The edges of sleep slowly fade as I feel warmth wrapped around me, my blanket feels like a loving embrace as I lie, my body slowly waking up. Only it isn't a blanket, an arm is wrapped around my waist with a body behind me and someone holding my hand. I blink open my eyes and see Alvaryn's sleeping face on the pillow beside me, his hand is holding mine between our pillows and our legs are somehow twisted together.
I remember late last night, after they had come back from visiting the Queen. We had all been so tired but each just as reluctant to leave. I had asked them to stay, scared to turn off the lights and be alone, scared of what I would see in the dark.
I still hadn't spoken about everything I had seen and experienced, everything they had told me were just nightmares but had felt so real I could almost feel the memory of them on my skin. I didn't know if they would fade over time but I hoped they would.
I thought it might have been strange, to have them in my bed, but somehow it wasn't, with Aeris on one side and Alvaryn on the other I had fallen asleep feeling safer than I had in a long time.
I think back to the selection, of what I can remember, of the butterflies swarming my stomach, my heart racing in my chest. I remember listening to the King and trying to pay attention while stealing looks at Alvaryn and Aeris and their smiles in return. We truly had no idea what would happen, only hopes and mine were not as optimistic as theirs were. Still I held onto the small amount of hope I had, hope that I wouldn't have to leave, that I could stay here with them, with both of them.
And then Demwyn had stood up in front of his father and began speaking, he stood tall and strong, each word confident and sure, he had just been about to say the words and choose his future wife when that blood curdling scream filled the hall and everything stopped.
I remember being stunned, stood still as I looked at the Queen gripping her head. Alvaryn and Aeris looked just as shocked and scared, I remember her voice was cold and dark and her hands and arms turning black.
"Dearest" Aeris mumbles behind me, his voice rough with sleep, arm tightening at my waist. "Are you alright, I can hear your heart beating like crazy."
"Just remembering." I whisper, finding his arm under the blanket with my free hand and placing it over his. He pulls me closer, his chest pressed against my back as he kisses the back of my head.
"You have nothing to be afraid of dearest, because I will never let you out of my sight again."
"We will never let you out of our sight again." Alvaryn says quietly, he reaches his hand up and places his palm on my cheek, smoothing his thumb back and forth. "Did you have any nightmares?"
I shake my head.
"Good, that must mean that our magic is working and the nightmares are gone." He says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"What does it mean though, you kind of explained what you did, or what you and the healer did, but what does it mean for me? You say the magic is working, like it is still inside me, right now?" I ask softly as his thumb continues to caress my cheek.
He nods slowly. "Quirin explained it as best he could before we agreed, but in all honesty we were both desperate and gave it little thought. When he said there was a way to save you, that it was either that or leave you to the nightmares...well we didn't have to think long."
"I would have been stuck in the nightmares forever?" I ask in fear, already feeling their dark fingers drawing me back in. Aeris' arm tightens around me again.
"You're scaring her." He mumbles into my hair.
"I'm just telling her the truth." Alvaryn replies. "Yes, you would have been stuck in the nightmares, but Quirin said your mind wouldn't have lasted long, that they would destroy everything."
"Now she's terrified, well done!" Aeris snaps, leaning up behind me. "It's ok, we stopped it from happening."
"So you both agreed to this ancient ritual that neither of you had heard of before then to stop the nightmares from destroying my mind without giving it any real thought or consideration?" I ask, partly in disbelief and partly in anger.
"We were given two options Dae, we chose the one where you lived, it was an easy decision." Alvaryn answers.
"But you had to give up a piece of your magic, what if something went wrong, what if he took too much, what if it meant you lost your magic or damaged it in some way? You both risked your lives on something that you didn't even know would work!" I turn on my back, forcing Aeris to let me go and give me space.
I sit up against the headboard and look at both of them as they sit up. Alvaryn runs a hand through his hair while Aeris runs his hands over his face and shakes his head.
"Daella, of course we did!" He says looking at me. "You would have been left to die in one of the most horrific ways imaginable. We were given a choice to help save you, it didn't matter that Quirin didn't know if it would work or not, it didn't matter that I had to give up a piece of my magic, I gave it up willingly and I would do it again, even if I didn't know you would wake up. Even just knowing there was a chance that you would wake up was more than enough for me to give up a piece of myself."
"And the same goes for me, it was our choice to give you a part of ourselves, and I don't regret it for a second." Alvaryn agrees quickly. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I knew I didn't do everything possible to save you."
I stare at my hands in my lap, hearing their words, their conviction. They risked so much for me, committing to something that was banned in their kingdom for me. I feel the tears fill my eyes before the first one falls, sliding down my cheek.
"I was so scared, it felt so real, like every one of my worst thoughts and fears had come to life and I was completely alone, stuck inside of them." I sob quietly, they each take one of my hands. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, truly, you just both risked so much for me, and the thought of something happening to either of you..."
Aeris takes my face in his hands, making me look up at him, he wipes the tears away with his thumbs gently.
"I called you Daylight when you woke up and it's the truest thing I have ever said in my life. You are my Daylight, amongst all the darkness this world can surround you with, you are bright and good and bring pure blindingly good light into my life. Don't doubt for a second that I wouldn't do whatever was necessary to keep you safe, even if it meant giving up every single drop of my magic, I would, and I would be happy to do it. If it meant that you would be safe, that I could still have you at my side, then I will do whatever is asked of me, regardless of the consequences." He presses his lips to my forehead and wraps his arms around me while my free arm wraps around his back, my finger gripping his shirt as I hold onto him.
He pulls back, wiping another tear away.
"Now you dearest," He says tapping the tip of my nose with his finger. "are just going to have to accept that I am in love with you and will always do whatever is needed to keep you safe."
I nod, smiling as I wipe my face.
"Dae," Alvaryn says softly, squeezing my hand as I turn to him. "you are the first thing that has ever made me stop and question everything I believed in and made me look at the world and those around me in a completely different light. At first it was infuriating." He smirks. "I had been so sure of myself and everything I had read and studied had always supported all of my beliefs and values, but then you came along, and you changed everything, without even trying. You were angry and terrified and yet still held onto who you were with everything you had, you didn't let anyone change you or your mind. That is one of the things I love most about you, that despite everything, you were strong and determined and you were able to open my eyes and my mind to a new way of thinking and for that I will be eternally grateful. You have given me so much in such a short amount of time and I couldn't bear the thought of not having more time with you. I don't want just a few weeks or months with you Dae, I want years with you, and the thought of not getting that made my decision the easiest one I have ever made. Yes there was risk, there will always be risks or consequences but when it comes to you none of those matter." He takes my face in his hands and kisses my forehead before wrapping his arms around me, I wrap my free arm around him, gripping onto his shoulder as I breathe in his scent.
He pulls back slowly and smiles down at me, I run my hands over my face and tuck my hair behind my ears. My stomach grumbles quietly and Aeris laughs.
"It's my turn to go and get something to eat." He says before kissing my cheek and shuffling off the bed. "I'll let your servants know your awake." He says after pulling on his boots and heading out the door.
I lean back into the headboard and feel Alvaryn wrap his arm around my shoulder, I lean into him, resting my head against his chest. He kisses the top of my head.
"I meant what I said Dae," He says quietly.
"Which part?" I ask, looking up at him.
His hand cups my cheek as he looks into my eyes, bright silver pools look back at me and I feel myself being drawn into their beauty.
"All of it, but more specifically, I mean I don't want just a few weeks or months with you, I want years. I haven't had enough time with you, not nearly enough, there is so much more I want to do with you and experience with you and show you. I want to know every single part of you. I want you to tell me about your childhood and your family, I want to know your favourite songs and what games you used to play when you were younger. There is so much more that I haven't learnt about you yet and while I know I will never be ready to let you go, just knowing that I was so close to losing you, so soon, I couldn't do it. I couldn't let you leave. You are the most amazing thing I have gotten to know and I barely know anything about you, giving you a piece of myself, accepting the risks and consequences, my mind was made up before I even had time to consider it. It knew that I would do whatever it takes to have more time with you, it knew that I would do whatever it takes to keep you safe."
I blink back my tears as I reach out, taking his face in my hand I pull him closer. His lips touch mine, kissing me so gently and sweetly as his arm tightens around me, pulling me closer.
He pulls back slowly, I hold onto his face, feeling the strong cheekbone under my thumb and the subtle stubble under my palm.
"Thank you, thank you for risking so much for me, for not just accepting my fate and leaving me in those nightmares." I say resting my head against his chest as he pulls me closer.
"Always."