt.
"No! Don't you!" You emphasized the last word. His blue eyes went wide at your raised voice and authority. He had never seen this side of you before. "You're not a good boyfriend. Buying me flowers does not make me forgive you for breaking down my door when you're drunk, for-for hiding my car keys so I can't leave, and sure as h*ll not for hitting me. Don't you ever-f*ck!" You turned away again, this time walking out of his bedroom as the tears started rolling.
His panic settled again.
It's now or never.
Billy thought to himself, his stomach twisting and turning as he stood up. He took a few large but quick steps, coming up behind you. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his face burying into the back of your head.
"Please don't leave me. Please baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for trying to force you into something you didn't want to do, I'm sorry for trying to buy your love. I'll do better. I'll force myself to be better for you. Just please," Billy pleaded so quickly that the words were running together. He was so scared of losing the one person that truly loved him that he was beginning to cry and you could hear it as he spoke. "Don't leave me. I love you."
The two of you stood there crying, him holding on like you would slip away if he didn't while you stood there stiffly. You weren't sure of what to do. You had never seen Billy cry before and now he was crying for you.
"Let's sit down." You breathed out, turning around in his arms to hold onto his shoulders as you gently guided him to the hallway carpet.
Billy sat, legs sprawled out in front of him, his poor face stuffed into your neck. He couldn't stop crying. He was trying but it just made him let out loud sobs. It sounded horrible. Not because it annoyed you, but because it was so painful sounding. You knew he couldn't be faking this. He wasn't a boy-who-cried-wolf type of man.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-" He whispered, arms trembling as they tried to pull you into his lap. You moved willingly to make it easier for him.
"Shh, Shh, Billy. Try and breathe, you'll pass out if you don't." Your honeyed voice whispered to him as your ran your hand through his curls, kissing the top of his head.
He shook in your arms, hyperventilating for a little longer until he finally listened to you and took shaky but deep breaths.
"I'll do anything. Just don't..don't leave me. You're all I want. You're all I have." His broken voice whispered, dull fingers mindlessly scratching the side of your jeans. The repetitive motion helped him calm down.
While you couldn't promise him that you'd stay with him, you couldn't have him having another break down. So, to save his big heart, you settled with standing up and pulling him with you. Without a word being spoken, your hand grabbed his and lead him into the bedroom. He looked confused as you pulled his shirt off over his head, sitting down on the edge of the bed as you tossed it to the side. He swallowed, left hand coming up to the side of your head to lovingly pet it.
Billy looked beautiful from this angle. You thought that since the first time he has coaxed you into doing an oral favor for him.
-
"I'll guide you through it. Come on, baby. Have I ever had you do something you didn't like?" His soft voice was lulling you into a trance as his thumb brushed over your bottom lip. You shook your head.
Billy's hard cock was hidden behind his half zipped jeans, straining to be anywhere near the beautiful woman in front of him. He had been daydreaming about this since the first day he saw you.
"Good girl..open up." He was so good at this. Too good. Your mouth opened for him, jaw slack as he pushed his thumb in. He pressed it against your tongue, smiling as you whimpered. "Good f*cking girl. Wider." His thumb pushed back farther, his lips parting as well when you didn't even gag.
"F*ck." Billy whispered to himself. He knew he wasn't going anywhere now.
-
"Come on." You spoke softly, pulling your shirt off as well. He knew what you wanted.
Billy kicked off his boots and crawled into bed behind you, being able to face the door. He needed to watch for his girl's safety. You two fit together like a puzzle piece as his toned arm wrapped around your waist, face snuggling into your neck.
"I love you." Billy said in a hushed tone.
"I know."