Sorry pooks I kept adding secret agent AU 's
I just like the AU sm (~￣³￣)~
(And wukong's new attitude :^) )
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It was a complete normal day. Normal. Absolutely fucking normal.
In fact, wukong was having a good day. There were no crazy idiots (read: li'uer macaque) running around, high on fucking drugs.
There were no shitty freaks (again, read: li'uer Macaque) messing around his workplace and preventing him from getting work done.
Usually, wukong's wonderful (absolutely not) husband would spam him with a barrage of texts everyday during work hours just because the bastard was way too lazy to actually do any work at the Agency.
Sometimes, wukong genuinely wondered why the Agency President, bull king, still kept macaque around.
He was just a good for nothing bastard who never did any work, after all.
Okay, maybe "genuinely" is a stretch. Anybody with half a braincell would know why macaque never got fired, despite his crazy antics.
One, the Agency members believed in treating all their colleagues like family. And as wukong very well knew, in the underworld, family didn't come along easy.
Once you find a group of people you are lucky enough to call family, you never let them go.
Macaque might not open up to people very easily, but he cared for the Agency members.
Wukonf also knew that said members cared for, and surprisingly respected him a lot. Other than the whole family aspect of Macaque's employment, the sly bastard was a literal genius. Who would ever fire someone that smart (read: idiotic)?
Currently, wukong was finishing up on his last paperwork of the day when his phone started ringing.
Being a highly respected dude, he obviously had an assembly of duties, and was quite used to getting unnecessary phone calls at any given time of the day.
As it turned out, this one wasn't unnecessary at all. Wukong didn't recognize the phone number, but nobody unimportant would ever dream of having his phone number, so he went ahead and picked it up anyway.
Tired from a long but productive day of work, he sighed as soon as he answered the call, "Who are you and what do you want?"
A nervous voice responded from the other end of the call, "Um, good evening, sun wukong."
The ginger alerted himself immediately on instinct. He recognized the voice on the other end; it was the Agency's newest member, the fire boy, as his protege likes to call him.
He asked suspiciously, "Fire boy- thing from that Agency, right? What do you want, kid?"
The redhead tried not to stutter as he spoke, "Yes! That's right! You can, um, call me redson. If you want! You don't have to! I mean!"
Wukong couldn't help but laugh as he heard the boy fray his nerves because of him.
He'd heard about redson from Macaque, and according to him, the newest member of the agency was actually quite a nice boy.
Wukong had never directly spoken to him before, but he just knew that he liked him. After all, he was Macaque's special protégé, and wukong knew better than anyone that You know, considering they used to be partners and all.
Wukong asked again, a light and friendly tone to his voice, "Don't panic so much, kid. I'm not gonna kill you, jeez. You still haven't told me what you're calling for. And how you got my number."
Redson sounded calmer when he replied, "Right! I'm actually at the metropolis General Hospital, right now. They gave me your number. You're, um, Mr. Macaque's emergency contact?"
The usually carefree wukong stilled, a shiver of panic crawling up his spine, "Emergency? Macaque? Is everything okay?"
Wukong hadn't realized that he'd already started walking towards the exit of building when redson spoke again, "No, no, it's nothing too urgent! My mom, iron fan, had to, uh, bring Mr. Macaque to the hospital forcefully to get his wisdom tooth removed. The hospital has a dentist department as well and... The nurse suggested we inform the patient's emergency contact."
Wukong felt the tension leave his body as he exhaled in relief, "Oh. Wisdom tooth. Right. I'll be there in ten minutes. Thanks for calling me, kid."
The red haired boy gasped, "Oh, no, we don't want to bother you! You don't have to-"
The man chuckled to himself as he hung up on redson and got out his bike of the fancy parking lots; the boy on the phone was actually still very much a child.
Wukong's jaw clenched as he thought about how the redhead had had to grow up too soon, not quite unlike him.
Pushing dark thoughts aside, wukong hurried his way to the hospital on his bike.
He was well aware that he had no responsibility to show up there and look after that shitty bastard, but he wanted to. Not that he would ever admit it aloud. At least not in private.
He was in front of the operating room within less than ten minutes. Iron fan, the idealist, and of course, redson, the 'fire boy', as wukong's subordinate liked to call him, were waiting in front of the operating room.
Iron fan was busy reading and highlighting something in a book, and redson was just sitting comfortably on the chairs, staring at the hospital walls.
Apparently, they hadn't want to be in the room when macaque had his wisdom tooth removed.
Wukong cleared his throat to announce his presence, deciding not to have a dramatic entrance just this once. Redson jumped up from his seat immediately, "Hello, sun wukong!"
The said emergency contact gave him a small smile, "Just wukong is fine. Hey, kid." He also nodded at Macaque's current partner briefly, in greeting.
The black haired woman closed her book and stood up and bowed his head in greeting to the infamous man, "sun wukong. I must say I was quite surprised to see you listed as that idiot's emergency contact."
Wukong lips curved up when he saw how Macaque current partner referred to him as an idiot as well; he was familiar with the annoyance. He laughed, "Who else would it be?"
When iron fan just shrugged in response, the younger boy spoke up hesitantly, "Well, I don't know. We just kinda always assumed that it'd either be my mom or my dad, uh, bull king."
Wukong considered that with a tilt of his head, "I suppose that would make more sense, yes."
Redson just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.
Thankfully, the poor boy didn't have to bear the awkward silence for too long. Wukong asked him quite nicely,
"So, care to tell me how this hospital visit suddenly happened? Quite random, don't you think?"
Redson chuckled thinking back on the incidents leading up to macaque ending up in the operating room, "You could say that, I suppose. You see, Mr. Macaque had been using his painful wisdom tooth as an excuse to get out of work for weeks now, and today my mom finally decided he's had enough."
Wukong winced, "So, the two of you just drove him out here?"
Redson sighed, "Yes. It was not easy."
Wukong mused, "I can't imagine it ever would be. Iron fan, I don't envy you for having to put up with that bastard. I've had more than my fair share back in the day."
Of course, everyone knew that the two of them used to be partners; the infamous Shadowpeach. Anybody having the most remote connection with the metropolis Underworld knew of the terrifying duo who took down a huge organization in one night.
Iron fan grumbled, "Of course, you don't envy me. Nobody in their right mind would ever want to be a maniac's partner."
The well known dude just laughed; and the conversation stopped at that. Ten minutes later, the dentist and his assistant walked out of the operating room.
The dentist looked at the latter questioningly, who seemed to understand the unsaid question fine enough.
She cleared her throat and turned to wukong, "I take it you're sun wukong?"
When the mentioned man just cocked his eyebrows in response, the assistant beckoned the dentist towards him.
The dentist nodded at him in greeting, "Hello. Mr. Liu'ers wisdom tooth has successfully been removed. He's still, how do you say it, a little loopy due to the anaesthesia. He'll be back to normal within a couple of hours, and you're free to go see him now."
Iron fan murmured under her breath, "I doubt there's any difference between normal macaque and anaesthesia-high Macaque, but sure."
This of course got a choked laugh out of both redson and wukong, and attracted strange looks from the medical stuff.
Wukong decided then and there that despite his previous slight jealousy (which he still won't admit to himself properly) towards iron fan, due to her partnership with Macaque
(you know, wukong's ex partner), he liked the idealist. She could be unknowingly funny sometimes, and the fact that her humour wasn't intentional just made the things he sad more comical.
Once the medical staff had left, Macaque's three visitors (insert Disney theme song; Macaque's Three Musketeers) entered the room.
The sight that awaited them was kind of adorable, at least to wukong. Macaque lay sprawled on the dentist's chair, his coat on the sofa nearby, his hair mussed, and his eyes unfocussed and dazed.
Redson couldn't help but gape at his mentor; the sight of him being so vulnerable and careless in a way wasn't an easy sight to digest.
For once in his time with Macaque, redson saw his mentor as a normal person. Unpredicting. Relaxed. Just a regular person, incredibly high on anaesthesia.
Once iron fan was satisfied that macaque was fine, he went back to his book, probably highlighting shit or something.
Redson meanwhile politely smiled at the man, "I'm glad your tooth won't be bothering you anymore, Mr. Macaque!"
Macaque just waved his hands around at his mentee, "Thank you, fire boy!"
Redson's eyes widened at the 'name'; had Macaque been spending time with Xiaotian lately?!
Not that the said fire boy would ever mind. Maybe it would do good for both macaque and xiaotian if they spent time together as friends, and not merely ex-mentor and ex-mentee.
Redson pushed those thoughts aside as he heard wukong laugh aloud at his ex partner's nickname for his new protégé.
Macaque heard wukong's laugh and immediately started looking around for the owner of the voice.
His eyes widened when they finally landed on wukong, and the first thing he said was, "Holy shit, you're tiny."
Wukong, who had been calm and collected until now, immediately lost his shit, "Hah?! What'd you say bastard?"
Macaque carefully noted, "And you're really loud."
The said short and loud person glared at him, "And you're really annoying even when you're high on legal drugs."
The 'high' person ignored that comment and proceeded to speak again, "You're so pretty. Like, really pretty. Who are you? No, I'm serious. You're like absolutely beautiful. Breath taking. Gorgeous!"
Wukong stared at him for a second before managing to speak, fighting a very (very) obvious blush, "I'm wukong."
Iron fan however sighed at the patient, "macaque, please refrain from asking him to commit suicide with you. I doubt he'd want to be even asked that."
(Yep, suicidal macaque just had to add this yk???? Get that???)
Macaque looked at his current partner with confusion, "Huh? Who would ever want to die with this beautiful, although tiny, man? I'll live for him instead!"
...
...
Still silence enveloped the whole room. Wukong, the freak, who never shut up about wanting to die had just said he wanted to live.
Macaque. Li'uer Macaque. This was a historic moment which should make into history books, really. And macaque had sounded so earnest and raw and honest too!
What was that about? Redson was shocked and confused and starting to wonder if his beloved mentor had been abducted by aliens (or an enemy organisation; that would be more plausible) and the person in front of them was just an impostor.
Iron fan on the other hand had already broken his new highlighter on hearing those words. He was convinced that he was hallucinating.
Wukong, however, had his breath caught in his throat at the honesty in his ex partner's voice.
He didn't quite know what to say so he settled on a shaky chuckle, "What are you even going about, bastard?"
Macaque pouted, "I'm serious! Wukong really is pretty!"
Wukong laughed freely again, "Thanks? You're pretty too."
Redson's eyes bugged out; did the mafia executive just call macaque pretty? Was he high too? But he drove here.
He can't possibly be high. So he's saying all of this sober?! Iron fan would have broken her highlighter all over again if it wasn't already broken.
The duo however ignored them and were in their own little world now.
Macaque sparkled (yes, that's correct), "wukong thinks I'm pretty? I'm flattered! Say wu, do you have a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Or anything of that sort?"
Iron fan gaped, and was about to reprimand her idiot of a partner once again, but wukong beat him to speaking up, "Hm, a boyfriend you say? No, I don't. I used to, though."
Macaque beams happily before nodding sagely, "Well if he was stupid enough to let you go, he doesn't deserve you anyway! Ne wukong, you should marry-"
It is safe to say that iron fan was on the verge of a heart attack by now, and redson was regretting his decision to join the Agency for the hundredth time that day.
Before macaque could finish his sentence and propose marriage to wukong, the latter was quick to interrupt him, "I don't have a boyfriend anymore because I married him. So, I have a husband."
The way Macaque's smile immediately fell off his face would be hilarious if it wasn't kind of sad, "Oh. Wukong is married. Pretty, tiny wu is married?"
Wukong whispered to him, "Don't call me tiny, idiot. But yes, I am. Wait, are you crying?"
Macaque blinked, "Eh? No. But I am disappointed! How could you betray me like this? Bad peach. Wukong should marry me instead!"
Then to everyone's surprise, Macaque started belting out an English song.
Redson hadn't even known macaque listened to English music! But apparently, wukong was familiar with the song.
He burst out laughing as soon as macaque started singing, "Break up with your husband! Yuh, yuh, 'cause I'm bored! You can hit it in the morning~"
Wukong, barely coherent with laughter, slammed a hand onto Macaque's mouth, "Oh my god, shut up, idiot. Ouch! Did you just lick me? You're disgusting."
The macaroni stuck out his tongue at him now that wukong's hand had been removed, "Well then don't interrupt my wonderful performance! Ne macaque, won't you marry me?"
To iron fan's absolute surprise and horror, sun wukong seemed to actually consider it.
He spoke again after having considered Macaque's crazy proposal seriously, "Well, you see I would..."
This time, iron fan couldn't stop herself from speaking up, "sun wukong, are you alright? You know you don't have to stay here. We can take it from here. We're used to handling crazy macaque, after all."
Wukong laughed at him, "I'm sure you are, but I've been putting up with this shitty bastard for more than six years now. I'm sure I'll manage somehow."
He then turned back to macaque to finish his sentence, "Like I was saying, I would marry you, shitty bastard, but you swore your life away away to me five years ago. Or did you forget?"
Macaque's eyes brightened with understanding, "Does that mean..."
Ignoring iron fan's almost aneurism, and redson's growing concern for both his superiors and the ginger, wukong nodded in affirmation as he raked his gloved fingers through his partner's black hair, "Yes, you social misfit. We're very much already married."
Macaque gave him a lazy, satisfied smile, "I was the husband you were talking about, ne peach?"
Wukong almost sounded fond and soft when he replied, "Yes, shitty macaque."
Macaque yawned and spoke one last time before passing out, "Good. Keep it that way."
Wukong shrugged even though Macaque couldn't hear or see him, "Yeah. Didn't plan on changing it anyway."
***
The next day
Wukong was enjoying his day off in the penthouse he shared with his husband, lounging about in his very tastefully decorated living room, drinking his very expensive peach juice.
It was truly a wonderful day. And then, said husband barged into the apartment, grumbling loudly, making a mess everywhere by throwing away his shoes, socks and coat, not necessarily in that order.
The taller of them walked towards the couch wukong was sitting on and flopped down next to him, "You. What did you do? My gem hates me! He wanted me to get yelled at by my co-workers! Mean peach."
Wukong patted the other's thigh and snorted, "Don't worry, darling. You'll survive."
Macaque huffed and puffed for a minute more before moving closer to wukong, an air of seriousness surrounding him.
He said softly, "You know, peach, they wanted to know all about my marriage. I wonder how they found out?"
Wukong replied casually, with the straightest (unlike him) face he could manage,
"Well, you see, mango, you proposed marriage to me after calling me pretty with ten different synonyms when you were high on anaesthesia yesterday-
-In fact, you looked ready to cry when I told you I was already married. I couldn't just leave my beloved husband to cry himself to sleep, so I very kindly informed you that we were already married. Your co-workers just happened to hear me."
Macaque murmured, his fingers stroking through wukong's hair, "How truly kind of you, gem. What would I ever do without you?"
Wukong snorted, his tug on Macaque's sleeves betraying his easy humour, "You'd probably be floating in a river somewhere, annoying your partner."
Macaque rolled his eyes, "I wouldn't call him my partner. After all, like you know very well, I just have one partner in life."
Wukong smacked him, "Shut up! God, how do you say embarrassing things like that with a straight face?"
Macaque wailed dramatically, "First you make my colleagues trouble me all day and then he smacks me! How unfair! How cruel!"
Wukong groans, "Oi, shut it, you melodramatic bastard. And you deserve it! You trouble them all day every day, after all."
Macaque just ignored that and continued to trace patterns on his husband's stomach.
A few minutes later, wukong shifted slightly to stroke Macaque's hair as he murmured softly, "I thought you wanted to tell them. That's why I..."
Macaque cut him off immediately, "I did. Don't worry. I wish I could have seen iron fan's reaction when you said that we're already married. I bet she broke his highlighter."
Wukong laughed softly, "she actually did that when you said something quite interesting actually."
Macaque stilled at that; he didn't quite remember what he'd said the previous day. He asked hesitantly, "What... What did I say?"
Wukong rubbed his husband's neck with his thumb, "You said you'd live for me."
The silence in the huge penthouse was deafening. It was almost too still. Neither of them said anything for a while.
Then macaque relaxed without any inhibitions, "I wasn't lying."
Wukong felt his breath catch again. Damnit, shitty bastard. Who allowed him to say such things, eh?!
The smaller man took off his hat and plopped his hat onto the taller's head, "Good to know, partner. Good to know."
(Ey, cowboy thing rule shit)
Macaque just hummed, going back to tracing patterns on wukong's skin. The silence this was comfortable; it was the kind of silence they were used to.
It was pleasant, a form of peace they'd achieved very recently, despite their marriage of five years at the age of twenty two.
Macaque broke the silence a few minutes later, "Ne peach, did I say something else?"
Wukong considered the question for a while, before a smirk slowly spread on his face, "Well, you did sing "Break up with you husband", by Ariana Grande. You know, when you were asking me to divorce my husband and marry you instead."
Macaque sat up immediately, his jaw dropped, "What the fuck? I did not!"
Wukong burst out laughing, "You totally did! I bet you can hack the hospital's CCTV to find footage. Your co-workers heard you too!"
Macaque, always the type to get embarrassed by the silliest things, whined, "wukong! Kill me! I cannot possibly go back to work now that I've parodied Ariana Grande's song in front of my beloved mentee! What will he think of me?"
Wukong laughed again, "I'm sure redson knows you are a huge idiot, you big baby."
Macaque just huffed, muttering about how his precious protégé would never betray him like that.
The ginger added a heartbeat later, in soft words, "Besides, you said you'd live for me anyways. You can't take it back."
Macaque gave his husband a smile, one rivalling a masterpiece worth ten billion, "I don't plan to take it back, partner. You know I don't lie in negotiations like this."
Wukong whispered before sealing Macaque's- no, their- promise to each other with a soft kiss, "Good."