- Bada's POV -
I felt so relieved after finally telling y/n about my past relationship.
It took me so long to finally speak about it. I actually didn't want to tell the girls about it either but they forced it out of me. After I finally ended the relationship I refused to do anything related to dance, as it reminded me of Redy. I just couldn't stand feeling her still having this grip on me.
Eventually, my members noticed my antipathy to practice. They decided to just come over one day to get everything out. I obviously didn't want to tell them. None of them knew I was in a relationship, let alone in a relationship with a woman. I was scared they would look at me differently if I came out.
- Timeskip to that day -
As I was laying on my bed, I heard a sudden knock at the door. I asked myself who would come here this early in the morning until I looked at the clock. It was 3pm already? I haven't even changed out of my pajamas.
I shuffled towards the door, realizing how messy my place has gotten. I tripped and almost fell over face forward. "Shit, when did all of this get here?!" I said to myself.
I slightly opened the door, in order to hide myself because I was, as I mentioned, still in pajamas. Before even seeing who was at the door because I forgot to put on my glasses again, it burst open and revealed all of my members. Tatter letting herself in first, with a bag full of drinks and snacks. One after one, they came in. They all greeted me, as if this was the most usual thing for them. Sowoen reached up, fixed my hair and smiled at me sweetly before fully entering.
"Okay, I love you and all, but what are you doing here?" I asked, visibly agitated.
Lusher was the one who spoke up.
"We noticed your loss of fun while dancing. That can only mean something bad happened. Sowoen asked if we should visit you to cheer you up, and we all thought it would be a good idea." She smiled at me, closing her eyes in the process.
"Well, it's not. It's none of your business." I didn't mean to be rude, I know Sowoen and the others were just worried but them showing up made me anxious. I didn't want to tell them just yet.
They looked around my house, seeing all the mess.
"You're usually very clean and organized. What happened here?" Cheche raised an eyebrow.
"Just didn't feel like cleaning. I'm sorry, I'm actually quite busy right now. Could we meet another time?" I tried getting out of the situation.
"Busy with what? You're wearing pajamas. You can't fool anyone." Minah laughed.
"In all seriousness though, please tell us what's going on with you. We're not here to judge you for anything, we just want to be able to understand you and help you if it's possible." Tatter already put the bag on a counter, still walking back towards us as she spoke.
I felt hesitant to say anything. They wouldn't believe me if I said it's nothing. But I also didn't want to tell them about Redy.
I was still contemplating what to say when I felt someone dragging me towards the living room and onto the sofa. Now they all sat in a circle around me, waiting for an explanation.
What have I gotten myself into?
"Uhm.." I couldn't even continue after that. It felt like all the saliva left my mouth and my eyes were burning.
Sowoen, who was sitting next to me, must have noticed it and rubbed my back for support. I weakly smiled at her as best as I could, not wanting to worry her too much.
"Guys. I don't really know how to tell you.. I'm very sorry for causing so much worry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." I quickly inhaled, feeling my chest tighten with fear.
They were silent. They patiently waited for me to continue.
"Look, I don't want to make a big deal out of this, neither do I want any trouble between us.
So, basically I was in a relationship for some time.." I stopped, quietly glancing around for any reactions. I sighed with worry as I saw their mouths widen.
"Sorry. Please continue."
"..And I was in that relationship with a woman. Redy. You might know her? She's in a crew called 1million." I closed my eyes, breathing out heavily after having said that. I felt dizzy.
"We met after I finished teaching a class. She funnily teached in the same room after me. We quickly bonded and realized we were actually attracted to each other and not just in a platonic friendship."
I felt like dying after saying all of that. I didn't look my members in the eyes.
There was some silence, which I wasn't surprised about.
I heard someone clearing their throat and looked up just a bit.
"Bada. Did you think we wouldn't accept you liking women? If that's what you're worried about, I'm kind of hurt." Tatter looked at me with furrowed eyebrows.
I looked at her as my mouth slowly agape. Tears began welling in my eyes.
"So it doesn't upset you that.. I like women?"
"Of course not. I thought it was pretty clear we all enjoy looking at and drooling over pretty girls. You're not the only one. Don't worry." Lusher said grinning, but also understanding.
The members comforted me, telling me it's okay and that they would never look at me differently.
"But, if you've been in a relationship with Redy for some time now, why are you suddenly so depressed?" Minah asked, genuinely trying to understand me.
It got quiet again and I had to open up once more.
"We- I mean, I broke up. You know, when we first got together, everything went so well. We would always hang out at her apartment, watch movies, go on fun dates, you know, do everything couples do.
But, when she felt like I was trying to outshine her with my dancing, which by the way was the last thing I would want, she started treating me like I'm not a person. She wouldn't let me practice, she wouldn't let me go out without her permission.. and even with permission, I had to exactly protocol what I had done when I went out. She didn't want me to 'be better' than her. It almost seemed like our relationship only consisted of me being her measure on how much better she was than me."
I groaned, kind of relieved to have successfully opened up but also feeling weird because I have never told anyone.
I waited for reactions. My members seemed to be shocked, I honestly don't blame them for that. I would've reacted the same way.
As if caused by a chain reaction, they all hugged me. I finally completely let my feelings out. I only then could feel how suffocating it was to not talk about this to anyone. I'm truly thankful for my amazing members. I cried a lot that day.
The girls didn't want to leave my side and even stayed for the night.
Some time after I talked everything out with my members, I slowly started regaining my love for dancing. Thinking about Redy didn't hurt as much anymore either.
As a group, we soon acknowledged that something was missing, so we prepared an audition, in order to find someone who could fill that missing something.
So far, none of the dancers fit perfectly. They were good, but they didn't fit in our team.
We were about to give up, as a beautiful girl entered. She seemed extremely nervous. She took a deep breath and bowed. The girl looked at everyone of us, and during our eye contact, I felt something, but I brushed it off. I welcomed her and told her to start whenever she's ready.
She danced with so much power and confidence and was just amazing overall. Lusher looked over to me and gave me a big nod. She's the one we've been looking for.
She finished her choreo and bowed once again. "Thank you very much.." I quickly looked into her papers again. "y/n! You were awesome. Keep up the great work. We will discuss some things and will let you know if you made it in just a bit. Please have some more patience, sit down and rest." I smiled at her and she made her way out.
"Girls. Did you see her?" Minah squealed.
I didn't say anything, I just smirked, knowing she's going to be the one joining us.
"It's her. Defenitely." I suddenly blurted out.
Everyone agreed and we called in all the dancers.
"First of all, thank you all very much for making your way here and showing us your incredible talents. We've seen many strong dancers, but in the end we had to pick one who stood out the most. With that being said, y/n, welcome to Bebe! To all the other dancers here today: Please do remember that not being chosen doesn't mean you're not any less talented. We were just looking for a specific talent among all the other ones and found it in y/n. Don't feel discouraged. Stay healthy and don't push yourselves too hard! And again, thank you all. Y/n, if you could just stay for a moment please." I stood up while talking, trying to form my sentences as polite as possible. The other people were seriously talented, but just not what we were looking for.
Y/n walked towards up to us after everyone left and shyly smiled. She's cute.
My members and y/n waited for me to say something, but I looked over to Lusher so she could show y/n that she plays an important role too. She noticed and started speaking.
"Well y/n, you're in! We're so happy to have you. You really did an amazing job today. Would you mind joining us while we practice tomorrow?"
"I would love to. Thanks again. I would have never thought you guys would pick me." She looked down and rubbed her arm.
Lusher chuckled and spoke up again. "Why don't I just give you my number so I can send you the location and time for practice?" Y/n handed over her phone and let Lusher type in her number.
"Alright, then that would be it for today. Please get home safely and rest a lot!"
We all told her to be careful and to rest and soon went home. I walked home, as I didn't feel like driving. I put in my headphones and listened to music. I don't know why Lusher having her number annoyed me. I don't even know that girl yet.
- Back to the present -
"Hey Bada, could we practice just a bit? I still can't memorize one specific part during the chorus." y/n asked me with puppy eyes. How could I say no?
"Of course love, should we go to our studio and then get lunch after?" I replied. She nodded in agreement and ran to get ready.
I started the engine and gave y/n a helmet. She quickly got onto my bike and held me loosely. I started driving and sped up drastically, making her grab me tightly. I felt her slap my shoulder at a red light and laughed.
We walked up to our studio after getting off my bike. I took off my jacket and opened the door to the room.
I walked in with y/n behind me. She was playing with a strand of my hair, seemingly lost in thoughts. I didn't look up, as I noticed some spilled coffee on my jacket. I put my phone in my other hand and tried to wipe it off.
I looked up because I heard some noise and dropped my phone.
"Tatter?" She turned around, looking as shocked as me.
She looked at me with wide eyes, then towards y/n.