With a shuddering breath both Mikoto and Fugaku glanced at the baby that was cradled into her mothers arms. The girl looked like her mother through and through.
"Ha!" The Uchiha matriarch laughed in delight as her husband despaired. "I hate to say it but--"
"No you wouldn't." Fugaku groaned. "You would delight in saying it."
"--I told you so." She finished despite the interruption, looking pleased with herself. "A mother knows who her baby will take after."
He glared at her. "Don't talk to me."
"Tisk tisk, don't be such a sore loser in front of your daughter." Mikoto scolds her husband as the baby began to fuss. "You're setting a bad example."
"Of course my dear, I apologise." Fugaku rectifies as the baby began to wail inconsolably.
Mikoto winced slightly at the noise. "Is a baby meant to cry that loud?" She whispered to her husband who shrugged his shoulders.
"Lady Shirin is fine." A nurse comforts the two.
The baby somehow cried louder.
...
"There's a war, Lady Shirin." Her nanny, Madame Eizan, informs her as they walk through the deserted compound. "People are preparing."
All because Hatake wouldn't leave his friends behind. Not that she blames him.
"And why tell me this?" She asks while rolling her eyes. "I'm not going to fight."
The older woman sighs. "Not yet My Lady but wars aren't quick, you may still have to fight."
"Well I'm not, this clan isn't worth killing for." Shirin murmurs.
The village wasn't worth it either for that matter.
"You don't mean that Lady Shirin." She insists while pulling her along the road.
"Yes." Shirin bites back. "I do."
...
As the Uchiha heiress she was meant to start the academy today. Naturally, this meant she was hiding in a bush so that she didn't have to go. But good things in her life don't stay and while she may have evaded her caretakers there are others that just have to ruin things for her.
"What ya doing?" A boy in green spandex whispered.
Clutching her heart Shirin felt as though she lost five years of her life due to shock.
"What the ever living hell." She muttered lowly. "Who even are you brat?"
The boy smiled widely. "I'm Maito Gai! It's a pleasure to meat you Miss..."
Uchiha. It was imbedded on her clothes after all.
"None of your business. Get out of my bush before I get caught--"
"Get caught by who Lady Shirin?" Her nanny asked, her right eye twitching violently with a sweet smile plastered itself across her face.
"You damn witch." Shirin gives her the most vicious glare she can muster without a sharingan. "Leave me here, I'm not going to the academy."
Without warning she was picked up from the ground. "Yes." She hisses. "You are My Lady."
...
"Hatake graduated two years ago, a shame really, you both would've made great friends." Their teacher states while eyeing her. "Or maybe you would've killed each other, it's hard to tell."
If one more person compares her and Hatake she'll cut their tongue out.
Shirin rolled her eyes. "Definitely the latter, I don't make friends with snot nosed brats."
"You do realise you're also a snot nosed brat." The older man points out.
Not really, but he doesn't know that.
With a huff she kicked her feet onto the table. "Well, takes one to hate one as the saying goes."
"That's absolutely not how the saying goes." He deadpans. "Maybe we should start on language first."
"As if you're being paid for anything not related to murder." She snarks.
"I'm not but for you Lady Shirin I'll make an exception."
"..."
"..."
"Never say something like that again."
"Wasn't planning to."
...
"And then the princess' head was splattered against the ground. The Shinobi despaired at a failed mission and they all lived unhappily ever after." She finishes off while staring down to the child in the bassinet.
"Lady Shirin..." Madame Eizan starts.
"Yeah yeah, these stories aren't 'appropriate' for children. I know." Shirin grimaces at the older woman.
Which to be fair at least there's a line on what's appropriate for children to hear. Even if it's blurred beyond belief.
"Then why," she stresses the 'why', "are you still doing it?"
With a shrug Shirin watches as the baby babbles random things without a care in the world. "Just felt like doing something that'd annoy you."
And she was bored. Oh so bored.
"Well you certainly succeeded in your task." The nanny drawls. "No mochi ice-cream for a week."
That witch.
An angry glower flushes her face at that. "He can't even understand me yet." She reasons while gesturing to the baby.
"Lord Itachi may not be able to but I certainly can." Eizan smirks in triumph before her face abruptly falls upon realising she was fighting with a child.
"You're a mean old bat nanny." Shirin states as Itachi grabs her finger.
"A mean old bat I may be but you're still not getting any ice-cream."
Shirin was livid at the maltreatment.
A great sigh leaves her lips. "Then what's even the point to life if I can't have what I want?"
Eizan snorts. "Now that's a question I'm not paid enough to answer."
...
"Hey kid." Her sensei greets her with a box of bento. "You eating alright?"
Does a box of ice-cream mochi that she stole count?
"Yes, why do you ask?"
"You're getting a little thin, thought you could use some food."
Shirin was in disbelief. "You think the Uchiha heiress isn't being fed well?"
The man held his hands up in surrender. "I never said that My Lady, I simply think you should eat more."
Well, she is hungry...
"I'm eating this because it looks tasty." She informs him while taking the box.
He chuckled. "Of course kid."
The food was burnt. She still ate everything.
...
Hiding in a bush didn't work so well the last time she tried it, the next step was naturally to hide in a tree.
She should really work on her hiding spots.
Maybe if there wasn't a random snot nosed brat trying to fight her every five minutes she'd like the academy a little more but of course that just can't happen because she's a bloody Uchiha and everyone and their mothers have unfinished business with one.
Ugh. Uchiha. She understands the hatred.
"Child, what are you doing up there?" A woman called out to her as she groaned.
"Hiding from nosey adults." Shirin sneers while glaring down to the woman. "Like you. Go away."
"I'm sure there are safer ways to hide child. Please come down." The woman opens up her arms to catch her.
Shirin jumped down in the opposite just to spite her. And maybe that was a bad idea since her legs instantly buckled from under her and she fell flat on her face.
"Ouch." She mumbled into the ground.
She didn't need to look up to see the woman's gaze of pity to know it was there. "Well you were warned child, in the end you--"
"Only have yourself to blame, yes yes I know the saying well." Shirin picks herself from the ground while wiping the blood from her nose. "My sensei makes it a point to teach me the sayings and their meanings. That one is a favourite of his."
And the saying that goes "good things come to those that wait" which absolutely isn't true. Shirin is living proof to that.
"...I was going to say that in the end you landed in a way that requires medical assistance but that works too." The woman smiles down to her gently, though the positioning was slightly off in all the wrong ways.
She was definitely psychotic.
"I'm Ruri, it's nice meet you child."
"Then it's just too bad I can't say the same Ruri. Now if you'll excuse me I need to run away before the old witch finds me." Shirin then remembers to look around frantically for her nanny, expecting her to pop out at any minute.
She swears that witch can teleport, screw Minato the real yellow flash was Eizan.
The woman chuckled as she points to a shrine. "Why don't you go in there? It's my shrine and only those with permission can enter."
"Sounds like a kidnapping." Shirin states dryly.
Wouldn't be her first time.
"But sure, why not?"
...
A woman with flaming red hair eyed for a good minute before beaming towards her. "Oh Sage you're a little Mikoto but your personality is all that bastards."
Shirin takes offence to that, she's nothing like Fugaku.
"I assume the 'bastard' refers to my father?" Shirin questions with a raised eyebrow.
"U-um, well, don't tell your mother I said." Kushina whispers close to her ear as though telling a secret.
"I could...if you teach me something really cool." The Uchiha heiress smirked slyly. "You're a seal mistress aren't you? I think that something like that will keep my mouth shut."
"On one hand Mikoto will kill me for calling her husband a bastard, on the other hand she'll murder me for teaching her daughter sealing." The redhead mumbled before nodding.
For some reason Shirin felt as though she made a grave mistake.
"So I die either way but at least I get an adorable apprentice from it!" She pumped her fist into the air as if attaining a victory.
"I didn't say anything about being an apprentice--"
Kushina grabbed her hand and began dragging her off. "Haha! Finally! Minato can't brag about having an angsty apprentice anymore. I've finally got my own!"
Who's she calling angsty?!
Shirin quickly realised she doomed herself to this fate when she asked an Uzumaki to teach her sealing. The first thing she was going to learn is time travel to smack her younger self across the face for her stupidity.
...
"Ruri." Shirin greets the shrine maiden as she moves to kneel down next to her.
"Are you here to pray?" The woman asks with a small smile.
It still looked psychotic.
With a snort the girl shakes her head. "I don't even know what god you pray to."
"Ah, there is no particular god this shrine prays to. One member could pray to the Sage of Six Paths and another could pray to a rock. Anyone can pray for anything here." She explains while getting up from her kneeling position.
In that case Shirin is praying to the Shinigami so that it can take her soul.
"Didn't know shrines could do that." Shirin stated with a mildly confused expression. "What god do you pray to?"
"I randomly pick a god each month to pray to." Ruri grins wildly. "Today I pray to Lord Jashin."
She knew she was a psycho!
Shirin paused. "Have fun with that then." She waves while getting up. "Hope your sacrifice doesn't run away."
With the way things were going it was seeming more and more likely that it was going to be her. Because she's just lucky like that.
"Don't worry, the sacrifice has already been done!" Ruri calls back. "On an unrelated note you will be needing a new academy sensei."
Damn, Shirin was actually beginning to like the guy too.
...
Ruri was executed for treason not a week later. How the woman made it that long was beyond her.
...
"I'm not going!" Shirin screams while clutching the hand railing for dear life. "That test is rigged, I didn't even put the right date in! You just want to get rid of me nanny!"
"So there was a little bit of bribery involved Lady Shirin! You still have to go!" Eizan yelled back while attempting to pry her off of the railing.
She didn't deny wanting to get rid of her.
"No! I'm! Not!"
"Yes! You! Are!"
Her hands slipped and Shirin was promptly flung into a wall. Unfortunately, she wasn't unconscious and was still dragged to the academy to be assigned her team.
...
"Please don't be Kushina. Please don't be Kushina. Please don't be Kushina. Please don't be--"
"Team 14 under sensei Aburame Shikuro is Uchiha Shirin, Hyuga Sumei and Yamanaka Taro. "
Thank the Sage it wasn't Kushina.
Shirin immediately breathed a sigh of relief before her teammates names registered in her mind. "Oh no."
"Uchiha you witch, fight me!"
The Sage can get sealed into the god damn moon with his mother.
She banged her head onto the table. "Kill me now."
...
Among the clans it is a known fact that as long as you're in the clan you have a duty to serve them on the field to so unless you're born lacking in some way becoming a shinobi was mandatory. You also needed your clan heads permission to quit.
But, this didn't quite apply if you're not in a clan.
"Mother, I demand to be disowned." Shirin crossed her arms across her chest while staring down the older woman.
Mikoto smiled gently. "No."
Well, that didn't work.
With a great sigh Shirin sat back into her seat. "This family is a joke." She murmured in distain.
"Sis!" Itachi babbled happily. He's a cute little thing, almost one now.
"I didn't mean you Itachi, you're completely innocent."
Until you murder your entire clan. But in his defence they had it coming.
The baby laughed happily. Maybe he shouldn't.
...
Not for the first time Shirin thinks the Nara clan were onto something. The clouds sure are interesting, especially when ignoring troublesome people.
Now that she thinks about it she's pretty sure Taro's mother was a Nara. Too bad she's dead, Shirin would've loved to talk about the ways of the Nara with her.
"Uchiha." Sumei hissed. "We're going on mission, hurry up before your incompetence gets us kicked out of the shinobi force."
She can only hope.
"You really think so?"
The Hyuga shuddered at the Uchiha before turning her head in disgust. "Just go. You and your emotional eyes sicken me."
Do Hyuga's hate the Uchiha because they also have pretty eyes or do they hate them because they are more arrogant? She'll never know.
"Glad the feeling is mutual." She returned before moving to the Hokage's tower.
Someone should burn that place down, it's absolutely hideous.
...
Mikoto hadn't greeted her when she entered the kitchen. That was a sign she was in trouble if she ever saw one.
"Shirin, my dear child." Her mother smiled towards her sweetly. "Why is the Hokage demanding reparations for the Hokage tower's destruction?"
That little snitch.
"He can't prove anything." Shirin spits with hatred. "That bastard is just saying that because I was smiling when it burned down."
And laughing a little maniacally, but details.
"Calling the Hokage a bastard is treason my child." Mikoto stated before leaning in close to her ear. "And he has no proof?"
That she knows of?
Shirin grinned. "None at all."
...
"Sensei." She glares at the Aburame. "Remove your bugs from me."
He eyed her before shrugging his shoulders. "They will remove bits of your chakra. Why? For the purpose of endurance training."
Yea well she didn't want endurance training.
"Remove them."
The man smiled in a very un-Aburame like fashion. "No."
...
"Shirin, my dear apprentice, I'm bored." Kushina whined while clutching her scroll.
"And what do you want me to do about that?" She asked while rolling her eyes
"I don't know, entertain me my apprentice." The redhead orders with a grin.
Ugh, Uzumaki.
A brilliant idea begins to formulate in her mind. "Let's break in to the Hyuga compound and shift everything two degrees to the left."
Kushina began cackling.
...
"So you're Lady Kushina's apprentice." A boy says while staring her down.
Completely against her own will too.
Shirin snorts. "Unfortunately."
The boys eye twitched. "You should feel honoured that she even--"
A blond man interrupted the boy. "What he means to say that it's nice to meet you. Introduce yourself Kakashi." The man encourages as the boy huffed.
"I'm Hatake Kakashi, it is not nice to meet you."
Well, at least he's honest.
"Kakashi!" The older ninja scolds before smiling apologetically towards her. "He doesn't mean that."
"I do."
"It's fine, I don't like him all that much either."
They glare at each other.
"Uchiha." He sneers
"Um, whatever your clan was again."
The boy attempts to stab her with a kunai. She's starting to like the brat.
...
The outcast of the Uchiha clan stared at her for a minute before scoffing. "I don't see what's so good about you."
"Yeah, me neither."
Obito shifts uncomfortably, not expecting that. "Um, yeah, so I'll be way better and beat you!" He declares.
"Alright, you do that."
His face falls. "Aren't you like, I don't know, going to prove me wrong?"
Why would she ever do something so annoying?
"I don't see the point."
"So you think you're better than me and won't fight me?!"
Not really, but it could be implied.
"Sure."
Obito was speechless. She took that as her opportunity to leave.
...
"Sensei is in the hospital." Her Yamanaka teammate informed her.
He's probably in there because his bugs drained too much chakra from him. As much as she complains about being a Uchiha at least she isn't an Aburame.
"Serves him right, he keeps putting his freaky little bugs on me."
"I'm pretty sure those are normal bugs Taro."
At least she hopes so. She can't take much more endurance training.
"No way! How do you explain why I have so many then?!"
"Taro," she drawls, "your family has a lot of plants. They attract bugs."
"We use pesticides." He argues.
"On everything?" She raises an eyebrow as he shifts. "Didn't think so."
...
Her mother had literally thrown her out of the house which was the only reason why she even bothered meeting up with her team. If she had it her way then Shirin would never leave her house.
"Uchiha." Sumei sneered at her arrival.
Shirin expertly ignored the girl.
"Hey Taro, is sensei finally out of the hospital?"
"Don't ignore me!" The Hyuga interjected.
"Yep!" The Yamanaka beamed. "But here's hoping he has to go back, missions suck."
He probably meant the D-Ranks. Personally, Shirin hated them all equally but she can see where he comes from.
Sumei was yelling something, maybe she should listen.
"--and this is why all you Uchiha are all the same--"
You would think a Uchiha had committed a grievous crime against her with the way she goes on about them. Maybe they had, her clan is full of criminals after all. Hell, she's one herself with the amount of casual treason she commits.
The Yamanaka of the group decided then was an excellent time to come to her defence. "Sumei, I know your clan and Shirin's aren't exactly on the best of terms but there's no need to insult her like this."
"Tsk." The girl huffs.
Shirin, like the very mature adult she is, sticks her tongue out towards the girl while Taro can't see.
The Huyga nearly throttles her in her anger.
...
A curly haired Uchiha stared at her with wide eyes. He should keep those beady little things to himself.
"Lady Shirin." The boy calls while fidgeting. "It's nice to meet you."
Gosh, who's raising all these well spoken toddlers?
The Uchiha heiress stares at her mother. "He's a baby."
He's like three, she can't marry a three year old.
"Shisui is just a bit younger than you." Mikoto states while ruffling her hair. "He'll make a good partner for you when you grow up. Your father and I had a five year age difference yet we still grew up to like each other."
After attempting to murder each other, Eizan told her that.
Shirin utterly refused to accept this. "Mother, I can't marry him."
Her mother sighed. "And why can't you marry him my child?"
Because he's a baby and she's not a cradle robber. Mikoto won't believe that though.
"Because I like girls." Shirin states, face completely serious.
Mikoto was speechless.
Her engagement was called off not a day later. She counts this as an absolute win.
...
Taro grinned happily as he slung an arm around her shoulder. He was all too happy about receiving that C-Rank he so wanted. Poor kid, his Nara genes didn't prevail at all.
In the end she's also mildly happy, if she had to pull out one more weed from a garden she'll commit treason....well, more treason then she normally commits.
"This is great Shirin, I'll finally be able to become a super cool ninja like my dad!" Taro declares, his arm still wrapped around her shoulder. "What kind of ninja do you wanna be? I wanna be one that goes down in the history books! Oh, maybe I can become Hokage!"
Shirin prays to be a dead ninja. She isn't mean enough to tell him that though.
"A retired ninja. And never become Hokage, that job is for fools who don't like sleeping."
Just look at the Third Hokage, he looks like he hasn't caught a lick of sleep since he took on the hat. That was...twenty years ago. Probably.
"Shirin, I'm like ninety percent sure calling the Hokage title for fools is an act of treason."
Anything is nowadays. She almost got jumped by some Root-nin for saying that if Danzo became Hokage at least half of the shinobi in Konoha would defect. Emotionless ninja her ass.
"Well, he isn't around to hear it and you're not telling anyone."
Taro sighs. "I'm not going to, but I really should."
"Yeah," Shirin agrees easily, "I think you should to."
...
"Sensei, it's nice to see you finally out of the hospital." Shirin greets the older man who stares down to her.
Those knees need to be cut down, he is far too tall. Bloody tree.
"Hm." Shikuro murmured as he tilted his head to the side. "I was under the impression you wouldn't be happy about it. Why? Because Taro has stated multiple times that he wishes my Kikaichu would drain me of chakra once again."
So that's what his bugs were called. You learn something new everyday, or something like that.
"Well he was right, go back."
Shikuro's lips twitched up. "I thought you said that you were happy to see me."
"I changed my mind."
She hasn't, it was nice to the bastard again.
"Hm, endurance training."
Scratch that she hopes he dies a fiery death.
___________________________________
An: hope you enjoyed. Feedback is appreciated.