The air had shifted. Law could sense it, even though he was stuck several hundred metres below the surface and viewing it all through a tiny broadcaster snail practically smothered by the rest of his crew. There was something in the way everyone's faces had hardened on the surface... the tension in their brows and the fine lines of their mouth... that even with all that distance managed to set him on edge.
His leg had started twitching over 10 minutes ago and didn't want to stop.
To make matters worse, he still had no idea where Strauss was. Well, perhaps that wasn't that bad... if he could see her, that meant the cameras could see her, and the more she was on camera the more likely it was that people would recognise her from a wanted poster. But not knowing where she was increased his agitation somewhat. He'd only come this whole damn way because of her after all. And for the record, it was probably not worth it. No matter how useful she was.
The cameras panned across Whitebeard's crew once again. Possibly a redundant move from a panicking transponder operator who didn't know who would make the first move and needed to pad on time. Still, it meant Law could get a decent read on his 'so called' allies for a bit. None of them had reacted since their captain had shot out that tremor just a little while ago. Poised and present as if they were waiting for an order that never came. A tremor which had done nothing for the record. Which only helped freak him out more, but who was he to assume the logic of an Emperor. Maybe that had been an intimidation tactic.
No. Law's fingers steepled before his face. There had to be more to it than that. Whitebeard wasn't a fool. He wouldn't just show off his power for no reason. But the tremor hadn't physically affected anything, not even to cause an earthquake to destroy some of Marineford's structural supports.
...hang on.
An earthquake... Over a body of water... If he remembered his natural phenomena correctly...
"FUCK!"
Not even bothering who was in his way, Law shot upright. Chair clattering backwards into Bepo's plush fur. The mink blinked a few times, "C-Captain? Is everything alright?"
"We need to get out of here, NOW!" He was sweating. Oh holy shit he was sweating buckets. Since... Since... A hand he couldn't stop from shaking reached out to squeeze his navigator's shoulder "Go watch the currents. We need to ride these just right, otherwise we're completely and utterly fucked!"
"Captain wha-"
"Did you realise something-"
"-s Strauss going to-"
"-going to leave?"
Ngh. Law massaged his temples. This was not the time for everyone to speak all at once and he could barely make out one question from the other. He sucked in a breath. "Everyone just shut up and get moving already. We need as much distance from the isl... no, from Whitebeard as possible. Seems like he's the epicentre, if that's even how it works."
He swallowed down a mouth of dry saliva. Maintaining eye contact with every present member of his crew.
"We've got a tsunami incoming. And if we don't get moving right now, we're dead. So didn't you hear me, MOVE!"
Less than a minute later, the wave of water hit them.
~0O0~0O0~0O0~
Strauss thought this ship was insane. Sanji could tell that much from the slightly wide eyed expression that flickered onto her face wherever she thought no one was looking. Once or twice he'd even caught her testing the turf on the main deck with her foot. Presumably to figure out if it was real or not. And yes, while he understood that this wasn't exactly a typical ship, let alone for pirates, he still couldn't help but find her disbelief just a little bit adorable. Which, let's be honest here, he did his best to encourage.
Punk Hazard had been her terf, and now she was on his. So he sure as hell would show it off to the best of his abilities.
"If I'm honest," she finally said once they'd decided to take a break leaning against the large tree on the main deck, "I'm still hung up on how you can literally fly in this thing. I mean..." Her brow furrowed. Hands making gestures that she couldn't quite verbalise. "...how?! Just how? I can't quite get my head around it."
Chest puffed out in pride, Sanji just smirked at her. "Just wait until you find out what Sunny is powered by."
A significant portion of colour left Strauss's face. "Do I even want to know?"
"Cola."
...
Sanji contentedly rested his face in a hand as he watched the cogs in her head grind to a halt. She wasn't even looking at him anymore. Her gaze was completely vacant as she tried her damn hardest to process that piece of information that he knew full well went entirely against any thread of logic she possessed.
"Cola..." She said eventually. "It runs... on cola...?"
"Yup." He popped the 'p' for good measure. Just to make her suffer.
Somewhere in the background Usopp and Robin's murmurs drifted from the garden, punctuated by Luffy loudly asking where Law was every other second.
Strauss sucked in a defeated breath and fully hid her head in her hands. "Your ship is impossible, you know that? Absolutely impossible."
"Says the person who sails around in a submarine."
"At least it runs on the laws of physics."
"Physics schmysics."
"UUUUUUUUUUUGH..."
Now that they were finally away from the clouded skies of Punk Hazard and he could see her in proper daylight, the impact on the years on her were far more obvious. Her skin was a little more pallid than it had used to be, and there were shadows under her eyes that before he'd thought was a trick of the light. It annoyed him to notice, but the similarities with her captain were obvious.
But he said nothing. It wasn't his place to. No matter how it twisted the knife in his gut to know that his dearest friend had experienced so damn much while he hadn't been there to help... he knew that she wouldn't have it any other way. This had all been her choice. And in all honesty, if the situations were reversed and he was the one who looked wrecked, he would not want her to feel bad about it.
"I look rough, right?"
Sanji's back straightened so hurriedly it almost hurt. "I... No! What are you talking about, you look great!"
Strauss chuckled, "You don't need to lie to me, Sanji. I've been stuck on what basically was a Winter Island with little to no sleep and unhealthy levels of stress. I know I've been better."
He wasn't lying though. While yes, maybe great wasn't the best word for it, she still looked formidable. Anyone who could shoot a death glare with dark circles under their eyes was undeniably amazing, and Strauss was still gorgeous in her tired glory.
"That might be true," he conceded, only because he knew full well that if he voiced his true feelings she'd just wave them away, "but considering everything that's been going on... I don't blame you. Take this time to rest a little if you can."
With a sigh her face fell. "Wish I could. But knowing we're getting closer to Dressrosa is..." She gestured with her hands. Fingers flexing emphatically. "This is something we've been working up towards for... years. How could I not feel stressed?"
"I get it." He nudged her side with a shoulder. "Could I... get you something? A soothing drink or a treat of some kind?"
She sagged a little, eyes gently closing. "That sounds nice. Really nice. I missed seeing you in the kitchen. But-" Blinking awake, Strauss abruptly squared her shoulders- "after this. Since I think we need to talk. And I'm ready to answer whatever you need me to."
The air chilled in his lungs. Dense and heavy.
"Are you... sure?"
He didn't want to push her one way or the other. If she really had made up her mind, it would be insulting to question his resolve. On the other hand he really didn't want to make her feel as though he was insisting on talking to her. But shit... he didn't know how to do this?! All he could do was grasp at straws and hope he was being considerate even though he had next to no idea what the 'right thing' even was. Fuck. Fuck!
A few fingers reached out to rest side by side with his. So close he could feel the warmth radiating off it.
Sanji blinked a few times, just to make sure he was processing this correctly. But Strauss' hand was still there. With more pronounced callouses than he remembered, and scars striping the skin.
"Thank you for worrying about me. I... really."
The distance between their hands closed. Drawing closer and closer together until they physically touched. Until their pinky fingers crossed. Until Sanji finally took the plunge and twisted his hand over for their fingers to interlace. Giving his dear friend something to physically latch onto so tightly it left gouges in his skin.
"But yes. I'm sure."
Without breaking her grasp he slowly shuffled closer until their shoulders touched. "It's okay," he murmured, the proximity making him whisper even though he knew there was no one else around them to listen. "I'll just listen, so say what you need to. I'm here."
Strauss smiled, gratitude clear even if the expression never quite reached her eyes. They had already begun to haze slightly. As if they were looking back to a different place and a different time. And in some ways... a different Strauss.
"Where... do you want me to start?"
"Wherever you need to."
"... that's really not helpful, you realise."
"I can go first if you want."
"No, no..." She gulped, even though her mouth sounded completely dry. "I've psyched myself up for this now, and I just want to get this over with. Just... gimme a bit."
He nodded, giving her hand a light squeeze as he did so. His head was whirling wondering if this was really the right place at the right time and had he really coerced her into doing something she didn't want to but on the other hand this was her decision and holy shit were they holding hands that felt so intimate but it was just holding hands so why was he so bothered by it-?!
Calm down. Now he sucked in a breath of his own, wishing he'd had the foresight to light a cigarette for his nerves. He couldn't think like this, not when she was being so vulnerable around him. This was probably just more side effects from the Kamabakka Kingdom that he hadn't quite acclimatised to. That was it. And right now it really couldn't be anything more.
"I... still don't quite know why I left the Baratie."
O-Oh. That had caught him completely off guard. Sanji wasn't quite sure what he'd been expecting to start with, but it sure wasn't that. Quickly he tightened his jaw and nodded for her to continue.
"It was a week or two after you left. Zeff came in to show me Luffy's bounty poster and part of me just... flipped I guess." Her head leant back to rest against the tree, staring up into its branches. "Something deep down told me that I'd blown my chance to do something. And that if I didn't chase after you right then and there... I'd regret it forever. So I did. Zeff fired me on the spot and took me to Loguetown, but you'd already gone."
Strauss continued in that manner for some time, explaining the convoluted tapestry of connections she'd woven as she made her way across the Grand Line to the Sabaody Archipelago. More than one time Sanji had to suppress a curse as he realised just how close she'd been, and how many times their paths had crossed without either of them knowing. How much more time could they have spent together? How much closer could they be at this moment?
Would she have been a crewmate instead of just his friend.
"So..." Now was the hard part. The bit which they were both scared about. "When I read about Ace in the paper... I knew I had to do something. I owed him a lot... what with helping me get across a decent chunk of Paradise and helping me figure out a few things about myself. He was... a good friend. The only one I'd ever really made after you. He didn't... He really didn't deserve to..." Her voice began to tighten. As if she wanted to constrict any additional emotion from leaving her. "Not like that at least."
How was he supposed to react? Apologies seemed weak, and something within him was beginning to clench like a vice. Which he hated himself for.
"I know." Sanji gave another squeeze of his hand, teeth gnawing the insides of his cheek in the effort to find the words. "I... met him once, and even then he seemed like a pretty decent guy. But you tried your absolute hardest." He twisted so both of his hands were covering hers. Both for her support, and his own. "I know you did. You must realise that."
"And it wasn't good enough."
...
A beat of silence. One he found himself surprisingly struggling to find the words to fill. He should instantly deny it, since she was wrong and so many things only went right there because she was brave enough and kind enough to make the right leap. Not to mention the news afterwards that she'd infiltrated Marineford for days without being caught. But...
... he knew that no matter what he said, she wouldn't believe him.
Which crushed him more than he could say.
"Being in a war was..." Her hand slipped away. Moving to coil around her knees as for the first time he'd seen her, she seemed small. Breakable. "I don't quite... It was just so loud and chaotic and... absolutely terrifying. The only things I can really remember are the sounds of screaming, and swords, and banging, and my own heart beating in my ears, and-and-and the smell of gunpowder and blood and fire and... haaaah!"
Green eyes found his, making eye contact for the briefest of moments. Before his own gaze shifted as a sliver of a tear ran down her cheek.
"I... I can't explain it? E-even to myself? I really thought I could and I could help clarify some things for... Fuck... Fuck!" Strauss grimaced both hands reaching up to swipe broadly at her traitorous eyes as they continued to well up and overflow. "I didn't mean to... I thought I was ready! Shit shit shit stop crying dammit. I mean... fuck. Sorry! I'm so so-"
"No!"
In an instant he had her wrists and were pinning them by her sides. Revealing her red and puffy face that was streaming with snot and tears. And it was like time had reversed, and staring back at him was the younger and more emotive girl that he'd always cared about.
Before he knew it he'd leant forwards and embraced her. Arms wrapped around her torso.
"It's okay." Sanji murmured, forehead tilting until it rested gently against her. "You don't need to say any more. You've told me everything I wanted to know."
And in a weird way, she had. As broad and chaotic as that last conversation was... he didn't need to hear any more. All he'd wanted was some context to fill the gaps, and seeing Strauss like this now made her first appearance back at Punk Hazard that much more understandable to him.
Fingers scabbled into his chest in a futile effort to push him away. "I... I don't need your pity."
"Then take my comfort instead."
He felt her breathe. Trying to find a retort. In and out and in and out and in. Slow, but building speed. Until she fully crumbled, collapsing forwards until her head was on his shoulder and she was sobbing. Not the quiet tears that she'd used to do back at the Baratie, but heavy ones. Noisy ones. Violent enough for her chest to heave with every breath as if one of the convulsions would force out her heart. Sanji stayed there with her, trying to gently keep her from falling apart entirely.
After a short while it seemed as though her heightened emotions became mixed with tiredness and Strauss's eyelids began to droop. He was ready and waiting to act as a pillow for her, only to be startled as she forced herself to her heavy feet. "I... thanks for that." Strauss smiled. Something both tired and genuine. "I really needed it. But I think right now I need a little bit to myself."
"Are you sure?" Sanji scrambled upright himself. "I can help you find a quiet place if you wa-"
"Thanks, but you've already done more than enough for me. And besides-" she gestured to where they were... right in the middle of the main deck- "I'm not exactly comfortable being vulnerable in front of just everyone."
"I..."
He hadn't meant it to be like that. He just didn't want her to feel cornered if he took her into an enclosed space she didn't know about. But he couldn't exactly deny her point. His fists clenched.
"...Sorry."
Once again her hand reached out and clung onto his. "Don't apologise. I meant it when I said I needed this. I just need some alone time to think things through. And," she added through a semi-stifled yawn, dropping his grip in an effort to mask it, "maybe take a nap. That took a lot out of me."
"Yeah..." He forced himself to smile. Since she'd feel so bad about this if he didn't smile. "You... do that. Do you want me to take you to the-"
"Nami has already set something up for me in her and Robin's room." Strauss snorted a little at that. "Don't think I can even remember the last time I've slept in a gendered bedroom. Ignoring when you thought I was male for those first few months." Her face fell as she noticed the lack of response from that barb. "I'll be okay. The moment I can put this feeling into words I'll come tell you as soon as I can. Right now I just need some rest." Taking a step away, she smiled and raised a hand. "See you later?"
Sanji nodded, flicking up his own hand in response. "Will do. Have a good nap."
Watching her walk away like that made his chest want to hollow out. That had not gone the way he planned. Not in the slightest. His mind flicked back to two years ago, to when he'd made a promise to himself never to let her cry again. That had been broken pretty quickly thanks to his impromptu departure with Luffy, but the sentiment behind that childish wish was still there. He still really hated to see her cry. Especially when just acting as a support was the only damn thing he could do, and that didn't seem to be enough.
He sighed. Why was he such an idiot?
"Hm. I was wondering when she'd break."
WHOAHWHOAHWHOAHWHOTHEFUCKWASTHAT?!
Trafalgar Law sniffed in disdain as Sanji whirled around with no small amount of panic to stare at him on the upper deck behind him. "And I thought your Observation Haki was supposed to be good."
"It is." Sanji's brow twitched. "I was just preoccupied. Speaking of that, just how long were you there?"
Law scowled, "You really think I would simply sit up here secretly watching my crewmate without saying anything as she broke down in what is very much a public place?"
Yes? No? It was impossible to tell with him! For all Sanji knew that bastard took delight in his own crewmate's suffering, or was using this as a chance to get research material! How was he supposed to figure out his logic?!
In the end he decided not to answer, and just crossed his arms, "I also noticed you were missing for a little while. Everything alright?"
"I just had to make a little call." That perpetually tired face revealed nothing. "Not that what I do is any of your business."
"Considering that your crewmate is one of..." No. He mentally shook himself. There was no way he could say that. But he sure as hell wouldn't back down now. His pride wouldn't allow it. "That she's a good friend of mine, then yeah. It is a little bit of my business."
"Haaah..." Law pinched the bridge of his nose. "That makes no... Black Leg-ya, look-" he waved a hand in Sanji's direction- "I don't give two shits if you want to keep up this naive 'white knight' persona you have got going on with Strauss-ya. I do not care. Just know that Strauss-ya understands her role perfectly, and if she had a problem with it she would undoubtedly make it known to me. If you know her as well as you say you do, you should realise that she hates other people doing things for her."
The rage that had begun to bubble up from inside of him abruptly vanished. Dissipating into strange and dumbfounded confusion... and guilt.
So much guilt and regret.
"Now if you don't mind-" Trafalgar stood from where he slouched over the railing, slinging that stupidly large sword of his over his shoulder- "I am going to follow my crewmate's example and get some rest. Since I can tell that I am going to need it if I have to tolerate being around this crew."
"Wait."
Sanji really hadn't expected to be listened to, not by Law and especially not with the lacklustre way he'd called out like that. But it appeared that the breathless mumble was enough to make Law pause as he was walking away. It almost took Sanji by surprise.
Law arched a brow at him when he didn't immediately start talking. "What? Get it out already."
"I..." Now that he was actually aware of himself talking, he couldn't help but want to back out immediately. "Well I was just wondering... uh... Since you and Strauss travelled together so much..."
"No."
He felt his spine instinctively straighten.
Again Law sighed, shifting his sword across to his other shoulder as some sort of prop, "I don't know where exactly you're going with this ridiculous probing, but the answer is a clear 'no'. No she didn't cry often. No she never talked about the war with anyone. No I don't bully her, unlike whatever fantasies your idiotic brain thinks up." His face soured. "And the rest is simply no, none of your business."
Sanji frowned, partially from the nonchalance of how he'd been told this information, but mostly from sheer confusion. "Thank you for telling me all that... but it wasn't what I was going to ask."
"Then make up your mind and ask it already," huffed Law. "I'm a busy man, and have wasted enough time as it is."
"Was she happy? Or-" he floundered a little- "Did she at least seem to be content with how things were? Did she have time to rest and take care of herself? I just..." Sanji's shoulders slumped. Weighed down with the sudden realisation that he really be thinking about that sort of thing... especially when she wasn't there to talk about it herself. "Nevermind. Forget I asked."
But Law's face had changed. It was hard to tell, but there was a strange tenseness in there that wasn't anger for once. Nor was it guilt... which just left Sanji even more confused than before. It seemed to be something that only Trafalgar Law and Strauss could find meaning in, leaving him alone on the outside to try and decipher.
"It's... okay." He forced a smile onto his face yet again. "You're right, you're busy and need some sleep, and I'm just keeping you up. If you want-" it felt weird to offer this, and the pettier side of him screamed for him to stop, but for Strauss's sake at the very least- "I can prepare something for when you wake up. You will need to eat after all."
Law flinched a little, before turning to look down at Sanji as if seeing him in a new light. Before snorting. "I believe I can take care of myself."
Crossing his arms, Sanji arched a very incredulous eyebrow, "You do realise that Strauss has told me everything about your diet, right? Ranging from your personal preferences to the many ways she has to coax you into eating meals"
"That little..." He sucked in through his teeth, continuing to mutter curses that Sanji knew couldn't be flattering and would probably piss him off to no end if he could actually hear.
So he chose not to.
"I'll make some onigiri for when you get up." Turning back towards the galley, Sanji simply waved an idle hand as a farewell to the figure behind him. "It'll mean you can eat them while doing whatever annoying thing you think needs doing. No need to thank me."
"But I don't need-"
"And if you don't eat them, I'll tell Strauss."
"..."
Oh he almost cackled at that horrified silence behind him. Serves that cryptic guy right. He'd figured that Strauss would be the one keeping Trafalgar alive all this time, so getting that confirmation pretty much made his day.
Still...
His head fell as he thought about the conversation he'd had with Strauss earlier. About all that had happened, and all that she couldn't talk about. He hoped that even after all of that she'd still had times to smile, and that her other crewmates had been enough to support her even if her Captain was mostly emotionless. It wasn't right for her to have to deal with so much on her own.
Once Sanji got to the galley he began rummaging though cupboards for the short grain rice he used for Zoro's onigiri, only to pause as his hand brushed against one of the coffee bean sacks. He smiled. Head filled with bittersweet memories of eating on rooftops and one year anniversaries. And Strauss's blissful face as she put a cream laden spook into her mouth. Before he squared his shoulders and pulled out the sack.
He didn't know how much time she'd had to be happy in the two years since he'd seen her, but he would make sure she had that time now. No matter how small the gesture.
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A/N
Whooo boy we're here! I haven't even proof read this chapter really, so I hope it's alright. I really struggled with ending up this chapter, particularly since while there is so much going on there isn't much actively advancing the 'plot'. Which niggles at me a little bit but hey. This really needed to be written, even if it didn't necessarily end up the way I wanted it to.
In any case, I hope you guys are doing well! I'm alright myself, gearing up for NaNo again so you might not hear much from me. It's probably going to be a half NaNo because of Uni, but I found it useful last year so I'm going to try and do it again! Maybe with an entirely new idea to see how that goes. It might be good for me to stop overthinking things.
Going to keep this short because gang, I am TIRED. So so tired. And that's probably not a great thing to be when you're editing and posting up your fic but hey, this is depression mood baybeeee!! But I wouldn't give this up for the world, since you guys are awesome. Seriously don't know what I would do without you. I have so many of your comments and messages screenshotted for personal motivation because what you say just gives me the fuzzies each and every time. I cannot thank you enough.
I hope you have a good day or night depending on which time zone you are in, and I'll see you next time! Bye for now!