[analysis and constructive criticism]
Hi again!
So, a little overview of what this chapter is for those of you who have not read my books before. The analysis + c.c. portion of my books is where I basically break down the aspects of my story and analyze how I wrote it, the plot, and the general story, and then constructively criticize my work so that I can improve for later on. If you're interested in reading this part, feel free to continue, but I do write it mostly for my own good! You can skip this part if you want as well.
So, first and foremost, thank you to everyone who took the time to read my story, and even more thanks to those who interacted with it by liking and commenting. Though I cannot always reply to all of them, I do see the comments and read them, and let me just say they truly make my day. Thank you all for motivating me to write. I love each and every one of you dearly :)
So, lets get started.
[analysis]
Let's begin with the analysis. I wrote this book because I LOVE gothic victorian literature. Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre are among some of my favorite books of all time. I wanted to create something gritty and dark and fun inspired by books like that, but I also wanted to incorporate supernatural and Halloween-like aspects. So, I made a book that had witches, warlocks, werewolves, vampires, and Frankenstein-like monsters!
I've never really wrote anything quite like this before. I've written sci-fi books in the past (one called 'Venom' more particularly, a BTS ot7 fanfic that I've yet to finish lol), but nothing with vampires and all that. It was an opportunity for me to think outside the box and create scenarios with these creatures that I had never really tried to sit down and write before. If you couldn't already tell, a lot of the aspects of this stir were heavily inspired by The Vampire Diaries and Twilight, but, of course, I tried to stick to the gothic English literature roots the best I could manage, and took inspiration from Frankenstein and Dracula as well.
Writing in a Victorian-like style was something to get used to. I wasn't really sure how to write a book in the style of old gothic literature without making it boring and wordy, so in order to create a smoother read, I incorporated some modern language and writing into the dialogue and descriptions. I think this technique served me well, for when I have reviewed my chapters, I find that they're themed, but also not to difficult to comprehend. I haven't went back and reread the entire story quite yet, but I pray that, all in all, the book is smooth in plot and story and language.
So, let's review the story a little bit. Jezebel Barker is an eighteen-year-old Englishwoman from the English moors, who lived with her devoted Christian family her entire life and worked ceaselessly to support her family and siblings. She was never very close with her father, the elusive Damien Barker, but they would spend time together by reading history books and discussing politics and such. One day, her entire family comes down with tuberculosis and all sadly pass away, leading Jezebel and Damien alone and to fend for themselves as they figured out what to do next in mourning. Then, they receive an invitation for temporary residence at Riley Castle while they get back on their feet, and Damien accepts. Jezebel is uncertain about this decision, however, and fears the darkness and eeriness of the big castle.
And this is where our story begins! Jezebel begins by meeting the owner of the castle, Count Ghost, who is a sexy, alluring man with strange eyes that flare red at random intervals. Curious about him, and about the mysteries of the large castle, Jezebel begins to interacts with her environment in a variety of ways, and this produced some strange results. She has an odd nightmare of burning down the entire forest outside the castle, and about murdering a large grey wolf with yellow eyes (if you hadn't realized already, this foreshadows the ending of 'Castle,' where this did actually happen, but Johnny, thankfully, survived. [also, to explain this further, Jezebel begins to adopt her witchiness when she comes of age {18}, and basically, to put it simply, her intuition {Mother Nature} was warning her of the very possible future]).
Jezebel then meets König, a stitched and stapled monster created by the mad scientist Dr. John Price who lives in the basement of the castle in his laboratory. She begins to adore him, though she does not realize it at first, and soon discovers that König was designed to protect her. The Doctor did this in order to protect his old friend, Damien Barker's, daughter, once he had realized she was in danger of the Count (which John MacTavish had discovered and informed him of). Keep in mind, all of this information is not completely realized and acknowledged by Jezebel until different parts of the book. I'm trying to write this the best I can remember for summary and timeline-sake.
To recollect as quickly and shortly as possibly, Jezebel begins to fall in love with König as she learns more and more about the residents of the castle and about Count Ghost. She learns Johnny's backstory, and starts seeing some strange behaviors from him whenever, coincidentally, there is a silverly full moon hanging in the sky (she much later finds out this is because he is a werewolf). She eventually, also, discovers that Count Ghost is a vampire, and that he wants to "claim" her as her own (siring), but cannot fathom why. All she knows is that she has to kill him to protect her freedom, for she knows that he will chase her over hills and valleys do to so.
Keep in mind, I am very aware that early on, the reader already knew how to kill the Count (due to one of the first few chapters entailing a conversation between Damien and Dr. Price) but for tension and story's-sake, Jezebel is too stubborn to talk to her father and ask him if he knows. So, at the very end, she has to find out herself that to kill a vampire, you must burn them with blue flames. This action can typically only be completed by a witch, who can harness such a power. Keep in mind that Damien could not do this himself, for it takes a very powerful and young witch at their peak to harness blue flames, and Damien was much past his prime.
At the very end, Jezebel finally learns, after all the hints and bits of information she acquired over time from Ghost, why exactly he wants to sire her — her mother. The Count was taken in by Charlotte Crowley at a very young age when he was merely a beggar and an orphan, and she fed him and gave him shelter. This caused Simon Riley to fall in love with Charlotte, and he loved her so much that he gave up his life for her at the Bakewell Witch Trials, shielding her from her death.
Ultimately, Ghost was stoned to death as a result, but was brought back to immortal life by a strange passerby who had done a blood exchange and turned him into a vampire. Jezebel, after allowing herself to be sired for this information, and for the proceeding information on how to kill a vampire (with blue flames), kills the Count in a murderous rage after he decapitated Jez's father, and then burns Castle Riley to the ground, along with every vampire Ghost had ever taken in for residence in the castle in it.
Note: Afterward (not told in the actually story) Jezebel healed Johnny's burns and ran away with König, and they lived in peace ever since. She buried her father in the moors with her mother, and Dr. Price and Johnny went their own ways — Dr. Price to his distant family in eastern England to reconnect, and Johnny back to Scotland to build a life for himself.
The general theme of this story is not very clear, and I acknowledge that. The vision I had for this book was that innocence, as easily as one has it from birth and beyond, is easily ripped away when we are forced into undesirable environments and situations. Basically, shit just happens, darkness just happens, and there's nothing we can do about it, but prevail, and burn bridges (literally) and move on. And that's just what Jezebel does.
[constructive criticism]
So now, let's criticize this book. I'm proud of this book, and it was a huge learning curve for me. It taught me how to expand my use of language and how to imagine more creatively and vividly, and promoted out-of-the-box thinking and storytelling. Most of all, it was just fun. When I was younger on Wattpad, I loved fan fictions like this. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but its most definetly mine, and I'm so grateful I got the opportunity to write something I loved, and love, to read.
Although I was decently creative with backstories and storytelling and such, I wish I had been more creative when telling readers plot twists and new information. I felt like it was a little bland, but hopefully I can improve upon this next time.
When it comes to sexual scenes and tension, I think I ddi decently well but I definelty could have incorporated more angst. If you guys know me at all, you'll know that I LOVE writing and reading angst. It's just, ugh, so good. I could have done a lot more with that. In my notes, I had originally planned for Simon and Jezebel to have sex once she was sired, but I dropped that idea because I thought it would seem like she was forced into it AFTER she was sired, and if I had done it BEFORE she was sired, well... that doesn't really seem like something Jez would do at all, especially if she was so in love with König like she was.
I think I did pretty good at pacing this book though, ut I hope the ending wasn't too rushed. I didn't want to drag the story out any longer than it should have been. I also planned this book fairly well like, 'black swan.' and I'm so glad I did. It made writing chapters a MILLION times easier. Back in the day, when I wrote books, I would just go off a whim and write however I wanted, and this caused problems for me later on because I would forget what I would previously write. I kind of slipped up and did this a bit when writing this book, and didn't always follow what I had planned very well. This caused some plot holes (which I previously acknowledged in a few author's notes, which are now deleted), but I managed to fix them. I learned from this, and I feel like, conclusively, it made me a better writer. I hope, that from here on out, I can only continue to improve. Here are my notes for this story below:
[conclusion]
Conclusively, I like this book a lot, and I am so very excited to go back and reread it and, too, look at all of your comments:)) Seriously, I LOVE reading your comments. I can't tell you how many times I have straight up rolled around laughing from how funny you guys are.
So, I'll say it again, thank you all SO much for reading, commenting, and voting. I love you all more than you'll ever know. Thank you for reading Castle :)🖤
-abi