So today, Opal came over to my house. I'm still in Russia, obviously, but they wanted to bring their kids over to hang out with Junji. By the way, they had another kid. I forgot to let you know! She's a girl and she's one year younger than Junji. Jun admitted that he has a huge crush on her, it's so cute! Zeke even told me that she likes him too. Her name is Elvira. Iconic, I know! I wish I could've thought of that! They call her El as her nickname, too! But around us, they call her Vira so we don't get confused.
Azul and Elvira De La Fontaine. Why would they go with Opals last name! It's so long! But it's also fancy. I actually like it. Zeke's last name isn't even Pérez anymore, it's De La Fontaine. It's so silly.
"Dada!" Rowan said as she reached out her arms for me. I completely forgot to explain this. Her birthday is in April. April 5th. Jared was only alive for three months for her. He died in July. It was always July for him. He got kidnapped in July. I "cheated" on him in July, although we realized it was assault. Now he died in July. He died July 7th. His birthday is July 17th. That was his funeral. It's been 6 months since he died. I've been here for 5 months. I spent all of July and a little of august just laying in bed until I was forced to come to Sweden. and then I just laid in bed for another month until I had to actually get up and do stuff with my family.
Anyways, Rowan is 9 months old. It's February. I went to Stockholm for my birthday, which you know. So I'm 29 now. Jared would've been 28 by now. Elle is 15, Junji is 7... I feel so old. Anyways, it's still extremely snowy here in Russia. But I've been taking Rowan out to play in the snow. I don't put her in it, but I scoop a little in my hands and I place it on the wooden porch for her to touch or play. She's able to stand, but can't walk yet. She can just say Dada. But, she has the sweetest smile. It looks just like Jareds. She's... just a copy and paste of Jared. His eyes, his nose, his smile, his hair, his lips, his skin color.
"Aahhhh!" She laughed as she slapped the snow. I obviously had put gloves and warm clothes on her, just so you know. I only had her out there for about 10 minutes.
"You like the snow?" I asked her as she kept trying to grab it. That's when Nabi came out with some coffee.
"Grandma is making you tea, it's just not ready yet." He said as he sat on the porch chair.
"How did she know I liked tea more than coffee?" I asked.
"Dude, you're moms kid. Mom never liked coffee. She would only drink tea or hot chocolate. Just like you." He said.
"You look most like her, yet you like coffee." I joked, "and you have her personality. Bitchy but caring."
"Wow, rude." He laughed. That's when Rowan had completely spread the snow around, so I got up to get her more.
"Dude, just let her stand in the snow. It's okay." Nabi told me.
"I don't want her feet to get cold." I replied.
"You got big ass combat boots on her. Plus, I raised 3 kids in Germany! We get a lot of snow there. I promise it's safe." He said. So I did it. I just had her stand in it. But then Nabi got up and sat on the stairs.
"Have her sit in between your legs. She will be okay. I did this all the time." Nabi said. I sat in the snow and I let her stand for a while before letting her sit. My uncle came out to bring me the tea, but then we start talking and talking while we were in the snow.
"Do you get paler in the winter or something? I don't remember you being this pale." He joked. He used to visit a lot, so I've known my uncle. He's my moms brother!
"I probably do. Perks of albinism I guess." I replied. That's when he pulled out his phone to take a picture of me, Rowan, and Nabi. And then one of just me and Rowan. That's when we finally got inside to get warm, and he printed them out. I posted them. I hadn't posted in a long time. I posted about Jared funeral, and that was it. But I posted this time! It obviously blew up immediately. People were still apologizing for Jareds death, complimenting Rowan, calling me sexy as always, which is always funny. But I also posted me with Nabi. He got compliments as well. There's always the trolls that'll make fun of Jareds death for attention, but I never feed them. I don't give them the attention. People usually just mass report their comment and it gets removed.
Anyways, inside, I began to feed Rowan. I've been giving her little bites of normal food, like spaghetti sauce or a tiny piece of a scone. I love her eyes. Her bright purple eyes. Her cute Asian eyes. I hope that doesn't sound bad, but obviously, she's Japanese! She's got sweet eyes.
"What's her Japanese name again?" My uncle asked as he sat next to me.
"Kayako." I explained.
"Kayako. Cute. What a cute little name!" He said as he tickled her stomach a little. Her hair grows really fast, I'm already able to put it in two little ponytails. It's kinda like Boo from Monsters Inc.
"Yeah, her dad picked it out." I replied.
"Your husband?" He replied.
"Oh, Hah, yeah. Him." I said.
"He was Japanese, huh?" He asked.
"Y-yeah! He was. He really embraced it, too. He had a Japanese name too." I replied as I kept feeding Rowan her baby food.
"I never liked sweet potatoes. It's crazy that she likes them." He told me.
"I don't either! Maybe she's just hungry." I smiled as I kept feeding her. She ate the whole damn thing. It began to get dark and Nabi made us all dinner, which was nice. Then, I called Jareds parents.
"Hey!" His mom said.
"Hello! Just wanted to say good morning! And of course, show you Rowan." I explained.
"Good morning! Or, night." She laughed. That's when I turned the phone to Rowan.
"Oh my god, I miss you two so much." She said.
"We miss you too. I could really use one of your hugs. And your cookies." I replied.
"You get the biggest mama bear hug!" She said with a smile. Her and I talked for a while before she had to go and open her cafe. And as I just put Rowan to bed... I got a group call from my grandma from Sweden and my dad.
"Hello?" I asked.
"This is cut short." My dad said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Karma, you're doing better. So much better. We both think you should go home next month." My grandma explained.
"W-wait, what?" I asked.
"Kid, you've improved. You can do whatever you want at night, like grieve or not sleep, but you've been doing amazingly other than that. You'll always be sad. And you should be. Your heart has been shattered. But, we think you're ready to come back and be a good dad to your kids." My dad explained.
"R-really? You're letting me come back?" I asked.
"We can't control what you do, Karma. You could've came back the second you got there. But, I'm now giving you my blessing, I suppose. I miss you and Rowan like crazy. And your kids do too." He said. I started to cry.
"Yeah. You're missing way to much. Anya isn't doing good, and it'll be horrible if you didn't get to see her." He explained. Anya? My doggy!
"What! What's wrong with her!?" I asked, panicked.
"Karma, she's 13. It's still pretty young, since most live til 20, but we found a tumor in her. It's cancerous." He told me. Now I was crying even more. I fucking love Anya! She was my mommy's dog that our sweet old lady neighbor who passed away gave to me!
"Why is my life going down hill." I quietly said.
"You've been gone since August. It's been about 6 months. You're doing better. And I miss you like crazy, and your dog needs you. She's going to get surgery next week, and then they're gonna go from there. So, you'll see some money taken out of your bank." He explained.
"Please update me. How's the cats? Jared's mom never really tells me about them. I know you go over there a lot for dinner." I asked as I wiped a tear away.
"Your cat is thriving! Now, Fitz, he's just getting lazy. But, they're both pretty old. Fitz is a fat old man." He joked
"Fitz isn't fat! Rude!" I laughed.
"He's a fat hairs less cat." My grandma joked.
"He's a Devon Rex! He has some hair! Don't bully my husbands cat." I joked.
"Ugh, anyways. Your cats are fine. All the animals are fine. You're house is fine. I just don't get how you can stand walking everywhere in this house! It's too big!" He joked.
"What's why Jared and I were in good shape! We had to walk around the whole house to get to one place to the other. Jareds office was down stairs to the left of the entrance, we gotta go up stairs to get to all the bedrooms." I explained.
"Too much!" My grandma replied. I fell asleep after that with Rowan in my arms. And then Nabi was on the other side of me. Yes, we had to share a room. And a bed. Him and I would joke around and hold onto each other and act scared. Anyways, that morning, my grandma woke us up and told us to get ready, so we did. She told me she has someone she wants me to meet.
"Who is it?" I asked as I slowly let go of Rowan so she could sleep peacefully.
"Your moms friend. They've known each other their whole life. They even went to college together in Sweden, which is where Emi met your dad. Your mom had Ampora not long after, and a few years later, her friend had a baby too. They bonded even more from having their kids, but then you guys moved to America. She has met you before, but you were only a baby. She would like to reconnect! Since, you know, you guys are both her best friends kids." She explained.
"Interesting. I'd be glad to!" Nabi replied. We got ready and Nabi drove us to her house in the next town over. It was a little hard finding it, but we got it. It was a middle sized house. Like, middle class. There were a few cars in the drive way.
We got up to the porch, and my grandma knocked. A tall blond woman answered. She hugged our grandma and then invited us inside.
"You two look like the spitting image of Clem!" She told us. Clem? Everyone calls my mom Emi. Her name is Clementine... maybe it was just their thing.
"Yeah, we get that a lot." Nabi replied.
"If anything, this one looks a lot like their dad as he looks more like their mom." My grandma said. She was saying that I looked more like my dad, which, yeah. I do. When Nabi is literally all just mom.
"I remember Zack. He was such a goofball. How's your sister? She was the sweetest kid." She asked us.
"Ampora is doing great!" I replied as she sat us down on the couch.
"Whose this cutie?" She smiled as she sat next to me, gently putting a hand on Rowan.
"My daughter, her name is Rowan." I softly said.
"She's so sweet. Look at those eyes! Her mom must have some good looks!" She said. I honestly gasped a little.
"Uh, thanks. She's absolutely adorable! Um, she doesn't actually have a mom though. My husband and I paid a lot of money to have her. So, she has his looks." I politely explained.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have assumed. Wait, that means you're the one with the um, dead, husband?" She cautiously asked, "I thought it was Nabi!" She laughed a little. Nabi blushed a bit.
"Hah, yeah. He's the straight one." I replied.
"I'm so sorry for your loss." She told me.
"I'm sorry for yours. I now know what it's like to lose your best friend." I said. A tear rolled down her cheek.
"Your mother was such a good person. She had some attitude but that's what made me love her. I'm sorry you had to lose her at the age you were. 16 is hard." She told me.
"Yeah. But, I had my boyfriend! Well, husband. He was able to help me a lot." I explained.
"You sure did." She laughed again. After a bit, she revealed that she had made us a grand breakfast. She invited her two kids over. Both boys. The older one, the one around Ampora's age, came first. He only spoke Russian, but he knew a little bit of English. He would have to practically play charades with us just to understand what he's saying. He was pretty nice. He had blond hair. It was short and he had these daggering blue eyes. Basic Russian!
But then the younger one came. He's 26. I hate to admit it, he was stunning. Messy blond hair that almost crept down to the top of his shoulders. It was some-what curly. And the same, beautiful blue eyes. He also seemed to be Asian. But, he was pure blond. That's rare! They must have different dads.
Their names were Sasha and Valerian. Valerian is the younger one. God he's striking. Wait, why am I thinking like this? I love Jared. He's mine. I belong to him indefinitely. But, Valerian is so...AUGH...Jared was more AUGH. Oh my god I'm going crazy. I lost my husband. I can't be crushing on people.
"Валериана! Ешьте свою собственную чертову еду!" Sasha exclaimed.
"Съешь мешок с членами, Саша." Valerian replied.
"Мальчики, пожалуйста! У нас есть гости. И постарайтесь говорить по-английски, чтобы они могли вас понять!" Natasha, their mom and our mothers friend, exclaimed.
"I'm very sorry. They always pick on each other." She giggled as she took a bite.
"Why do we have to speak English?" Valerian asked.
"They can't speak Russian." She explained.
"Чертовы Американцы." Sasha mumbled. My grandma laughed a little. I forgot she can understand all of this.
"Саша, в этих мальчиках нет американцев. У них в жилах течет русская кровь, и они родились в Швеции." My grandma kindly said. Nabi and I were just sitting here awkward. So we did what everyone else was doing.
"Nabi, du har långa näshår." I quietly said.
"Hur vågar du! du har jävla tänder!" He replied. If you can translate this, we are joking with each other. That's when they finally stopped talking in Russian and looked at us.
"Long nose hairs!?" Natasha laughed.
"You understand Swedish?" Nabi laughed.
"Of course! I lived there for nearly 10 years!" She exclaimed as she kept laughing. After that, everyone spoke English, other than Sasha, since he can't. I didn't get to talk to Valerian much, but he goes by Val. So I'll just call him that.
This is Val!!