A familiar three knocks sounded at Akya's door. She put the trinket she was playing with down onto her dresser as a smile made its way onto her face. She then walked to the door, greeted with a face she hadn't seen since Geonosis, as he was taken straight to the medical bay and was allowed no visitors. Even after that, he was kept busy for a while— now, it had been fourteen rotations, two weeks, since she'd last seen him on Geonosis. Akya assumed they were fitting him for a prosthetic, which took a long time to develop.
"Anakin," she said, her smile turning into a toothy grin.
"Take a look, Akya," he said, holding up his right arm. The sleeve of his robe fell down to his elbow and the entirety of the Padawan's new mechanical arm was revealed. It was made of slim, light pieces of metal along with exposed wire and what Akya knew were neural transmitters from his fingers all the way to where the arm connected to his elbow. Anakin flexed his fingers slowly, looking from the hand and then to her. "They let me assist in the design."
"Can you feel?"
"Well enough," he said, holding out his hand for her to take. She did so, running her finger over his dark metal palm. "They said it would become more sensitive as time went on. Something about... neuron connection."
"That makes sense." She pulled him into the room by his hand and he smiled, walking toward her.. "Come, sit," she said. Akya then took a couple more steps toward her bed and they sat down. Their silence was a bantha in the room, ignoring their actions from the weeks before, as well at their apparent feelings for each other. Akya wasn't really sure how to start the conversation, even though she knew she had to.
"It's wonderful to see you again," she said, slight awkwardness in her voice. She traced circles on his palm, not looking up at him.
"Akya, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you," he said, his voice low as if telling a secret. Akya looked up at him, unsure what to say. "And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony." He put his other hand on top of hers. He still had the same warmth. "The closer I get to you, the worse it gets."
Akya tried to hide the longing that painted her face. But it was no use.
"The thought of not being with you.... I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar." Akya looked down at their hands. "You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything that you ask."
Akya took a deep breath. She used the hand not holding onto Anakin's to wipe an oncoming tear from her eye, keeping it from rolling down her cheek. She couldn't have this. She couldn't. And now, of all times, Anakin comes to her room and confesses these great feelings, when she is at her most vulnerable. She's missed his company dearly. Perhaps she's thought about him in just the same way, and she was too afraid to say anything. It was wrong for her to feel this way. Wasn't it?
"If you're suffering as much as I am, please, tell me," said Anakin, both fear and longing riddled in his glassy eyes.
"You said you'd do anything," she said, finally looking up. "Did you mean it?"
"Anything," he nodded, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
Akya looked down at their hands once again, then back up at his stormy blue eyes. "Then kiss me, Anakin. Kiss me, and don't stop."
Anakin took his hand off of Akya's. He then put his left hand onto her cheek and held it, their faces magnetically drawn to one another. Then their lips interlocked for the first time in ages, and it was bliss. He did as she asked, and didn't stop for a very long time.
— ★ ✰ ☆ —
Akya and Anakin laid on their backs as they stared up at the ceiling. Their hair was disheveled and their clothes were now in an unkempt position, mainly because of their carelessness and indifference to anything else when entangled with each other. Both of them were smiling, and their hands were intertwined.
"I'd say that that can never happen again," began Akya, "but I know it will. I want it to."
"We can't help what we feel, Akya."
Akya's smile faded off of her face. "And yet we're told it's wrong to feel it." Anakin's smile mirrored hers.
He sighed.
"What are we going to do, Ani?" she said, turning her head to face him. "There's a war starting. You're going to be a Jedi Knight soon, and they'll ship you out to who knows where so you can fight this war. And I'm going to be here, finishing my training, and we'll never see each other again."
"Don't speak like that, Akya." He still stared up at the ceiling, so Akya turned her head back and did the same.
"But it's true," she said. "You could die."
"I'm not going to. And we will see each other again. I'll come back to the temple often. I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Anakin."
"But those are the best kind."
Akya sat up. She sighed quickly, then stood up to fix her robes, flattening the folds and putting the sleeves back onto her shoulder. Behind her, Anakin finally sat up, placing his hands into his lap.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Akya turned to him with a look that said, Seriously? "Everything, Anakin," she answered. "All of it. There is a reason Jedi are not allowed to love like this, Ani. Love leads to attachment. Attachment leads to fear of loss. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to—"
"I know," said Anakin hurriedly, cutting her off. "I've heard it all before."
"Then you know this isn't right."
"How can feelings be wrong?" He tilted his head.
"This won't last," she said, ignoring him. She couldn't look him in his eyes because then she would think about how it would be when he was gone, and she would start missing him prematurely. She couldn't have that. "I'm conflicted, Anakin. Like, you, I'm in agony. I know this is wrong. And yet, I cannot stop feeling the way that I do when I'm around you. And I never want it to stop. I wish for your touch every day when I am without you. But war is coming, and we are going to be torn apart whether we like it or not."
"I don't care, Akya."
"You really don't care about any of it?" She finally turned to look at him. "You don't care that if we tune out the universe, someone will eventually find out? That our carelessness will be our end?"
"We're not careless," he said. "It doesn't have to be that way. We can hide it."
"Okay, we hide it. Now we're living a life of lies. Then what?"
Anakin looked down at his lap.
"This was a mistake," she said, shaking her head. "I long for you every night when I go to sleep, Anakin. I can't stop it. But this is all a big mistake."
"No, it's not," he said. "Don't you want this?"
"Of course I do, Ani!" she said suddenly. The quick outburst scared both Anakin and herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Of course I do," she repeated, calmer. "I just... Is this really possible?"
"It's all possible. What matters is if you do it or not." Anakin stood up, approaching Akya. He took her hands into his and held them gently, looking straight into her dark brown eyes.
"Then promise me something, Anakin," she said. "Promise me we won't get attached. To at least keep to some of the Code."
"Akya, I don't know—"
"Please."
Anakin sighed. "No attachments," he nodded.
Akya smiled. She let go of his hands and threw her arms over his shoulders and he put his around her waist, holding her close. She felt his warmth and it comforted her. Their attraction was dangerously blinding, and in that moment, Akya forgot about all her troubles. She knew about the risks that came with this relationship, and how it blinded her— it's why she was so afraid— but in that moment, like Anakin, she didn't really care.
a.n.:
screaming crying throwing up bawling laughing tearing up yelling shouting i actually love them so much. and don't you even about ani's monologue. yes it is the same one that was in aotc and it's not cringy or stupid it's romantic and so longing and ughhhhh the feelings
also this is the last chapter in this episode! I'm so excited to give you the clone wars one it's so good bc i get to do whatever I want. they get up to so much stuff. plus we see ahsoka!
anyway, don't forget to vote ♡
molly