Play You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift while reading this.
"Sar wake up we need to check out," I said to Sarah while shaking her body, trying to wake her up.
"No, just five more minutes," she groaned.
"No, come on, we have like twenty minutes,"
"Fineee," she groaned finally opening her eyes.
"Morning sleepy," I said sarcastically as she rubbed her eyes.
"Morning," she said in a sleepy tone.
"Come on get ready we have to get back to Kildare," I said to Sarah and she nodded, finally standing up and going to get ready.
"We can get breakfast on the ferry, I just got tickets for one in an hour," I said and started to gather all our things into a bag. "How are you not hungover you had three shots?" Sarah said before brushing her teeth. "I also vomited them at the third club Sar," I said with a chuckle. "True I guess," she chuckled.
"Do you want an aspirin?" I asked and watched as she put on her shoes and jacket. "No it's fine, why did you bring a cute outfit life's not fair," she said looking at what I was wearing. I was wearing a crocheted blue beach top and a mini beige skirt, it was a very cute outfit if I'm being honest.
"Because I like to plan ahead," I said with a smile and she rolled her eyes playfully. "Ready?" I asked her. "Yup, let's roll," Soon we checked out of the hotel and got the ferry to OBX. As we're on the ship getting breakfast my phone lights up and a notification pops up on my home screen.
Rafe❤️
We need to talk
Me
What about?
Rafe❤️
When are you gonna be back?
Me
idk like an hour
Rafe❤️
ok
Me
You didn't answer my question, Rafe
Rafe❤️
doesn't matter
"What the fuck," I say pretty loudly, enough for people to turn their heads to look at me.
"What?" Sarah asks me, peaking at my phone. "Nothing just Rafe," I said and turned off my phone. "He wants to talk," "About?" "No idea," I answered.
"Don't think about it, I'm sure it's nothing," Sarah said to me. "I hope so," I said, leaning on her shoulder.
Soon we arrived back home, Sarah went to the Chateau to meet with John B and I went to Tanny Hill to 'talk' with Rafe.
Getting a 'we need to talk' text is pretty much the worst nightmare of anyone in a relationship so my anxiety was eating me alive. I got in the house and walked to Rafe's bedroom. I knocked and heard him say to get in.
"Hey," I said, entering the room.
"Hey, uh you can sit wherever you want," he said and I nodded.
"So what did you want to talk about?" I said and he scratched his head.
"Uhm I have something to tell you," I nodded my head, telling him to go on.
"Something happened recently and I feel like you deserve to know," he said.
"Rafe, what are you talking about?" I said, tears starting to form in my eyes.
"I uh, I cheated on you," he said. "You what?"
It's funny how four words can completely shatter someone in a million pieces.
"I, I cheated on you," he said. I didn't look at him, I knew that if I did I would break right there in front of him.
"What?" I sobbed.
"A few days ago with a girl named Lola, and listen I'm sorry but it is what it is," he said. No tone of regret in his voice, not even a hint.
All our moments come back to me, the day he said 'I love you', all our dates, the way he would hold me, "I promise to love you forever, never forget that. I love you so much, Lillian Bianca Jones,". All bullshit. "We're over," I said tears on my cheeks. Tears that he would usually wipe off my face. Rafe nodded and turned around, thinking that I was leaving already.
"Are you even sorry?" I asked him. "Yeah," he said, but his tone was the last thing that crashed my last hope. Rafe cheated on me, and he didn't feel bad.
I looked at my hand, wearing the ring he gave me the day we got together.
"This is just a promise ring, I promise to be by your side for all of it. For all the ups and downs. I promise to one day marry you," Liar.
Then I touched the necklace, the necklace I once found comfort in. The words 'I promise to love you forever' lingered in my mind. I took both the objects off my body and threw them at him.
"You promise to love me forever? You're a liar Rafe. You're a fucking liar, and I hate you, I really fucking do," I said to him, turned around, and left Tanny Hill.
______________________________
Rafe's POV:
Ever since Lillian told me what Daniel did to her the day of the kidnapping, a sense of guilt had filled my entire body. Daniel had found Lillian because of me, because I befriended him, and because of that stupid video that went viral at the Italian restaurant.
It was all my fault.
Lillian got raped because of me. Lillian got hurt because of me.
I didn't deserve her. She deserved someone who loved her, who could protect her from all the bad in the world, and I had failed to do that.
That's how I came to the conclusion that she was too good for me and shouldn't be with me. I knew that she was the one, I would never be able to find someone as good as her, but I knew she could find someone better than me.
If you love someone, you will let them go.
That's what I had to do with Lillian. I needed her to hate me. Because I also knew that she didn't blame me for what happened. So I came up with the idea of 'cheating on her' to make her hate me.
Of course, I didn't cheat on her, I could never even look at another woman without wishing for her to be Lillian.
Lillian was always going to be mine, but for her own good I would have to see her life go on and observe her bloom into the smart and successful woman that she would become from the sidelines, and I was trying to cope with that.
Lillian was tough, she could live without me, unlike me with her.
A knock on my door got me out of my thoughts and brought me back to reality. It was happening. I was breaking up with the love of my life.
All because of the man I hated most in the world. Daniel.
"Hey, uh you can sit wherever you want," I said and Lillian nodded. "So what did you want to talk about?" she asked me. My heart beat strong and fast in my chest.
"Uhm I have something to tell you," she nodded her head, telling me to go on.
"Something happened recently and I feel like you deserve to know," I said. I could see her face change, one of sadness and confusion replacing the usual beautiful smile I was used to. "Rafe, what are you talking about?" she said, tears starting to form in her eyes. That sight broke me more than I thought it would, her crying because of me.
"I uh, I cheated on you," I said. "You what?" I could see those words shatter her, along with me.
I hate love. It only ends up breaking everyone involved.
"I, I cheated on you," I said. I was grateful she wasn't looking at me, had she been doing that, she would see the look on my face. One of guilt sadness and love, for her. I was acting as if I didn't care about her when really she was the only thing I cared about.
"What?" she sobbed. Breaking my heart even more. "A few days ago with a girl named Lola, and listen I'm sorry but it is what it is," I said.
"We're over," she said tears on her cheeks.
Tears that I would usually wipe off her face.
I nodded and turned around, if I didn't she would see me, and if she saw me she would know. That's how it is with Lillian, she always knows when I'm sad, angry, happy, and on and on. She knows me better than I do. She knows everything better than I do.
"Are you even sorry?" she asked me. "Yeah," I said, trying to sound as unbothered as I could, she needed to hate me. All of a sudden I could see her necklace and her ring being thrown at me. "You promise to love me forever? You're a liar Rafe. You're a fucking liar, and I hate you, I really fucking do," she said to me, turned around, and left Tanny Hill.
Mission accomplished I guess. She hated me, the one person who loved me for me hated me. And I orchestrated all of it.
What did I do?
"Fuck," I yelled and out of anger, punched a hole in the wall of my bedroom. A bedroom that Lillian once used to sleep in, feel safe in, one that was now haunted by the presence of the woman I loved most in the world.
The only person I loved in the world.
And she wasn't mine.
I ran out of my house, got on my bike and my emotions brought me to one place.
Barry's.
I consumed one line after the other, each one making me forget. Making me forget who Lillian had become to me, making me only remember who I was before summer started. Making me forget all the pain I had caused to Lillian. Making me forget the fact that she wasn't mine.
Back to my old self.
Notes From The Author:
Oh my fucking god bro. I was crying while writing this and I'm so sorryyyyy guys. But once again this is just the starttt. I'm slowly making my way back to long chapters and next one is probably going to be normal length againn.
I'm so excited to see where the story will take Lillian and Rafe but rn I just want to punch the miscommunication if the face.
Thank you so much for reading and please vote or comment!!!
Love you all so much! X!