***
He is a workaholic, completely opposite of mine, not that I don't like to work, I do but more on the contrary side of healthy work where I hate taking work to home and want my home as a cozy place for myself, my safety net since a long time now.
My parents used to be my safety nets. I don't know if our relationships really changed after my rebellious nature in my teens but since I moved to New York from Seattle.
I do miss them sometimes.
Say that to my teen self and it will throw me to the floor saying that was the farthest effort, missing them, she could take for them.
I haven't talked to Mom since I moved against her decision. If I would have been still in contact with her, I am sure that she would be quite pushy for me to get married as I have been alone for a long time now, since my breakup with so called prom partner josh, according to her.
She doesnt know I was attracted to other men later in my life.
I never knew if I ever liked Josh, I just went with the conformity to never say no, which soon I learned that if you are someone who cannot say no then many people in this world are too stupid to identify that unassertive and going to use you to the hell of an eternity so....
Rule number one ladies: Be assertive and communicate your feelings.
I am glad soon after the high school prom after dating Josh for six months as we went for the same college with bachelors in writing, I broke up with him in our college library.
Josh is a nice guy, popular and funny but just I never thought about him in the same way which just made me difficult to love him and if loving someone seems like a task, it's not love.
It's more of a string attached to that person which seems a little too confrontational to cut it off. But I am glad I did it.
But of course, after breaking up with him, I never dated anyone seriously, because they didn't want that and I was fine being treated as a fling but gradually that brutally harmed my self-esteem until I didnt trust in people really quick.
Conclusion: I am afraid to date now.
Every date I went too either turned into a complete disaster from my side over those mens sexist remarks or a complete or an utter failure for a long-lasting relationship.
But now?
I feel I can say that my stars the constellation of my zodiac sign are all re-aligned as I can feel some spark between me and Cooper, not that I can sense that spark among cooper and others as well because of course he treats every one of us equally.
Definitely not an asshole. No sarcasm intended. Literally.
But since the first day he has arrived got me something in my stomach the sizzling heat I feel in my body when he comes near me with a close proximity to take files which rests on the desk behind my back the Gucci perfume he applies, he is expensive.
The other time when he was wearing glasses, I completely forgot to blink which made him crack and he just shook his head and went back to work as if nothing happened.
I would have labelled him as a creep if I were in his place .
I am not sure that he knows about my not so old crush for him but soon I am going to let him know but I dont want to approach him
No, I can't. All the life lessons I got my twenty-five years of my life, approaching first is an over statement for me because I hate rejection.
Let's all agree, behind all those philosophical talks nobody likes rejection.
***
It has been almost a month and my feelings for him hasn't vanished.
Cooper is attractive but cooper is considerate as well.
Pretty well late summers and yet it's heat prevails, thanks global warming.
I need to ask cooper out.
I wore my usual black tank top along with a blazer and A line pants and with Coffee Coloured lipstick, I swear it goes so well with my tan skin with a simple necklace and head to ask cooper out for lunch.
Aim less, less disappointment.
He is standing tall in his cabin working on his desk. He looks handsome OH MY GOD, I might just pass out how freaking hot he is in that corporate suit.
Oh, my my. I head to his cabin full of enthusiasm and confidence.
Alessia you can do it. Yes baby.
I slammed open his cabin door and looked at him straight. Wait, I forgot to knock.
Realisation hit me when he just froze looking at me.
“I, I...I am so sorry, I thought I would knock but I just thought I thought... I..,” I stammered heavily with my visible pounding chest for air.
“It's alright, what happened, anything you need,” he said as if nothing happened.
"You" I said without thinking for a second. Cheesy ass of mine.
He blinked twice to let me know he doesnt understand a thing, I caught myself off guard, lovely start.
“You, you, are you free for lunch? I was thinking if we can head to the nearby restaurant for lunch, if if ..." he just stared at me, that made me nervous, "if...If you are free of course,”
He looked bewildered and he nodded. “Sure, you can join us for lunch.”
I squeezed happily inside but I know how to keep a poker face, so I just grinned with a forced smile and head out of the cabin.
Phew, it was a success.
Wait! Did he just said, Join...Us?
What does he mean is it a colleague or someone? He is single as far as I know with my super spying skills.
But what is he talking about when he says, Join us?
I thought to ask him yet back again, but I guess some level of patience could be fruitful.
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