Later that night, after Laura and I sneakily snuck out of my room and made our way into the kitchen. Imagine a child sneaking out of their room late at night for a snack. That is what we are both reduced to right now.
Both Ryver and Tracer have tried to knock and talk through my bedroom door, and all they heard back was silence. Neither Laura nor I wanted to talk to either of them. Laura had her issues with Tracer as I had mine with Ryver, but I'm pretty sure they are laid by the same pavement.
Childhood trauma.
Just because I understand doesn't mean I'm fine with Ryver treating me this way. I get it. I'm not some pathetic woman that will beg a man to be with her. I did that once. Begged Ryver to stay, and he refused. I won't do it again, and that doesn't mean I want to live here peacefully and watch Cherry be all over him after he tells me he still cares about me.
Cherry.
That bitch.
She makes me want to claw her eyes out. I can't stand her, and I know it's jealousy. Jealousy that maybe she is right. Perhaps a woman like me can't keep a man like Ryver happy. Perhaps I am too weak for him. He clearly thinks that himself. Otherwise, he wouldn't be so against being with me again.
Once we tip toed ourselves into the kitchen, Laura closed the door. Finally, the two of us can breathe and relax at not getting caught by the two men that no doubt would have stormed towards us if they had seen.
“I'm starved.” Laura mumbled as she headed straight for the fridge. “I'm not sure what I can make that won't be smelled by several drunk cavemen, so maybe we should just settle on cereal and milk.”
“That's fine with me. Anything to be less suspicious. I don't feel like dealing with either of them.” I agreed and headed towards the cabinet, grabbing two bowls, and closed the door softly.
We were eating our cheerios when the kitchen door swung up with a loud thud, making both Laura and I jump up from our stools.
“Slade! You scared us,” Laura scolded him softly before hopping off her stool. She quickly made her way over to him, grabbed his big arm, and basically yanked him fully into the kitchen before closing the door.
When I say tugged, I mean she pulled, and he allowed it. Something tells me that man wouldn't have moved unless he wanted to.
“What in the hell are you two doing? Why y'all being so quiet? You know Prez and Tracer have been waiting for you both to finally come out from hiding.” He looks down and scolds us right back. “I'm impressed, though.” He adds with a slight grin on her lips.
Impressed?
Impressed by what? Our cowardliness?
“We just don't wish to deal with them right now. Are you going to rat us out?” I asked quietly while I chewed on my bottom lip. I don't want to deal with Ryver this late at night. I just wanted something to eat in peace. Me and Laura, been hiding in my room for hours.
“Nah. I saw nothing" He smirked before walking out of the kitchen, not saying a word.
I don't think I should believe him.
Something tells me we shouldn't.
“Why do I feel like we are about to get caught?” I quickly asked Laura.
“Because we are.” She sighed and started thrusting cereal into her mouth. “Hurry, eat faster. Those guys keep nothing from each other. Slade may not come right out and tell them, but he will give them a hint, and the boys ain't dumb. They will figure it out.”
“Dammit.” I complained and did what she was doing, shoving cereal into my mouth as quickly as I could.
The sooner we eat, the sooner we can get the fuck out of here and back to the safety of my room.
Ryvers P.O. V
I have been sitting in the main room, sipping my beer like a pathetic boy who got punished. Tracer is right beside me feeling the same type of way I'm feeling. Fucked up. He hasn't said a word to me, and I have not said a word to him.
We have just been sitting here in a foul mood and drinking. Nobody, not even Liam, is fucking with me tonight. Everyone gives me my space to either be alone in my fucked up frame of mind or to get my head out of my ass like Slade suggested.
Speaking of Slade I see him grinning as he exits the kitchen. What's that fucker got to be so happy about? Not that I even should complain. We barely seen Slade so much as smile in a very long time. He looks over at me, sitting in the same spot I have been for hours, and heads my way, that grin on his face only growing wider as he gets closer.
What the fuck is he up to?
“How's the beer brothers?” He asked as he did not so gently plop his body in between me and Tracer and slung is arms around our necks. “Whenever I drink, I get hungry. Kind of like when I smoke weed. Wouldn't you agree?” He hummed out, not looking or sounding like his normal self. He actually looks happy. For once.
“Not wanting food, brother.” I grumbled. I'm trying my best not to get in his face. I'm not sure what has made him act this way, but I wouldn't ruin his good mood for nothing.
“Fuck food.” Tracer spits and chugs the rest of his beer. “I'm out. Fuck.”
“Maybe they have more beer in the fridge. In the kitchen. Right over there." Slade shrugged his right shoulder a little too hard that it made my body jolt around.
“Why would I go into the kitchen when the bar is over there?” Tracer sounds annoyed and a little drunk.
“Just a thought, brother. Beer from the fridge tastes a lot better. Well, anyway. Ima, go find some snatch to play with. Have a good night. Don't forget to eat soon. Soon brothers.” He grunts before standing up and walking away like nothing happened.
So unlike him.
I sat there a minute and stared at his back. That was weird as fuck. He never grins like that. He never jokes around and hell, the touching? He never so much as shook our hands, much less wrapped his arms around us, and he kept repeating the same bullshit.
Food.
Eating.
Kitchen.
Then it hits me. He is trying to tell us something without actually saying. Something or someone is in the kitchen that he wants me to know about, and from his advice eailer I bet it's Ashley.
Finally, my sour mood has lifted, the grey clouds that were fogging up my mind have cleared. I slowly stand, toss my beer and head straight towards the kitchen.
Straight towards the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, no matter how scared I am. I know what I want and it's her.
Only her.
Ashley's P.O. V
Just as we were finishing our cereal, the kitchen door swings open, this time more gentle than when Slade opened. I slowly and dreadfully turn my head towards the door and see that it is Ryver pushing it open, almost looking anxious to walk in.
That's not something I thought I'd ever see. Ryver looking nervous to walk into his kitchen.
Neither Laura nor I acknowledge him as he slowly closes the door behind him. I can feel his eyes on me, and it's taking everything I have inside me to turn away from the sink and towards him.
No, I won't give in. He wanted us to be apart, that's what he is getting.
“Ashley, can we talk?” He mumbled, sounding nervous.
I don't say anything back. We all stand in silence. The only thing that can be heard in that kitchen is the sink water running as I continue to wash our bowls.
He clears his throat and tries again. “ Ashley. Please, I know I don't deserve to ask you for anything right now, but I am asking. Can we please talk, baby?”
Baby.
That one word shoots pain through my heart. I want to say yes, but what if I do and the same thing happens? We talk and tomorrow it goes back to us being apart and Cherry throwing herself all over him and him letting her? I can't keep doing this to myself.
“Go find Cherry.” I whispered and turned off the kitchen sink, dried my hands and tossed the towel down on the counter and headed around him towards the door.
“Cherry? She means nothing to me. Don't you understand that by now, woman?” He snarls at the mention of her name. “Has she said anything? What has she told you?"
“None of your business. Just like it isn't none of mine that she has been wrapped around your dick every night!” I snapped and put my hands on my hips.
I guess we will be having this conversation after all. I know Ryver and I know damn well he isn't just going to let that go.
I should have kept my mouth shut. I just can't help it. This man gets to me. Carved his way into my heart, and now I can't get him out.
“Wrapped around me? What the actual fuck Ashley. You can't think I have been fucking her” He shouts, looking offended.
"All I know, Ryver is it hasn't been me that's been wrapped around you, so.” I shrugged my shoulders and tried to walk around him, but he moved his body and blocked the door.
“No. No more running. We are going to have this conversation. Either here, in my room, or yours. You can pick. It's not relevant where we have it, just as long as we fucking have it.” He growls and folds his arms around his chest and stared down at me.
“Well, as much as I love drama, I don't like this kind of drama, so I'm just going to be thankful that Tracer was too tipsy to understand what Slade said” sighed Laura.
"Don't bet on it, Laura. Tracer is sitting across the room. As soon as you walk out that door, drunk or not, he will see you, and he will want to be having the same conversation.” Ryver tells her gently.
“Great” She snorts as she steps out of the kitchen. The sounds of the music faded once again as the door closes, leaving Ryver and me alone.
“Well? Where would you like to have this conversation, sweetness?” Ryver challenged gently.
“Here.”
“Here?” He asked, sounding a bit disappointed.
“Yes. I need a clear head for whatever type of conversation this is going to turn into, and if I allow you to get us into a bedroom, I already know what will happen.” I whispered and climbed onto the stool, ready to get this conversation over with already just so I can go back to my room.
“Fine. I agree. You and me alone near a bed would not have my head clear.” Ryver agreed and walked closer towards me. “We need to talk about us.”
“No us remember? You made that perfectly clear the other night. You would rather not be with me and I understand, but I can't keep doing this Ryver. Seeing you every day but not being able to be with you like we both crave is killing me. That's why I wanted to move out and into that apartment.” I tell him, not wanting this conversation to turn into an argument. It seems that's all we do lately is argue.
“Just let me talk. Let me try to tell you how I'm feeling and once I'm done, it will be up to you if we are together or not. Deal?” He asked and placed his hand against my right cheek and slid his thumb around my ear, tucking in a strand of wild hair.
“Fine Ryver.” I sighed. “Go ahead. I'm not promising anything other than I will listen to what you have to say.”
“When you first walked into my office, it was like it rocked my world. You don't understand, really, I have never been so attracted to any woman the way I have you. Yes, I find you beautiful. Breathtaking, but it's you. Just you. Your personality. How brave you were facing down your asshole ex. Everything about you, Ashley pulls at my heart. At first, I struggled to hide it, decided to push it aside. I thought that if we fucked, I'd get over my new obsession, but that didn't work. It made me crave more. More from you. More for me. For the first time in my life, I was ready to put my feelings first even if I didn't understand them. Yes, I'm scared that I will hurt you again. I never want to wake up to that again, but I can't be away from you. Slade told me I needed to get my head out of my ass, and that's what I'm doing. I'm all in Ashley. I just want you. I need you to be my old lady. I want you to wear my patch. I want to call you mine for the rest of our lives. Cherry means nothing to me. Yeah, I'm not proud to say this, but yeah, in the past I have slept with a lot of women, but they are not you. None of them held a candle to the light you shine into me, Ashley. You calm down the demon that's pushing to claw its way out. Please. Forgive me and give me another chance. I promise you I will make it up to you every day for the rest of our lives,. All you have to do is say yes.”
“Say yes to what exactly, Ryver?” I asked, shocked that the man in front of me. The President of the Burning Devil's MC is in front of me, opening up his heart and soul for me to better understand him.
“Being my old Lady.” He whispered as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his body. “I love you, Ashley. Please, just give me the chance to prove it to you.”