"No!" I jump up as piercing sobs escape my mouth. I keel over and bury my head into my knees, bawling and screaming.
I cover my ears, attempting to stop the images from playing over and over in my head.
It's not long until a figure comes through my door and jumps up beside me. Peeta. He wraps his arms around me and runs his hands through my tangled hair. I pant and gasp as I attempt to catch my breath.
I cry as I hold on to Peeta as tight as I can. Images of mutts and lost children swarm around in my brain.
Peeta clenches me tightly, rocking me back and forth. He assures me everything will be okay.
He kisses my head softly as my sobs slowly turn into small hiccups. I dig my head into Peeta's chest and listen to the steady thud of his heart beat. It instantly calms me.
"Peeta?" I manage to choke out as I look up at him, my eyes teary and my face broken. "Will you stay with me?"
Peeta lays me back and tucks me in. He wraps his strong arms around my tiny and rubs my arm softly. "Always." He whispers. I sink farther into his embrace, and practice breathing to calm myself. Peeta continues to rub my arm, comforting me the best he can.
After hours of laying lifelessly in his embrace, I decide that there is no way I will find sleep. Not tonight. Not after the horrifying nightmares that I know will welcome me once I close my eyes.
I toggle with the small rings that lie upon my fingers and stare at them. I remember the day Peeta and I were married like it was yesterday, although I'm not sure it was the ideal wedding.
It was held at the capital, and was broadcasted through all of the districts. Only the highest class people of Panem were permitted to attend, along with my mother and Prim. Peeta's family didn't make an effort to come.
Peeta and I were forced into marriage, on behalf of President Snow's theory that the districts don't believe our love story, which was causing rebellion in the districts.
They apparently see our love as an "act of defiance."
Although, I've convinced myself that I don't need anyone, I'm not sure of how I feel about everything. I feel a constant need for Peeta's comfort and affection. It's something I can't live without.
We live in separate houses, being that we are only 17. I live with my mother and Prim, but I often sleep at Peeta's house, where he lives alone.
I look up at the clock, that reads 3:17. I drag myself out of bed, knowing that there is no way I will find sleep tonight. I and tip toe down the stairs into the kitchen, where I pour myself a glass of water.
I sit down on the small settee in Peeta's living room, and stare into my drink. Tomorrow, we will embark in our first victory tour.
Day by day, we will visit each district to give small speeches to the families of the fallen tributes.
I can't fathom to understand why we have to do such a thing. I have no idea how I will face the parents of the children I have killed. Especially Rue's family.