Still adjusting to the changes your body goes through over the course of the holidays, you consult with Atticus, who although angered by his friends' recklessness and endangerment of you, does not let his emotions get in the way and helps you with some cravings you start having as well as teaches you a few tricks to focus your mind.
However, other than helping you as you struggle through the process, he does not converse with you or anyone else. During class, as Alex tells you, Atticus focusses on books, pays attention, but at the same time cannot hear a word they say, and later they cannot find him as he has vanished the moment he steps through the classroom door.
Alone in your struggle, you ask Natty a few more questions about her childhood, hinting at her transformation into an animagus, and she tells you how her father helped her the entire way, keeping an eye out as sometimes, she would have episodes where she could not remember were she had been. Other days would feel as if two people lived inside her, but the family tradition asked for it. At your troubled face, she suggests a few herbs to help you calm, noticing a change in your behaviour.
"I will try it thank you Natty"
"Any time, Salem. Just tell me if there is something you need. It sounds like you are debating whether to become an animagus or not, but may I suggest to speak to my mother about it. The process is tedious and dangerous if you are on your own. It can cause a lot of harm, and if you leave out a step or do not follow it perfectly it can destroy you" Patting you on the back, Natty walks with you to the library to pick out a few books, marks the pages she deems useful, and hands them to you. "These will help, and if you decide to become an animagus, although headmaster Black has forbidden it, I'd be delighted to help"
***
With all information you can gather from the books, you sit in silence on top of the Owlery, the calm wind blowing against your back. Page after page, your fingers fly over the letters studying the spells that can ease pain or sharpen focus, potions, herbs, more and more you are drawn into the book, the cold wind tearing on your back, but a sharp pain rises from within your chest, tearing on your muscles that contract causing you to fall to the ground, writhing in pain as you struggle to breathe.
Owls hoot as they fly by, landing on the stone around to watch your aching body twist in pain. Cracking, popping, your body starts to distort when a sudden heat rises from your chest, streams through your body to your fingertips and crawls across your skin.
Your eyes begin to burn, but as you close them and focus, like the book tells you, the pain lessens until your body cools down. The aching bones calm. Strings of red light linger in the air around, small sparks shooting off your body as you ruffle through your hair and sit still, the rustling of leaves from nearby trees in your ear, the smell of fresh air, the stream that rushes along the Owlery and into the black lake close to the castle.
Blood runs from your nostril, the fine red lines forming on your lips as the blood seeps into the small creases. A metallic taste washes over your tongue as it wipes the blood, leaving a dark red stain under your nose that finds itself on your sleeve.
With a deep breath, you stare at the moon above, crescent, only a few more days until the full moon. A tear rolls over your cheek as you exhale and let the last bit of pain drain from your body.
***
After another full moon, Atticus appears, dishevelled, the hair hanging over his shoulders, dull and felted, knots of moss and dirt stuck in it. The clothes torn, seams ripped and the arms covered in scratches and gashes that he refuses to let you heal, he drops onto his bed, shutting the door into Alec's face. It takes him some time, not a word about where he has been or what has happened, but when he learns of Alec's invitation to the RoR, his eyes glow dark and before you can say anything, he has gripped Alec tight and drags him out of the common room.
You run after them, but cannot see Alec anywhere, not even Atticus, the long clack cloak flying behind him as he spins, but wherever you look, nothing seems out of place. With Akira to your left, you argue about Alec's intentions when Atticus returns, alone, but he refuses to listen and demands you do not pursue this path any further.
"It's too dangerous" he hisses pressing you against the wall, "You can barely control your powers as is, now you want to channel all your energy into something that could get you killed?"
"What is the matter with you? You are the one that keeps disappearing and comes back torn up. Care to explain that?"
His tired eyes lingering on you, Atticus leans closer, a sigh rolling over his lips. "Family business, none of your concern"
"Of course, Salem you tell, but not us" Alec rolls his eyes, leant against the door frame while Atticus releases you from his grasp and steps back, the pale fingers ruffling through the knotted hair he has tried to brush out, but no matter how often he goes through it, some more moss finds itself between his fingers as he pulls them from his head. Shrugging his shoulders, Atticus scoffs and tosses the moss at Alec. "I warned you to keep Salem out of this-" his voice grim at the mention of your name, "And you ignored it. I told you to keep quiet and you cannot even keep your mouth shut"
"Well, someone has to keep an eye on Salem, and why not give them a bit more power"
"A bit more po-" Akira claps his hands as he enters the room and pushes Alec aside, "You cannot keep it in your pants, that's the only reason you want Salem to be one of us"
"Thank you guys," Your eyes alternate between the three, standing opposite to one another, their fists clenched as their gaze rushes to you, "It's not like I have been through enough the past year. If you want to fight you may do so, but not on my account" A sigh comes over your lips when your fingers brush over a gash on Atticus's arm and you use you a pinch of goblin magic to heal it before he can pull his arm from your grasp. "I'll stop, if that's what you want, but then at least tell me why" The eyes raised to meet his glance, you shake your head when he scoffs and steps backwards, the hair falling into his face as he spins around and leaves the room.
For the rest of the day and the one that follows, neither you nor Alec or Akira speak to Atticus, or each other. Through Ominis you have heard that they got into another fight soon after, Professor Sharp stepping between Atticus and Alec, sending them both to detention.
Alone, strolling through the forbidden forest, you listen to the croaking of toads, and watch as fireflies hush by, lighting the path as you walk deeper into the forest and from the path towards the entrance of Richard Jackdaw's grave.
Although it has troubled you many times, how easy you found it to kill those loyalists, blaming their deaths on Ranrok, you seem to find a form of peace in that place. The calm lake, small ripples forming where the dragonflies land on water lilies, the stag that drinks at the other side of the lake and watches as you drop to the ground.
The limbs aching as your head touches the soft sand at the lake shore, you groan when a sharp sting rises through your body and tears on your mind. A sharp inhale and your eyes dart to the sky above, the full moon has passed, but it still shines bright above, lighting the forbidden forest in a vibrant blue, mystic, fog settling above the lake whose surface shimmers in the light of the moon while you fight to stay conscious.
Your body twitches as you push yourself off the ground and stumble forward, into the water, the cool waves brushing against your skin, hissing as the heat has reached a boiling point inside your body. With a desperate yelp, you drop forward and hold your breath as you dive deeper into the cold lake, father from the surface until no light can reach you. Screaming, you endure the pain that rushes through your veins and tortures you while the lake keeps you captured in the dark.
Water pearls off your face as you break through the surface, gasping for the fresh night air, and as you swim closer to the shore, a crack and rustling in the bushes draws your attention closer. In the lights that shines through the tree crowns, you spot a dark figure, tall, the eyes a deep blue, a scar through the right eye, almost as deep as your own. The long dark hair hangs over the shoulders that are covered by a cloak. Swishing, it flies over the ground as the figure vanishes into the dark and leaves you at the lake, alone, the quiet of the night surrounding you.
Exhausted, you drag yourself towards the entrance to Jackdaw's grave, leaning against the wall that still glimmers purple. With a look at the entrance, the swirl above, you debate whether to enter or not, but your energy runs low and when you try to lift yourself off the ground, you collapse, your eyes on the dark lake that shimmers in the light of the moon, and then you notice the dark figure once again, this time closer, but your eyes shut and next to the stags running away, no other noise reaches you.
Your skin crawling, something warm brushing over your chest, your eyes snap open, staring at the giant wolf that rests beside you, the head on your shoulder, its tail covering your feet. Feeling the cold dirt beneath your body, you inspect the hole you lay in. A fallen over tree, the roots sticking out, some grass grown at the edge of the hole that keeps the pouring rain from filling it.
A growl and warm air blown against your legs draws your attention lower. Another wolf, not as big as the first, lays over your legs, its back against yours, keeping you warm as the night has grown cold and you recall the dark lake, the water.
Perplexed, you lift your hand that rests over the bigger wolf's side and sit up. At your movement, the ears dart forward, a giant face lifted to look at you. A shiver runs down your spine as you spot the nasty scar through its right side of the face, the eyes blue and cold, watching your every move as you try to stand, but struggle.
Cussing to yourself, you flinch when you apply weight to your left side and stare at the wound on your arm. "When did that-" your hair falls into your face as you shake your head and mumble a few spells to heal yourself. "Alec would be proud" you laugh to yourself, watching a your skin grows back together, leaving a thin silver line along the underside of your arm. "Where are we?"
The eyes wandering around, you cannot recognise the woods around. Considering how often you have walked the forbidden forest, you are sure to recognise it even in the dead of night, but those trees look different, and the air smells fresher and mossier.
Growling, the smaller wolf lifts off your legs when you rise to a stand and looks around as well, the tail wagging when you climb out of the hole and peak through the trees to see the edge of the forest you have found yourself in. It pants, walking beside you to the edge of the treeline, a broad field before your eyes, doused in the early morning light, the dew shimmering like silver on the green field.
"Can you tell me where we are?" Your eyes wander to the wolf that stands beside you, the head leant closer when you ruffle through his ears, but it shakes its head at your question and when the bigger wolf growls, he steps back, the tail tugged between the hind legs.
The silver fur shining in the morning light, the wolf stands beside you, letting the cool wind brush over his head. After admiring the scene, the first bird chirping in the trees and bees rising to work, he nudges you to walk along the path that appears farther down the field. Unsure as to where it may lead, you follow the wolf, the second one behind you while the world around grows brighter.
Your stomach growls, and you stop at a bush to take some berries, offering a handful to the wolves, but neither is interested.
Through fields and over bridges, rivers, through more woods, you at last reach a height from where you spot the highest tower of a familiar castle. Hogwarts. It has taken you almost an entire day of walking, with not much company but the wolves, that even though you have asked many questions, refuse to speak to you.
"Thank you" You bow to the wolves, out of instinct, and to your surprise, they lower their heads and then dash off, back through the forest they have led you. Still exhausted, you reach the gates of Hogwarts, your feet dirty and scratched from stone and twigs, thorns, all you have walked across to find your way back.
The eyes wide, her cloak taken off the shoulders, Poppy storms towards you as you step through the gates into the courtyard. "Oh dear, Salem, where have you been? We were all worried and not even Ominis knew" Her glance falls to your clothes, ripped, the cloak hanging off in shreds, your long skirt with more holes in them than the Quidditch equipment after the pixie infestation in 1867. "Let's go inside. I've had Robert fly around on Highwing to look for you, and let me tell you it was dreadful to watch" She wraps her cloak around your body and smiles, "but I am glad to see that you are well"
Stumbling beside her, you find yourself in the girl's wash room of the DADA tower, with her and Nelly, who has asked the house elves to prepare a small supper as you have missed dinner as well.
Quiet, drinking the pumpkin juice that Poppy has heated with a spell, you listen to them talk about the issue of your disappearance and how Alec Hawthorne and Atticus Gray have spent most of the afternoon searching for you in the forbidden forest, receiving more detention after the teachers found out, but when hearing of your disappearance, even Professor Weasley allowed them to look further.
"You cannot imagine how devastated Alec looked when he could not find you" Poppy utters, brushing through your hair, "And poor Ominis, he is worried sick. We all were"
The two exchange glances and then burst into laughter.
"What is so funny?" You inquire, fighting against Nelly who helps you undress and pushes you into one of the showers, the water heated to not give you a shock. "Come on, tell me" Through the curtain, you can still hear them laugh, then the door to the wash room opens and some red sparks light the wall above.
"Well, Robert had to fly Highwing, and he did not like it"
"I heard him scream from miles away" Nelly giggles, sitting upon a stool in the corner, holding a towel in hand. "It was fun to watch, but I respect him for trying. Nothing he would not do for his beloved Poppy, right?"
"Oh, be quiet, Nelly"
Sniggering, you let the hot water patter onto your skin and wash away the dirt the woods have left behind, mumbling more healing spells while you watch your skin recreate and the blood rush down the drain with the water that clears up. "I am sorry for the trouble I have caused" you yelp, your hand gripping the curtain when you open it, Ominis standing close to you, his eyes lingering just above your head. "Ominis, I did not hear you enter"
"Come on, let us give them some space" Poppy gestures for Nelly to leave as well, but before walking through the door, Nelly hands you the towel, her eyes closed as she does so, then hushes after Poppy, who still chuckles about Robert.
His hand on the curtain, holding it open as you tie the towel around your body, wrapping it tight, Ominis shakes his head. "I was worried, Salem. Where have you been?"
"I am sorry, Ominis" Your arms reached around him, you press your head with the wet hair, to his chest, smirking when you have to look up to meet his face, the height difference having changed much over the summer. Standing on your toes, you look at Ominis, his eyes following as you lean closer. "I may have got myself into some trouble, but I promise it is over now, I will not do it again"
"Well, I hope so, I cannot lose you, Salem, you know that"
"And you won't" The hands on either side of his face, you lean your forehead against his, listening to the water drip from the curtain to the ground. "I did not mean to scare you"
"Scare him?" With a bang, the door crashes against the wall behind, giving sight to Alec, the clothes dirty, Atticus, whose face has turned red, and Akira, a smirk on his lips as he steps into the wash room, the arm stretched out to hold his friends back. "Care to explain yourself?"
With a sigh, you let go of Ominis and step towards Atticus, his broad body before you as you use a small spell to tie your hair back. "You wanted me to stop, I tried, and ended up somewhere in the woods, with wolves"
His eyes widen at your words, "You saw the wolves? Where?"
"Plural, wolves, I thought we only had to deal with one" Akira sighs, his eyes wandering to the scars that cover your shoulders, "You might want to get dressed"
"You are not dressed?" Ominis mutters, lifting off his cloak and draping it over your shoulders, "Why did you not say a word?"
"There are more important matters on hand than me being undressed, don't you think?"
With a slap to the back of his head, Atticus wipes off Alec's smirk and drags him out of the wash room, along with Akira, who holding his stomach chuckling while a few girls head towards the entrance, staring as the group leaves and Ominis, with you by his side, head to the common room.
***
That evening, Poppy approaches you with a small puffskein, much smaller than the others you have seen so far, asking you to take care of it, as she leaves the next day to visit her grandmother, and you agree, carrying the small creature to the RoR in the astronomy tower. It hops around in the vivarium, playing with the other puffskein, but you do not stay long and return to the dorm to find Ominis, already asleep on your bed. A gleeful smile on your lips, you walk over to the chest to the foot of the bed, and exchange your clothes for pyjamas, then join the warmed bed.