J a s m i n e
Saturday
7:26 pm
I lay back in the lawn chair by the pool. I close my eyes, listening to the music playing in the background. There's a slight breeze that adds to the beauty of the sunset. After my actions of last night, I needed something to take my mind off it. I don't regret it but i'm confused.
I couldn't contain the amount of flashbacks. The way his hands felt on my body. The way he looks at me. Our sexual chemistry is still the same, that desire never faltered. Afterwards, there was a moment where we just stared at each other. We took the time to bask in each other's presence. Tangled up in each other that it was so hard to pull away this morning. The moment we pulled away reality set in and he had to get ready for a game.
"Sooo we're not gonna address the elephant in the room", Marlyn looks at me out the corner of her eye.
"My love life has nothing to do with you", I tell her. She knows I don't like discussing intimate details. Some things are meant to stay between you and the person you experience that moment with. Especially in moments where you're still trying to process what happened and that's currently my position. "We had a night, simple as that".
Marlyn smirks, "sooo y'all did the do"
I cut my eyes at her and she giggles. "Period! My girl got her back blown out", she claps her hands together, completely disregarding what I said. "Is it giving getting back together or?"
"No"
Do I have regrets about sleeping with him? No
Does it raise confusion? Yes
I never realized how much I missed being in presence but it can't be that simple. Our relationship is far from simple.
I take out my phone, going on Instagram. I tapped through everyone's story without a second thought until Malik pops up. It's a bunch of clips from last night. I smile at the video that he recorded of himself, one thing I can't deny is that the man is fine. "I don't mean to snap on you hun, but you know how I am", I look up from my phone. Marlyn stares at me with a pout, holding her hand out for me to grab. "I'm not mad at you, I know I can be pushy sometimes. I just want to know how you're feeling", she leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek.
"I hooked up with Mark last night", she spills and I let go of her hand. Only Lord knows what she was doing with those hands last night. The way Mark talks, I could only imagine what happened between them. Technically, she could say the same about me since I was bussing it open for Malik. "Do you like Mark?", I ask. I tried to stir the conversation away from her sex life, I'm not really interested in that part of my friends. We share superficial stuff like positions and turn-ons but I try to refrain from going into detail. Details that would make me cringe.
A smile forms on her face, "I find him attractive but I don't know. I don't know if I could ever take him seriously. I don't know if he would ever take me seriously". She goes onto a tangent. I could feel her becoming worked up.
"Calm down. Figure out if you like him or not. Have that conversation and if you feel like he's on games then leave him alone."
She nods, "you're rig-oh girl check your phone"
I look down, seeing a bunch of messages in the group chat with our friend group. Several images being sent. All of them being different headlines about Malik and I. Miniature clips of us dancing at the club, whispering in each other's ears, and gazing into each other's eyes. Not to mention me bent over on him like there's no tomorrow.
"Malik and his ex-girlfriend Jasmine seen dancing at nightclub", I read aloud. I turn off my phone because I didn't have a response for them. People would run with their own narratives regardless. "We need to get ready for the game", I tell as we both stand up.
Can you come see me tonight?
__________________________________
M a l i k
I stand in the locker room, pacing back and forth. "Coach I need to go outside", I tell him, my adrenaline is on ten and I needed to release it. The amount of nerves built up is killing me. We had an hour before the game and sitting around would kill me. Before every game, I had a ritual of running around for a minute by myself. "No more than thirty", he looks at me for a second before waving me off.
I jog outside, taking a run around the track. There's a secluded area for star basketball players. I run around towards the back, thankful that it's empty. I needed to clear my head. All I can think about is her. She's been on my mind all day. Seeing that text doesn't help at all. On top of that I knew she'll be at the game.
Jasmine confuses the hell outta me. Our dynamic drives me insane but that'll never stop me from loving her.
As I run, my phone rings. I assumed it must be important since only favorite contacts are allowed to get in contact with me. Mike, my manager for two years now. "I have an offer for you. There's a training camp in Arizona. It's recruiting two of the best players from every team"
I listen, wondering where this is going. "It's a documentary. It'll give you a chance to show how relatable you are to fans and branch out to a wider fanbase", he pauses.
"How long is the camp?", my eyebrows raise. I stand to the side, my run is obviously over.
"Three months", I scoff at the mention of that.
The first thought that comes to mind is Nolan.
"I'll need sometime to think about that", I admitted. I know I would have to discuss this with Jasmine. It's a lot of consider. "I understand but think about this will benefit you in the long run".
I hang up the phone. I didn't know if I wanted my life documented. That means other things besides my job. That means more opportunities for people to make assumptions about the status of my life. I wish life could be as simple as playing ball. The amount of self-promotion that comes with this gig is unbelievable.
Three hours later.
"AHHHHHHH", the crowd goes wild. Everyone stands on their feet, with their hands waving in the air. I look around at the hundreds of people in the stadium. My teammates jumping and shouting to celebrate their excitement. Through all the screaming and shouting, my eyes stay focus on the crowd. I scan through the people, my eyes falling upon Jasmine. She already stares at me with a wide smile, clapping her hands together.
Despite our differences, she showed up for me. Even when we weren't on speaking terms, she still brought Nolan to all the games. I'll always admire her for that.
The team and I went back to the locker room. We changed into our normal clothes. I had on a black Nike tech suit because it was freezing outside earlier. "You going to celebrate with us?", Jared walks up to me with a big smile. He's been cheesing even before the win which leads me to believe that he got laid last night. I guess everyone had a great time yesterday.
"Nah, i'm gonna be with Jasmine", I whispered the last part and he whips his head towards me.
"You are really milking out this getaway huh?", he jokes and I wave him off.
Once I found a way to escape, I was in front of Jasmine's hotel room door. As i'm raising my hands to knock, she opens the door. An awkward smile comes onto her face as I notice the robe. It was slightly open at the top, revealing that there's nothing underneath. "Congrats on your game", she smiles as she closes the door behind me. I sit on the chair , automatically pulling off my shirt since it's hot.
"Thanks, gorgeous", I smirk and open my arms for a hug.
She straddles my lap, gracing me with her presence. She wraps her arm around my neck, laying her head on top of mine. I rub her back softly, "how was your day?", I question.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?", she looks up at me. I got lost in admiring her face, her skin is always flawless. Smooth and pure glass. "I mean all I did was condition and play a game. We won, my concern is on you", I revert the attention back on her and she tries to hide her blushes.
"My day was good. I mostly just chilled until I got wind that paparazzi caught us leaving the club", she drops her head into my chest.
I laugh, "Baby, we were damn near dry humping in the club. Those rumors would've started regardless"
We share a laugh and she moves off my lap. She sits on the bed, crossing her legs. "Why you move", I smirk, watching as she tries to distract herself from looking at me.
"Because you ain't my man, it slipped my mind", she tries to keep from laughing.
"Wasn't saying that when I-whatever", our eyes lock again. "Jasmine?"
"Yes, Malik", she was in a good mood. I know that hearing the news I got earlier would ruin this moment. "What's wrong?", she questions, with an eyebrow raised.
I shake my head, "Nothing, I just feel like I haven't seen this side of you in a long time".
"I mean it's hard to do when we're always at odds with each other", she lays on her back. Her eyes staring up at the ceiling with her hands behind her head. "I don't hate you. I never have, but you don't understand how much that shit hurt me"
"You don't think that I hurt?", I stand up and crawl on the bed to hover over her. "To think that my actions are the reasons that I see my son every other week or constantly Facetiming him every night because I can't see him physically. I miss having you both around everyday, that shit eats at me. I miss you, you know we were cool before this relationship shit. I feel like I lost my best friend from this shit", my heart started to break again. I rarely talk about this. Come to think about it, I don't talk about it. None of my friends nor family know the actual reason that we broke up. I kept telling everyone that we were just having differences which isn't a lie.
Jasmine sits up, facing me. "You didn't lose me Malik. I might be mad at you but it's not fuck you. It's gone take a minute before things get back to normal, you know.", I have no choice but to understand. It's not like she could catch a break from me, i'm all over her timeline and we have to stay in communication for our son. She wasn't the type to take him away just because we're on bad terms.
"What would make things easier?"
She shrugs, "I guess just being honest about where your head is at. I don't really know how to explain it. I think a lot of things could've been avoided if communication was better on both ends"
"I agree", I get up and give her a hug. I lay my head on top of hers, basking in her natural scent of shea butter.
I don't how i'm going to break this news to her.