There's a glow. Alongside that, there's humming. It's very soft though, one would need to be completely silent to hear it. I guess, in this case, I am silent, and I'm taking my time to wake up. To feel my toes wiggle in my shoes, or my hands stiffly stretch and clench. Through my nose, I take my first inhale and release it, before I take another through my mouth.
I don't need to have my eyes opened to see the glow, because even with them shut, I can very much see the glow. Still, I bat my eyes open a few times, groaning a bit as my eyes clear out.
The glow, I realise, is coming from a source. A huge source. The moon. Bigger than I've ever seen — it wasn't even this big when I went with Micah's pack for their howling and such.
Micah...
My eyes look around. I'm in a forest, it seems, and it's night time. The moon is right there, almost like I could quite literally go and touch it. It's a sphere, with grey, I guess, imperfections, like the moon would have. It's beyond bright, I'm surprised I can quite literally see it. I realise that I'm on grass. It's thick, soft, and a deep green shade.
Once I get up to my feet, I dust myself off, noticing I'm still in the same dress I had on back at the ceremony. I can feel my hair still in the bun, though a few strands have now slipped out.
The moment my eyes land back on this sphere-moon looking thing, I see it unravel. I see paws, hinds. A tail. I see the thick fur stretch out and then, I see ears peek up. It catches me all by surprise, but I can't even take my eyes off of the sight before me. The... Snow White wolf sets its four legs onto the ground, stepping with so much elegance and authority. I see how its head lifts up directly towards me. The black midnight eyes watch me as I watch it.
I can't say if it's about to pound at me or if it's just observing me like I am, it.
So, no longer is it a moon, but a wolf. I try to recall what Micah said, now that I realise that perhaps this is Moon Goddess Luna. Micah said something about it being woman. Maybe the woman turned into a wolf? Maybe there was no woman, and it's actually just a wolf that can make itself look like a moon — considering, it's still glowing immensely.
There's a whisper of my name. It comes from all directions, but I fear turning around just incase this wolf jump scares me by appearing before me, up close and personal. My name is carried within the light breeze of the wind surrounding this large wolf and I.
Before I can even digest it, a figure emerges from behind the wolf. It's a woman, I can see, and she also has such a white glow about her, though her skin is brown. Honey brown, contrasting the midnight sky and the bright moon-wolf besides her. I realise that the humming was coming from her, since she begins to hum. Her hand lightly grazes against the fur of the wolf as she walks towards its front.
Then, she takes hold of its entire head and embraces it. She places a kiss on its side, then rubs the top of its head, letting out a gentle laugh as the wolf huffs in delight.
Then, she turns to me. Her hair is in thick curls that don't even pass her ears — an Afro, an elegant Afro. Her big brown eyes look at me, and her lips hold a small, inviting smile. Her hands clutch onto the white dress she has on (I know Micah mentioned this, it feels familiar). Her bare feet step towards me, just twice, before she stops.
Nothing about her surprises me either than the fact that she looks like me. She looks exactly like me.
Her hand lifts up; two fingers motion a come here. "Come forward." She smiles brighter. "I don't bite."
The distance between us is great, yet I can very much see her as clear as day, along side hearing her.
"I'm... I think I'm good here. Thanks." I mutter.
The girl, the lookalike, giggles. "Stubborn. It has such a strong hold on him."
The crazy part, is that it all seems like a dream. Her voice sounds far but near at the same time. Soft, but strong. It feels like a dream, hazy almost. I don't feel any fear towards her, but there's such curiosity building within me.
"Where am I?"
"In the realm of the resting." She goes back to rubbing the wolf besides her, of which is now resting on all four, head resting on its palms. "On the other side, just down the valley—" she points behind her, "is where my creations rest in the after-life."
I can't see that far, but just where they stand, I can see there's an ending point before, perhaps, it dips. I'm not tempted to go check it out, I'm great where I'm standing.
"I'm not part of your creation, though. So I guess I shouldn't really be here, talking to you."
The girl looks at me over her shoulder since her entire body is facing the wolf, smiling an awful amount. "Yet you've mingled with my creation for an amount of time."
"Look, Micah—"
"Not with Micah first." She shakes her head. "Not even with Andrea... my lovely Andrea. No. Banele."
My head immediately tilts, eyes widening and eyebrows reaching for my hairline. "Banele?"
"Silly, silly boy, he is. Loves the taste of being intoxicated. Loves the idea of being praised. Can't seem to ever be satisfied. He walks down a path of destruction, and he knows it. Yet, he's such a midnight beauty. Moves so elegantly in his form. A big heart, with nothing but emptiness and loneliness." Again, she glanced at me. "I told him to apologise."
I'm still trying to put two and two. I'm still trying to comprehend the fact that Banele was... is a wolf. My hands rub my cheeks and I exhale loudly.
"Fear not, Imani. I only wish to communicate with you, not distress you."
Now, I look at her with squinted eyes. "How do you know that name? Let me guess, Micah told you."
"Micah? Oh, no, no." She laughs softly. I could almost swear she sounds so distant. Her voice mingles with the wind, so it carries it towards me so effortlessly, but so softly. "My Micah has many secrets. Ones that I've expressed would destroy him, yet he is very stubborn. Even still, he's not told me your name. You did."
Sorry? "Me?" Only my mother and sister, of whom are dead, call me that. No one alive has called me that, and I'm yet to hear it from my father.
The girl now stands up, walking closer towards me. Her strides are enough to make the distance dramatically decrease.
"Imani. You did." She waves her hand in the wind. "I'm surprised you don't recognise me."
"I mean," I scoff. "It doesn't take a genius to realise that you're Moon Goddess. I kind of realised it when I realised you look like me, and Micah said something about you appearing like the people before you. It makes sense."
"That's not what I speak of." She's so much closer now. "This is not our first encounter."
"Excuse me?"
"You've been here before." She confirms.
"That's impossible."
"What is?"
"Me. You. The fact that we spoke before? No. This is my first time seeing you. I only learnt about you when he told me about his history. I've never seen you before."
She laughs elegantly. It's such music to my ears. Despite her being only a few steps from me, the energy from her is quite strong, powerful. There's an authority that radiates off of her, but somehow it calms me than fears me.
"Do you want to hear a story?"
I mean, considering it's bed time and I'm no where near a bed, I only nod. She motions for me to sit down, doing the same for me to follow in example. Her arms cradle her knees as she rests her chin on them. Her bright brown eyes blink at me. I mean, she shamelessly looks at me from head to toe, I have to pull the straps of my dress to reduce the cleavage she's obviously analysing.
"I'll tell you a simple story. You'd substitute characters where needed, okay?"
The both of us hear the wolf in the distance, huffing a bit.
"I created wolves in the image of their parents, who are in the image of the moon. One was like day, the other was like night. The one first born was bright, bubbly. Loved life, loved his natural form and loved people. He was promised to be an Alpha, taking over the pack of his father. The second born was cold. Loved being distant, didn't really care about responsibilities. Cared little about packs, histories. Just wanted to live life, carefree. Do you follow?"
I nod. It's white clear that she speaks of Malacai and Micah. This much, I can comprehend.
"Even with all promised, the first born felt insecure because of the second. He felt like the second had more power and authority. More of the wolves within the pack respected him, looked up to him, wanted to be carefree and live life like him. The first born didn't like that. So, pride and jealousy takes over him, as it would, and he goes seeking for help. Help from a witch."
"You guys have witches too?" I frown.
"Follow. The first born tells the witch of his dilemma, and says that he wants his own brother to be mate-less. That way, no matter what, the second born would not be able to be Alpha. The witch, in exchange, wants the first born's powers of being Alpha, one I gift only those in the bloodlines of alphas. The first born thinks nothing of this, as he feels because he'll still have a mate, he'll always still be Alpha. The witch gives him what he wants, but with evil running within the witch, he gives the first born a disease. One so powerful, nothing but death can combat it."
This part makes sense. I know that Malacai had some disease Micah mentioned. My heart though, clenches at the fact that Malacai went all out to stop Micah from finding a mate.
"The second born has no mate. The bond of finding a mate is broken, irreversible unless I, their maker, step in. I choose not to, as I am aware of my creation. Each and every individual. The second born feels it. He knows he has no mate. This is what I've told him. I told him that he wasn't destined for a mate for reasons that did not involve me. He was broken, as I'm sure any wolf would be. Then, he tells me he would be on a quest to find his own mate. And he does."
The both of us are staring at each other. She then smiles, rubbing her hand against the grass.
"Do you follow?"
I slowly nod. I mean it's making sense, kind of. Micah's bond was broken, which means he wouldn't have been able to find his original mate. That's where I get involved, I guess.
"He first saw her one night. She was with a boy, one of my own creation. Kissing." Goddess Luna giggles. "The second born disliked that. He found a mate in her. He loved her, then and there. How she looked, the way she talked. The scent that came off of her. It was like they were destined, except she was human. I warned him that finding a mate in a human is very close to being forbidden, as it creates an imbalance, but he resisted the warning before destruction. He perused her."
Well, I have a different version of when I saw Micah first. It makes me wonder if we're talking about the same people, or maybe a different version that ties together at the end.
"Finally, their paths crossed. They got to know each other. To like each other. He chose not to imprint on her as yet, fearful because of the warning I had given him. But quickly, their happy days were stained. There's a ceremony every year that takes place amongst my creation. Here, the crowning of the oldest son and his mate was to take place, but the eldest throws a tantrum when his father tells him that he will no longer be the future Alpha, that his youngest brother would. His mate, filled with jealousy and rage, poisons the human girl, angry that she would take her place. It's around the time that the human girl's mother comes, along with the sister, to fetch her. They drive off."
This isn't making sense. I don't have the heart to chirp on, so I keep listening.
"The oldest runs off. Of course, he is shattered and broken. The youngest, clueless that his older brother ruined his destiny, runs after him to try comfort him. But—"
"The car crash." I mutter, trying to piece it together. "Malacai hit my mother's car, and the three of us got in an accident."
"They all die."
"Not all of them." I correct her. "I'm still here. That isn't how it happened, because it was the day of my mother's birthday that she passed away, along with my sister. I wasn't at some ball, some event."
She blinks at me. "They all die. The oldest wolf, the three women in the car. They all die. The youngest sees this and his world shatters. So, the youngest begs to meet with me. His world is shattered, the two that he cares about are dead. The mate of his older brother tells him that she is his new mate, as tradition has it, but he refuses it. I meet with him that night, in the woods. Of course, it's a full moon, I'm closest to my creation at that point. This is where he begs me, pleads with me to bring his mate back. I reason with him, telling him that she is dead. Bringing her back would mean dealing with creation not of my own. He doesn't want to listen. He's blinded by pain, the pain of losing a mate. He pleads that he would do anything if I bring her back."
So, here I am listening with my heart pounding. She doesn't need to say it all for me to have a feeling to where this is going. I gulp, lowering my gaze.
"I give him a condition. I bring her back, but I cannot promise she will remember anything. Many things will be altered with. She comes back, but her mother and sister would still be dead. His brother would still be dead, why not bring him back? The lose of his mate is what he is feeling. So, I don't have the heart to tell my beloved that his brother was at fault for everything, that if it wasn't for his exchange with the witch, he wouldn't even have met this human he deemed is his mate."
"Did you bring her back?" I whisper.
"I did, after speaking to her. I went far and wide to find her. She told me her name." The goddess grins. "Imani. A lovely name. Tells me about her love for the wolf, my creation. I share with her his wishes, but tell her that they would not be as they were before. She hesitates for a bit, then agreed to go back to the living—"
"Micah said wolves don't resurrect."
"But you're not a wolf." She smiles. "You were never a wolf. Sending you back was easy. I reversed the clock. I changed the memory of those who have known you, those who have blinked in your direction. The only person who carried the burden, was my beloved. Micah. But, he agreed, for as long as you were still alive."
I groan, eyes stinging as I pinch the bridge of my nose to make sense of everything. "Are you saying that I died? I was dead? You brought me back? Then it doesn't make sense. Both my father and I know that I was the only one who survived. Malacai hit the car, fine. But I only ever first met Micah during New Year's. I don't remember anything else outside of that. The events of what you're talking about are different to how I remember it."
"I'll repeat. The only person who carried the burden of what really happened was Micah. I changed all the memories of those who knew you, this included your father, Andrea. Banele. You. Everyone. I made it so, you survived that crash. All the memories of Micah prior to that were erased, so of course, you have no recollection of him. Everything before the crash was erased for you, for everyone who knew of you, but him. He knows when you first met, when you first kissed." Goddess Luna giggles as she covers her mouth. "When you first admitted to loving each other. He knew a lot about you before he met you, again, for the first time. His way of approaching you was weird, I'll admit. I think he thought I was joking when I said you wouldn't remember him. But, I gave him a rule."
I wipe my cheeks, realising that I'm actually crying. It sounds overly surreal. It feels unfair, too. I was robbed of my memories because... my old self agreed to it. I agreed to come back to a world where my mother and sister would not be in. I agreed to come back to Banele.
"I told him not to choose you as his mate. Humans and wolves cannot be mates, as it creates an imbalance and somebody has to pay the price for that. Yet, when he went back to you, he did exactly what he knew he shouldn't. Calling you his mate, kissing you that night, splitting you from Banele and beating him up out of jealousy. Imprinting on you without your permission, even when he knew he was sealing a path of destructions towards you. I guess love makes you do unspeakable things, even if it hurts."
The white wolf in the distance huffs again. The girl before me only turns around for a moment to look at her wolf, then looks back at me, nonchalant at the tears slipping down my cheeks.
I guess I'm also crying of sadness. All this time, Micah dealt with me, his once-upon-a-time mate who failed to recognise him. He built up that relationship from scratch, just for us to be back to square one.
I was his first mate. I died. I came back and everything happened again. It makes so much sense; he'd make these comments about losing me again, doing things again, history repeating itself. It's because he lived with it everyday, knowing every single thing, and he kept it to himself.
I stupidly drink a poisoned drink, he drinks the same drink. He forbade Natasha from being at the ceremony because he knew she was the cause, yet she came back and did the same thing she did before. And now here I am. Dead, again.
Makes sense why this Goddess called me Imani. I was dead. Makes sense why Micah, also, has called me Imani. I've most likely told him the name before, and he heard it from my father, apparently.
Maybe he meant he heard it from my father, way before I died the first time.
"S-so, I'm dead." I sniff. "Is he?"
"No. Poison would kill a human of course. Poison is not strong enough to end my creation, though the poison inside of him is strong. He's on the brim of life and death. He is in a coma."
"Will he make it?"
Goddess Luna sighs softly, fingers caressing the grass. "I'm afraid... not."
"But... you said it's not strong enough to kill him."
"He's had an awful amount. By the time they figure it out, it would be too late. He's destined to rest alongside his brother."
Abraham was right. He really was. Humans cannot be mates with wolves, and Goddess Luna didn't destine us to be together. But Micah insisted. And now he's... basically on the path of death.
"He loves you." Goddess Luna fills the space with her voice, alongside my sniffing. "He's loved you for a very long time. I know my beloved would do it all again, just to spend limited time with you. That's true love, love of a mate. But, you're not his destined. Natasha is, only because Malacai is in the realm of the resting. But Micah refuses to be her mate. His heart is for you. Understand, Imani, Micah cannot be blamed for what he does not know. He doesn't know that this is all because of his brother, and Natasha. He knows that his brother is the cause of the death of your family, but he is not at fault."
So, there I am sobbing at this point, wiping my face in the process. My heart feels shattered. My body shakes in light waves of disbelief and heartbreak. The more I wipe away strips of tears, the more they continue slipping from my eyes.
"I am willing to send you back, to see him before he departs."
"But what about Natasha? This is her fault. She is the one who poisoned me and him. Surely you should be punishing her somehow."
"Natasha is a mate dealing with the heartbreak of her dead mate. She's also dealing with rejection. She'll act irrationally. By the time you go back, if you decide to, you'd have found that she's dead."
I lift my eyes to her. "Dead?"
"She's to take her own life. She killed her second mate, she can't live with that."
I nod, wiping my cheeks. "S-so... you can send me back?"
"To say your farewell."
"I know you said you don't resurrect wolves. It doesn't happened. I'm not asking you to do that. I'm asking you to heal him. Help him heal so he doesn't die."
"He's destined to rest with his brother—"
"You can change that. You're his goddess. Look! I'm right here before you, speaking to you again. This time, it's me asking you to save him. I don't mind dying, but he can't die. The pack needs him, they need a new Alpha. His mother... his father. It would be too much losing both sons. So heal him instead, and in exchange I'll accept death."
"What love does. I made my creation out of love, did you know? We drive off of love, I'm sure Micah has said so." She laughs lightly. She then leans towards me, her cold hands, incredibly cold, swipes away a tear. "You love him, yet you have not told him this time."
"I didn't know I had a time limit either."
The girl gets to her feet and graciously helps me to mine. She then rubs my arms lightly — I mean, it's a nice gesture but her hands are overly cold, I'm actually shivering.
"I'll heal him. The pack needs an Alpha, soon, and he is to fulfill that role." She smiles. "I'll also send you back."
My eyes widen in surprise. "Really?"
"But, things won't be the same." She warns.
I can do with that. I mean, if it's all a reset button, I am certain Micah would come back. Third time is a charm, so he'll be able to find me once again. Maybe this time he'll think better of how to go about it. Maybe he'll discuss with his Goddess on how to go about this, in a way that works well for the best of both worlds. It can work out, it can happen. I trust him. He'll figure it out.
He did before, against all odds, so he can do it again. Third time is a charm.
"T-that's fine. I'm okay with that. As long as we get to see each other, and as long as he is alive. That's fine, I don't care how it happens."
The Goddess giggles. "Will you tell him that you love him?"
"I will."
"Fine. Then, I'll send you back. But, none of my creation have seen me. Only those who rest in the realm have seen me. You're forbidden to tell them of how I look."
I chuckle, wiping my cheeks yet again. "I mean, I doubt they'll believe that you and I look alike."
"We look nothing alike. I present myself as the person before me, for the sake of their comfort. My true form would only scare them."
"Okay, I guess. I won't say anything to anyone."
Goddess smiles at me then raises both hands before placing them on my cheeks. "I'll send you back, now. You might be startled upon your awakening, but fear not. You'll recognise what you already know. The memory of those involved will be changed. This, you agree to."
"Yes."
"Then," her brown eyes glow into a white blinding light, that I'm forced to close my own eyes to shield my vision from burning out. "I send you off."
A feeling of peace washes over me, incredibly so that I feel my entire being numb. The wind picks up, the white glow surrounds me completely and there's only two last things I hear; the first is the sound of the wolf howling.
The second; "It was lovely seeing you again, Imani."