The next morning Arnav woke up from his sleep to find Khushi snuggled in his arms in that weird taekwondo pose and he chuckled. She is such a cutie. Her fingers clutched his tee in a tight grip as if he is going to run away somewhere. And with that his thoughts went back to last night. Something was definitely bothering her, but he decided to give her some time and space to open up about what it is.
He had so many things lined up for today, first things first, he should call Aman and ask him to hand over the files related to Shyam to Mamaji. Nani and Mamaji had really taken the situation into hands and handled the issue so well yesterday. Even Mamiji who he thought would make a huge fuss of the situation surprised him. His family once again stood by his side, he felt eternally grateful for them. Akash- Payal, NK, everyone showed so much strength and grace and were extremely resourceful yesterday. And most importantly, his Di, she finally saw the true colors of that bastard and decided to let go of that monster.
He knew she must be hurting like hell from within. He now understood heartbreak is heartbreak nevertheless, it doesn't matter if that other person is an asshole or a hardcore criminal. And more importantly, now not just her love was not reciprocated, but also her trust was broken and she was made a fool out of. She took the right decision for herself, she stood up for what is good for her. He decided he will be there for her, help her, and support her in any way possible, in rebuilding herself.
Khushi slowly opened her eyes and yawned making Arnav look at her with a small grin playing on his lips. She looked at him first thing and licked her lips making him want to kiss her senseless. Slowly getting up, she started tying her hair when he stopped her and pulled her back on the bed and propelled herself on top of her and gazed at her intensely.
"What-what is the time?", she asked trying to look out of the French doors.
She should really put a wall clock in front of their bed, she thought.
"What are you thinking?", he asked seeing her thinking of something else, what the.
"Hmm?", Khushi looked back him, all the thoughts lost on her, his single-day stubble was making him look really handsome. What if he grew a mustache?
*Why does he look at her like that? Oh, his wound seems better now, should she tell him now that she doesn't want to marry him? What? Is that what she wants? No? No. Yes. What? But...yes, she ..oh, she wants him. Not the wedding though. How to tell this? What would people say? No, people ..people...screw people.*
"Khushi...", Arnav shook her to pull her out of her thoughts.
"Haan...why are you shaking her subah subah...I am awake only.", she yelled at him irritated for disturbing her thoughts, while Arnav looked at her befuddled.
What did he do now? She was the one lost in thoughts. Anyway, he thought and lay back in the bed and watched as she went around the room, pulled the curtains away completely letting all the sunlight in, put their used towels and laundry bag outside of their room, next slowly started folding their wedding couture and thinking of ways to fit them in their closet and then took out a small duffle bag from the bottom-most rack.
Alarm bells rang with in his head seeing that bag, that was the same bag she uses when she goes to Laxmi Nagar.
He waited patiently to see if will be proven wrong, but no, she slowly started taking her clothes and started packing them.
He immediately launched from the bed and held her hands stopping from packing further.
"No. Don't.", he said in a low hiss making her glare at him.
"What?", she asked wriggling her hand out of his grip and ofcourse, it didn't bruise but there was a pale mark as expected.
"Don't.", he said and then took a deep breath and spoke calmly.
"Don't go. Let's get married today. I will make all the arrangements needed by the evening. We can do the phere. Don't go.", he implored.
Khushi looked at the painful pleading look on his face and sighed.
Then leading him to the bed, she made him sit and sat down beside him and took her hands in his. Arnav's heart thudded in anticipation fear of what she will say now.
No, he can't leg go for her. He wanted her in his life. What happened yesterday was not his fault?, his mind started racing in preparation for an argument. He will make all the arrangements. This time he will hire the best wedding planner in all of India. He will give her the wedding of the century.
"I don't want to marry.", Khushi said dropping the bomb on his head.
"What?", he asked sure he heard her wrong.
"I said, I don't want to marry.", Khushi repeated herself patiently.
"Wait, what do you mean you don't want to marry? Khushi, you can't be serious. I mean, I really was coming, it's not like I deliberately met with an accident.", he asked getting up and pacing infront of her.
"Arnavji..listen..", she started telling him when he didn't let her.
"See, I ..I...I am really sorry for all the hurt Dadi caused. I apologize on her behalf.", he said turning to her sincerely apologetic and her heart broke looking at him like that. He looked really vulnerable.
"It's not like that..", she said walking to him and holding his arms stopping him from pacing.
"Will you listen to me?", she asked patiently and he looked at her and sighed. She didn't look angry.
"I said I don't want to marry now. We will get married, sometime later maybe. I ...I have some things I have to sort out first.", she said turning around.
"What things?", he asked, now really curious.
"Well...I need more time. I don't want us to rush into things."
"What do you mean rush into things? We were supposed to be married yesterday. We would have been married by now if not for Dadi's drama.", Arnav countered.
"I know ...but yesterday.. so much happened yesterday and that made me change my mind.", she said thinking of a way to make her point.
"What do you mean change your mind?", he asked, his voice a mere whisper, his heart skipping a beat.
"You want to break up with me?", he asked next before Khushi could respond.
Khushi immediately closed her eyes, guessing how he must have interpreted her words,
"I never said that.", she said turning to him to find a thin layer of tears in his eyes.
Why does he have to look so sad and broken? She has to be careful with her words and she needed to make him understand properly, lest he once again jumps to the worst possible conclusions.
"Khushi...you promised you will never leave me.", he said sitting back on the bed in defeat.
What surprised her the most though is, he didn't try to coerce her to make her stay with him like he did last time. He indeed is changing, indeed. Her heart really melted.
But that's not enough, not just him, she has to change too, they have to change, together.
"And I am not leaving.", she said crouching infront of him, making him look at her.
"Arnavji...you have to understand me. I know, I am the one who wanted a wedding, I am the one who wants to do phere and I still do but not right now, I want some time. As you keep saying, we are legally married. We are already one in all the senses that matter to you, then what difference does it make?", she asked.
"That's what Khushi. In all the senses that matter to me, but for you it is phere that matters. Then why do you not want to do it? What changed from yesterday to today if you are not really punishing me or pushing me away for what Dadi did?", he asked.
"Many things changed. Many things changed. You know when I sat at that altar yesterday, I felt like I was waiting for you with hopeless hope. You didn't come Arnavji, I am not saying its your fault, you met with an accident and Devima knows how grateful I am that you are okay, but I felt so alone at the moment, it made me understand how powerless I am in my own life. That moment I felt like I would be nothing without you. And –",
"And I am nothing without you too Khushi..", Arnav said and Khushi gave a small sardonic smile.
"Though I know that's how it is and I know what you mean, I don't want that Arnavji. I want us to get married, but not like this, I want us to get married for all the right reasons.", she said with a saccharine smile.
" I want to marry you. I promise and I don't want to be with anyone else but you, but not like this.", Khushi said with a pleading smile as if asking him to trust her and that hurt something inside Arnav, he understood what she meant on some level, for he felt like that too.
"I want to marry you, not because Dadi, or people in the society wouldn't approve of our relation as it is. I want to marry you when I am ready and right now I am not. ", Khushi said with a small smile and Arnav nodded.
"and when will you be ready?", Arnav asked.
"I ...I don't know Arnavji. I ..I just really need some time. I don't know when I will be ready, but I realised I have many thing to do before I feel ready in the right sense.", Khushi said holding his hand.
"Why does it feel like you are leaving me? Like you are breaking up with me?", Arnav asked looking at her with sad eyes.
"I promise you I am not. I am going to come to you. We are together. I don't believe I can ever be happy without you.", Khushi replied tears blurring her eyes. She wants him so bad, but not like this, she has to do this, for her, her him, for them. But even she felt like they were parting nevertheless, so hugging him, she took his face in her hands and kissed his eyes one after the another.
Nudging him on to the bed, she came on top of him and kissed him with all the passion, minutes slipped away like seconds as they came out breathless and started kissing again, Khushi slowly started pulling his trousers when Arnav stopped her and looked at her with questioning eyes,
"We are ...we are...", she started but couldn't form any words as Arnav ran his hands on her back pushing her to the edge.
"Together dammit. Now..please..", she said as she started undressing herself, when Arnav laughed whole heartedly and took out a condom from the bedside drawer.
"Your wish is my command my not-yet-wife.", Arnav said before getting into action, kissing her senseless, taking his own sweet time making love to her.
.~*~.