Ellie sat in the board room with the crisis counsellor and looked to him
"I really don't know what you want me to say. I really don't know what good it will do" Ellie said
"You went through something traumatic. How did it feel?" He asked
"What to have a gun pointed to my head. Exhilarating makes me want to have it done to me every day" Ellie said
"How do you really feel" he asked as she looked to him and sighed
"You want to know how I feel. I feel sick all the time and I think what's the point. I was falling in love with Jackson and I ended it as it got too much. I had a gun to my head as I wanted to save the man that was like my brother to me. My brother committed me and I am still having the nightmares as it's too much so that's how I am. Bow let's talk over your dad. Do you get a bonus if you commit me again?" Ellie asked
•••
Ellie walked down the hallway as she saw Cassie and smiled "how are you feeling" Cassie asked as Ellie shrugged
"Can't complain I mean I'm not locked up in a straight jacket like my brother would have me. He thinks I'm crazy" Ellie said
"Mark worries for you" Cassie said
"Yeah well his worry is going to lead me back into a way direction of a nut house" Ellie said as they looked to see April as Derek walked down the ja
"Chief shepherd, you're back." April said
"Good morning." Derek said
" I find a giant skull base chordoma. Biggest one I've ever seen." April said as she handed Derek scans as Ellie and Cassie followed down the hall
"Really? " derek asked
" He came in to the e.R. With trouble breathing." April said
" You got cleared for surgery?" Meredith asked
" I did." April said
"Bitch" mereidth said as Ellie laughed
"Don't worry he didn't clear me either. He thinks my sarcasm over it all isn't healthy" she said
"He's got a found" Cassie said
"Really you're questioning my mentality when you sleep with my brother willing" Ellie said as Cassie rolled her eyes.
"I know it looks inoperable. I mean, I would've said it was inoperable, but you're back and you're you." April said to Derek. They all walk into the main area of the hospital where the staff applauds Derek's return.
"Right. Hey, uh, yes, good morning. Thank you. Thank you very much. Good. Thank you. Thank you very much. It's, uh, it's great to be back. First of all, I'd like to thank Dr. Webber for stepping up in my absence. Thank you. Uh, I'm grateful for all of you, for all of your support during my recovery. Thank you. Uh, it's just, uh, so great to be back as chief. I'm grateful for the, uh...I'm sorry. That's a lie. That's what people say, and, uh, the truth is... I hate being chief. I hate it. Chief Webber... Chief Webber is our chief. Um... And I'm sorry, but this giant... Sorry, I gotta go look at this chordoma. I, um, I'm sorry, but... I quit. Let's go, Kepner. Come on. " Derek said as he walked off with April
Ellie glanced to Cassie as they both held the same look
"Oh, sorry. Okay. " April said as Most people look stunned, but Bailey is laughing.
" He just quit." Bailey said laughing
"He was supposed to clear me for surgery." Meredith said
•••
Ellie stood in the hallway and looked to see mark as he walked over to her
"Are you okay" he asked as she looked to him and sighed
"You don't need to worry over me mark. I am not on the edge of a nervous breakdown" she said
"I'm your big brother. It's my job to look after you" mark said as she thought back to a few weeks ago
Mark is suturing someone while Alex observes. Lexie comes up to him.
"Karev, give me another suture" mark said as a sleep deprived Ellie Sloan walked over to him
" My patient didn't bring her meds. She doesn't even know their names. I... if I give her albuterol and she's on propanolol, then she'll stop breathing. If... if I give her warfarin and she's on ibuprofen, then she'll... then she'll bleed out. If I give her diphenhydramine and she's on doxepin, then she'll die. So do... do... do you think she wants to die?" Ellie said hysterical
" Is she kidding?"
"Karev, what's going on over there? " mark sdked. He was concerned for his sister
" I think that she wants to die. I think she wants me to kill her. Do... do you... do you... do you want me to kill you? Because you... you could just get a gun, and it would be a lot faster." Ellie died
"Karev, get her outta here."
" You know what? So why doesn't somebody find a gun... and we'll bring her a gun and just shoot her... " Ellie said
" Karev, help her. I can't step away. Get her out of here!" Mark said
"cause she obviously wants to die Help! Somebody find her a gun 'cause she wants to die!" Ellie said
" I got my own stuff to do." Alex said
" Somebody find something!"
•••
"I got cleared for surgery" Ellie said
"I thought that you didn't?"
"I had another session an hour ago I got cleared" Ellie said as mark looked to her
"Unbelievable I am going to kill that guy" mark said as he rushed off. Ellie frowned as she walked off after her brother as he rushed into the room were Perkins was
"You cleared Ellie Sloan for surgery?" He asked
"Dr. Sloan, I'm in... I'm in session."
" I had to check her into psych last week. I had to commit her against her will! And you just clear her for surgery? What the hell kind of doctor are you?" Mark asked as Ellie appears behind him.
"It's okay. You can talk to him." Ellie said
" I'll come back. " alex said as he Alex leaves.
"Yeah, walk away. You're good at that"
"She got snowed. Psych put her on heavy doses of antipsychotics and benzos. And then she slept for almost 50 hours straight. When she woke up, she was no longer a risk to herself or others. I mean, she has P.T.S.D. Most of you do. For her, it caused severe sleep deprivation and led to a breakdown. All she needed was sleep. So protocol is that she goes back to work. " perkins said
" See? I'm okay. Really. I'm back." Ellie said
"I don't give a damn what you think. This is Ellie. This is my baby sister. The girl who use to get me to plait her hair until she was twelve. I have always looked out for her and I will do it until I die. She's not okay. She had a freaking gun put to her head. No one is oaky after that" mark said
"Mark" ellie said
"No Ellie. Dad is a deadbeat and mom died and never cared for you. They didn't care for us. I have always looked out for you and I know that you're not okay. It's my job to look out for you" mark said as Ellie looked to him with tears in her eyes
"I'm okay mark I swear" Ellie said
•••
Mark thought back to the previous week.
Mark walked back into his apartment as he looked to Cassie who was waiting for him
"Hey what happened" Cassie asked as she saw how he had been crying. Mark sat down and ran his hands through his hair and sighed
"I had to commit Ellie" he said as Cassie looked to him shocked
"You what" she asked
"I had to cass. She's my sister and I have to look out for her and she's having a breakdown. She hadn't slept she had a gun to her. She could of got shot" he said as Cassie sat next to him and pulled him into a hug and smiled
"It's okay. She's going to be okay. We're all going to be okay" Cassie said as she held him close. He was worried over his sister
•••
Ellie sat in the basement with the others as she looked to Jackson. She knew that it was complicated between them
"I dig weddings. I do a mean chicken dance." Jackson said as they stood talking over Cristina wedding
" Oh, there will be no chicken dance. And if you start a conga line, I will physically throw you out."
" I just went to cafeteria, and some nurse called me Reed and then said, "I thought you died." April said
" Yeah, don't go to the cafeteria for lunch. They just point and stare." Lexie said
" Is that why you dyed your hair?" Jackson asked
" They stare because we should've died." Cassie said
"Pack a lunch. Keep it in your locker." Lexie said
Alex comes in with his papers that he's been cleared.
"You are kidding me. You got cleared? " meredith asked
" It's down to you and Yang." Alex said
" That is not funny." Meredith said
" Well, Perkins is no dummy. He can see the crazy right under the Meredith Grey surface." Cristina said
" Again, Cristina, it's not funny because you're not gonna get cleared either, and the two of us are gonna be serving slushies at the multiplex." Meredith said
" Really? I'd choose dermatology over multiplex. " Cristina said
" No, I'd go gynecology over dermatology." Jackson said
" Oh, of course you would. Perv. I bet with Ellie" Cassie said as Ellie elbowed her in the ribs
"I think I'd go with psych. That was a joke." Ellie said as everyone looked to her
"That was good." Cristina said
"Anyway, I don't know what Perkins' problem is with me." Meredith said
"Maybe he saw your file." Cristina said
"Maybe he knew your mother." Alex said
"Maybe he heard how you told the shooter to shoot you." Jackson said
"Not funny." Meredith said
"Not a joke." Jackson said as Bailey comes around the corner and pauses, looking at them all.
"Dr. Bailey. " meredith said
" Welcome back."
" You okay?" Alex asked
" I'm happy to see you all." Bailey said as She then hands out charts.
"Karev, there's a patient in 23-04 that needs an endoscopy. Grey and Yang, surely your paycheck covers more than stuffing your face in the basement. Get to the clinic now. And, you two... I'm awful sorry about the loss of your friends. "
" Thank you."
"So are we." Jackson said
" 22-13 has a bowel impaction, and I'm sure as hell not about to stick my hands in there."
•••
Ellie stood in the room with Jackson as he stood across from her and sighed "I missed you'd talk to me and tell me what's going on inside your head" he said as she looked to him and sighed
"I have nothing to say Jackson" she said
"Ellie" he said as she looked to him and sighed
"I can't sleep I close my eyes and there's a gun to my head as this right now. I can't do this it's too much I need to focus on myself" she said as he walked towards her and frowned as he placed a hand on her cheek
"Please don't do this" he said as a tear roll down her face and looked to him
"I have too. Please just give me time wait for me" she said as he looked to her and nodded
•••
Ellie stood in Meredith's house as she waited for Cristina and Owen's wedding to start. She stood looking at a photo of the wall as she heard someone behind her and turned around as she saw Jackson and smiled as she looked to him
"Hey how are you doing. I feel as if o haven't seen you"
"What since I was committed. I'm okay. I know how things have been with us. I just...I'm not ready" she said as he looked to her and smiled
"You went through some trauma. You're allowed to be scared. Look we're still friends and I won't hold it against you. You had a gun to your head. We were all in that room and I have the nightmares too. Maybe we are all a bit messed up" Jackson said as Ellie smiled
"Well I know I am" Ellie said as Jackson reached for her hand and smiled
"You're not messed up Ellie. Your unique that's all" Jackson said as Ellie smiled
Ellie walked into the room as they looked as the wedding started
Mark looks at Cassie, Arizona, and Callie smile at each other, April starts crying. Cristina and Owen exchange rings.
"I do." Owen said
" I do." Cristina said as they kissed. Ellie looked to them and smiled. Ellie knew how she had ended things with Jackson . She had taken a break but she knew they she felt more alone then ever