Alice
I'm travelling today, and I'm in a private jet as well. I think it is the first time I've been in a private aeroplane and I'm happy that we decided to do that. I know that we could fly in business but that wouldn't go as low key as we wanted to go. Two of the biggest names out there travelling together is big news and I don't want to make it to the news these days.
Things with my mother are going well, only because she doesn't communicate with me at all. I don't want to break it and have her text me again. Harry and Cara insist on me blocking her but I can't, I surely can't. She's my mother after all. Some nights, when I can't sleep and I don't have Harry to braid my hair and whisper sweet nothings to me, I try to find the things I've done wrong to deserve that kind of treatment. I try to forget it all and leave her behind. But I just can't, the scars are deeper and I can't forget everything that she said to me, to the little girl that she was raising. Someone told me that someone who loves you wouldn't do this, and Harry tends to remind me that even if we are family, we are not the same.
"What are you thinking?" Harry asks me and gives me a water bottle I didn't ask for.
I shake my head. "Nothing, just how good life is lately. I'm here with you and I'm about to watch you sing live for the first time ever." I admit. It's a shame that I haven't watched him perform live and the only performance that I've seen was the one on the Late Late show. I still try to forget all the crying I did that night.
"I wish you were somewhere in the crowd." He says as he sits on the couch I am sitting. He takes me into his arms and I place my head in his chest. His perfume is still noticeable even though we are on air for a long time.
"I wish that too, but you know about how everyone is. It's not that simple to be at one of your shows in the other corner of the world when everyone knows I am currently working."
"I wish we were just us, just for a day. Just Harry and just Alice, not Harry Styles and Alice Knightley. I am so done with the name and the act I have to keep from time to time. It's tiring!" He lets out his thoughts and I nod because I know exactly how he feels. I take his right hand and I kiss it. He giggles at my gesture and holds me closer to him, even if it isn't possible.
"God, get married already." Cara sighs and I look at her. Harry laughs. "I'll marry her and I'm not going to invite you." He pecks my lips and Cara throws a pillow at us. Jeff is done with all of this and he changes the subject of the conversation immediately.
"So, Alice, are you going to watch the show from the vip?" He asks me and I shake my head.
"No no, backstage for today. I can't deal with all the rumours that my presence is going to start." I try to explain my reasons to the two managers in front of me. They seem to understand and Jeff says to us that the moment we land we will go straight to the stadium. Different cars and all. He knows how to do this, he has done it again for Harry and I.
-
The show was amazing. The energy, from both Harry and the crowd, was something exceptional. Some days ago, I read somewhere that Harry's voice can grow flowers and I think it really does. He was giving it all and everyone can feel how much he loves his job. I cried so much during Matilda, a song that makes me cry every time I hear it, but it's completely different listening to it live. Cara and Jeff were by my side and I'm sure that Harry told them to be. They know about my mother, the monster woman as H calls her now, and they were there in case I broke down worse than I did.
I watch Harry walk backstage, his arm around Pauli's neck. He laughs with all his heart at something Pauli says and I can't help it but smile.
"ALICE, my baby." He basically screams as he sees me and runs to me. I open my hands but he has other intentions. He wraps his hands around my waist and my feet are off the ground before I get to think about it. Everyone laughs at how playful he is and he just says that he loves me. Lloyd holds his camera up and takes a few photos, not to share with the world, just for us so we can remember the moment.
"You were so amazing, I loved it, I love you." I say when I have the chance.
"Thank you baby, I wish you were in the crowd. I wish I could see your pretty face."
"Next time. Now you have to change. We have to go back to the hotel." He nods and he rushes to his changing room. I stay behind chatting with NyOh and Pauli. I'm glad he is surrounded by good people.
Another 30 minutes pass and Harry comes out with wet hair and a pair of pleasing sweats. A pleasing sweatshirt on his hand as well as a cap. "We can leave together, but you have to be disguised." He explains and I nod. I wear the hoodie and the cup and I open my phone to see myself.
"Let's take a selfie." I say and he shakes his head but smiles nonetheless. "I wish I could post it."
"Would you post about me?" He asks all seriously while he takes my hand and we walk towards the car. We don't say goodnight to the other two because we'll see them at the hotel for a drink.
"Of course. I want to show you off darling, I mean look at you. You are so gorgeous. When I'm ready, I am going to let anyone know that this boy is mine."
We are outside the door, he looks around him and then he kisses my lips softly. "No other girlfriend of mine wanted to post about me online." He says, "I mean I'm very private myself because I know how messy it can get." He opens the car door and I keep my head to the ground because you never know who is watching. He's Harry Styles after all.
When we are inside the car, I speak. "It gets messy everytime I show up in public, I know I can handle everything." I laugh but we both know that it is true.
"God, I love you."
-
Harry Styles has a new affair and we know all the hot secrets behind the photos
Harry Styles had been seen kissing a young woman yesterday night after his first show of his Australian tour. The 29 years old popstar hasn't been seen with a woman in a long time since his break up with Lana James but he has FINALLY moved on.
They were dressed the same but the woman seems too educated on his lifestyle to let us know her identity. We talked with a member of his crew and they told us that the woman is someone knew, someone the world doesn't know and it seems like a one night thing.
You don't have to worry harries, Harry Styles is still single.
Read more:
Where the hell have you been, Alice Knightley? Alice Knightly seen on the airport coming home from Italy
Fineas: He talks about being on tour with his sister and when he is getting married.
"God, they are unstoppable." Harry says as he reads the article Cara sent us. I left Australia yesterday and I've been papped two times already. Multiple articles where they are wondering where I've been and with whom but this one is the best. We know that they tried to communicate with Pauli and Pauli, being Pauli, gave them all the wrong information.
"They know better H." I say ironically.
"What are you doing, my darling girl?"
"Oh, nothing special. I made some cookies and they are amazing. Your mother's marmalade is so tasty."
"Oh, I have her send you another vase."
-
Last day of Love On Tour and everybody is emotional. The play ended last week and the next day I took the first plane and came straight to Harry. He was so sad that he missed the final night but I assured him that it was something special because the play is going to be in theatres next season too. He watched it so many times that I'm sure he can recite all the dialogues now.
"Are you watching with me tonight?" Brad asks me as we watch Harry sound check. It's really hot in Italy right now and I can't even imagine how the fans feel. They are outside Reggio Emilia all day now and I was a step away from going and giving them water bottles myself.
"Yes, but he doesn't know. If he knew, I'm sure he would only watch us and no one else. You know how excited he gets."
"Oh yes, I know. Gemma is going to be there as well, you met her before right?"
"I did, yes. He was sad that his mother couldn't make it tonight."
"I know, but he will forget about it when he sees you."
Harry finishes the soundcheck early and he comes straight to us. "I missed you."
"I was right there." I giggle and he hugs me, putting his head on my neck.
"I know, but you weren't close enough." He mumbles and I watch Brad leave without saying a word. They all do the same when we get clingy. "I'm so sad that it ends."
"I know my darling, I know. But now, you can create something again, at your own pace without being on the road all the time. We can go on holidays and we will spend time together again. You will be closer to your family and your friends and you will have time to relax." I try to ease his sadness a bit. Brad told me that he was just like that and on the previous tour.
"What would I do without you?"
"Oh, you would be miserable." I try to joke just so he can laugh but he nods.
"I know. I have to get ready. Doors open in a few minutes." He takes my hand and leads me backstage. "I wish you were in the crowd tonight."
The show starts and Jeff rushes us to the usual spot that friends and family usually are. Gemma and I run like our life depends on it but we don't want to miss another moment of our favourite person performing his album for the last time in a while. Jeff, his friends from home, a few of his managers, as well as Cara and my friends Joan and Andrew are already there.
Joan takes my hand when she sees us and she hugs me tightly. She always gets clingy after one drink and I just embrace her hug.
Harry moves to the second song of the evening, Golden, a very Italian song in my opinion. Jeff hands me a cup of beer and he dances with me and Cara, trying to annoy her as much as he can. Growing up together they know what annoys one another and they do it every time possible. Harry is moving up and down on stage and he hasn't looked at us yet.
He does though at the third song. He looks around, first he sees Gemma, then Andrew, Joan, Cara and everyone can watch his face lit up when he understands what's going on. He sees me and he stops moving for a second. He smiles widely and he sings the words Just let me adore you with more passion than before. He waves at us and he moves to look at Mitch still smiling.
I tried my best not to cry during Matilda but I failed. Cara let me hug her and I'm sure that Harry wanted to look at us while he sang it but he was on a completely different side of the stage.
He sang Best Song Ever too, and he didn't know the words. He had fun though and he was at our side. He laughed watching me and Cara sing to it. We knew all the world and we had a dream hearing it live, after a party we went to when we were in college.
The last song was a surprise one. He sat at a piano and everyone fell silent. Nobody talked, we didn't even record it. We sat here and watched him. I was wondering when he would break down. He played for about 10 minutes and then he rushed backstage. We went there pretty quickly, some fans greeted me and I greeted them smiling as kindly as I could while my mind was on my boy who was backstage alone.
When I entered his changing room, he was sitting on his couch. His hands on his eyes, crying, letting out all the emotions he felt tonight. I close the door behind me as I tell everyone to go to the common room and wait for us. He looks up at me and I walk towards the couch. I sit down and take him into my hug. His head on my chest as I caress his wet sweaty hair.
"My sweet boy, you were amazing."
"I don't know why I'm crying." He says, whispering to be more exact.
"I can understand it, my precious boy. It's the end of an era and it's good to let it all out. We can stay like that as long as you like, but when you feel ready we have to go back out there. Your friends are here to celebrate you."
We ended up going out there after we had a shower together. He calmed down completely and then he was ready to be celebrated by everyone who really loves him.
At the end of the night, we went back to the hotel really drunk and in different cars, just not to blow our cover. I don't remember every conversation I had with everyone, only a sentence Gemma, Harry's sister, told me. "You make him so happy, and he really seems to love you. I know that I will call you my sister really soon, Alice, you're the one."
"I wish, Gem. He's the one for me too. " I replied to her and I knew it. Taylor Swift has sung about it once and she was right, we never go out of style.
...
THE WORST CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN
I'm so sorry it took me so long to update but I moved to another city and it has all been wild. So I wasn't at my best, sorry.
Oh and thank you so much for the almost 12k reads. I love you all so much <333333333