Gabriel felt as if everyone had betrayed him.
He stared out at the silent universe, at the planet Earth, but even this breathtaking sight did not bring him peace.
The Ardanians took him back to their mothership, back to the Supreme's chambers, where he had every luxury and no danger of being bitten by rats in his sleep.
Sure, clean clothes, a warm shower and food that didn't come from an expired tin were nice, but that didn't mean he was going to forgive Rag'ell for his betrayal.
He focused on his reflection in the large window into space, and for the first time it occurred to him that he didn't really look anything like his human father. He did, however, resemble his mother, with the same features, dark hair and blue eyes. No doubt that she was indeed his mother.
But who was his real father? And did he even want to know?
He couldn't suppress the feeling of betrayal he now felt towards his mother. She must have known the whole truth and kept it from him. She had been lying all this time.
When she was so determined to keep him from becoming a pilot, wasn't there more to it than fear for his safety? If she had insisted that he take no part in the fight against the Ardanians, was it not because she knew more than she should about their uninvited guests?
Suspicions grew, and Gabriel had no idea what or whom to trust.
Although he was angry with his mother now, he prayed that she was still alive. He wished they were back together so he could talk to her about everything. And finally find out the truth.
He heard the door open, but didn't turn around. He continued to stare out into the silent starspace.
He knew it was Rag'ell. It wasn't the first time since his recapture that the Ardanian had come to him and tried to get him to talk. The last time, some minions in white uniforms had taken a blood sample from him, presumably for further tests. The Supreme tried to explain what was going on, but Gabriel ignored him.
And he was ignoring him now too.
"You have every right to be angry with me," he heard the deep voice say after a moment. "I lied to you, but please understand me. I didn't have much choice."
Gabriel looked at him, studying his unearthly appearance, his sharp features, his strangely coloured eyes and the silvery white hair now carefully braided. Was he attracted to his appearance, perhaps because it was what he unconsciously longed for? An Ardanian?
No, that was silly.
Gabriel could see that Rag'ell resented the current situation. His face reflected every emotion from regret and guilt to love, and it came through loud and clear every time he looked at him.
"Come, Gabriel. I promise no harm will come to you or your friends. But I had to do it. I needed you back here... back with me."
There was a part of Gabriel that trembled with the happiness of being back, urging him to swallow his pride and forgive the silver-haired Ardanian.
Part of him wanted to hug and kiss Rag'ell.
Gabriel tried with all his might to crush that traitorous part of him into the ground and destroy it forever.
The Supreme understood that he would get no response. With a sigh, he walked over to the small table where Rie'na, the young Ardanian girl, had prepared their meal. But he did not take it. He didn't even reach for his favourite fruit, just took a small sip of water.
"I've sent a message to Ardana, we're trying to find your father," he said after a moment in a calm tone. "It shouldn't be hard, he must have been on one of the missions here on Earth and the DNA test will identify him for sure."
"I don't want to know anything about him," Gabriel finally said quietly. "I don't care. My father is the man who raised me. The fact that one of your race once raped my mother does not make him my father."
"We don't know what happened, but I don't think any of the Ardanians raped your mother," Rag'ell argued.
"Because you're all so civilised and don't do this?" The other man snapped at him, his voice trembling with irritation. "Despite all the lofty bullshit, you behave just like humans, succumbing to the same urges as humans. You, yourself, are a shining example of that."
It was a low blow and Gabriel knew it.
It was obvious that the Supreme was taken aback and deeply affected by those words. He stared at the captive in silence for a moment, then nodded and said quietly, "You are right. My behaviour towards you has been inexcusable. I will leave you alone."
With that, he turned towards the door.
But as he walked past, the dark-haired man grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him. Rag'ell looked hopefully into those blue eyes that seemed so lost. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that. Stay here, I don't want to be alone."
Gabriel hated himself for his weakness, but he could take no more. He needed to talk to someone about this, he needed someone's company. And even though the Supreme had lied to him as well, for some reason he was the one Gabriel felt closest to now.
"I understand nothing, nothing at all," the Earthling admitted, looking away as he felt tears welling up in his eyes. "I don't know where I belong, who I am... a human or an Ardanian, a freak of nature, a half-breed who doesn't fit in anywhere."
"Tai'li," the Supreme whispered, taking him into his arms without hesitation. It was the first time Gabriel had heard the expression, but he didn't ask what it meant. "Tai'li," Rag'ell quietly said again, "we'll work this out somehow."
Gabriel knew he shouldn't. Yet it felt so good to hide from the cruel world in Rag'ell's arms, to accept the comfort offered.
He couldn't bring himself to push the Ardanian away, so he wrapped his arms around the other's neck and buried his face in Rag'ell's shoulder, savouring their closeness as tears began to stream down his cheeks.
Gabriel had done exactly what he had forbidden himself to do. Allowed his feelings for Rag'ell to take over. Feelings he knew he had to suppress.
With every ounce of strength he could muster, he tore himself away from Rag'ell and took a step back. He blinked to drive away the stinging tears.
"At least now you know the reason why you were attracted to me," he said.
Averting his blue eyes, he continued bitterly, "You know, I wanted to prove to you that even these apes, as you call humans, are worthy of your attention. I liked the idea that the Supreme of all Ardanians was intrigued by an ordinary human, one of that inferior race. But I'm not an ordinary human, am I? I'm an Ardanian, at least to some extent, and that's why you chose me."
"You're wrong," Rag'ell said, shaking his head disapprovingly, pulling the other man into his arms once more and looking closely into his face.
Gabriel could no longer find the strength to resist.
"I had no idea of your origins. And from the beginning it was your human part that enchanted me," the Supreme whispered, his fingers touching the dark strands, "your black hair, your blue eyes, your wild nature, your hot lips..." his fingers trailed over the soft mouth. "You grew up on Earth, you were raised there, you are much more human than Ardanian."
"You say what I want to hear," Gabriel said, unable to deny that Rag'ell's closeness and words were comforting, but also stirred up those dangerous feelings he didn't want to give in to.
"I say what I see," he argued quietly, before slowly and gently bringing their lips together.
The kiss was beautiful, tender, careful and awakened something deep inside Gabriel. All those forbidden feelings came to the surface, threatening to overwhelm him.
He tangled his fingers in Rag'ell's hair and pulled him closer to deepen their kiss. He longed for the familiar taste of the Ardanian's mouth, the intoxicating sensation that made him forget everything around him.
But it was Gabriel who finally pulled away and broke their kiss, for all of this was beginning to go over his head.
"You said our races were similar," the Supreme spoke softly, not wanting to let go of his lover and continuing to hold him tightly around the waist. "I see now there was more truth in that than I realised. Maybe you were right about other matters as well, maybe we could have done things differently, maybe we could have tried to work with the humans, maybe this war was a mistake. Unfortunately, it's too late to change anything now."
"It's never too late," the Earthling murmured, lifting his glittering eyes to Rag'ell. He couldn't pretend that he didn't long for the silver-haired Ardanian, that he didn't crave his touch, his closeness.
Physical desire, sexual attraction... All this he could justify to himself, but Gabriel could no longer pretend that this was all there was between them.
He pulled the Supreme even closer, liked having that strong body pressed against him, liked being in his embrace. He felt safe there. In the arms of his worst enemy.
"I would like..." the Ardanian whispered, brushing his lips against Gabriel's, "I would like..." he paused again, as if afraid of frightening the other man with his request.
"Kar'ette," the rebel leader uttered with a faint smile. "Surrender to me."
The Supreme grinned, perhaps at the irony, or perhaps at the memory of all that had happened since their fight, which he had won, and yet Gabriel had stubbornly refused to surrender.
"Kar'ette," Gabriel repeated softly, their mouths almost touching.
"Ai'e," the Ardanian gasped before their lips met briefly. "I surrender to you and place myself completely in your hands."
Rag'ell didn't hide the fact that he had fallen in love with Gabriel. He didn't try to hide his feelings, even though he knew Gabriel wouldn't or couldn't reciprocate.
"It seems you triumphed over me after all," Rag'ell admitted bitterly, his eyes glowing with love and devotion for the dark-haired man. "And I lost."
Gabriel pressed his lips tightly against Rag'ell's and closed his eyes at the same time. He didn't want to hear any words of love, he didn't want to stare into those beautiful purple eyes, whose gaze was more revealing than any confession.
He could not bear it.
It was easier to succumb to desire, to leave all those unresolved emotions behind and feel only the passion and longing that consumed him more and more as their tender kiss became fierce and dominating.
Without further hesitation, he pushed the Supreme towards the large bed.
Gabriel didn't want to dwell on any more thoughts, didn't want to think endlessly about his mother who had lied to him, or the father who wasn't really his father, or the confusing relationship he had with Rag'ell.
He needed only to feel the pleasure their mutual kisses and touches were giving him.
It was really different to what it was like with Mathew, different to anyone he had ever been previously. Because... because he loved Rag'ell.
His lips crushed against the Ardanian's as Gabriel tore off the top of the light blue uniform, then dug his fingers almost brutally into the exposed skin of the other man's bare chest until the red marks remained.
He wanted to erase all the treacherous feelings he felt inside, but he couldn't.
Kissing fiercely, he bit the lower lip of the Supreme lying beneath him on the bed, tasting the iron tang of blood. It was almost as if he wanted revenge on Rag'ell for making him feel this way.
Besides, he needed what was about to happen on this bed to be about passion, about lust and wild desire, not love.
However, the silver-haired Ardanian had obviously sensed what Gabriel was going through. He took him in his arms and rolled them both over so that the Earthling was suddenly lying on his back beneath him. He carefully secured Gabriel beneath him, slowing and softening his touches.
Rag'ell looked down at his beloved, those long fingers gently brushing the untamed strands of black hair from Gabriel's face, and when the Earthling tried to kiss him again, Rag'ell held him back, those purple eyes boring into the blue ones.
"Tai'li," he whispered softly, and the dark-haired man noticed a small trickle of blood seeping from the bitten lip. Red Ardanian blood that, whether he liked it or not, also flowed through his veins.
He didn't know if it was the tiny drop of blood or the loving look in the Rag'ell's face that brought tears to his eyes. He didn't want to look like a wimp, but all those emotions finally overwhelmed him.
At that moment Gabriel felt soft lips gently wiping the tears from his skin, delicate fingers caressing his naked chest, he felt every single touch.
The rebel's heart was beating furiously and he was trembling under the onslaught of all these sensations, all these feelings.
Unable to hold it in any longer, Gabriel whispered words in his mother tongue confirming that he too had lost this battle:
"I love you."