CHAPTER SEVEN:
i've been around the world a million times
and all you men are slime
a gun to my head, goodbye, i am dead
wastewood rockers, it's time for crime
🎸⋆⭒˚｡⋆
you watch cartman put on a performance and witness your principal breaking down — and not in a good way.
eyes, dull and empty as they always were widened a bit to the sound of something slowly echoing throughout the gym. you couldn't tell exactly what it was at first, it was so ambient but melodic.
cartman, dressed in a way that personified cigarettes, entered through the smoke. the smudged eyeliner around his eyes now hidden when his sunglasses fell to his nose. a spotlight shining brightly as it ever did, gave a glare to the audience.
you shuffled your feet slightly, a little alarmed that he out of all people looks unconventionally attractive in that attire. you gag in your mouth.
your groupmates, your principal, and you were all still on the stage in the middle of the gym. a high pedestal watching someone enter the room and catch everyone's attention, you were relieved. for some reason, your savior today would be cartman, and you would never have to do any of this again.
he had a microphone taped onto his cheek, your eyes steady as he strikes a pose.
"we should make bullying kill itself," he sings.
immediately, without fail, you slam your head onto the podium in front of you. in your opinion, actually, the general consensus opinion is that it's so over. the 'anti-bullying' committee is so fucked as they know it.
cartman's voice booms in a clear tone as he bangs his fist into his chest, "as a victim, i need your help," you can't help but shudder.
cartman walks by the bleachers singing into the crowd.
"'cause when i'm alone, and i'm all on my own, no place to call my home,
i know who can save me... the anti-bullying committee..."
you dig your fingers into your scalp as you incoherently mutter, "we're so fucked, we're so fucked, we're so fucked," a myriad of times.
the spotlight that enlightened cartman has now moved to the stage, right where you stood. it was too fast to process, one second you were in front of the podium blinded, and the next you were being ushered off by some random guys.
"hey! what the--" stan says before he's trampled by long-haired men with guitars.
your heart thumps in your chest as you witness your feet glued to the floor and your eyes set on the stage. you see a bald guy on the drumset that magically appeared, softly tapping a kick pedal and cymbals.
you hear guitars faintly start up as kenny taps on your shoulder. he points to the rafters up above, "i found butters."
you look up and squint just to see butters controlling the spotlight, he sends a thumbs up back to the group.
kyle looks away, "god damnit."
that's when the drums crash and the guitars start to sing. the rhythm of the intro grabs your attention as you listen to the high riffs of the lead guitarist. confusion swept your mind like a tide, how did the situation land here, a live show?
cartman walks up the steps to the stage, that's when you remember: oh... no, this is pure torture for whatever karma you had left over in a past life.
"don't you look away, please listen to what i've gotta say!"
you can see the energy of a rockstar ignite him as he waves an arm out into the air.
"someone called me fat again, and that i like kissing men,"
at the sound of those words being sung, you swiftly turn your head around, hoping that didn't offend pc principal---even if you already personally offended him three times today. instead, all you got was the sight of rows of students holding up their phone's flashlights.
you internally gawk, "they better be paid for doing all that..."
"and who cares if it's true? all i know is that... bullying hurts me and you,"
"what..." was all that kenny said. to be fair, you had a similar reaction to cartman's lyrical style.
then, in an instant, the lights in the gym multiply. what was once a regular small town high school gym turned into a stadium, a beam of brightness lighting up corners of the crowd, swiftly moving all around. the acoustics were thumping so loud, you felt your ribcage vibrate inside you.
"no more tears, no more pain, together, we will break the chain," cartman's voice cracks as his notes were so emotionally driven.
you hear pc principal next to you choke and start sobbing. you frown at him, sort of in disgust, before you start patting his back out of confusion and pity.
"and when i feel like i can't breathe," a spotlight appears out of nowhere and shines brightly down on kyle, stan, you, and kenny, "i know the committee will save me,"
you look over to your fellow club members and see as despair washes over their faces, so does yours.
"so if you feel like you've got no one else...
make bullying kill itself."
a guitar solo emits from the giant amp placed in front of the stage.
despite the loud ruckus, you hear stan next to you groan, "dude... he totally stole my idea..."
this, in turn, makes you slowly death stare into his eyes, "this was... your idea?"
stan jumps at the sudden eye contact, "well, i mean--"
before he could finish his made-up-on-the-spot excuse, cartman jumped from the stage onto the gym floor. you were really hoping his ankles would fail on him, but alas, his lucky streak hasn't run out.
"everyone sing with me!"
cartman belts, "make bullying kill itself!"
he pauses. not one student opens their mouth.
"make bullying kill itself!"
out of pity, you assumed, some students did quietly repeat him.
"make bullying kill itself!"
you now notice that pc principal hasn't been beside you in a long minute. actually, you catch his retreating form walking out of the gym. that's also when you notice kenny starting his stopwatch on his wrist.
"make bullying..." the audience anticipates cartman's attempt to his high and mighty notes, "kill itself!"
soon, this rock propaganda song comes to an end, and the lights flicker back to normal.
if you felt like you and your every move was being watched earlier in this assembly, well now you're certainly being stared to death. stared to death, that's an alternative to just ending it here and now.
cartman is breathing heavily into his mic piece before he turns around and waves. "thank you everybody! you all have a good night!"
kyle can be seen shaking like a building in an earthquake, presumably, anger is involved. stan seems to have disintegrated, kenny's soul is no longer present in his body, and you are having the time of your life right now. the school-to-prison pipeline is very real, especially now if you get the chance to make cartman pay.
your eyes shift to the rafters, where butters has now disappeared, then to the student body. everyone seems to have enough, talking amongst themselves in whispers and furrowed brows. you're fucked, this is fucked.
"will the students of the anti-bullying committee please come to the principal's office? i repeat," a very bored-sounding lady mutters over the intercom, "come to the principal's office immediately."
oh... you're even more fucked.
when has staring at the floor and sulking ever fixed any problem you had? none, but this fact alone doesn't stop you as you sink even more into the squeaky hardwood floors.
kenny stops his stopwatch, "i think we won the world record of getting suspended the fastest."
at this current moment, the anti-bullying committee is sitting outside of the principal's office.
you can hear cartman, four seats down from you, giggling to himself. you can hear butters next to you on your left muttering nervous prayers. then, kyle, stan, and kenny are as visibly upset as they could be. alas, there you are, twiddling your thumbs.
what a silly predicament everyone got themselves into.
cartman shoves his phone in kyle's face, "look how tiktok famous i am, dude! already fifty thousand views on this video!"
kyle grimaces and shoves cartman's phone away, "yeah, that's 'cause everyone's making fun of you, shithead."
the aforementioned niche microcelebrity tilts his head and feigns naiveness, "awww, looks like someone's a little jealous."
stan who's right beside you crosses his arms, "i'm not jealous."
you side-eye him. then you lean forward to add and continue the ongoing conversation, "stan probably is. he said you ripped him off, cartman."
doing your best to ignore stan's face morphing into shock from betrayal, you held back a laugh.
kenny, sandwiched between kyle and stan, copies your movements as he leans forward as well, "yeah...?" he raises an eyebrow, "also no said you were jealous, stan."
the boy in a blue and red hat huffs, "who cares?!"
"obviously you," you said flatly.
stan, in an instant, turns his head to you and sneers.
"well, i was the one who wrote a song about how bullying should kill itself in the fourth grade. i was the original!"
to say that didn't scare you would be a lie. holy shit... he was taking this very seriously.
you raised your hands up, in a way of surrendering so that greasy-haired guy wouldn't kill you for simply trolling him. "alright, we get it... it was your idea," you said once your back hit the seat.
crossing your arms, you averted your eyes away from him, that's when you remembered butters's presence. actually, that's when you remembered what butters told you.
you hold your steady gaze to butters's eyes and he unfortunately knew what was crossing your mind already.
he quickly starts shaking his head. too bad, you had already made up your mind.
looking over to your right, "like it was your idea to throw a brick through my window, isn't that right, stan?"
no one says another word, they all look at you like you just spoke in an ancient scripture. not until cartman dramatically gasps and points a finger at butters.
"butters, you fucking narc!"
butters jumps like a frail woodland animal, "i'm sorry! i couldn't hold it in anymore!"
once again, with your arms crossed you sighed, "he's innocent. he deserves to clear his name." a small smile appears on your face, "anyways, it's whatever. it's in the past..." that's until you make direct eye contact with cartman, "because now i have someone else to send death threats to."
cartman's buck teeth became a little prominent when he held a finger up, "now that's called bullying."
the door opening to the principal's office was abrupt. there stood your ever-so-menacing principal as he quietly looked at the members of the anti-bullying committee. he nods his head, signaling everyone to come in.
you save a glance to each of your fellow war buddies as you trudge in, minus cartman.
if you looked at cartman right now, you probably wouldn't be able to help yourself but beat him purple and blue. the good characteristic about you though is that self-control is your secret talent.
everyone takes a too-small plastic chair from the row presented in front of pc principal's desk.
pc principal clears his throat.
"so, whose idea was it?"
in a fraction of a second your face contorted as you felt irked... the mastermind is sitting right in front of him, the guy who was up on stage singing. apparently, your principal has the audacity to ask who it was, adding two and two together shouldn't be that difficult.
"before anyone says anything," cartman's voice cuts through your thoughts, "this was this douchebag's fault." he points a finger at you, very mature.
you saw how everyone turned their attention towards you, waiting for you to bite back. instead, the floor seemed like a more interesting subject to you.
your principal lowers his sunglasses to inspect you, like a little bug.
"is that true?"
you see how everyone looks at each other in secret messages, plotting to pin the blame on you. how surprised could you really be? you had a slight idea of how bad things could go with these freaks that attract terrible luck more than women.
although, you didn't catch the gaze of a pair of green eyes as they settled and then squinted at you.
everyone hears a single man's sigh, "no, everyone was responsible."
"what?!" you hear butters next to you screech.
"kyle..." cartman growls. you proceed to harshly side-eye him.
"we all worked on the project, just like what stan told you."
kenny shoots the guy on an ego trip a look, "i don't think pc principal is talking about the presentation, kyle."
"exactly, we also helped with the... performance?" he shrugged his shoulders.
your eyes widened at the shock value of some guy throwing his friends under the bus along with you. of course, you didn't assume it was for your sake, but rather for some self-gratification. nevertheless, your head was reeling, doing whatever it takes to not laugh your ass off.
"no, we didn't!" you hear stan try to defend himself and everyone else.
"well, it doesn't matter." kyle's eyes follow back to you, "you, are a part of the committee. because of your actions that would make us all liable."
cartman drags his face down with his hands, then quickly sputters out, "oh my fucking god dude, don't do this."
you weren't sure what to say now. especially since careful eyes were locked on to you. you sat in silence before you blinked rapidly and smiled in quizzical amusement.
"...do you want to be suspended too, or what?"
"no, i'm just doing the right thing."
your face shifted into a mixture of annoyance and dread, "sure... well, the right thing would be to beat the shit out of cartman and butters--"
you felt a harsh nudge on your side. that was when kenny cleared his throat and his eyes averted from you to pc principal's piercing stare. that was pretty much the first time, in a long time, that you cowered in front of him.
it was awkward, it was quiet, and the air felt too dense to breathe in as it was polluted by harsh glares at each other and cutthroat silence.
it wasn't hard to picture everyone imagining kyle being hit by a ten-ton truck. butters was still eyeing you though, probably based on your last comment.
pc principal caught everyone's attention when he leaned back in his chair.
"so, it was all of you?"
everybody's heads turned to you, what can you expect?
"pretty believable, right?"
pc principal pauses after your statement. then, he finally takes off his sunglasses, revealing his red and puffy eyes.
kenny whispers under his breath, "holy shit, is he high?" it was your turn to harshly nudge him.
your usually menacing principal stares off into the void, he seems to be looking right through your group of failed anti-bullying assembly speakers. it didn't need to be said though, everyone was weirded the fuck out.
even more when pc principal started crying.
you instantly made a face, in disgust.
"i'm sorry..." he cries softly.
he continues, "i don't think i've ever seen a better representation of anti-bullying, it makes me think... to every single time before where i would beat a student, was i bullying?" he grabs a tissue to blow his nose. "of course, it's always in the name of social justice for underrepresented and oppressed minorities...but..."
wiping his tears his voice shudders, "but, maybe that's unethical..."
gawked as ever, you broke out of your trance to see everyone else looking amongst themselves. they all had the collective attitude of, 'what the fuck did we do?'
"i might be as bad as jeff bezos."
kenny consoled, "now let's not get too ahead of yourself."
pc principal blows his nose one last time before he pops his shades right back on.
"still, as a principal and authority figure, i have to punish students who act out of line according to the code of conduct."
everyone in the committee starts looking at each other, waiting for someone to lead the conversation. stan then plainly says, "okay?"
pc principal stands up from his chair, as he approaches his window with his hands behind his back.
"i don't think detention, suspension, or expulsion is what i'm looking for."
butters, who is sitting right next to you starts shaking and instinctively reaches for a hand to hold.
you let him hold your hand.
pc principal, in his demeaning voice, speaks.
"i think... i have an idea."
author's note
hey guys. erm. sorry abt being MIA
i kinda got swallowed by genshin impact
but at least i have cyno and kirara now ⭐️
ooo so what do we think?? yk. i think
the friends are starting to hate y/n less now
so that's pretty awesome..... i wrote this
why am i commentating on it?
my plan is to deliver the next 2 chapters
ASAP to make up for 2 weeks of laziness
sooooooo!!! see u soon <3