season 5 episode 11
Outside Looking In
🚨
Lindsey reached for her glass and took a sip of her wine. Her other hand held her fork which continued to push the food around on the plate.
"Your food okay?" Eddie asked. He had invited Lindsey and Buck over for dinner. Lindsey nodded, "Yeah, I mean, it's really good. I'm just not that hungry, so..." She trailed off and Eddie gave her a suspicious look, "You ate something before you came here, didn't you?"
"Well..." She trailed off again. Buck continued for her, "We didn't want to take any chances. Besides, a hangry Lindsey is not something you wanna see." Lindsey shot Buck an offended look as she smacked him on the arm.
"But this is, this is really good," Buck continued to say and a look of realization flashed across his face, "Carla, you can come out. I know you made dinner. Come on. Where are you?" Eddie scoffed, "All this time people thought I was a bad cook."
"You were." Chris commented which caused Lindsey and Buck to laugh.
"Now that i'm on a regular schedule, I've had a lot more time to practice." Eddie told them and Lindsey nodded, "Yeah, well, practice definitely makes perfect. I'm very impressed."
"Me too. You got to make this when you come back to the firehouse." Buck added and Lindsey watched as Eddie's face fell. He quickly brushed it off and said, "Hope you're not too full for dessert."
"Is that possible?" Lindsey asked as Eddie started to collect their plate. She looked over to Buck and motioned for him to follow Eddie.
While the two talked in the kitchen, Lindsey spent the time asking Christopher about Christmas and all the presents he got.
"Dispatch, 727-Adam-30. Approaching the vehicle now." Lindsey said into the radio as Athena pulled the car up next to vehicle.
"All right, I'm deploying the drone to check for devices." Jim, leader of the bomb squad, said from the back seat, and they watched as a drone flew towards the vehicle. "Home made device. Could be packed with a nitrate or a chloride compound." Jim said and Lindsey sighed, "Any one of those would take out the truck and then some."
The radio beeped and Athena grabbed a hold of the walkie, "We do see something. It's cause for concern."
"So-so now what? Do we diffuse it?" They heard the father who is driving the vehicle ask. Athena turned to look at Jim who was shaking his head. "We can't do anything while you're moving."
"What do we do, then?" This time it was the mother's voice.
The sound of firetrucks could be heard from behind them. "All right, we're falling back." Athena called and she moved the car so they were no longer in line with the vehicle.
The two firetrucks passed them and moved up next to the vehicle. Lindsey watched from her seat as firefighters started to climb out of the truck, while it was still moving, and climb on top of the truck. Lindsey figured that it was Buck and Ravi up on the 118s truck, but she didn't know who was up on the 147s truck.
She watched as they jumped from the truck to land onto the trunk of the vehicle. Once they were on, they moved one of the firetrucks so they were now behind the vehicle, which also cut off Lindsey's view.
"Guys," A familiar voice came through the radio, "Guys it's Eddie. Do not move the driver. A bomb like that is a sophisticated device. There could be a pressure switch somewhere that senses the driver's movements. Let me talk to the driver."
Eddie went on to ask if there was anything under the pedals and the father checked and found something under the gas. "Do not take your foot off the gas. Okay, everything's gonna be fine. Just sit tight." They heard Eddie say, and then Bucks voice came through the radio, "Yeah uh, problem with that plan. We don't have a lot of freeway left."
"So what's the move?" Athena asked. Lindsey grabbed the walkie and proceeded to say, "Dad, for now, you stay in the truck. Mom and everyone else off." Jim added, "We keep you moving, load two of my guys, and we defuse it in motion."
In response, they heard the mom trying to convince the dad to switch places with her. That way he can live and his mother won't hate her for letting him die. "Ma'am," Athena called into the walkie, "It may not be my place but we're a little short on time here."
"You don't know her." The mother said, referring to her mother-in-law. "I think I have a pretty good idea." Athena told her. "You have a horrible mother-in-law too?"
"I have a mother who matches her description. She hated my husband. But eventually, she warmed up to him."
"How?" The mother asked. "He asked her for help. Made her feel needed. Now ma'am, please get out of the truck." The mother listened and they got her out of the vehicle.
They heard through the radio that they some how got the dad out as well. Lindsey's eyes furrowed, "Then who's driving the vehicle?"
"Vehicle evacuated. All units fall back." Bobby called and Athena slowly pulled the car to a stop next to the firetrucks.
They watched as the vehicle crashed into construction, water burst everywhere. Lindsey and Athena got out of the car and made their way over to Bobby.
"Guess the bomb was fake." Lindsey heard Buck say from above them. Lindsey's eyes narrowed at the vehicle, "I don't think so." And then the vehicle exploded.
Buck had shot Lindsey a text later that night saying the team was going out for drinks and he asked if she wanted to join them. Lindsey wasn't one to turn down a night out. So once her shift ended, she clocked out and ran back to Bucks apartment to change into something a bit comfier.
Lindsey made her way through the bar. There were multiple firefighters there. Her eyes scanned for her friends. She found Hen first, talking to some guy. Lindsey made her way over to them, "Hey Hen." Hen turned to smile at her, "Hey Lindsey."
Lindsey's gaze shifted over to the man Hen was with. He wore a LAFD shirt, and his hair style was similar to Bucks. Lindsey's face twisted into confusion as she looked at the man. Something about him seemed so familiar. "Do I know you? Have we met before?" Lindsey asked.
The man shook his head, "No, No we haven't. I'm Jonah." He stuck out his hand and Lindsey shook it. "Huh, you look really familiar. Must be thinking of someone else."
"You wanna drink?" Hen asked Lindsey. "Uh, yeah, I'll grab one in a minute." She answered as her eyes shifted around the bar again.
"He's at the pool tables."
Lindsey turned to Hen with a confused look, "What?" Hen gave her a smile, "Buck. He's playing pool."
"Oh, okay," Lindsey nodded, "I'm gonna go find him." Lindsey slowly started to back away from Hen who smirked at her, "Yeah you do that."
Lindsey pushed her way through the crowd of people and over to where the pool tables were. She could just make out Buck, who was leaning against one of the tables. She was about to make her way over to him when she noticed someone standing in front of him.
She watched as he smiled at something the woman said. Her brows scrunched together, unsure of what she should do. She had no idea who this woman was, she couldn't even see her face.
She decided she was gonna call out to Buck but his name died in her throat as she watched the woman's hand move up to his face, and she leaned in to kiss him. Lindsey's eyes widened and she felt her breath hitch, but not in a good way.
The kiss was quick, more of a peck. She watched as the woman slightly pulled away. Lindsey tried to make out the expression on Bucks face but there was no time because the two leaned back towards each other to kiss again. Bucks hand moved up to the woman's neck and Lindsey swore in that moment, time froze.
It suddenly felt really hot and like the room was closing in on her. She felt her breathing increase as she quickly turned on her heel and pushed back through the crowd. She was making her way towards the door when Hen stopped her. "Hey, you okay?"
Lindsey tried to cover up her expression as she gave Hen a nod, "Yeah, I forgot that I was supposed to call Hotch. He wants me to look over a case they are working on. So i'm gonna go."
"Okay, but are you sure you can't stay? Just for a little bit." Hen asked and Lindsey shook her head, "It's a big case and they are running low on time." Lindsey quickly said goodbye before making her way out the door. A tear fell from her eyes as she climbed into her car.
"Uh, who-who should I have him drop off first? Me or you?"
Hen reached her hand out to Buck, "I ordered the uber."
Buck let out a groan as he said, "I texted Linds telling her to come but she never showed." Hens eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Yeah, she did. She showed up not long after Bobby left."
"Then why didn't I see her?" Buck asked with a confused and drunk expression. "You should have. She was looking for you the moment she came in. I told her you were over by the pool tables. Though, she wasn't there for long. I found her trying to leave, she seemed a little upset."
Bucks eyes widened in realization, "Oh no." Hen watched as his head fell into his hands. "Buck, what did you do?"
"We kissed." Hens face turned into confusion, "You and Lindsey?"
"No, Me and Lucy."
Hens jaw dropped and her eyes went wide, "You kissed her?!" Buck immediately shook his head, "Nah, nah, she...She kissed me."
"And?"
"And I-I said no. I said that I love someone else, and-and I ran away." Hen slowly nodded at Bucks words, "Oh, ok so no harm, no foul. You can just explain to Lindsey it was a misunderstanding and that Lucy came on to you."
Buck nodded, but his face twisted, "Okay, I may...I may have kissed her back."
Hen let out a groan, "Buck!"
"I know, I know okay. What do I do now? I mean, Lindsey and I, we aren't back together but...we've been in this really good place. Not to mention we slept together a few weeks before Christmas."
"You two...Oh Buck!" Hen said as she smacked him on the arm. Buck rubbed him arm as Hen continued to ask, "Have you guys talked about it at all?"
"We haven't really had the chance. I mean her friend died a few days after, and then it was Christmas, and we've both been busy. But it definitely changed things for us. What am I gonna do now?"
"Do you plan on kissing Lucy again?" Buck immediately shook his head, "No, no! You know, it just...it just happened. But it won't happen again."
"And you mentioned that you love Lindsey, is that true?" Hen asked and Buck nodded, "Yeah, I love her. I never stopped."
Hen gave him a soft smile, "Them maybe it's time you tell her."
Lindsey was curled up on the couch. Her body was turned so she was facing the back of the couch, and her head was pressed into the cushion.
She had been like this since she got back from the bar. She just layed there, tears rolling down her face.
The sound of the door caught her attention but she didn't move. She could hear footsteps moving and she knew it was Buck. "Linds? You awake?" She heard him whisper.
She didn't answer and she didn't move. She stayed still, waiting to see if he was going to walk over to her or say anything else.
"I'm...so sorry, Linds." She could hear his voice break. He sounded genuinely sorry.
Lindsey felt more tears run down her face and she had to keep her sobs quiet, so than he wouldn't hear.
He didn't say anything else. She listened as his footsteps moved up the stairs. Once she was sure he was upstairs, she brought her hand to her mouth to cover up the cries that she couldn't keep in. Her chest ached and she could physically feel her heart breaking into pieces.
The following morning, Lindsey woke up earlier than usual. She wanted to quickly get ready and leave before Buck was up.
That didn't end up happening.
After getting dressed, Lindsey walked out of the bathroom to see Buck sitting at the counter. His head was tucked into his hands, but when he heard Lindsey leave the bathroom, he quickly turned to her.
"I made you a cup of coffee." He said, gesturing to the mug. She looked over at it for a moment before saying, "Thanks but I actually have to get going."
She made her way over to her bag, missing the fact that Bucks face dropped. "Lindsey, can we-" He was cut off, "I'm sorry, but I have to go."
He didn't get the chance to say anything else. She had quickly walked out the door.
Buck let out a sigh as he dropped back into his chair. He thought that they had made progress. That they were letting each other back in. But then he had to go and mess it up. Now he's pushed her away, and he's not sure if he's gonna be able to get her back.
Athena and Lindsey pulled up to see a group of people arguing and Williams trying to break them up. "What's the disturbance?" Athena asked as they made their way towards the group.
"He is," one of the men said, "Look at all this crap. He won't clean it up." Lindsey took a look at the home. It looked more like a junk yard.
"It's not crap. It's my property." The other man defended.
"Every morning I look out my window, and this is my view. It's unsanitary and it's unsightly." The woman complained. "Those words are subjective, right?" The man asked and the woman scoffed.
"That family just listed way below comps to get away from this creeps junk yard. That's not subjective. He's hurting my wallet." Lindsey stopped the complaining man, "So far, what i'm hearing is a complaint to the city, not a reason to call 911."
"They didn't call," the other man said, "I did. Okay, these people are trespassing. They've been stealing my property. They're harassing me."
"Your property? You fished half this junk out of our trash!" The other man said as he grabbed an item and slammed it to the ground.
"It's only junk if it's not useful, which all of this is. Okay, do you have any idea how hard it is to find diodes like these?"
"Oh, i'll put 'em somewhere you'll be able to find 'em!" The man went to run at the other man but William stopped him.
"All right, all right. Enough. Both of you to your corners." Athena said as she put herself between the two men. "I'm watching you." The man that owns the junkyard said.
"Oh is that a threat? You heard him, he threatened me."
Lindsey held up her hands, "All right, we have plenty of room in the back of the cop car for both of you." Her attention got caught by a familiar face across the street. "Williams, start taking statements. We'll be right back." Lindsey said as she made her way over to the woman, Athena following behind.
"Officer Scott, Sergeant Grant." The woman called. The same woman from the vehicle that had the bomb. "We heard you're moving in a hurry. Is that because of the car bomber?" Athena asked.
"That man knew where we lived. He's still out there. We'll just feel safer someplace else. Even if it's at my mother-in-laws." Athena's face twisted in surprise, "Oh, on her invitation?"
"I took your advice. All I needed to do was just reach out and ask her for help, and...now she loves me. You two here for Trashcan Kurt?" Lindsey nodded, "Well, he doesn't seem to be too well-liked around these parts."
"We have tried. We've even offered to clean up, but he just refuses. My husband even filed for a court order to force him to clean up."
"Oh yeah? How'd that go?" Athena asked. "We didn't even make it to court. I just...With everything that's gone on, it's...It just didn't feel important anymore." Lindsey's eyes shifted over to the home and then back to the woman, "So you dropped the court order? The man who called you about the bomb-you said he knew things about you."
The woman nodded, "Yeah. He said he knew our kids names, what my husband did for a living. It was like he was watching us the whole time." Lindsey's eyes met Athena's and she knew she was thinking the same thing, "Like he was right outside your house, looking in?"
"That's what he said-"i'm watching you.""
Lindsey turned back to the woman, "Go inside and lock all the doors, now." Athena grabbed her walkie, "This is 727-Adam-30 requesting immediate backup at 573 Dunham Lane. Possible bombing suspect. Pursuing him into his home."
"William, go around back, keep an eye out for trip wires. Who knows what he's got in there." Lindsey called as her and Athena made their way towards the house.
Athena knocked on the door, "Sir, this is LAPD. If you do not open this door, we are coming in." When they got no answer, Lindsey pushed forward and kicked open the door.
Advancing inside, they were met with a maze of clutter. They grabbed their flashlights and slowly made their way through the home. They were cautious, making sure to avoid trip wires.
They could hear movement from around them. Lindsey caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye. She nudged Athena and gestured towards the tower of boxes in front of them. Athena nodded, and they waited till they heard movement again before pushing the box's down.
They heard a grunt and they knew they got him. Pushing through the clutter, they found the man on the ground. Athena reached for her walkie, "Dispatch, this is 727-Adam-30. We need a RA unit. He may have sustained minor injuries. Bomber suspect is in custody."
When Lindsey walked into the apartment, Buck rounded the corner to meet her. Their eyes locked and the look of sadness was present in both. "Lindsey, can we talk now?"
Lindsey nodded and she took a seat at the table. Buck followed, taking the seat across from her. Lindsey watched as Buck opened his mouth to say something but he quickly closed it as a hand ran through his hair.
"Look, Buck, just because we slept together doesn't mean that we're together. I mean, it was just the heat of the moment right? So, you have...every right to kiss whoever you want." Lindsey said as her eyes dropped to her hands. She started to fidget with her rings.
"No Lindsey, it wasn't just a heat of the moment thing. Not for me. It meant something to me. Every moment we have means something to me." She heard Buck say. She felt his hand reach out to grab hers and she looked up to meet his eyes.
"Linds, I'm an idiot. I never should have let Lucy kiss me and I never should have kissed her back. I know I messed up, and I know I hurt you, which is killing me, but I want you to know that it didn't mean anything. It meant nothing. She means nothing, I don't even know her. But you...you mean everything to me."
Lindsey could feel tears well up in her eyes, "Buck, I..." She trailed off for a moment, "You mean everything to me too. And it...hurt to see you with her."
"I know, and I know that no amount of sorrys will make up for it. And I understand if you'll never be able to forgive me but Linds, I'm so sorry." Buck watched as Lindsey took a breath. It looked like she debating what to say. Her mouth opened slightly and then closed. Her lips twisted into a line as she gently slipped her hand out of his. He watched as she pushed her chair back and stood up. His eyes never left her chair as she walked past him.
He let out a sigh and his hands moved to rub against his face. He was mad, mad at himself. He fucked it all up and lost the love of his life. His eyes had become cloudy and he let out a shaky breath.
He froze when he felt two hands wrap around his shoulders. He felt a head press against his and a voice in his ear, "I can't blame you. I've hurt you too many times to be mad at you." Buck didn't say anything, he just brought his hands up to grip her arms.
He felt her breath against his ear and his hands squeezed her arms. Her voice rang through his ear again, "I forgive you."
🚨
just a reminder there are two different jonah's in this story. The jonah in this chapter is the firefighter
also buck kissed lucy
🙄
that was probably the only time i ever felt bad for taylor
poor lindsey just keeps getting hurt, both physically and emotionally...but they talked and she forgave him
🥳
part of me wasn't sure if she should forgive him right away but at the same time she's hurt him pretty bad and he was able to forgive her so i think she'd be willing to forgive him
(not to mention that they are still technically not together so...)
also
Happy Thanksgiving
🦃