IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE AT THIS PARTY KNOWS WHAT happened between Jack and I over the weekend. Eyes keep darting to mine, puzzling me out, glaring at me, seemingly pulling apart every detail about me. Jack is with Trevor, Cole and another boy named Alex, they're all out playing beer pong. I'm inside with America and Jemma, I'm sitting on Quinn's lap while he talks to some other older people about who knows what.
He's got his hand on my thigh, holding a beer, it must look pretty out there for a girl who's not even dating the eldest Hughes brother to be on his lap, but to us, this was normal behaviour.
I definitely don't miss the way Jack's gaze periodically snaps to us, before his tears his eyes away with a frown. We haven't seen much of each other since we got back, and to be fair, I wasn't the one who initiated this position. Quinn had, yanking me to him by the waist and staring up a conversation about something completely random, while I sat on his lap.
"Jack keeps glaring at us," Quinn admitted, sighing before gripping at my hips, then placing me on the seat beside him. "Clearly he's still weird about me touching you."
I want to say it's because we fucked and he ate me out and I sucked his glorious dick and maybe we said the L word a few too many times, but what I really say is: "We're just friends, he shouldn't be worried."
"I think he thinks he owns you," Quinn commented, smirking.
I turn my attention to the boy outside, smiling and laughing along with his friends as they watched Trevor gag on the drink he'd just downed. I felt my insides churn at Quinn's words, because, well, I kind of felt the same. And not just that Jack owned me, or that I was rightfully his, but that he was mine.
The game must be over, because the boys are headed inside, making a direct route towards where I was now sitting beside Quinn and not on his lap. Jack's eyes don't even reach mine, in fact, he's making it pretty clear that he's avoiding me.
A frown settles on my lips, but I know I have no place to be sad because Jack's behaviour was entirely my fault. You couldn't blame me for being terrified, what you could blame me for, was the distance between us.
I just wanted him to look at me.
Maybe I spoke too soon, because suddenly he's looking at me, no, scratch that, he's glaring at me. It takes me a second to realise it's because Quinn's nudging my shoulder playfully while he speaks. I tear my gaze away, sighing. But that makes things worse because suddenly Jack's got his hands gripping the waist of a random blonde girl who's passed by.
She was tall, slender, perfect—everything that I'm not—and the entire reason I was hesitant to be with him. I'm furious all of a sudden, fuming so hard I feel smoke just about coming out of my ears, and I can't stop the words that accidentally slip through my lips.
"Are you kidding me, Jack?"
All eyes are on me, shit.
His gaze snaps to me, hands still gripping the waist of the blonde, but he's squinting, like he's accusing me. "What's the problem, friend?"
My cheeks flare at the mention of the word, my own words to him. Yes, admittedly, it had been me who had wanted to stay friends, but I didn't think it would drive a wedge between us, a wedge that was bitter and angry.
My chest rises and falls with each deep breath, hands fists at my sides. "You know exactly what's wrong."
"You know, Miracle—" he cocks his head, switching positions so that his arm is wrapped around blondie's shoulders. He looks angry, hard frown set on his lips and his jaw tense. "I'm not so sure that I do."
By this point, aside from the entire group of people switching between us like they need popcorn and a lawn chair to watch the show, I'm feeling pretty fucking pissed. I don't care that I have a room full of people, my brother included, listening. Seeing Jack actively touch another girl with the intent to make me mad was infuriating.
"Is it because of Quinn?" I snap, crossing my arms over my chest, my hip popping. "Because I already told you, Quinn is my big brother the same way Trevor is and you can't just—"
"What, Miracle?" He glares. "Can't what? Do whatever the hell I want because I'm single?"
I shut my mouth closed, bowing my head slightly at his words. He was right, I know he was, didn't hurt any less.
"Because I am single," Jack added, raising an eyebrow at me. "You made perfectly sure of that."
"Wait what the hell?" Trevor cuts in. "Am I missing something?"
I ignore him, so does Jack.
"You know the reason I didn't want to be with you was exactly what you're doing right now," I snap, my voice a whole octave higher than usual, Jack recognised it as the voice I did before tears usually followed. His chest tightened at the knowledge that he was about to make me cry, but the fire in his belly and the anger he felt kept him arguing.
"Mind your own business Miracle," Jack mumbled. "You're not my girlfriend, so go screw with another guys feelings."
"Excuse me?" I shout. Trevor tries to cut in again, we both ignore him. I take a step towards Jack, he drops his arm from the blonde girls shoulder. "You've been fucking with my feelings since I met you! You're fucking with them now—"
"Please, enlighten me, sweetheart," he laughs, smiling sarcastically at my words. "Because as far as I'm concerned—"
"You can't just have sex with me and then go do the exact thing you said you wouldn't three days later!"
Everyone gasps, Trevor snaps his gaze to Jack. "You what?"
"I told you I love you, Miracle," he stresses, and it looks like he might cry too.
Tears fall freely over my flushed cheeks, dripping past my lips and getting mixed with the taste of alcohol. "And I told you I love you too"
"Then why the fuck can't I have you?" He shouts, and all I hear is longing in his tone. It knocks the wind out of me, makes me step back from him, clutching my chest.
"Because of this," I whisper, gesturing my hands to the space the girl had previously been. "I'm sick of having my heart ripped out by you."
"Well, fuck that," he snaps, stepping even closer to me, so that our chests were inches from being pressed together. "These girls mean nothing, fucking nothing, they're distractions. But for fuck sake, Miracle I don't even want any of them, I just want—" his pauses, his tone quieting to barely a whisper. "—you."
I blink back around round of tears, staring up at him with a pout. When I don't respond, Jack continues.
"He needs to know, Miracle," and I know he's taking about Trevor. Jack turns to my brother, frowning. "Bro, I love you, you're my best friend and my brother and you'll always be that. But, fuck, man. I'm in love with Miracle, and I would hate myself for holding back if one day down the track she ended up with another person that isn't me."
He turns back to me, his face serious, as serious as I'd ever seen from him. My heart does a hiccup at the way he furrows his brows and chews on the inside of his cheek. He's standing in the middle of his friends, at a party, confessing his love for me for everyone to hear and see, and fuck I was weak at the knees.
"Miracle," he breathes, placing both palms against the skin of my cheeks. "I need you. I need you and I love you and I'm not taking no for an answer anymore. You are mine and I am yours and I'm gonna love you so hard you don't even recognise me, baby, but please fucking stop pulling away and sabotaging yourself because it hurts me too."
"Jack," I whisper, tear filled eyes and sad pout on my face.
"I'm going to kiss you," he grins, shaking his head like he can't believe himself, or maybe he just can't believe this situation and how ridiculous it all is. "But not here, no fucking way."
"Aw, come on!" America shouts. "We need the make up kiss!"
Then she's chanting for us to kiss, and the whole fucking room is joining in. I don't have to look at Trevor to know he's salty, but as I flicker my eyes to him I see him shaking his head with this tiny grin, like he's trying to hold it in and he can't. Holy shit. He totally ships it.
Everyone is screaming for us to kiss, and Jack just about pulls away, rolling his eyes like there's no way he's giving these dinguses the satisfaction. But, I'm a sucker for theatrics, and so I grab the hem of Jack's basic black t-shirt and yank him to me forcefully.
His lips land on mine as he lets out a yelp of surprise, tripping over and slamming into me. I don't care, not one bit. The whole room erupts into a wild flurry of shouts and hollers. Jack falls into rhythm with me easily, leaning down slightly to reach my height, his hands in resuming their place on my cheeks, his fingers tangling in my hair.
This kiss is nothing like the type we shared in New York. Gone is the sweet, gentle and passionate kissed that he'd blessed me with, but I wasn't sad to see them go, for the way he kissed me right now was so much better.
There was no shyness, no hesitance, no holding back. Jack was kissing me with every fibre of his being, every inch of his heart, his lips parting with mine and his tongue dipping into my mouth, cautiously at first, as if testing the waters, and then when he realised I wasn't about to stop him, he searched my mouth with certainty.
He bit my lower lip, causing a whine out of me, and I think he realised pretty quickly the direction this was headed. One hand still grips his shirt, the other in his hair, and I pull, earning a moan from the boy and his eyes to flutter closed.
Jack must be drunker than I thought, because suddenly his forehead is on mine, his breathing is shallower, lips kiss swollen and eyes full of lust. His hair is a mess and his cheeks are flushed and I'm momentarily proud because, I did that to him.
"I want to fuck you," he whispers, and I giggle uncontrollably.
"I know," I tell him, smirking. "You've been telling me that since the night you got back."
He trails his fingers down my throat, over my shoulder, down my spine. "So let me fuck you."
"Bro?" Trevor snaps, overhearing.
"You've already done that," I remind him, playing with the ends of his hair and still ignoring Trevor. Jack wraps both arms around my waist, dancing us back and forth before dipping me back slightly and bringing his lips down to meet mine. By now, everyone is over the moment between Jack and I, and back to partying.
"No," he whispers against my lips. "I've made love to you. I don't wanna do that tonight. I wanna fuck you. I wanna do dirty things to you, I wanna—"
"Prove it," I whisper, cutting him off.
He nods. I nod too, and allow Jack to lace our fingers together, pulling me out the door of the party, which is not at the Hughes house tonight, and towards where his pick-up is parked.
"I'm too drunk to drive us home," he admits sheepishly, and I can't help but admire the way he shrugs and smiles like the puppy he is.
"I could drive us home," I tell him, not having had much to drink. "Or, you could just . . ."
I blink up at him through my lashes, causing a groan from the boy as he turns away from me with slight frustration.
"Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
He licks his bottom lip, staring once again at my mouth. "Like you want me to fuck you in the back of my truck."
I trail my fingers over the skin of his jaw, watching him come undone from my feather like touch. "I do."
He sucks in a breath, staring down at me with wide eyes and a thundering heartbeat. I'm still blinking up at him, silently begging for him.
"Jack, will you please fuck me in the back of your truck?"
He places a hand under each thigh, lifting me up, my legs naturally wrapping around his hips as he captures my lips to his in another heated kiss. "Since you asked so nicely."