"you ever thought about where we would be if we weren't here?"
at jin's question, namjoon picked up his gaze to stare into his lover's eyes. they just got done fucking, their breaths finally reaching a steady rhythm. they laid with jin's head on namjoon's chest, his fingers tracing patterns on namjoon's toned stomach.
"what do you mean?" namjoon questioned, his fingers playing with jin's hair.
jin sat up, leaning against the headboard and gazing at namjoon with an endearing look, "i mean, if we could be anywhere else right now, literally anywhere in the world, where would we be?"
namjoon leaned onto his left elbow and brought his hand to stroke jin's naked waist, his eyes never leaving his. "i don't really think about that anymore."
"why?"
"because here's pretty nice. with you."
jin smiled at that and bent over to peck namjoon's lips, "yeah. here's pretty nice."
namjoon thought about the way the two seemed to click automatically when they met each other. it was just something about the other.
they never thought they would find a love like this, but they're glad they did. love definitely exists and they were able to find it in each other.
and it didn't matter where they were.
"i don't want to lose you, namjoon." jin whispered, his voice laced with a distant pain.
namjoon watched a painful expression move across jin's eyes. he knew he was scared of lost, ever since what happened to him before the outbreak.
he loved him. with everything in him, he loved jin and there was just something about him that never made him feel alone as he should have.
there was just something about jin caring about him like that that made him feel like he could never actually be alone.
"you won't lose me. ever." namjoon confirmed, pulling jin into his embrace and resting his chin on top of jin's head as he stroked his back.
"is that a promise?"
"its a promise."
—
you either choose to love or you choose to live in an empty world with no one there, but you.
he loves you taehyung. now let yourself love him.
it was now night time, the chirping of crickets heard outside. the rest of the boys were sleeping most likely, but taehyung was wide awake. wide awake and pondering.
after his talk with yoongi, he's been drowning in his thoughts. thoughts aboit himself. about this world. about his old self.
and of course, the man who's got his heart in webs, jeon jungkook.
he's been on the couch for hours, staring at the walls with tear stained cheeks. he was sure his eyes were puffy and red, but he didn't find the need to care.
a few times, the boys all came to check on him. he ignored them and continued to sit on the couch, wondering about his life.
jungkook hasn't awoken yet. that was good, at least. he didn't want to face him until he concluded his thoughts.
but after the long hours, after the tears and crying, after the thoughts and talks, he's finally made his decision. after all of this debating in his mind, he knew what he had to do.
taehyung stood up from the couch and walked to jungkook's room, slowly untwisting the knob before walking in and shutting the door after him.
jungkook slowly woke up from the sound, turning the lamp on, that was slowly losing its life, on the bed side near him on. at seeing taehyung, he rose his eyebrows, "hi."
his voice was low and raspy, and his hair was a mess on his head. watching him yawn and fix his hair, taehyung stood against the door, his arms behind his back as he kept them placed on the knob, "hi."
jungkook eyed taehyung's stance and sat up against the headboard, "you okay?"
he didnt get a response, but taehyung instead moved away from the door. he slowly walked to jungkook, moving the covers aside and climbing onto his lap, straddling him.
surprised, jungkook placed his hands on taehyung's hips. he didnt feel like taehyung was asking for sex right now, so he felt awkward on how to proceed.
but, his heart tugged at seeing taehyung's wet eyes. they were also puffy and his long, wet eyelashes seemed to flutter in the semi-lit room.
"hey, what's wrong?" jungkook softly asked, moving one hand to hold against taehyung's cheek.
he wanted to communicate with him. jungkook wanted to know every single thought in taehyung's mind right now but, would taehyung finally let him in? would he finally let him in his mind?
taehyung smiled a small smile, his hand going up to jungkook's cheek to trace the small scar imprinted on his skin.
taehyung whispered, "how'd you get this?"
even in the barely lit room, jungkook could see the gleam in taehyung's eyes. he could seen the pain that resided in them. he could see care and he could see some of taehyung's personality. his eyes never left his.
there was nothing more powerful than their eyes meeting at that moment, longing for each other's company. for each other's touch. for each other's voice.
jungkook leaned his head into taehyung's touch on his scar and stroked his thumb on taehyung's waist, "had it since i was little. i got into this fight with my sister's boyfriend, some douchebag who was using her, and he pulled a knife."
taehyung's eyes shone, "he cut you?"
"yep. i won the fight, though. he had to go to the hospital the next day."
taehyung smiled and continued to trace jungkook's scar, "you're a good guy, jungkook. too good, sometimes. you deserve to be happy."
jungkook took notice in the way taehyung's gleamed, "so do you."
at that, taehyung broke eye contact and stared down at jungkook's chest, "i never got to thank you."
jungkook's eyebrows scrunched, "for what?"
taehyung brought his gaze back onto jungkook's, "for saving me."
jungkook smiled, "you saved us, taehyung."
taehyung shook his head, "no, you really saved me. i would have been stuck. but, you all saved me, so thanks. thanks for everything."
jungkook nodded, but felt a tiny prick of unease arise in his gut. something about this conversation wasn't steering him the right way.
of course, this moment was perfect. just them talking to each other and enjoying the life given to them. so, why did it feel so... wrong? why did it feel like a farewell?
why did it feel like taehyung was saying goodbye?
jungkook ignored his thoughts and brought his hand to taehyung's cheek, using his thumb to slowly caress his cheek, "you know you're with us now? you're our family, like i said before. i care about you a lot, taehyung."
taehyung held his gaze and bit his bottom lip before grabbing jungkook's hand with his own, holding it and bringing it to his lips to softy kiss, "i know."
"i care about you, too. a lot. I'm sorry i was an ass, but i really enjoy it here. you're different from everyone else. i've never met anyone like you and that scared me." taehyung leaned in closer to jungkook's face, placing both of his hands on jungkook's cheeks.
jungkook held taehyung's waist as he searched his eyes, "why?"
taehyung shrugged, "doesn't matter anymore."
"are you happy? are you better now?"
taehyung nodded and whispered, "at this moment, i've never been happier."
at that, he closed the distance between them and captured jungkook's lips in a slow, moving kiss. something about this kiss was different than the others. it wasn't filled with lust or desperation, but something deeper. something more.
something with passion and longing.
taehyung adjusted his seating and moved closer on jungkook's lap, his hands securing jungkook's face. he tilted his head to kiss him deeper, feeling jungkook's hand on the back of his head.
jeon jungkook was someone he never thought he would grow fond for. he would never think that he would enjoy being with the male with him now.
but, at the end of the day, he was fond of him. after building these blocks around his heart to protect himself, jungkook managed to knock it down within a month.
and it wasn't scary anymore. because, he concluded everything in his mind ten minutes ago. now, his mind was at peace.
and just for tonight, he wanted everything to be at peace. with jungkook.
running his hands down his back, jungkook eventually flipped their positions, taehyung now under him and jungkook's body in between his legs.
the two kissed passionately, their lips moving slow and caring in a way that they didn't think was possible with each other.
and as jungkook kissed the man beneath him, he understood his fate. the fate that was so easily written in the stars for him was kim taehyung. it was him and it has always been him.
and taehyung could try to push him away later, but he knew that taehyung felt it too. and now, it was confirmed. taehyung cared about him and that was alright.
he now understood the way namjoon felt with jin. the way yoongi felt with jimin. he felt it all and he wanted to feel it forever.
with taehyung.
needing to breathe, the two pulled their mouths away and stared into each other's eyes. taehyung had one hand on jungkook's cheek, the other on his nape, and jungkook had one arm resting on the bed above taehyung and another on his waist.
jungkook gulped, "taehyung, i need to say something."
not hearing a response from taehyung, he continued, "taehyung, i think i-"
taehyung connected his lips back to jungkook to cut him off and pulled away again to whisper, "don't. just.. let's just be like this, okay?"
jungkook searched taehyung's eyes and decided to listen, "okay."
taehyung knew what jungkook was going to say. he knew what three words he was going to confess to the male. but, he didn't want to hear it. he couldn't hear it, not now.
because if he heard it, he knew his heart would break all over again.
the pair quickly went back to each other's lips, getting lost in a beautiful bliss. the world was in balance at this moment. the new world did not exist. it was just the two of them against the sheets, in a beautiful cloud with the beautiful sky above the green grass, like a dream.
and it not only was beautiful, it felt beautiful. it felt real. just being with each other cured everything, for some reason. they found peace within each other without even knowing it.
so, jungkook helped take taehyung's shirt off. the two undressed each other and drank each other in their eyes. and jungkook went back in between taehyung's legs, their naked bodies blending together like a song.
and as jungkook sucked the skin on taehyung's collarbone and neck, along with sending kisses down his stomach, taehyung didn't care about how loud his moans were anymore. he didn't care if the biters or the other boys in the house heard.
because, he was letting himself go. he was letting himself enjoy this one last thing.
he consented to jungkook treating him like a magnificent, exquisite being. allowed him to touch him, even though their last fuck was hours ago. he allowed jungkook to come into contact with his skin, causing chills and trembling all over. he allowed him to compliment him and refer to him as his everything. he enjoyed it, and wanted it, so he gave him complete freedom to do as he pleased. he loved being with this man and he loved this feeling.
it was just that spark that ignited between them every time they so much as looked at each other. everytime they touched each other. that spark that lit up as soon as one of them walked into the room. it was that spark that scared taehyung because he knew, deep down, he loved him. he loved this man, jeon jungkook, so much that he would do anything for him.
except proceed to let himself love him.
there were just some bonds, he realized, that were stronger than blood. that were stronger than anything. some bonds prevailed over everything else and he finally realized that.
and that was why he had to leave.
he had to leave. and maybe the boys would hate him, maybe they would hurt him, but this was what he had to do. he had to get as far away as possible.
because what came with love, came with death. and he wouldn't put himself through that pain again. he couldn't.
so, he would leave. but, for now, he ignored the painful thoughts. he ignored everything bad and focused on the good. just for now. just for a little bit more, he would get caught up in this paradise with jungkook, and then he would end it.
he didn't even realize the tears welling up in his eyes as jungkook stopped his movements, bending down to stare into taehyung's hurt-filled eyes, "woah, taehyung? hey, what's going on?"
taehyung sniffled and smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, "nothing."
jungkook brought one thumb to wipe a tear on his cheek, "you're crying."
taehyung bit his wavering bottom lip and drew jungkook closer, wrapping his arms around his nape, "just fuck me."
jungkook was hesitant, "taehyung-"
taehyung kissed him, drowning his words and swallowing them whole. he murmured against his mouth between the kisses, "fuck me, jungkook. please.... please make me feel good."
still not quite sure about this, he pushed his questions to the back of his head and groaned in the kisses, taehyung pulling him closer to his shaft.
jungkook felt like taehyung was running away from him. running from his feelings. but, for now, he would make them feel good. he would question it later.
jungkook then fucked him. though, taehyung considered riding him, he preferred to relax and savor this tranquility. to just live in this moment.
taehyung saw that jungkook was staring at him with a great deal of desire and concern as his legs were spread wide. he felt a shudder run down his spine from the intensity in his veiled eyes.
the instant taehyung encouraged him to, jungkook pushed into his heat, experiencing complete joy rather than any discomfort. as jungkook repeatedly thrust into him, there was nothing but ecstasy. with every kiss, jungkook's lips remained on taehyung's and his hands lingered on his skin, igniting a burning need and leaving behind sparks.
as taehyung groaned under jungkook's thrusts, jungkook licked his bottom lip. taehyung felt as though he was on a cloud, floating above everyone and everything. as taehyung tightened his grip on jungkook's neck, long, red marks were left on the skin where his fingernails had scraped.
jungkook groaned as the scratches fueled him with more adrenaline, going into taehyung with determined and energetic thrusts, yet loving and passionate all at the same time. it was surprising how easy they could fuck when they just had sex hours ago. taehyung pulled on jungkook's hair, pulling his hips up to meet jungkook's thrusts, giving jungkook even more than he was receiving.
taehyung felt his eyes roll to the back of his head as loud gasps escaped his mouth, jungkook continuously hitting his prostate.
as taehyung's eyes flew back open, he came upon jungkook's eyes, which were always on him. they never left his and that made him want to cry, out of
pleasure and out of overstimulation, and from the way jungkook's galaxy-like eyes melted into his being. this sex didn't feel like the past intimate moments they shared together. it felt like more. way more than the two of them even realized.
it was love. innocent and carefree, young love.
and for the next few minutes, the two endured through their pleasure and love without moving their eyes away from each other. even as they felt themselves close to release, that familiar heat arising in their bellies. even as the bed's creaks could be heard throughout the house. and even as jungkook's thrusts started to lose their momentum, going into a sloppy rhythm as he was close, their eyes stayed on each other.
soon, they both came at the same time, their loud moans filling up the air in the room. for a while, jungkook stayed inserted in taehyung, just relishing on the warmth he felt. finally pulling out, he fell on the bed next to taehyung, who's eyes were fixed on the ceiling and breaths coming out harsh. taehyung lay with a hand splayed on his stomach as he felt his body become more light as the time went on.
after gaining the energy to clean themselves up, they did so and laid next to each other with their with each others' bodies providing a home within a home for each other. they stared into each other's eyes as jungkook's fingers traced patterns onto taehyung's waist, his palm supporting his head as he stared down at the man he felt his heart throb for. taehyung had a beautiful after glow, his eyes glowing as he laid on the pillow, watching jungkook with curiosity and pain.
"are you okay?" jungkook asked once again, his fingers still dancing onto taehyung's waist.
taehyung nodded and whispered back, "perfect."
"you're beautiful." taehyung soon whispered as silence passed between the two, making jungkook's eyes widen.
"me?"
taehyung playfully rolled his eyes, moving closer to jungkook as his hand traced the skin on jungkook's chest, "no, the wall behind you."
jungkook smirked, "aw, i was about to start blushing. too bad you were talking about the wall."
taehyung rolled his eyes and went back to staring at jungkook. the black pieces of hair that fell down his forehead. the bunny smile that formed on his lips, which would never lose its charm. the small crinkles at the corners of his lips as he laughed about something. the sparkles in his eyes that resembled a galaxy everytime he so much as spared a glance at them.
jungkook was perfect.
"do you believe in soulmates?" jungkook questioned, his eyes watching taehyung.
taehyung bit his bottom lip in thought before answering, "i think so."
jungkook nodded, "i believe that there is someone for everyone. i believe in cupid too, even though he's just some weird baby in diapers with arrows."
taehyung laughed, showing that boxy smile jungkook began to adore, "who knew you were such a romantic?"
jungkook shrugged, "that's what everyone said about me before... before all of this. this world."
taehyung then began to wonder about college jungkook. jeon jungkook, a university student with lots of friends and maybe a cute boyfriend. someone he pronounced his love to and took on cute dates and snuck kisses throughout a movie. someone he was happy with.
taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat, "do you think we ever would have met?"
jungkook smiled, "yeah. i mean, we weren't that far from each other. like i said, i believe cupid makes things happen for a reason."
taehyung grinned, "would you ever take me on a date?"
jungkook leaned down to taehyung, his breath hitting taehyung's face like a fan, "i would do so much to and for you, tae."
at the nickname, taehyung's stomach jumped and he felt butterflies. he would have loved that. he would have loved to be asked out by a nervous and giggly jungkook, who was obviously a romantic. he would have loved to go see a movie with him and steal kisses from him in the hallway or maybe even run his hands through his hair, because he was his. he would have been just for him.
"oh yeah? like what?" taehyung replied.
jungkook brought his hand up to taehyung's cheek and softly caressed his skin, "i would ask you out, probably in front of everyone so they would know not to flirt with you again. i'm sure everyone would have flirted with you, because you're gorgeous."
he eyed taehyung's red cheeks and smiled his bunny smile before continuing, "and if you said yes, i would have kissed you in front of everyone. i would have kissed you for hours. i probably would have been crushing on you for months before actually making a move."
he brought his hand back down to taehyung's waist and circled circles on his skin, "i would wake you up with breakfast every day. I would not fuck you until I had you in a room with candles and petals. just us."
taehyung's heart panged at the thought. the thought of jungkook attending to him like this.
oh, what they could have had in the old world.
"and i would wake you up with kisses. i would do everything for you. it would be a paradise."
taehyung brought his hand up to hold against jungkook's cheek, "i... we would have loved that."
jungkook nodded and leaned in more to plant a small kiss on taehyung's forehead. he pulled away and whispered, "i could still do that."
taehyung's eyes widened, "in this world?"
"mhm. no matter how shitty this place is, we still care about each other, right? we could do anything."
taehyung didn't respond, but lowered his hand.
jungkook saw his hesitance and questioned, "bad idea?"
taehyung bit his bottom lip and avoided his eyes, choosing to stare at his chest instead, "how are you not afraid? of anything? how do you just go on like life is normal?"
after digesting his words, jungkook chose what to say, "i'm scared everyday, tae. every day, i am frightened."
"of what could happen to me. my family." he caught taehyung's eyes, holding them in a way that he didnt know was possible, "what could happen to you."
"but, why sit around moping about it? that just makes it worse. even if i die today or tomorrow, i want to live everyday like this is normal. and i will never regret it."
taehyung swallowed at his words, his heart in two. he knew when he left, jungkook would be hurt. hell, he would be too. but, this was for the best. it was for the best and he had to do this.
right?
taehyung sat up and scooted back from jungkook a little, trying to create some distance so his heart could not break even more.
he sat criss crossed and fiddled with the blanket, his eyes focusing on the sheets and ignoring the feel of jungkook's gaze on him.
"what about you?"
taehyung snapped his head up, "what about me?"
jungkook himself fixed his position to where he was leaning against the headboard, his hands rested on the blanket covering his lower body. taehyung sat facing him, with a little distance.
"how are you gonna live your life in this world?"
taehyung watched jungkook's questioning gaze and whispered, "i don't know."
"does being with me make it better? this life?"
as taehyung watched jungkook's orbs, he realized that jungkook was always searching him. like he was looking for something within his hazel eyes. like he had to catch him in some way before he would disappear.
taehyung's eyes glossed as he smiled a small smile, "you have no idea."
jungkook slowly nodded, "then tell me."
taehyung shook his head, "no."
"why not?"
"it wouldn't make anything-" taehyung cut himself off with a sigh, not wanting to spoil his plans.
he cleared his throat, "everything is complicated."
"why won't you let me in, taehyung?" jungkook whispered, wanting to desperately find out what taehyung was thinking about.
taehyung eyed his pained expression and brought his head down to stare at the sheets again, "i don't know what you're talking about."
after a few minutes of silence, he heard a sigh from jungkook, followed by an, "okay, taehyung."
jungkook then yawned, his eyes getting droopier by the second. taehyung felt panic arise in him. he wasn't ready yet. he wasn't ready to say goodbye so soon.
well, he wasn't saying anything. he planned to leave once jungkook fell asleep, but he wasn't ready. he just wanted to stay in this moment for a little more. thats all he wanted.
he knew if he told jungkook his plans, the male would never let him leave.
"fuck, i'm tired." jungkook moved down the bed to lay his head down on the pillow, feeling sleep trying to overtake him. his eyes closed as he faced the ceiling, a arm under his head and another on his stomach.
he felt the bed shift and cocked open an eye to see taehyung, leaning over him with sparkling eyes.
he looked so hurt and pained, but jungkook would never get to know why. maybe tomorrow, he could get advice from his hyungs on how to get taehyung to open up to him. to convince him that he was safe.
"what's something you would have done in the old world with someone you cared about? like, a dream." taehyung whispered, his face close to jungkook's as he placed his chin on the rigid abs of the male, his hands laying on jungkook's body.
jungkook smiled, "so, with you?"
taehyung's heart grew warm at the sentence and he felt a smile appearing on his lips. he recovered and coughed, "sure."
jungkook chewed on his bottom lip in thought as thank of an answer. he then replied, "the beach."
"huh?" taehyung blinked.
jungkook smiled as he looked out to the empty space in the room, in a sort of daze, "dancing on the beach with you sounds beautiful. i always loved the beach and dancing was always just so fun."
he brought his gaze back down to taehyung, "just two souls dancing on the beach. i would love that."
taehyung's lower lip quavered and rose up to move his face closer to jungkook's, staring at his lips.
taehyung whispered against his mouth, his eyes filling with tears, "just two souls doing whatever they wanted."
jungkook stared at his lips, "exactly."
taehyung placed a hand on his cheek and engulfed him into a long passionate kiss, feeling so warm and loved that he might cry.
and as their kisses ended, jungkook's eyes grew heavier and he eventually fell asleep, soft snores filing up the room.
taehyung wanted to laugh at seeing how much the boy slept, especially when he slept the whole day. but, he couldn't find the want to find anything funny.
there was just a dull ache in his heart. and it hurt. so, so much.
he bent over to jungkook, watching his long eyelashes flutter in his sleep.
he placed a soft kiss on his forehead, closing his eyes as a tear drop landed onto jungkook's skin.
if reincarnation was real, maybe that dream would happen. maybe there will be a couple that will happily dance on the beach, so in love that they wouldn't care about stares.
so in love that they wouldn't care about anything.
no biters, no fear, nothing.
and in that other lifetime, he knew his soul would gladly dance with jungkook on the beach. because his soul would be at peace and he would find peace with jungkook.
it seemed like such a fairytale the more he thought about it. like such a dream.
but, maybe thats all it was.
maybe love was simply meant for fairytales and dreams.
like everyone says, maybe love could not truly exist anywhere, but in books.