Warning: This chapter contains some very graphic details. Please proceed with caution.
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You tried so hard to steady your voice when you saw him, but no matter how hard you tried, your voice still gave up on you and cracked when you uttered his name.
"Touya...?"
The said boy looked over at you, turning his head slowly in your direction and finally letting his gaze rest on you. In the blink of an eye, you watched his facial expressions turn from fear and confusion, into horror and disbelief.
It was as if he couldn't believe you were right in front of him.
The two girls you were with smiled brightly as they rushed to call Mr. Sun. While the rest of kids kept staring at Touya as if he was some sort of creature for display.
"Woah, that's Mr. Sleepyhead! I heard he was asleep for 3 whole years!" One of the kids stated as another chimed in, "Isn't he [Name]-chan's older brother?" The first kid looked at him in surprise, "What, really? They don't look alike at all!"
You watched Touya, seeing the cogs in his head turning as he slowly recalled what he previously remembered.
'Sekoto Peak... I was there when I burned up... The fire and... [Name].' Touya's eyes widened when he stared ahead at you.
'Those burns... are my fault... I burned [Name].'
"Where... am I?!" Touya started, but he stopped himself. He grabbed onto his throat, as if he couldn't believe what was coming out of his own mouth. This was his voice? But... there's no way. He recalled his voice; loud and squeaky. He remembered waiting for the day his voice would change, hating how other kids in his class had a more adult-like voice than him. He hated that he sounded like a child, but now...
He sounds so... husky.
He stood eeriely still, like he had just seen a ghost while you just stared at him in shock. But your shock was overtaken by your reasoning when you realized that he had just woken up from a 3 year long coma.
"Touya!" You called out once again, this time in a much more worried tone as you rushed to get to your brother. He was also shaken out of his horrified state, but before you could actually get to him, Mr. Sun was quick to enter the room.
"Oh, my! It seems like you really are awake!" The sunflower headed male began, a growing smile playing on his lips, "Where... am I? Who are you?!"
Mr. Sun smiled as a humored look overtook his features, "Ah, you really are siblings." He turned to you with a small smile, "Your sister here asked the exact same questions when she first woke up."
Touya turned to you, as if the sunflower man calling you his sister reinforced the fact in his frazzled mind that you were indeed, his 5-year old sister that now looked older than before.
And those scars... God, those scars...
"I-I... I have to go back... [Name], we–" Touya was cut off from his ramblings when Mr. Sun spoke up with that same sickly sweet smile on his face, "You can't!" He said in a cheery tone, making your brother turn to him in confusion, "Why not?!"
"Because this is your new home! From now on, you will live here with everyone else, just like your sister, little [Name]-chan! Your very own place under the sun!" The sunflower man smiled kindly, making you finally interject in the situation, "Mr. Sun, I'll talk to him! Please let me handle this." You requested and thankfully, the male obliged to your request.
But it seems like Touya didn't want to listen just yet.
"Talk? What's there to talk about? I-we... We have to go back! We gotta get back home! I'm sure-I'm sure dad was just busy with work, that's why he couldn't visit us, [Name]!" You could see Touya trying to gather his thoughts.
Having woken up from a 3 year long coma, amongst unknown people was difficult, especially for a neglected child like Touya, so you decided to calm him down first, watching as he continued to ramble to himself.
"Yeah... Dad must be pretty worried... Those were some awful things I did... I gotta apologize, to Mom... and-and..."
"Touya!" You laid your hand on his shoulder, as gently as you could, as you tried to pull him out of his psychotic state. The older boy slowly snapped his head in your direction, his eyes widening as more tears pooled in those cerulean eyes of his.
"R-Right... [Name], you... I hurt you... I caused those scars... Because you tried to save me..." You just wrapped your arms around his shoulder, as you helped him up and let him lean against you, "Touya, come on. Let's talk this out, I'm sure you're worried and confused-" you turned to see Mr. Sun still looking at you two so you decided to throw in some flattery, "I know it's hard to believe but this place is much better than home." You watched from the corner of your eye, a satisfied smile growing on Mr. Sun's face.
"W-What?" You didn't give Touya a chance to question any further, and just helped him up to get him to his room. Once you did actually get him there, you sat him down on his bed and he looked around in confusion.
"[Name], what is–" he was cut off by you shushing him and looking around. You checked behind the posters, under the bed and just the area all around for any sort of bugging device. When the entire room turned up clean, you finally looked over to your brother's form and smiled gently to ease him up a bit.
"Relax, Touya. I know you're confused but don't worry..." He just seemed like he grew even more confused, "What do you mean?! We're in an unknown place, with random people taking care of us! We need to get back!"
You tightly held onto his wrist and shot him a serious look, that made the albino sit back down on the bed, "Calm down. It isn't as simple as you think..."
What did you mean by that?
"What..?" You nodded at his inquiry, "We can't just up and leave whenever we want. These people... they aren't as innocent as they look. This orphanage is simply a disguise, for something much more sinister."
He didn't say anything, just watching you further explaining, "I woke up around a year ago. And I've been trying to find out just what is going on, too. But things aren't as simple as they seem. Everyone back home most definitely thinks that both you and I are dead."
That managed to make his blood run cold.
Everyone... thought of him as dead?
You watched the horror unveil on his face and you couldn't help but feel bad. He's just a kid, he doesn't deserve this...
"Look, I know it's hard to accept this. But I need you to remain calm and cool-headed. If you act out, there's no knowing what these people might do to us." It was as if your sentence had awakened a new fear in the boy because he looked at you with such terror that you were almost taken aback.
"Did they... Did they do something... to you?" Oh, so that's why he seemed so scared. He thought that maybe you were speaking from experience.
"No. No, they didn't. Don't worry." Your words helped calm him down, as you watched his shoulders sag after your affirmation, "That's... That's good, okay... Yeah, that's good..." He stumbled over his words and you gave him a moment to collect his thoughts.
For a while, both of you just sat there in silence. You were finally basking in the fact that your brother had finally woken up, while Touya was still trying to figure everything out.
There was just... so much going on.
He didn't even know where to start collecting his thoughts from, everything was just too much. But then, he raised his head to look at you and he felt as if a bit of the weight was lifted off his shoulders.
You were here with him. You were next to him, you had been taking care of him for a whole year, all on your own, surrounded by nothing but strangers. It would have been horrifying for any other kid. You were only 5... no, you're 7 now, right? Well, that didn't matter, what matters is that you took care of him anyways, regardless of your age.
Because... you have always been with him. Even when he was a piece of shit to you, even when he was mean to you... You were the only one who was there for him. You were the only one who put up with his crap, because you cared for him.
The only one... who actually jumped in the fire to save him, something not even his father or any other hero did, even if it was their job. You, the only one who ever cared for him...
So long as you're by his side, it's okay. He can do this.
Seeing how Touya was slowly beginning to calm himself down, you smiled and rubbed his back to ease him up even more, "I'm sure you're tired from waking up, so let's just get you some food first. We'll talk more later on."
If only you had known the horror that would take place, then you would have definitely preferred to talk before...
You should have let Touya completely calm himself...
When you and Touya joined everyone else at the dining table for dinner, practically every kid's eyes were on your older brother.
You wondered if that made him uncomfortable, but if it did, he didn't show it. Instead, he kept his gaze fixed on the wooden surface of the table. Dinner was served by Hanako, who kept on shooting you worried glances. Miyo and Sumika frowned when they saw your normally calm face now morphed in slight worry.
"Well, Touya-kun! Make sure to eat a lot! You're a growing boy, and your body is still recovering. It's your first meal in three years so I hope you enjoy it!" You didn't say any more words to interrupt their interactions, and just said your prayers before starting to eat.
Touya let his eyes drift over to you before following your actions and beginning. His first meal in three years...
Everyone knew that he wouldn't be able to stomach anything too extravagant, so he was given a much more simpler and lighter meal, "Do you like it?" Mr. Sun's questioned was left unanswered. But Touya made no effort to complain, even if he didn't like it.
Thankfully, that was all the interactions those two shared throughout the meal, hence dinner was spent in peace and mindless chattering of the kids. Sometimes, they would add you in their conversations and you would feel Touya flinch at your side whenever he heard someone utter your name.
The real horror came after dinner.
When Mr. Sun finally approached Touya, and you were unable to intervene because the younger kids had hauled you over for help.
All you knew... was that when you rushed out the kitchen after hearing loud screaming... All you saw was blue and red, slowly engulfing everything.
But the most prominent thing... was the body lying just ahead of you, that Mr. Sun was staring at in horror; Kurohiko.
You heard Sumika's horrified cries as she rushed to save her crush, but it was too late. The boy was close to being turned to ash.
Your eyes were wide in horror and you looked up to see Touya, only to find him equally as horrified as you. He turned to you, as if he was hoping you would comfort him but neither of you were given another moment when Mr. Sun screamed at Touya, blaming him for Kurohiko's death.
And that's when everything went downhill.
You can hardly remember what happened in correct detail. You can faintly recall Sumika rushing to attack Touya, calling him a murderer as Miyo and Hanako tried to stop her, but to no avail.
You had small snippets of memory in which you saw how Touya pushed her away in anger, matching her rage as both of them fought. You remembered that Mr. Sun ran away, leaving the kids to deal with this while he didn't give a shit about anyone but himself.
You... remember when you tried to interfere between Sumika and Touya, but the former had ended up using quirk; Distortion. Her quirk had hit you, and all of sudden... You couldn't think straight.
Everything was hell.
Your head was filled with voices, screams garbled up in your headspace. [Sister Name], [Brother Name], Nozomi... Shoto, Fuyumi, Natsuo.
All their voice, all their faces... It was mixed up and distorted in your head. You can't remember if you threw up or not, it's the first time you ever felt this feeling before.
"Why did you kill me?!"
Voices; so many voices.
Screams of children, women, your friends, your comrades... Araya, Shuta... Iyashi? No, Iyashi got to live...
Then why is everyone blaming you?
You saved them, right?
Right?
Your eyes widened when you snapped out of your distorted state to look at the sight in front of you. Touya was panting on the ground, a look of complete horror on his face and he looked close to throwing up his guts.
Your eyes were struggling to focus on a single thing, so your gaze sprawled all over Hanako and Miyo's expressions...
Horror, disgust... Terror.
You followed their line of sight to see what had everyone so terrified. But now you wish you hadn't looked.
Sumika's body, sprawled on the floor.
She was missing her head, blood splattered all around the area in place of it.
Small fragments of what you assumed was her brain, was scattered around like pieces of a broken toy. You knew what you did. You heated up her brain and her head to the point it exploded.
You wished you could throw up. You wished you could act like it would have mentally scarred you, or traumatized you enough to cause you a panic attack.
But it didn't.
Because you've seen this before.
You've killed people before... in this exact same way.
So as much as you wanted to act like you were horrified, you were just confused as to what led this to take place.
But the others didn't share this sentiment. Touya, after gathering his bearings, lunged ahead before another barricade of kids could attack you both, and used what little flames he could muster up to light the entire room on fire.
You don't know how, but he somehow managed to pull you out of that room with him, tugging at your hand and holding onto it, tightly.
That was the only thing grounding you to reality.
You both ran.
You both ran outside the building, and you prayed that this was the end.
But life is never fair to anyone. And life is certainly never fair to you...
Because Miyo had followed you and Touya, a look of rage taking over her previously kind and gentle features, "[NAME]!!"
She screamed in rage, her voice shifting to a growl in such a way to create an effect that would send chills down a grown man's spine. You couldn't help but turn around, ignoring Touya who was tugging at your hand and begging you to leave.
You knew what you had done; you had just murdered a child–murdered Sumika. But you still weren't prepared for the unfathomable amounts of rage the girl held in her eyes. For a moment, you faltered.
You can't fight her...
You've already grown way too attached to her. Curse you and your habit of getting attached to anyone who shows even the least amounts of care for you.
"M-Miyo..." You muttered, but all she did was sneer at you in such abhorrence that it made your heart ache, "Shut the fuck up!! You fucking monster! You killed Sumika–you murdered my friend!! My sister!! I'll fucking kill you, you bitch! You and your son-of-a-bitch brother!"
Miyo spat out with such vitriol that you wished you were taken aback. But you weren't.
Your mind had already accepted your fate.
If Miyo kills you, then it's what you deserve. You swore to yourself even as [Last Name][Name], that the one person that you would never hurt, is a child.
And yet... Look at yourself, you fucking monster.
You killed a child.
Ripped her of the life she had ahead of her.
But still, despite the fact that your mind had already accepted this punishment, your body still fought. You still rolled away to dodge her attack. You wonder why?
Why does your body still believe that it deserves the right to live after stripping a child of their life?
You get your answer in a far more crueler way, when your eyes land on Touya.
Ah... right. Touya.
Touya... Your eyes begin to water at the sight of his cerulean eyes shining in worry, even though he himself had just murdered someone–took their life in one fell swoop.
You can't find it in you to die just yet, when Touya still hasn't made it back home. He's just a child... Kids make mistakes... Not you, but he did. Touya made a mistake, while you didn't. You killed a child, that was a decision you chose to make. Not a mistake.
You can be punished for a wrong decision, but not for a mistake.
Touya deserves to live, and grow up. He deserves to realize that what he did was wrong. But death would never be the way to let him know what he did was wrong. You can't let him die...
And so, you fight.
You don't know where you even find the audacity to lift a finger against her, but you still do it.
Because you're not a warrior, you're a soldier.
Things like morals, ideals, and ambitions are nothing to you. Your sole job is to follow orders, and do what needs to be done. Touya needs to be brought back home–that's what needs to be done.
You don't have to worry about whether it's right or wrong, because that was something you never focused on. Right and wrong is for those that can still redeem themselves. You're too far into this mess to go back.
The only thing you can do, is do what needs to be done.
You fight with everything you have. Like your life is on the line; maybe it is, you wouldn't know.
"[Name]!!" Touya cried out and the only thing you can do for him right now is save what is left of his fucked up sanity, "Get away Touya, I'll be right behind you."
He doesn't listen, because of fucking course, he doesn't.
"For the love of God, Touya! Please, will you just listen to me for once in your goddamn life?!" Hearing the cracks and fervor in your voice, your brother extinguishes whatever words he has bubbling in his throat.
Instead, he's quiet while following your orders: getting the hell away from here. He promises himself that 15 minutes is all he'll give you; fifteen minutes and if he doesn't see you following him, he'll rush back to help you.
With Touya gone, you feel like there's a lot less guilt weighing on your shoulders. You don't have another child to traumatize anymore, and that's good.
But the child in front of you, has already seen the worst of it. She has already gone through the stages of grief, and settles on anger.
It's okay. You should have at least expected this much.
"Miyo... Please listen." You started, dodging another stream of attacks hurling your way. Her quirk was strong, something to do with water. But of course, like you had expected, Miyo didn't listen.
You were not that surprised. But a small part of you hoped that she would.
As you kept dodging each and every attack she threw at you, you noticed how she was getting slower and slower. She didn't have much practice with her quirk, so it's only natural that she would get tired so easily.
Your heart ached, you didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.
As much as you felt like Miyo had the right to hurt you, you also knew that Touya was waiting for you; to come back to him.
And so, with guilty shamelessness, you used your quirk and decreased the temperature of both her arms, and legs. The blonde found herself unable to move as her limbs were nipped by frostbites.
She let out an angry scream, but for the sake of your sanity you tuned it out.
"I'll kill you!! I'll kill you!!" She kept on screaming, almost like a mantra.
Those words... you've heard them before.
They eeriely reminded you of yourself, when you had lost [Sister Name].
"AHHH, GOD DAMN IT! [Sister Name]!! I'll kill him!! I'll kill All for One!!"
You couldn't help the slight tears you had pooling in your eyes, looking at the raging girl in pity and guilt. You put her through this, you don't have the right to cry.
That's what you told yourself, and that's what she said to you too.
"You think just because you cry a few tears, it's okay?! I'll forgive you?! Never!! If I die, then I'll haunt you to the grave! There's no way I'll forgive you for killing my family!!"
Your mind was telling you to shut up, to let her scream out all her frustrations and curse you out as much as she wanted. But your body just wouldn't listen.
Because you found yourself inching closer to her as you started, "I swear I didn't mean to... Her quirk, it–" Do you even have the right to blame Sumika's quirk as the trigger? You're Phlegethon, for crying out loud! You prided yourself over the control you had over your quirk, how can you just blame a child's quirk for murdering her?!
"Shut up!! Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!! You don't get to say anything!!" She cried out, rightfully so.
"He'll kill you!! He'll avenge us!! Our Master will avenge us!" Their master... he was somehow related to All for One, right? Or something along those lines, you can hardly think straight right now with the state your mind is in. All you remember is that he said that he fought you as [Last Name][Name].
Miyo kept on screaming and crying in anger, ultimately pressing her forehead on the ground as she eventually got tired of screaming.
You figured you should probably start to take your leave, knowing that Touya was waiting for you.
But it was the next words of hers that set you off guard.
In a hoarse voice, you heard her murmur quietly. And those words made your eyes snap open in horror.
"Our master... All for One, will kill you. Just like how he killed [Last Name][Name], your ancestor."
You wished you hadn't heard that.
You wished you had left earlier.
But you did. You heard everything, as loud and clear as a bell.
And you couldn't even believe what you had heard, "What...?" Hearing the shock and horror in your voice, Miyo let a wild smirk play on her lips, enjoying the agony painted across your face.
She was relishing in your pain.
"Our master, Shigaraki... killed your ancestor. And he's going to kill you in the same way... He's going to avenge us, because it seems like being a murderer runs through your blood. He'll right this messed up world, and you'll be the first one he starts with... So mark your days–"
You felt your own eyes hollow as she kept on muttering those words.
Yet all you focused on was what she had said in the beginning; All for One... killed your ancestor, which was you, [Last Name][Name].
The Master, the man dubbed as Shigaraki... was All for One, this whole time.
You had been living under the roof of the man you had died trying to kill. And after all this, you find out that he's still alive.
All those years of your life, all that time... wasted. Because in the end, you never got to finish your job, you never killed him.
"Hah... Hahaha!! HAHAHA!! I LOVE THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE, [Name]!!" Miyo had completely lost her mind, but she was the least of your concerns at the moment. You kept your hollowed gaze on her maniacally laughing figure, no longer feeling anything.
The guilt that was previously consuming you, was now overtaken by... indifference.
You stared at the girl lying on the ground, slowly losing her mind. And you could feel your anger seep in. She was laughing... She was laughing at your fucking agony, at your misery.
To think that these are the people you died for?! What a fucking joke! Enji, that sunflower fucker, these damned brats... The hell did you die for? For this?!
For a moment, you stopped thinking as Todoroki [Name], but rather... as [Last Name][Name].
You didn't care about what you had done up until now, but suddenly, Touya's face flashed in front of your eyes, and you snapped back to reality.
Ah... If you leave everything unattended here and return back to Touya, will he also be affected by your actions? If you leave... will he die?
And at that moment, you come to face the harsh and cruel steps you have to take; leave no one behind to speak of your actions.
If Miyo or anyone else from the orphanage speaks of your feats, there's no doubt that All for One will figure out that you used a move previously owned by [Last Name][Name]. He will know that you have your so called ancestor's quirk, and he will hunt you down.
That... will put Touya and the rest of the Todoroki family in a lot more danger.
And thus, you ready yourself for what atrocious acts you are about to commit, "Avenge you? How do you think he's going to do that?" You start as you begin to stalk your way towards the girl on the ground.
I'm sorry... I'm so fucking sorry...
You keep on repeating your apologies in your head, but your facial expressions never give away the guilt you truly feel when you crouch down to Miyo's level, "Isn't it obvious?! He'll kill you once he finds out–"
"And who's going to tell him?" You mutter, cutting her off. Seeing the look in your eyes, Miyo realizes that something is wrong; so very wrong.
"After all... dead men tell no tales."
Forgive me... Miyo.
The blonde girl is given no chance to speak as you place a hand on her head, and before she can even react, her eyes dull and her head falls to the ground in an ominous thud.
Miyo... is dead.
Her death, a result of you raising the temperature of her body to extreme levels. The temperature rise was so quick that before her mind could even process the sudden change, she had already died.
It was a painless death.
You finished her off, simply because you had no other choice. It was either her, or your family.
And now that you have finally reverted back to your old habits, you turn your head up to see the orphanage, half of which still hasn't even caught fire.
Leave no one alive... don't let anyone speak about you.
And so, you use your quirk to engulf the entire building in flames by increasing the temperature of the bricks that constitute it. You hear the screams, but you convince yourself: it was either them or your family.
For a brief moment, you recall what Hanako said to you about your past life.
"Saving those who sang her praises and killing anyone who tried to go against her."
She was right, that's what you are doing now. And it suddenly hits you at that very moment when the entire building is burning up ahead of you, and Miyo's lifeless body is sprawled all over the ground in front of you.
You are no different of a monster than All for One.