(i do not like the new mobile update. Also, this book is coming to an end soon. I'll continue INSANITY once ASYLUM is complete. Thank you)
S I M O N E
The nightmares came back. Most likely the following night after Kai's death. They hit me like a truck, slamming me with blood and gore. As if I could handle it? As if seeing him die wasn't enough the first time? Now I'm forced to watch Kai die not once, but two, three, fifteen times. This isn't a good experience. It's hard to fall asleep when I know exactly what is on the other side waiting.
It's been two days since the interrogation. It feels like it's been a year. The anticipation for Agent Cage's answers has become all too much. Cage and Nick have kept in touch; which is anything but good. Nick tried convincing them, for my dad's sake. But they don't care. They want me locked behind bars, or stuffed in a room where the walls are made from pillows.
I agree that I'm somewhat a nuisance to the people around me, but I'm not killing anyone. The only thing that I am capable of doing right now is imagining how I would kill Nick. Childhood friend or not, the rage I've kept locked up inside me has boiled over.
Today I wake from another nightmare. It's early, so the sun hasn't had much time to move higher up into the sky. My sheets cling to my body, letting me know that I've clearly been sweating. There's no doubt that I yelled in my sleep either. There's no telling what I'll do during a vivid dream or nightmare. I'm impulsive and unpredictable that way.
My feet find the wood floor and it takes everything in me to fully wake up. My will power is low, it always has been. After Kai, well, after Nick killed him I can't focus. My desire to do things was left in that rusty old pick-up truck.
My sleepy feet manage to drag me down the stairs. I'm not much of a morning person, so when Dad sees me his eyes widen and he clearly looks surprised. I must've interrupted his morning coffee and glance at today's newspaper. "Good morning, Simone. Coffee?"
"I'm good." I take a seat across from him at the dinner table. "Where is Nick?"
"He wanted the day off. Claimed he needed...space? I could imagine we get suffocating at times." He scans the paper, turning the page noisily.
I hum, nodding in agreement. I'm quite happy I get a break from him. He's just a constant reminder.
"When he called me this morning, he told me something." Dad sighs, not in the best of moods. I couldn't even expect him to be happy anymore, after all I've done and what he's been through.
"What did he tell you?" I fold my hands together, ignoring the empty pain in my stomach. I'm not hungry.
It seems I'm having trouble convincing my stomach that. The excuses might work in my mind, but not for my body.
"He told me that Agent Cage requested to take your case to court. It seems that you helped Malachai with his crimes. They want to arrest you for Accessory, and ignoring and failing to report a crime." Dad sets his papers down and avoids looking at me, his terrible daughter.
"I'm going to court?" I choke, the nervous butterflies swarming about in my stomach.
"These are very serious charges, Simone. We could be looking at five to ten years here. Your court date is on friday." Dad pushes.
I take a minute to absorb the information. It couldn't be that bad, could it? Five years isn't that much. I'd be out when I'm twenty-four years old, and could continue my life.
"But that's not all, Simone." Dad looks down, then straight at me. Tears brim his eyes but don't dare fall. "You're nineteen now. An adult." He takes a long pause.
"So?" My eyebrows scrunch together in annoyance, wishing he could just get to the point.
"And I think it would be smartest to start considering finding another place to live."
"Are you kicking me out?" I hiss, not bothering to stop the look of betrayal plastered across my face.
"N-no I just think you should start taking responsibility-" he doesn't sound to sure.
"Is it because of Kai? Is it because you think I'm some sort of psycho?" I am.
Dad rolled his eyes, clearly not happy with me at the moment. Crumbs from his piece of toast cling to his beard, falling down onto the table below. I've never thought that I could be kicked out of my own home before. I always just assumed that I'd never leaved until college. But here I am, nineteen years old and barely graduating High School. "I just think it is time for you to create your own path, and take responsibility so in the future, things like this wont happen."
"I am pretty sure that if someone wants to kidnap me, they will. It can't possibly be my fault-" I try to push the blame on someone else besides me. I'm trying to blame Kai. After all he is dead. He isn't here to disagree with me.
"It is your fault, Simone. You could have came to me for help, or even Nick. You could have just told someone. They say Malachai was in town for a while before he was sighted. I'm guessing he made his presence known. You didn't want help. You figured you could do this all on your own. So since you figured you could be so independent, I thought it would be nice to show you what true independence is really like." Immediately I judge his words-deeming them quite unfair.
"So you're making me leave because I couldn't protect myself from being kidnapped?"
Dad shakes his head angrily, frustrated with me. "I think you should get out of this house. You should get an apartment and pay for rent. Get a job in the future, maybe? You're nineteen. I'm not making you leave because you couldn't protect yourself. I'm making you leave because you thought you could do this alone."
"Nice excuse. You just want me gone. You want me out of your life before they put me in jail. This is a punishment." I seethe, quite angry with him at the moment. Does he even understand what I have been through? How could he? He was never kidnapped like this. He never attracted a famous sociopath and spent almost a month with said sociopath in a red truck. No, he can't possibly imagine my pain.
Dad falls silent. Somehow I thought he could understand what I have been through. While with Kai all I wanted was to be back here with my family. I wanted to be back in Dad's arms and call myself safe once more. But we always want what we cant have, don't we? It's only natural to wish the alternative. But now that I've been here, all I want to do is go back to that red truck and sink into its poofy leather seats once more.
"I see how it is, Dad. I was never your daughter, was I? You're just mad I couldn't fill the gap that Marcela opened long ago. Well newsflash. I never was Emily, and I never will be. She is gone. About time you accepted that." No remorse, none. Bringing up his dead wife and daughter was pushing it. But the reaction I get is even more thrilling.
"I want you out by Saturday night." That is the day after my court date.
"Okay. Too bad I'll already be gone." I bite the inside of my lip before turning and heading up the stairs. Not looking back, not once.
Sometimes I wish that school didn't exist anymore. Me being a senior just made me more excited to leave for the summer. Now that I have a court date, I just wish I could stop time. I know that summer will bring jail time. Agent Cage is a determined man, and I pissed him off. There's no way I can just sit here and wish it all away. It is happening. Agent Cage knows what questions will anger me. He knows if he plays the Stockholm syndrome card, he'll have any judge wrapped around his fingers. He knows he can get away with asking questions about Kai. Questions that can make me tick, and cause me to answer.
What do I have to defend myself? I could convince the judge that if I told anyone, Kai would've killed me. I'm not sure if it's true but the judge doesn't know that. Agent Cage doesn't know that either.
Once I am upstairs I throw on a pair of skinny jeans, ones with pockets. They're not as tight as they used to be. I can't help that, though. I'm glad I am still alive. Kai could have gave me nothing and starved me, but he didn't. We ate, but traveling on the run spares little time for McDonald's.
Pushing those thoughts aside, I pull on a plain black long sleeve sweater and tie my hair up in a messy pony-tail. I like the look. I'm not trying to look like a slob, and the outcome isn't that bad. For the first time in a long time I like what I see in the mirror. I have time to put a little make-up on, but I don't really care for that sort of thing.
But something I do surprises me. I've been trying to blend in and fall into my own habits once again, but I don't even think twice before sliding my green contacts in and blinking three times to even them out. I sure as hell didn't expect a tear to fall, but one did. Emotions flood through me when I look at myself in the mirror. Memories of worn down motel rooms and smelly gas stations float to mind. I don't even push them back. I smile.
It is the first time I have smiled in a while. It is true, and genuine.
My backpack strap slides perfectly into the crook between my shoulder blades as I exit the bathroom. I make my way down the steps, grabbing my black army boots and sliding them over the tight jeans. But before I can walk out the door, my arm swings back and grabs my black-rimmed glasses off the counter. I don't need them. My vision is good. But that isn't why I am wearing them after all.
The bus passes by, slowing down towards the end of my long driveway. I wave it off, deciding to walk anyway. My fingers dip into the pocket of my backpack to pull out a set of earbuds and my old phone.
Teenagers by My Chemical Romance blares, drowning every single other noise out. I whisper the lyrics, smiling. My music taste hasn't changed much. The rock bands that Kai listened to are still forever embedded into my brain. But I have a feeling that if I listened to them, they would all be way too much.
My walk consists of kicking stones at cars, and walking from side to side of the white line by the road. It is a long walk. In fact, I am not even surprised that I am late for my classes. But I don't walk any faster, and I don't feel like rushing to beat the bell. Instead I just walk into first hour, wincing as the teacher points me out.
"Miss Alexander, you're thirty minutes late. Would you like to explain?"
"No, not really. And it's Miss Braxton, by the way." I sit in the back, quite surprised no one is sitting there at the moment.
Students snicker, probably just waiting for something exciting to happen in this god awful class. At this point they could be amused by anything. The teacher nods, probably not wanting to talk to the Sheriff about me in the future.
At lunch I join Ethan, Avalon, and Nakota. The girls are quiet, and trust me, I notice the fact that they all sit across from me. Not beside me, no. Ethan sits across from me, then Nakota, and Avalon. Everyone is just ignoring me, trying to put space between me and them. Everyone but one person.
"Hey, Pyro." I turn towards the voice. The source of the voice clearly makes Ethan uncomfortable. So I am not very surprised when I see Aaron.
"Evening, Asshat." I say loud enough, officially down to zero fucks. "Which nerd did you ask to come up with that one?"
His face scrunched, clearly not understanding my humor. Eventually he finds something to say. "Where is pretty boy?"
"Pretty boy? I didn't know you played for that team, Aaron." I smirked, making him frown and take a step closer.
"You're quite brave considering he isn't here to back you up."
"I am not afraid to fight you, Aaron. You might have the biceps and football background. But fighting isn't all about strength." I rise to my feet, barely half Aaron's height.
"Then what is it about?"
"Will."
He chuckles. "You think you are the big shot, is that it? You come back and expect everyone to kneel in front of you and pity you. I was kicked off the team, you bitch!" He clenches his teeth to the point where they might crack.
"Shouldn't have shoved me." I shrug it off with a smirk.
"You know, I do feel bad for you. I feel bad that everyone has abandoned you. But maybe you'd still have a family if you hadn't barbecued them."
Kill him. Kai says, more like whispers, in the back of my mind. I want to, everything in me seems to agree.
"Sim, don't do it." It's Ethan, pulling me back. He gets up from his seat, trying to calm me with his small voice. I'm not sure what does it, but I snap back to reality and sit back down.
Even though he's been ignoring me, I find myself growing calmer knowing I have someone to back me up. Even though I could be arrested in the future, Ethan hasn't given up on me.
Aaron grunts, clearly pleased with himself. I settle down back in my seat, watching as Aaron turns his back.
Later. That's a promise.