"Her skin smells of vintage books and pale moonlight, exotic things, forbidden loves and rainy nights."
― Melody Lee
∞
Chapter 18
I keep murmuring curses while glaring at myself in front of the mirror. Tama nga ang sinabi ni Kaius; he'll leave a red mark. It was so red that it would take 3 weeks for it to vanish.
Paano na 'to? Basa pa rin ang mga turtle neck clothes ko. Should I use a shawl? Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at bumalik sa aking closet. Hinablot ko ang shawl at itinali sa aking leeg. Laking pasalamat ko nang bumagay naman ito sa long-sleeved floral dress na suot ko. I tied my hair into a ponytail and wore a white doll shoe.
Muli akong tumitig sa salamin, at nang makuntento sa 'king itsura ay pinulot ko ang puting sling bag at naglakad palabas ng condo. I locked the door before walking gracefully towards the elevator. Nang bumukas ang pinto ay agad akong pumasok. Humikab pa ako habang nagpipindot sa floor na lalabasan ko.
My phone suddenly vibrated inside my bag. Nagtataka kong kinuha ito sa 'king bag at tinignan kung sino ang nag-text. An unknown number flashed on my screen, followed by a message. The familiar mumber. Binasa ko agad ang mensahe.
I never did save his number. I just don't feel like it. Ngumiwi ako. I leaned against the wall as I read his message.
From Unknown:
I'm going to Cebu. Just an emergency. Call me back after reading this message.
Doon ko lang rin napansin na meron pala akong sampung missed call mula sa kanya. Instead of making it as a big deal, I turned off my phone and put it back on my bag. Sakto ring pagbukas ng pinto at bumungad sa'kin ang parking lot. Humikab akong muli at naglakad palabas ng elevator patungo sa sasakyan ni Kaius. Yes, the car that my sister gave me to use temporarily is his.
Pumasok agad ako sa loob ng sasakyan at nilagay sa shot gun seat ang aking bag. I fastened my seatbelt and turned on the radio as I also turned on the car's engine. Hinintay ko munang uminit ang makina habang nakikinig sa kantang pinapatugtog ng radyo. Isang kantang hindi ko alam ang pamagat. It just played, and it hit me big time.
'But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you'
Nangunot ang noo ko. Sinadya ba 'to o nagkataon lang?
"Whoever the fuck is the song writer, may God bless them..." I murmured and maneuvered the car out of the place.
I didn't just mind the song and keep my eyes on the road. Sumasagi sa isipan ko ang mga posibleng mangyari kapag nabulgar ang katotohanan.
Will she loath me?
She will. At hindi ko siya masisisi. We have a child, may nangyari ulit sa amin ni Kaius, and those reasons are enough to hate me. Disown me as her sister, loath me, curse me, and even swear to the depths of hell. I can't blame her. I won't blame her.
Kahit sino ay maiinis at magagalit sa 'kin. A mistress? Just the word itself, kukulo na kagaad dugo ng isang tao.
My mind is full of unsaid things, and they will remain unspoken. No one has the right to hear those unsaid and unspoken thoughts that were creeping inside my head.
Nang makarating ako sa kompanya ni Kiyo ay agad kong pinarke ang sasakyan at lumabas bitbit ang aking bag. Siniguro ko munang hindi nakikita ang hickey na gawa ni Kaius bago ako lumabas. The guard greeted me. Tuloy-tuloy ang lakad ko patungong elevator at pinindot ang up button.
Moments later, the elevator opened and two females stepped out. Pumasok naman ako at isasara na sana ang pinto nang may pumasok na lalaking sa tingin ko ay isang banyaga. He entered the elevator and pressed the close button.
Bumaling ito sa 'kin at ngumiti. "Hey."
I forced a smile and greeted back, "Hey."
Lumapit ako sa mga buttons at pinindot ang lapag na hihintuan ko. Ramdam ko naman ang pagsunod ng tingin ng kasama ko. I suddenly felt awkward knowing that there were only the two of us inside these four corners of the room.
"I'm Jeiko Rancano. You are?" pormal nitong pagpapakilala. He even extended his hands for a shake.
Hilaw akong ngumiti rito bago ko tinanggap ang kanyang kamay. "I'm Sam Kainashi."
"Sam," he murmured as we shook hands. Nauna akong bumitiw at ngumiti. "Anong trabaho mo rito?"
"I'm an architect, working for this company," I replied.
Tumango ito. "I see. You are beautiful, by the way."
I chuckled. "Bolero ka pala."
Tumawa naman ito nang bahagya at umiling. "I'm stating the fact, Sam."
Umiling lamang ako rito. "Thank you if that's the case."
He answered me with a smile. Bumukas naman ang pinto kaya nagpaalam na ako sa kanya. Tinanguhan lamang ako nito, kasabay ng pagsarado ng pinto ng elevator. I just shrugged to myself and walked towards my table.
Sinalubong naman ako ni Claire ng mapanuksong tingin. "Kita ko 'yun, ah. Sino 'yun?"
"Ang gwapo!" tili ni Ren.
Napairap na lang ako. Dumapo ang paningin ko kay Hiro na naglalakad palapit sa 'kin. "Pinapatawag tayo."
"Kasama sina Claire?" I asked.
Umiling naman ito. "No. Just the heads. Ngayon daw."
Bahagya akong nabigla sa biglaang pagbigkas nito ng salitang tagalog. "What is it again?"
He rolled his eyes. "He said now."
I chuckled and shook my head. "Ayaw pang magtagalog."
Aangal pa sana si Hiro nang tumikhim si Claire, "Baka nakakalimutan niyong nandito pa kami?"
--
"It's not optional. It's mandated. Iyan ang napag-usapan namin ni Ice. We don't want our people to be stressed over their work. So even if you like it or not, you'll attend this gathering. Anyway, it's just for three days."
Tumango kami. Magkakaroon daw kami ng break for 3 days. And it would be in Boracay. Siguro ay nakikita na nilang stressed na kami kaya pinagpapahinga nila kami. But seriously, 3 days break and be with my son is enough. Full energy na agad ako after three days.
"Everything is free unless you buy something like souvenirs. That's not part of the budget. Are we clear with that?"
"Yes, Sir."
He nodded. "Good. Now, dismiss."
Tumayo naman agad ako at nag-inat ng katawan. Everyone's faces were now bright, unlike a moment ago. Maaliwalas na ang expresyon sa kanilang mga mukha matapos marinig ang magandang balita. Nilapitan naman ako ni Hiro at inakbayan. Sabay kaming naglakad palabas ng pinto.
"I'm excited!" a girl exclaimed.
"Kasama natin si Sir Ice at Kiyo. Oh my gosh! I'm excited to see them shirtless," impit na tili ng isa dahilan upang mapairap ako.
Seriously, girls?
"What's with that look?" sambit ni Hiro sa tabi ko.
"Nothing," I murmured.
We just continued walking until we reached the elevator. Walang imik kaming pumasok dito ni Hiro. He pressed our floor and waited for the elevator to move. Sumandal naman ako sa gilid ng elevator at pinikit ang aking mga mata. I'm sleepy.
"Why don't you try something, Sam?" Hiro murmured making me open my eyes.
Kami lamang dalawa ang na sa loob ng elevator. Marahil ay nahuli kami lumabas. He's leaning in the opposite direction. Basically, magkaharap kami ngayon.
"What kind of new?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Maybe dating someone. You know, diverting your attention for someone. What you have with that asshole is a forbidden shit. It's a sin, Sam. There's also a chance that you and your sister would fight over this matter." Humugot ito ng malalim na hininga. "That's the only way for you to stop loving a forbidden person. He's married with your sister. Would you settle yourself being his mistress?"
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. Unti-unting pinoproseso ng utak ko ang sinabi niya. He's right. Would I settle myself as his second choice? As his mistress? Hindi ako makakibo. Dapat ko bang gawin ang sinasabi niya? Magbabakasakaling makalimutan ko rin siya?
But hell, I've been doing that for five years. But I never tried dating other men. Should I date now? Ang tanong, sino namang i-de-date ko?
Wala akong naging imik hanggang sa makarating kami ng aming floor. Hiro directly went to his table while I went with mine. Umupo ako sa aking upuan at tinignan ang mga sticky notes na nakadikit sa glass ng aking mesa. Most of it are reminders. Pero ang sticky note the sulat kamay ni Kai ang nagpangiti sa'kin.
"お母ちゃん大好き!"
It says, 'I love you, mommy'. It's the only thing that cheers me up, makes me smile, and lifts my mood whenever I feel down, tired, or have the urge to break down. I honestly want to put my son's picture frame on my table, but that would be too risky. Maybe setting it as my wallpaper is enough.
Nagsimula na akong gumalaw sa mga dapat kong gawin. Wala akong mapapala kung matutulala lamang ako. Isasantabi ko muna ang mga salitang narinig ko mula kay Hiro. It will only distract me.
The clock is ticking two in the afternoon when someone called my name. Kunot-noo ko itong tiningnan.
"Ikaw nga!" Nilapitan ako nito at doon ko lang napansin na siya 'yung best man sa kasal nila ni Ate. Bryle. "Hey, it's been a while."
Ngumiti ako rito. "Hey, anong ginagawa mo rito."
He shrugged at walang atubiling umupo sa aking mesa. "Just visiting a friend. You work here?"
"Yup," I replied and nodded. "Good to see you again."
Ngumiti ito. Hindi ko maiwasang mapailing sa kakaibang kislap ng mga mata nito. Men. "Me, too. So good that I wanna ask you out for a dinner tonight. Hoping you won't decline me."
Napatingin ako kay Hiro. He raised his brow before smiling. Napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga. "I'm still at work, Bryle."
"Great!" Tumayo ito at nakapamulsang tumingin sa 'kin. "I'll pick you up this afternoon, five. See you." Nag-flying kiss pa ito na ikinatawa ko nang bahagya.
Nang mawala ito sa paningin ko, rinig ko naman ang mga pasimpleng pag-ubo at pangingindat nila Claire. I just didn't mind her and continue working.
Mabilis na lumipas ang oras. Unti-unti nang nagsisiuwian ang mga kasamahan ko. Claire and Ren already said goodbyes, at kami na lang dalawa ni Hiro ang natira. Bukas ang alis namin kaya siguro nagmamadali ang iba na umuwi upang mag impake. Boracay sounds exciting.
Habang nagliligpit ako ng aking mga gamit ay nilapitan ako ni Hiro.
"Who was that?" he asked.
Tinignan ko ito. "Si Bryle, kaibigan ni Mr. Imperial."
He nodded. "You're going out on a date?"
Isinukbit ko muna ang sling bag sa aking balikat at ngumiti. "Yeah. He'll pick me up here now."
"Good to know. I'll go ahead," pagpapaalam nito at hinalikan ang noo ko. I just gave him a smile as he entered the elevator.
Niligpit ko pa ang ibang gamit ko bago ako lumisan. Tumungo agad ako sa elevator at pinindot ang down button. Hinugot ko muna sa aking sling bag ang aking cellphone habang naghihintay sa pagbukas ng elevator.
Lumukob sa sistema ko ang kaba nang makita ang mahigit isang daang mensahe at missed call mula sa isang hindi rehistradong numero. I bit my lip before turning my phone off. I'll ignore him from now on.
Bumukas ang elevator at pumasok na ako. I pressed the first floor and waited 'til I arrived. Agad rin naman akong naglakad palabas nang makatuntong ang elevator ng first floor.
"Looking beautiful," bungad sa 'kin ni Bryle nang makalabas ako ng building.
I smiled and shook my head. "Hello, too."
He chuckled and opened the passenger's seat for me. "Hop in, gorgeous. Let me take you to paradise."
Tuluyan na akong humalakhak. "What kind of Paradise is it?"
"Luxury Restaurant." He grinned.
Napailing na lang ako at pumasok na sa loob ng kanyang sasakyan. Umikot din naman ito bago pumasok. I fastened my seatbelt.
"After here, dito mo lang din ako ulit ibalik, ah," I told him.
His forehead creased. "Why?"
"Nandito ang sasakyan ko."
Ngumiti itong muli. "A'right. Let's go."
--
"Siraulo," I chuckled.
We're inside a Japanese Cuisine. Sabi niya ay gusto niyang makakain ng mga pagkaing hapon. Kaya kahit nahihirapan siyang gumamit ng chopsticks ay pinilit niya ang sariling matuto. He's a fast learner I can tell.
"Seriously, I'm still not planning on settling down. Gusto ko pang manatili sa buhay ko ngayon," sagot nito.
Napailing ako. "Why don't you try? Masarap umuwi lalo na kapag may uuwian ka at may naghihintay sa 'yong pag-uwi."
Natigil ito sa pagsubo at tinignan ako. "You talked as if you're already married. Are you? May asawa ka na siguro."
"Ano?" Gusto kong tumawa ngunit masyadong inappropriate 'yun lalo na't kaharap ko ang hapagkainan. "Silly. I'm not married, idiot."
"Grabe. May silly na nga, may idiot pa," sambit nito at pinagpatuloy ang pagkain. "Pero seryoso, wala ka talagang boyfriend?"
Umiling ako. "Wala nga. And I'm not planning to."
"Pero kapag may manliligaw sa 'yo, bibigyan mo ng tyansa?"
I chuckled. "Why are you asking about that?"
"Just curious." He shrugged.
Mahina akong napailing. Sumagi agad sa isip ko ang mga sinabi sa akin ni Hiro. Doon ko lamang napagtanto na hindi siguro masama kung susubukan ko. "Siguro, oo."
"Paano kapag nangligaw ako?"
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya at nag-angat sa kanya ng tingin. I was about to utter a word when someone spoke.
"Having fun together? Can I join?"
Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa chopsticks at humugot ng malalim na hininga. Kita ko namang nag-angat si Bryle ng paningin sa bandang likod ko.
"Hey, bud. What brings you here?" tanong ni Bryle.
Tumikhim si Kaius sa likod ko. "I came to fetch her."
Tinignan ako ni Bryle na may pagtataka. Hilaw akong ngumiti dito. "I-I actually texted him to fetch me. I just didn't know h-he'd come sooner."
Tumango si Bryle at ngumiti. "A'right. Maybe I'll take you home next time. For now, have a goodnight, Sam."
"You too, Bryle."
Ngumiti ako. Nagpaalam na rin si Kaius. Nang makatayo ako ay tipid kong nginitian si Bryle bago ako gumawa ng mabibilis na hakbang papuntang elevator. I pressed the button and waited for the door to open, not bothering to look behind my back.
Napasinghap ako nang may humila sa kamay ko at kinaladkad ako sa isang nakabukas na elevator. This one's private as far as I know.
The pulled me inside and pressed the close button. Mas lalo akong napasinghap nang itulak ako nito pasandal sa pader at agad na pinagitnaan ng kanyang magkabilang braso.
"You really need to talk," he whispered. His jawset and his eyes were sending me dagger looks. "You have lots of explanationsto tell me."
END OF CHAPTER 18