⇣ 𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙼𝙰𝙳𝙴 𝙼𝙴 𝙰 𝙿𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙴𝚂𝚂？⇡
The first time the two of you had met. How long has it been since then? Only just a few months ago, Claude had one thing on his mind, he wants to kill you and get rid of your stupid face.
When he heard you call out his name, a pit of anger arose.
His first name. His true name. A name that he loathes so much. Why didn't he get a great name like his older brother? His name, one that is horrid and can only be mocked by others. To hear anyone call him by it, made him flare up in anger. Limp? Stutter? Crippled? What person would want to live that way? With such a label?
"What will it take for you to love me?" Claude asked.
"Should I become like Anastacius? I will work ten times harder than he shall ever have to do. Will you then love me very much? Will you then, call me by my name?"
As Claude's eyes, look hopefully at his father's, there are nothing but simple words that leave his mouth.
"You crippled child, a boy born from a fool, never once have I ever considered you my son. Anastacius will take my honor, and achieve great heights. You... you are simply, nothing."
He can remember it briefly, the first time he had learned of his name. His knees touched the rugged floor, as he looked up at a man with a heavy crown on his head. His eyes, jeweled with greatness, saw no worth nor livability in it.
Not only did it cut Claude's heart, his nose drizzled with blood from the impact. Claude could only shake. No sweat trickled down his face, only but a harsh winter snow froze him in place. Though he gripped a furry coat, one that could warm millions, but warmed one. This man, he does not love the young and innocent Claude. He only hates, and will continue to hate, until he sees a worth in someone. Not Claude. Not anyone but his dear court and his older brother.
Love is foreign to him. He had never once touched it, nor felt it truthfully. Though his brother, born from the grace of God, had no love or space left for him.
"Claude." You had said it. After these years, this time, someone had said it. At first, he remembers the voice that last said it to him. "Claude." He remembers it. The last person, the last person he had killed off for good reasons. The last person that had whispered it to his ear, as their head is low, and a ruby red liquid called blood, dripped down from his lips. He remembers it all. In the throne room, where a crown had been stolen, and the cloak has been laid to rest on the floor. It was bright that day. But it already felt so dark. So lonely. So, burdensome.
But under the moon, a moon he swore he would kill, had given him a chance to live once again. A moon so bright and so beautiful, everything stopped, time had stopped, the wind had stopped, all to admire the daisy white sphere that is cratered with flaws. The moment lasted for seconds, but it felt ever longing. Eternal. His soul, one hurt and closed from all eyes, had peeped through the window, right there. And on the other side, it was you.
Claude had opened his eyes. The early birds had chirped and woken him up for the day.
"[ Name ]" He whispered. His eyes stare up at the ceiling. However, right when he says this, a grey eyed, and red haired young man comes from nowhere. He appears in Claude's view, almost... just almost frightening him.
"You..." he says a loud, turned off by just the sight of Felix in front of him. "Why are you here?"
Felix only smiles at the displeasure Claude is giving to him. Taking no great offense whatsoever.
"I came to inform you about the leave of Cordelia. One of the residents of the Ruby Palace," Felix states.
Claude only shifts upward, as he sits, facing the walls of his room. As glorious as they look, he can care less about the interior design, and about that woman Cordelia. A woman he doesn't even remember all that well.
"And what does that have anything to do with me?" The residents of the Ruby Palace, are free to leave if they so desire. Usually, concubines were made to inform the Emperor beforehand, but Claude doesn't care too much about all those details. He finds them rather tiring.
"Nothing, I thought it would be in my best interest to inform you. Considering you don't pay too much attention to those ladies anymore." Though what seems and sounds like Felix is just done with what he has to do, he continues further.
"Miss [ Name ] has too, left the Ruby Palace to meet up with her family." Claude takes his eyes off the wall and looks at Felix. Then, he looks back on the floor once again.
"When did she leave?" Claude asks, as he slides off his bed and places his robe on his shoulders.
"Just an hour ago." Claude pauses for a moment, and speaks once again, only this time, he says so under his breath. "Tch, that stupid family of hers. How did she come out the way she is despite their disgusting features?"
"I don't mean any rude things, but don't you recall her lost obsession over you?" Felix asks. Claude only looks at Felix. His eyes narrow in frustration.
"Get out," Claude orders, and as such, Felix leaves, feeling some sort of guilt by saying those hurtful things to [ Name ]. On cue, Felix says his usual words when leaving the Emperor, and closes the doors shut.
Claude moves to his couch and sat there, thinking about the words that had just left Felix.
You? Obsess over him? Since when? Since when has you, the girl who flinches at the mere touch of his hands, obsess over him? Your first meeting says it all. You had thought he wanted to succumb to his own wants. That day, he chuckled, it was hilarious for you to even think that. You calling his name, had dissatisfied him, and he wasn't feeling it that day. Nor the next, not even the day after that. For months, he's gone without any activity.
But you, obsess over him? Since when has that ever happened? Since when have you had your eyes out for him. Were you tricking him? Lying to him just so you can get closer to him?
No, you have not. Claude knows that. And he's willing to stick with it to the very end.
That day, it was the first he has ever met you. He was sure of it. Sure, he had heard your name. Sure he had heard rumors and did not once, ever bat an eye towards them, but it was the first time he had ever met you. Under the moon. So... vulnerable.
Claude looks at his hands, squeezes them, and closes his eyes. He feels so sleepy, even after just waking up. And so, Claude is asleep once more. And again, he dreams about his feelings. And again the nightmares or what truly had happened, resurfaced.
But in his dream, he stands in tall green grass, that has white flowers that bloom beneath his feet. He stands tall, and looks at you. Dressed in a nightgown, as you look and admire the white flowers that bloom. Claude is unable to speak. instead, he only stares at you.
After seconds of admiration, you get up, walk over to him to place a white chrysanthemum in his golden hair. You hold a bouquet the same flowers in your hair.
You smile at Claude, proud of what you did.
"[Name]. My [Name]." Claude cracks a grin. "Is it true? That you love me too?" But his grin fades. "Or is it all a lie? And it's really not you? But someone else. If so, what will it take for you to love me?"
Why is it that only in his dreams, he gets to rest? Is this selfish longing, really called love? Claude brings you close. Holding you dear. If it is, he's sorry that he can't make it seem better than this.
"I'm sorry, that I cannot love you better than this. Will you forgive me?" But there is nothing you say. All you do is smile.
"You don't have to answer right away. But promise me this." Claude then brings your head to face him. Your foreheads are pressed against each other, while having his eyes look straight at your [E/C] ones, as he smiles. "You have to answer me someday. Alright?"
All of the white flowers blow past the two of you.
"Claude. My dear brother. Forget her." And in reverse, the entire cascade of the dream is set. Claude wakes up to nothing but a dark room. His heart beats rapidly. Looking to his left, and then to his right, there is nothing. No one. But the cold air and luxury he lives in.
Nothingness.
It was difficult to write this chapter. Dedicating an entire chapter to Claude wasn't BAD, but I felt like I threw some random ass shit together. And yes, the ending was based on Secret Lady: Chapter 70. I hope you enjoyed it. :D
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